Comparison of the customs of entertaining guests in the East and the West

Countries in the world, both in the East and the West, have the custom of entertaining guests. Banquet, as the name suggests, means treating guests to a meal. In people's social interactions, from government officials to common people, banquets will be held in various forms whenever circumstances require. It can be seen that entertaining guests is an important part of people's social interactions.

1. The social function of banquets

The importance of banquets is determined by its social functions. The reason why people want to treat guests to dinner is because it has the function of connecting feelings and easing interpersonal relationships. When people sit together, drink wine, and taste delicious food, the distance between them shrinks, their feelings get closer, their relationship becomes closer, and things become easier to handle. The Chinese people feel particularly deeply about this. Mr. Qian Zhongshu said in a question in "Eating": "Eating has many social functions, such as connecting relationships, discussing business, etc... If you give food to those who have food for you, then treat yourself to food; To eat other people's food when you have something to eat is to give face. The subtlety of communication is nothing more than this. "Hu Ping also said in the article "Confessions of a Gourmet": "Is it okay not to eat? Harmony is reflected on the wine table: no matter how stingy the person is, he will become generous, and the sophisticated person will become a gentleman. The heat and fragrance are busy weaving a rosy color on people's faces, which makes people look a few years younger. It's a psychological effect; the network has been extended a few times, which is a considerable effect." Recently, some people have used the form of limericks to ridicule some improper banquet activities. The saying "If you lift the chopsticks, it's okay; if you hold the wine glass, it's easy to handle" is a bit cliché, but it does hit the point.

When we criticize some improper banquet activities, we should also realize that its function of connecting emotions and smoothing interpersonal relationships should not be underestimated. This is fully reflected in banquet activities in various countries around the world. For example, the United States is a country with developed business. Naturally, we cannot do business without business relationships. Whether the stability of the business relationship of a company, an enterprise, or a store is the key to its success or failure. If the director of the department does not bend here to build and stabilize this relationship, he will be in great trouble. It is no wonder that various business departments now have public relations departments, and some business schools also have public relations courses. It is for this reason that banquets or entertainment are plentiful in the United States or any other business society. They don't have to eat or drink, but such activities are essential. The American Etiquette Emily Post is Ettiquette devotes a chapter to introducing this type of liturgical activity. When Book Seed A saw the purpose of this kind of banquet, he said this:

To express gratitude for providing services;

To celebrate a deal just concluded

Win the trust of customers or new customers;

Discuss problems encountered by colleagues;

Get to know someone better;

Ask for help;

Suggest or discuss ideas;

Introduce others;

Get out of the office and take a break.

The Chinese are developing a socialist market economy, with more and more commercial activities, and various types of entertainment are inevitable, but the main form of entertainment is still eating and drinking activities. It is wrong to use public funds to eat and drink, but necessary entertainment cannot be omitted. Therefore, such activities must be regulated and carried out in an orderly and appropriate manner.

In order to connect feelings and smoothen interpersonal relationships, not only official banquets are held, such as hosting banquets to entertain visiting foreign guests or domestic guests; other industry departments also hold celebration activities, such as hosting business banquets mentioned above. Customers in order to maintain good business relationships; ordinary people in the name of oil smoke celebration activities.

According to the Chinese custom, if one's close friends, friends or acquaintances have not seen each other for a long time, they will find a time to get together for a drink and talk to each other about old stories or friendships. This kind of banquet between relatives and friends has an affinity effect. Through this form, the established interpersonal relationships are further strengthened. Common people support, help, and take care of each other. In order to express their agreement, people will hold banquets. There are visitors in every house. For important guests coming from afar, Chinese people usually prepare wine and banquets to "receive the guests from the wind and wash away the dust". When guests are leaving, or relatives and friends are traveling far away, people have to give them a "farewell". In fact, this kind of banquet activities are also held in other countries, but they are just the same. There are also some big events or activities in the lives of ordinary people, such as weddings and funerals, children's birthdays, baby's full moon, promotions or housewarmings, and banquets are also indispensable. The banquets held for such events are obviously celebratory. At this point, China and English-speaking countries are basically the same. Wedding banquets, birthday banquets, housewarming banquets, etc. are all held in the East and the West, and there may be big differences in the methods. As for banquets held for funerals, they mainly refer to the elderly among Chinese people. When they die, they are considered to be in mourning. This is what the Chinese term "happy and happy events" means. When an elderly person dies, descendants often entertain the guests attending the funeral in order to show their filial piety. This is a traditional practice of the Chinese people. In China's small towns and vast rural areas, families who do this rarely hold funeral banquets. If a middle-aged or young person dies suddenly due to illness, injury, natural disaster or man-made disaster, no banquet will be held.

2. The banquet situation and norms in English-speaking countries

Although a banquet means inviting people to eat, there are also different forms. This is particularly evident in English-speaking countries. Roughly speaking, they have eight forms of banquets.

Seated dinners

Buffet dinners

Luncheons

Receptions receptions)

Cocktail parties;

Dinner parties (BYOB and BYOF=Bring your own bottles and bring your own food);

Picnics ( picnics)

tea parties (Zhu Meiping, 1995).

