In 2017, a photographer born in the 1990s had a toothache,

started the series "Wrinkled Fog",

solicited photos on Weibo that were affected by depression.

Take photos of sleepy people for free and record their stories.

The vast majority of participants are girls.

So far, he has photographed more than 100 women.

Most of the people photographed are born in the 1990s and 2000s.

The youngest was born in 2004.

Most of them were injured in childhood or youth, and

their parents neglected to care about their mental health.

In the future, Toothache hopes that more people of different ages and genders will participate in this project.

He said, "I want to really encourage everyone to face themselves.

This is a sexual issue."

And in Exhibited in Xiamen Three Shadows, Paris Grand Palais and other places.

Toothache said that he actually never thought he would be able to shoot for so long.

For him, who has suffered from depression since high school,

“The initial starting point was to express myself, and then slowly,

It has become a kind of mutual help, sustenance and companionship.”

Ichijo met with Toothache in Hangzhou,

and talked about his story with the 100 girls under his lens.

The 100th girl

This girl’s name is Yaya, a native of Nanjing, and she is 23 years old. She suffered from depression during her freshman year of high school, the year her grandfather passed away.

She was brought up by her grandfather since she was a child. My parents were doing business in another city, but they only brought my younger brother with them. In Yaya's view, they were a regular family of three, and he was the one alone.

In 2013, my grandfather passed away suddenly. She began to live alone at home, going to school, eating and living alone.

She may only be able to see her parents a few times a year, and there is little communication between them. She remembered that her brother was in love early and his parents would make fun of him. But they never cared about her life, they only paid her monthly living expenses.

When she was in high school, her classmates all said they envied her and said she was the richest person in the class. But she saw that others would come to pick her up after their evening self-study, and the parent-teacher conferences were attended by people from other families. She was always alone.

Yaya filming scene

When her illness was at its most serious, she underwent electroconvulsive therapy 10 times in a month and a half. She said that it felt a bit like deleting people's memories in science fiction movies, and the whole person became empty.

A week before the operation, she was very emotional because of taking medicine, so she talked about her need for surgery on social networks. She told me, “At that time, I really hoped that someone would send me a private message or call me to ask me what was wrong.” Thinking about it now, she feels particularly ashamed.

Her parents actually knew about her illness, but they didn’t take it seriously and didn’t quite understand what depression was. They thought it was just like a cold and they would get better.

When we were filming this year, Yaya was in good condition and very stable. But this made her very scared, afraid that sooner or later that kind of collapse would come to her again.

This is also the reason why she applied to participate in the filming of "Wrinkled Fog", because she wanted to record her current state. She said something that touched me very much - "This way when I collapse next time, I can remember that I was sober and that I was better."

Yaya is the 100th film I have taken. I am a girl. I have been filming the project "Wrinkled Fog" for 3 years. I have met too many young people like Yaya who are trapped in depression.

The starting point is myself

The starting point for photographing people with depression is actually myself.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was in high school.

In my senior year of high school, I really wanted to be a soldier, but I couldn't do it because of my health. Later, I wanted to study physical education, but my parents thought there was no future and wouldn't let me go. They forced me to study for another year as a senior in high school. At that time, I felt out of breath every day and had no interest in anything.

One day I thought this was a disease, so I went to see a psychiatrist behind my parents’ back.

I remember that the doctor was very surprised when he saw me, because in my hometown in Shanxi, people didn’t have much awareness about mental health, let alone minors.

At that time, I was only mildly depressed, so I used my pocket money to buy and take medicine by myself, which lasted until I went to college.

It wasn’t until the past few years that I slowly started to tell my family, but they just said they knew about it and didn’t take it too seriously. They thought I was just a little stressed at most and would slowly get better. Get better yourself.

Toothache talks about the public’s misunderstandings about depression

Just like my family, the public still has many misunderstandings about depression.

So when my depression recurred in 2017, I wanted to express this emotion seriously - it envelopes you like a fog, making you unable to break away, but elusive. , appears and disappears. I named this project "Wrinkled Fog".

From the very beginning, I conducted an open solicitation on Weibo, and more than 300 people contacted me one after another. So far, I have photographed more than 100 people trapped in depression in one day. .

The girls who come to me look very happy on the surface

In fact, when I was recruiting, I did not restrict age and gender, but almost all of the people who came to me were young. female. The oldest is in his 30s, the youngest was born in 2004, and most of them are born in the 90s and 00s.

This group is most willing to show and express themselves. In my opinion, this state is good. Because only by facing this problem head-on and being willing to communicate can we slowly come out of it.

