"Today's Happiness" is a 212 Spring Festival Evening sketch performed by Shen Teng, Huang Yang and Allen from Mahua FunAge's team. In "Today's Happiness" program, Shen Teng, Huang Yang and Allen moved the most popular time-travel drama to the program. The lines about time-travel in the story were constant, and the actors' performances also caused the audience to burst into laughter.
Watch the website without advertisements /haojian/123.html
Picture
Sketch script
Allen plays Deng Xiaoliang? Shen Teng plays Hao Jian? Huang Yang plays Deng Xiaoliang's wife
Allen: (Hao Jian hides behind Deng Xiaoliang) Dajian! Dajian! What are you doing? (I find Hao Jian later) I'll step on you again!
Shen Teng: where is your wife?
Allen: I'm out (looking out of the window).
Shen Teng: Let me tell you something, Deng Xiaoliang. Do you think you are a tiger, huh? You said it's not good for you to let me play your son for you, but you have to let me play your son for you. Can your daughter-in-law trust you with this stupid trick? Unless she is also a tiger.
Allen: My wife must believe it (she looks determined to win)!
Shen Teng: Oh, my God, you two are as close as wings.
Allen: Isn't she suffering from prenatal syndrome? She always says that she is unhappy when she thinks of one thing after another. She has a big temper and gets angry.
Shen Teng: Then don't ignite. Does she spontaneously ignite?
Allen: Hao Jian!
Shen Teng: Hey! Don't worry about my name is Hao Jian. You can either call me Xiao Hao or Dajian, so don't call me. What a shame! No way! I really can't help you. I'm leaving. (Speaking of walking out the door)
Allen: (Stretching out his arm and pointing to Hao Jian who is about to walk out the door) Hey! No, you go! (Hao Jian turns around) I'll call your daughter-in-law now and say that you run to the bath center every day and don't take a bath after that.
Shen Teng: (arguing) I found another job to give people a bath! I don't give people a bath to eat for my daughter-in-law!
Allen: Hey ~ (covering her face with her hand) I can't imagine what your daughter-in-law is eating! Hao Jian! Just watch me and my brother play together and help me. (takes out a dozen dollars from his pocket)
Shen Teng: What do you mean? Huh? Insulting me with 2 yuan? I owe you those two money? (I also took out a dozen dollars from my pocket and put them on Deng Xiaoliang's money.) I just got paid. You are deliberately alienating the relationship between our buddies. (I took all the money from Deng Xiaoliang's hand and put it away.) You didn't do it like this.
Allen: hmm? Ha ha! (slaps Hao Jian twice with his hand)
boxwood: I see you hitting once!
Allen: I'm back! Id card?
Shen Teng: Yes (I showed my ID card and put it back)!
Allen: as planned! Hide in the refrigerator!
Shen Teng: Hide the refrigerator! I'll give you your money back! (running to the back room while talking)
boxwood: Don't let me see you again (turning around while arguing)!
Allen: What's the matter, daughter-in-law? Have a fight with someone?
boxwood: no!
Allen: Ah.
boxwood: follow the dog!
Allen: (surprised) Can you argue with a dog?
Huang Yang: I'm chatting with children. I said baby, it's hard for your mother to have you. Don't forget your mother when you grow up. It barks at me!
Allen: You didn't bite it, did you?
boxwood: it didn't bite me. can I bite him first? Then I'm not unreasonable!
Allen: the atmosphere! (Thumbs up) Serve the dog with kindness!
boxwood: husband. (Deng Xiaoliang's wife is sitting on the sofa while Deng Xiaoliang massages her legs)
Allen: Huh?
Huang Yang: You said that if we leave one day, how lonely the child will be in the world!
Allen: (Stop massage and comfort his wife) Don't cry, don't cry, no, when we leave, take the children with us.
Huang Yang: (pushes Deng Xiaoliang away) You are a simpleton! Ah! (getting up) You look at people praising other people's husbands! It is said that your husband is really capable, your husband is really promising, your husband is really talented, praise me, your husband is really tall!