Although the above-mentioned banquet forms can be found in China, banquets, receptions and dinner parties with seats are more popular in our country, which is not the kind of Westerners who bring their own drinks and food. It is a way for everyone to enjoy together, and more often the canteen of the unit makes some delicious food during holidays and sells it to everyone at a low price. Individuals buy some drinks, and colleagues get together to enjoy together. Fan.

The form people take when hosting a banquet generally depends on the identity of the guest, the purpose the host wants to achieve, and his convenience. In official international exchanges, a state banquet is held to entertain visiting heads of state; entertaining business clients or people with various business relationships; entertaining relatives, friends or colleagues; entertaining anyone else who needs entertainment; some Banquets should be conducted in a standardized manner, and some may depend on the specific circumstances. Those that should be formal should be formal, and those that should be casual should be casual. The important thing is to achieve the purpose of the banquet.

In American business activities, lunch is often used. Some managers have lunch appointments almost every day. This kind of banquet is usually arranged in a restaurant that is more convenient for the host and guests, and a quiet table is reserved in advance.

If you want to discuss business with guests, you need a quieter place. This working lunch usually lasts about an hour. Although it is less strict now, it should be no more than one and a half and two hours at most. If people have the habit of drinking cocktails before meals, it is more appropriate to drink one glass. Of course, it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to drink. If the guest wants to double the amount, you don't have to make any further concessions, but you can ask for a drink such as orange juice or mineral water instead. If your guests still want to continue drinking, you can politely say: "Maybe we should order, it's getting late." Lunch will be more casual, and even if you entertain a lot of guests, there will be few seating arrangements.

In American business activities, another way of entertaining guests is a business dinner. It is not as frequent and convenient as lunch, but it is also used from time to time. When some managers are too busy to schedule lunch appointments, dinners are served. Such banquets are often attended by several people, all dedicated to the same cause. Guests must be notified in advance of the banquet. This is usually done by the manager's secretary. She can call the guest or write a text message. If you don’t have a secretary, you have to do it yourself. However, it should be noted that such banquets generally do not include family members. Also book a quieter table at a convenient restaurant or book a private room. Hosts must arrive early to greet guests, introduce people they don't know, and arrange seats for them. Arrange the guest or host with the highest status to sit on the right side of the host, and those with the next highest status sit on the left. The rest sit casually. If there is no difference in level, the host can say: "Everyone, please sit down wherever you like." After the guests have arrived, the host starts to order drinks. Drinking before meals is generally limited to one or two drinks. If someone wants a third cup, we can't stop him. But don’t ask for another drink for each guest at this time. It would be embarrassing to ask for a bottle of wine and not let the guest drink it. If the host wants wine, it is best to have a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white wine for the guests to choose freely according to their own habits or tastes. Drinking is followed by eating. A formal dinner usually consists of six courses: soup, fish, main course (meat and vegetables), salad, dessert (pudding, cake, ice cream, etc.) and coffee or tea. Sometimes, people also include fish as a main course. Of course, it is generally up to the guests to order what to eat. This type of business dinner is often held in conjunction with other events. For example, invite guests to dance, watch opera, listen to music or watch a football match after dinner. In New York, some clients are theater fans, and it is of course the most pleasant thing to invite them to watch high-level opera performances on Broadway. In the southern city of New Orleans, some clients like jazz music, and it would also be very happy to invite them to spend a beautiful evening in the French Quarter.

There is also a traditional way of entertaining guests in the American business community, which is to invite their business clients to a country club not far from the town to play golf or tennis, swim or organize other sports activities. There are usually two approaches: the host invites the guests to arrive at the country club in the morning, play golf or tennis, have lunch, and then go back to the house to continue working in the office or go home. Another approach is for the host and the guest to work in the morning, and then make an appointment to drive to the country club *** for lunch together or separately, and then play golf or tennis after the meal.

Some banquets in the American business community mentioned above are limited to people related to business activities, and family members are excluded.

But in fact, family members are also invited to some business banquets. For example, business customers and their families from other places come to the town where the host lives for sightseeing; the host wants to establish a closer relationship with a certain customer; the host holds a formal banquet or dance, which requires both husband and wife to participate; the business relationship between the host and himself The person has become a good friend and wants to share this friendship with himself and his friend's relatives; the owner is a company owner and he wants to deepen the mutual understanding with his employees. Under all the above circumstances, it is inevitable to invite family members to the banquet. Generally, business banquets attended by family members are mostly arranged in the evening and held in restaurants outside, but sometimes guests are also entertained at home. Banquets at home often make guests feel relaxed and at home.

But at an official banquet, this is necessary. The names of arriving guests are generally announced by service personnel.