Toothache and the scene when the girls first met

Most of these girls were moderately depressed, and there were quite a few severe ones, but when they came to me, on the surface, they were depressed. They all looked very happy.

They want others to think they are living a good life so much that they never take the initiative to say that they have depression. In addition to thinking that others will not understand, there are other reasons.

A girl who impressed me deeply, Xiao Yi, sat alone on a hard seat for more than ten hours and traveled from Shijiazhuang to Wuhan to find me to photograph. Since she was a child, only her sister and grandmother had taken care of her, but no one told her when she fell ill. She said her sister was married and her grandma was in poor health, so she didn't want to cause trouble to them.

When shooting, I always chat with them first, and sometimes I shoot while chatting, hoping to show their truest appearance and record their truest emotions.

Xiaomeng came to me from Hainan to take the photo in 2018. At that time, she was telling her story, and she couldn’t help but cry while she was telling it, so I took this photo. She studied psychology herself, but she still couldn't heal herself.

For this picture of Ruirui, I let her release her emotions in her own living space, without worrying about the camera, I went to capture it.

What makes them trapped in depression

After photographing so many young girls with depression, I feel that the sexual problem for most of them is their family of origin.

The first is that parents are divorced. Many parents hide the divorce from their children until the children find out one day, and they will be severely shocked.

Also, after parents divorce and start a new family, they will pay less attention to their children.

This girl Annie, her parents divorced because her father cheated on her and brought the cheating partner to her home. Often her parents would leave after quarreling in the middle of the night, leaving her alone at home.

Once a thief came in, and she hid there without speaking. Later, she told her mother that her mother only replied, "Just lock the windows next time."

The second is domestic violence. Gege's father is a civil servant. He looks like a good man outside, but when he comes home, he will beat her and her mother. She said that her biggest ideal in life is to have her own house, a safe place that belongs to her.

She has been depressed since high school, but no one in their small county cared about it, so she has never received treatment.

The third is sexual assault. When I filmed Fly in 2018, she was still in high school. She has been harassed and violated by relatives since she was a child, but her parents have never cared about this problem.

She is extremely insecure and always feels that others are spying on her and want to do something to her. So when I was shooting, I placed a few mannequins in raincoats around her, and she looked helplessly at the camera in the middle.

In addition to the family of origin, emotional experience is also an important factor.

The most common thing is that a boy cheats on her. This happened to the first girl I photographed. She has been with her ex for a long time, has been living together, and is very dependent on him. I asked her to write down some of the words she wanted to express on paper and wrap them around her body, which was a kind of vent.

The girl’s letter I shot recently was also about breaking up with her boyfriend when she was in college because she found out that she was having an affair with someone else. As a result, the boy blocked her door every day and harassed her, which made her very hurt.

There are also body problems and verbal violence.

Yingzi is a student in my photography class. She has always had low self-esteem because of her figure. I always wear a mask, don't talk to others, and am often alone.

One day she suddenly told me that she wanted to participate in the shooting. She said that she was crying while looking at the photos I took at home. She felt very touched and wanted to show herself bravely.

Lin Lin is now a model, but she was fat before and was ridiculed by others on campus. A boy she liked before said to her, "You like me, which makes me feel embarrassed."

In the photo, I asked her to cover her ears in an environment wrapped in plastic sheeting, hoping to block some outside sounds.

Most of these girls were hurt in childhood or youth, and the shadows left behind have always followed them. Because when they were growing up, no one helped them or asked them what they were thinking.

In making this series, I not only want the public to understand depression, but also want some parents to reflect on their own lack of psychological education for their children.

"Wrinkled Fog" on display at Xiamen Three Shadows

Mutual aid, sustenance and companionship

From 2017 to 2020, I actually had no I never thought I could shoot for so long.

In the future, I really hope that more people of different ages and genders can participate in this project to encourage more people to face their emotions, because this is a sexual issue.

Some girls will send me messages when they are in the most difficult time, saying that I have toothache and I can’t stand it. I said you must stick to it, because we haven't filmed yet, and this is a big sustenance for them.

Many girls I have photographed will use the photos I took as their profile pictures. When I do the exhibition, they can still see some of their own states at the scene. I think this is also a longer-term companionship.

I keep in touch with most of them. Sometimes I check their Moments and see that most of them are developing in a positive direction and want to get out of that state. This is actually a problem for me. kind of encouragement.

Our help is mutual. They are still persisting, and I will continue to shoot.

*The girls who participated in the filming of "Wrinkled Fog" in the article are all pseudonyms.

Ren Ke has suffered from domestic violence since childhood and was diagnosed with severe depression and moderate to severe anxiety disorder in early 2018. After being diagnosed, not only did she not receive understanding and support from her family, but she was scolded by her father, saying "having a daughter like you is the greatest shame in my life."