Allen: (smugly) Yes!
Huang Yang: Take off your apron for me. (Deng Xiaoliang took off her apron and put it on the sofa.) There are no grown-ups hanging around the kitchen table all day.
Allen: (tugging at the apron below) It's a little short around.
boxwood: pack your things and go back to your parents' house.
Allen: Huh? Wife?
boxwood & Allen: I ... (Just then the phone rings)
Allen: It's for me. (Sitting on the sofa and turning on the phone, his wife also sits on the sofa and is very sad) Hey!
Shen Teng: Hello? Is it dad?
Allen: Who is so polite? (The wife is also very puzzled)
Shen Teng: I am your future child. I want to visit your parents from 242 through time and space.
Huang Yang: (Angry, he picked up the phone receiver and quarreled with it) Liar! You can starve yourself to death if you cheat like this. (Allen also pretends to think it's funny)
Shen Teng: (opens the screen of TV props on the TV cabinet to show his head) Dad!
Allen: (plops down at Hao Jian and pretends to beg) Don't! Ancestors! You can take anything valuable from home except my daughter-in-law!
Huang Yang: (frozen, always on the phone) Especially after you take away the TV, I dare not watch it!
Shen Teng: (from the screen of TV props) Is this my home thirty years ago? How sweet!
boxwood: ah (fainting on the sofa)!
Allen: Ah! (Shake his wife) Wife! Wife! (Running to Hao Jian's side and questioning Hao Jian) I told you to hide in the refrigerator!
Shen Teng: Hide the refrigerator. Didn't I catch a cold?
Allen: (in a hurry) Then you can't come out of the TV either. Look, you are scared by my wife. (He runs to his wife again and shakes her fainted wife)
Shen Teng: Isn't it more penetrating to get out of TV?
Allen: (very unhappy, walking towards Hao Jian) Are you pretending to be May 4 here?
Shen Teng: Then Emperor Ama is hiding in the refrigerator, and he is cold!
Allen: what's wrong with my TV?
Shen Teng: No, I changed it for you when I stepped on the spot this morning.
boxwood: (wakes up) Husband!
Allen: Wife (running to his wife while talking, and her wife gets up from the sofa).
Shen Teng: (kneeling in front of Deng Xiaoliang's wife) Mom! Don't be afraid! I am a child in your belly.
Huang Yang: (kneeling in front of Hao Jian) I believe it! (Pointing to the TV prop) Put it back on first.
Shen Teng: (kneeling in front of Deng Xiaoliang's wife) No, mom! I managed to get through it.
Allen: (When his wife fainted again, Deng Xiaoliang beckoned his wife and held her back with his arm, and Hao Jian knelt down again) Wife! Don't faint until you hear him out. (Woke up again, sitting on the sofa, holding Deng Xiaoliang's clothes tightly with both hands and putting her upper teeth against her lower lip)
Shen Teng: Mom! (Turning to the audience) For thirty years, I have been looking for the starting point of my life. The purpose of my visit is to see what kind of great woman (turning to Deng Xiaoliang's wife) can give birth to me.
boxwood: (some horrified) Accidental pregnancy!
Allen: Hey ~ Well, you said you were my son. What's your name?
Shen Teng: Dad, get up now. I'll call you whatever you want.
Allen: Eyeballs!
Shen Teng: Dad! Think twice. Every hasty decision you make concerns my future. Give me a personal name!
Allen: Just eyeballs (reaching out and pointing at Hao Jian)!
Shen Teng: Mom, my ID card! (Handing the ID card to Deng Xiaoliang's wife, Deng Xiaoliang takes back her arm)
Huang Yang: (Looking at the ID card, I read it carefully with my eyes wide open, and Deng Xiaoliang is also looking at the ID card) Deng Yan Zhu Zi!