During those days, her friends’ constant care and encouragement gave her hope. She started by sharing her depression recovery diary, and slowly founded the "Depression Research Institute", a community for depression patients, focusing on mental and psychological public education.

Ichijo chatted with Ren Ke about the current situation of depression in China and some basic self-help knowledge. Below are highlights from the interview.

Q: Ichi A: Ren Ke

Q: What is the current overall situation of depression in my country?

A: According to data from the World Health Organization, the number of patients with depression in my country has reached 90 million, with an incidence rate as high as 5 to 6, and has been increasing year by year in recent years. Due to insufficient medical resources in the mental health field, the recognition rate of mental health diseases such as depression is only 21%. Nearly 80% of patients with depression have not been "discovered", and 90% of patients with depression have not received professional treatment. This is related to the lack of professional psychiatric specialists in many towns and the relatively expensive treatment costs for depression.

According to our latest survey in 2020, 72% of patients were diagnosed before the age of 25, and most of them developed depressive symptoms after the onset of adolescence. The lifetime prevalence of depression among adolescents has reached 15-20%.

Q: What are the main causes of depression? What are the main symptoms of depression?

A: There are many factors that lead to depression, which vary from person to person. Generally, the causes of minors are more concentrated and easier to judge. But regardless of age, family-related problems are the number one cause of illness self-reported by patients. Emotional problems and traumatic experiences are also common sources of depression.

Each patient may have different symptoms, but the main symptoms are long-term, persistent and stable depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities of daily interest, lack of energy, and some additional symptoms such as Inferior self-esteem, unreasonable self-blame, etc. Adolescents aged 13-19 are prone to extreme behaviors, negative attitudes, and refusal to communicate.

Q: What impact does depression have on patients’ work and life?

A: According to our big data survey, most patients said that it is difficult to continue working and their lives have become unstable as the things that have the greatest impact on them. Because cognitive dysfunction is widely present in patients with depression, especially executive and attentional dysfunction.

A large part of the minor patients we come into contact with have been forced to take a leave of absence from school. Due to the long course of depression and its easy relapse, they may not be able to continue their studies and return to normal life for several years.

Q: Why do many patients with depression choose to hide their illness?

A: When investigating why patients are unwilling to talk, we found that "fear of others not understanding" and "fear of being discriminated against" are still important reasons why patients cannot speak out. Therefore, in addition to correct popular science knowledge about the disease and scientific treatment methods, the public context also has a significant impact on patients with depression. Stigma and shame will reduce their help-seeking rate and treatment compliance, affect their recovery, and even lead to suicide.

According to our survey, only about 35% of patients said they received better treatment after diagnosis. 52% of patients said that few people can help them when they encounter difficulties.

"Getting support from friends" is the primary reason why patients feel their condition has improved. "Family" is an important reason that affects the course of depression patients.

Q: What are the treatments for depression?

A: You must find a professional doctor for diagnosis and treatment, and try to choose a hospital where the local mental health center is listed.

Medication is the first step of treatment. Do not stop taking medication without permission. As long as you don't increase the dosage at will, antidepressants are not addictive. Experts recommend taking medication for 6-18 months for the first episode, 2-3 years for the second episode, and lifelong medication for the third episode and beyond.

Be sure to stabilize first before assisting with psychological treatment. After professional psychological consultation, at least 75% of people can improve their symptoms. The current average price in the psychological counseling market is 400-800 yuan/hour. There are also some public psychological counseling services, such as the national hotline 1235400-161-9995, the online 525 Psychological Network, Yidianling, and the Depression Research Institute. The official account popularizes science knowledge and has established many online communities.

As far as the patients themselves are concerned, the three common misunderstandings of locking them up, lying down, and crying out are actually useless. Exercise to treat depression is an effective therapy that has been proven by scientific research. There are also some relatively simple and feasible treatments, such as reading, diary, movies and music. Secondly, whole-wheat bread, small desserts, pumpkin, bananas, chocolate and milk are also foods that can provide necessary nutrients to the brain and help the brain effectively alleviate depression.

Q: How to help friends/family members who are depressed?

A: You can try the following methods.

Understand the symptoms of depression;

Encourage patients to take active treatment;

Be wary of their extreme thoughts, such as suicide;

Affirm them Do not deny or criticize their positive aspects;

Make plans and invite him/her to do things together without forcing them;

Listen carefully to what they have to say, but avoid offering opinions. or making judgments, simply listening and understanding can be a powerful healing tool.

Picture provided by Toothache