Allen: (opens his mouth in surprise, then covers his mouth with his hand and releases it) It's my son! No (slaps his wife on the stomach with his hand)
Shen Teng: Ah! (Pretending to be in pain, she covers her stomach with her hand, and Deng Xiaoliang's wife slaps her stomach, and Hao Jian covers her face again)! Mom! (Looking back and taking out a lipstick from his coat pocket) Stop fighting. My mother and I are really (drawing a line on the left corner of the mouth with lipstick, which looks like the corner of the mouth is bleeding) ... bone-flesh-phase-even!
Huang Yang: (Deng Xiaoliang gives a thumbs up happily behind his wife) Deng Xiaoliang (looking back at Deng Xiaoliang, Deng Xiaoliang immediately recovers, and his wife quarrels), you have gone too far!
Allen: Wife, (I thought my wife saw through the scam and grabbed her arm to explain) Listen to me and explain to you!
Huang Yang: (pointing to Deng Xiaoliang) You don't pass on such high merits (hitting Deng Xiaoliang and Deng Xiaoliang dodging) to your son!
Allen: it's my fault! (covering his face with his hand)
boxwood: Baby!
Shen Teng: Mom (croaking, Deng Xiaoliang feels like goose bumps)!
Huang Yang: (sad) Mom has been imagining what you will grow up to be. Mom overestimates you (stroking Hao Jian's cheek).
Shen Teng: Hey ... Mommy! (Hao Jian is hugging Deng Xiaoliang's wife)
Allen: Alas, alas, alas, apart (pushing away Hao Jian and his wife), you will crush you as a child again (pointing to his wife's stomach).
Shen Teng: I don't want to (hug Deng Xiaoliang's wife again). I want my mother to hug me like this and never part.
Allen: Break up! (pulling Hao Jian's hair by hand and pulling Hao Jian away)
boxwood: You separate! (Holding Deng Xiaoliang's hair by hand and pulling Deng Xiaoliang away) Baby, tell mom what our family will be like in the future.
Shen Teng: My future dad is amazing. He is a great entrepreneur!
boxwood: really (a little surprised)?
Shen Teng: He's on the American clothing list.
Allen: Forbes!
Shen Teng: Yes ... Forbes was on it later, so how could he be on my dad? My dad's burly "Mao" kicked him off again!
Huang Yang: Honey, you really didn't let me down.
Allen: Hey. I have repeatedly stressed that how can a woman win the world if she breaks her promise (tugging at her collar three times with her hand)!
Huang yang: son, what do you do now?
Shen Teng: (frozen, silent for a moment) huh? (Looking back at Deng Xiaoliang again and whispering) Dad, we haven't discussed it before (wiping our faces)?
Allen: (a little embarrassed, whispering) What to discuss? Just say it casually. Your mother doesn't know anyway.
Shen Teng: I was rubbing ... (Hao Jiangang wanted to finish, only to see Deng Xiaoliang push Hao Jian) Mud ... (Deng Xiaoliang pushed Hao Jian) Grey ... (Deng Xiaoliang pushed Hao Jian again) Gather the ashes together ... (Deng Xiaoliang pushed Hao Jian again) I-I-I am engaged in the study of human epidermis.
Huang Yang: (Claps his hand and suddenly realizes) Ouch (points to Deng Xiaoliang), a medical student!
Shen Teng: Human Epidermal Fouling!
Huang Yang: Ouch, Mom listened to so many prenatal music for nothing (somewhat disappointed)!
Shen Teng: It's not a waste of time. I always give someone a drum set after removing dirt! (Say, just imitate the action of patting people on the back in the bathhouse, and then point to the front) Come on, eldest brother, take a look at the hand (Deng Xiaoliang pushes Hao Jian to the ground and Hao Jian raises his head)! Well, the first ... card, I am the leader in the band, the number one card.
Allen: Ha ha ha ha! (Hao Jian sits back on the sofa)
boxwood: Oh, my God, you startled me. I thought he was taking a bath! Hahaha!
Allen: My son is both civil and military, so follow me (very proud)!
Huang Yang: Honey, you are great!
Shen Teng: He is great mainly because he has a good buddy around him (also very proud)!
Huang Yang: Good buddies are so important. Your dad is not successful now, and he is dragged down by good buddies. Especially that Hao Jian.
Shen Teng: (surprised) Who?
boxwood: Hao Jian!
Shen Teng: (getting up from the sofa) Hao Jian ... isn't uncle my dad's best friend (confused)?
boxwood: Hey ...
Allen: Wife, I forbid you to sow discord between my buddies and me!
boxwood: didn't you say it yourself (confused)? He said that he felt sick at the sight of Hao Jian (Hao Jian looked angry at this time and put his hand over his chest). He also said that Hao Jian looks like a person, but he never works in personnel. Your father also said ...
Allen: wife (Hao Jian sits on the sofa and continues to put his hand over his chest when interrupting his wife)!
boxwood: Say ...
Allen: Go, there is half a cucumber left in the refrigerator.
boxwood: hmm.
Allen: stir-fry four dishes for the children.
boxwood: oh (walks into the kitchen).
Shen Teng: Your family is very extravagant in entertaining guests!
Allen: Come and hurry! Give me a hand (Hao Jian and Deng Xiaoliang moved the fake TV props away and hid them, and moved the real TV back to the TV cabinet. The remote controller was accidentally knocked off, and Hao Jian picked it up and put it back on the TV cabinet)! You're done! Let's go.
Shen Teng: (angrily) Wait a minute, what did you just say about me? Say I look like a person, but I never do anything. Let me ask you something! Why do I look like a person? Ah, no (lowering his head and covering his face with his hands, and then raising his head after thinking), what makes you say that I look like a person (pointing to Deng Xiaoliang, lowering his head and covering his face with his hands)? You are angry with me!
Allen: Do you take it to heart if you coax my wife? (takes out a hundred dollars from his pocket) Here, here's a hundred dollars, mental damage compensation!
Shen Teng: Which mental illness is valued with 1 yuan?
Allen: No, are you finished? You have to go (trying to push Hao Jian out, but you accidentally knocked down Hao Jian)!
Shen Teng: ouch! You give me a big fall! (Shouting to the kitchen) Mom! Mom!
Allen: alas, alas! What are you doing? Huh? Don't ... (in a hurry)
boxwood: (coming out of the kitchen with a bottle of white wine in his hand) What's the matter? (Surprised, he walks quickly to Hao Jian and asks) What's the matter, baby? Oh, this, this, this, this ...
Allen: Son, what are you doing? How cold it is on the ground! Get up quickly (pretending to be innocent, very confused, and picking up Hao Jian by hand)!
Shen Teng: Dad! (hugging Deng Xiaoliang) I came here this time, (very sad, crying) just to see you again (patted Deng Xiaoliang three times with my hand) 1
Huang Yang: What happened to your father (very surprised)?
Shen Teng: My future dad, (who grabbed one hundred yuan from Deng Xiaoliang and said after glancing at one hundred yuan), had a heart attack because of this (putting money in his pocket, Deng Xiaoliang watched Hao Jian put money in his pocket, and Hao Jian looked at Deng Xiaoliang's wife and said). That heart, a bypass (waving a hand)! The doctor was shocked when he finished filming (pretending to be holding the film, and Deng Xiaoliang and his wife looked at the nonexistent film and said). Isn't this the famous Xizhimen overpass?
boxwood: ah (surprised, cover your mouth with your hand)!
Shen Teng: (Hao Jian picks up Deng Xiaoliang's apron from the sofa and Deng Xiaoliang tries to stop Hao Jian) Don't stop me! Mom, in the long corridor of the hospital, your echo is floating in the middle of the night every day. (Glancing at Deng Xiaoliang's apron) You just take my dad's apron and shake it there all the time, husband, husband, husband,