At a very formal banquet, when guests arrive, a servant is at the door to greet them and take their coats. The hostess stood at the door of the living room, smiling, shaking hands with the guests and extending her welcome. Of course, she has to say something like: "I am very glad to see you." (I am very glad to see you), "I am so glad that you could come!" (I am very glad that you can come) and other enthusiastic words. . The male host interacts with other guests who have already arrived. Once he discovers a new guest, he apologizes to the others and immediately comes over to welcome the newly arrived guest. Most banquets are not this formal. The host and hostess usually stand near the living room. When they heard the doorbell ringing, the couple stepped forward to greet the guests. If the host is serving cocktails to the guests, he will bring the new guests their favorite drinks, or ask the waiter to take care of their drinks. Naturally, the hostess will introduce the new guests to other strangers.

If there are cocktails to entertain guests before the meal, the formal banquet should be held at least one hour later than the time stated on the invitation. If guests are not allowed to drink anything before the meal, the banquet should start 20 minutes later because late guests need some time to rest. During this short period of time, the hostess may sneak into the kitchen to check on the preparation of the meal, but her absence should be as short as possible.

For guests who do not arrive on time, the host can generally wait for 15 minutes according to regulations, which means that the banquet can start a quarter of an hour later. It is considered rude to wait for a late guest for more than 20 minutes when entertaining outside. When the arriving guest finally arrives at the restaurant, he must go up to the hostess and apologize to her. At this time, the hostess does not have to stand up. If a female guest is late, the hostess only needs to quickly shake hands with the guest, but all other men do not need to stand up to greet the guest. Of course, the host cannot blame the guest, but he should say some polite words, such as: "I an so sorry that you had such a bad drive, but I was sure you would not want us to wait for dinner." Sorry for you. I know you don't want us to wait for you.) Late guests also have to eat the same dish as other guests. If it happens to be something sweet, the hostess will tell the waiter to bring the guest a large plate of entree from the kitchen.

Generally speaking, the hostess must tell the waiter in advance when the banquet will be announced. At a very formal banquet, when he saw that the water glass was full and the candles were lit, he walked into the living room and whispered to the hostess: "Dinner is serced." (It's time to start.) Or at this time , the hostess happened to look at the waiter serving in the restaurant, she nodded to signal to her, and the hostess announced: "Dinner is ready. Shall we go in?" (The meal is ready, let's go in.) When a guest When you are still drinking cocktails and cannot leave immediately, the hostess will tell the waiter when to start, and the waiter will tell the chef. Sometimes, some guests enjoy the cocktail hour and don’t want to go in for a meal. At a large banquet, when the guests gathered around and talked with each other, the guests remained still even after the banquet was announced. At this time, the hostess will mobilize the guests to enter the restaurant and take their seats.

The male host led the female guest of honor into the restaurant and asked her to sit on his right. If it is an informal banquet, the hostess is always the last to enter the restaurant. But that's a different matter when the president or governor of the United States is the guest of honor at a banquet. In this special case, the hostess will lead the male guest to his seat, and the male host will lead the wife of the president or governor to his seat. Then other guests took their seats. After entering the restaurant, guests can take a seat according to the seating card with their name written on it. If there is no such instruction card, the guest has to wait for the hostess's arrangements.

The female guests sit down as soon as they find their seats, but the hostess has to stand until everyone has found theirs. Of course, before taking a seat, a man should hold the chair for the woman on his right. The male guest should sit down after the hostess is seated. The male guest of honor should accompany the hostess into the restaurant, but he should take care of the female guest on his right to sit down; while the male guest on the left of the hostess should take care of the female guest to sit down.

When a formal banquet is held, the order of serving dishes is very particular. The usual practice is that every time a dish is served, the female guest of honor starts the dish, and then the dishes are served to the guests in a counter-clockwise direction, with the male host waiting until the end. If there is only a hostess at the banquet, the lady to the right of the host should start serving food. It is important to note that the hostess should never be served first; it would be extremely rude to do so.

Generally speaking, it is best to fill the water glasses at a Western-style restaurant before guests take their seats. If this is not done, the waiter can wait until the guests are seated before filling each water glass. Then, the waiter poured wine for each guest, still following the order of serving dishes mentioned above. Usually he has to politely say: "Wine, sir (or Madam)?" (Sir or Madam, do you want wine?) The waiter has to pour the wine on the right side of the guest and cannot pick up the cup.

As soon as the soup is served, the bread in a plate or basket is passed around to everyone. The bread used at this banquet comes in several different styles, such as croissants, thin bread, and shortbread made of rye or whole wheat. If the bread is not enough, you can add more. When serving food, the waiter should hold the bottom of the tray flat with his left hand. If it is a hot dish, put a napkin under the plate to avoid burning your hands. If it is a large oval plate, it needs to be served with both hands. Each dish has matching cutlery. In addition, there are large spoons and forks on the dining table for guests to use when taking dishes.

Finally, when the hostess saw that the last sweet dish had been used up, she slowly stood up, and the guests also left their seats and returned to the living room. In the past, after a meal, men and women always went to separate rooms to drink coffee or smoke. Today, some extended families still do this when holding formal banquets. But the more popular approach is that the host will suggest that the male guest continue to sit at the table, drink a cup of light coffee (demitasse), brandy, or smoke a cigar. This was done mainly to take care of women, many of whom were disgusted by the smell of cigars. At the same time, the hostess took the female guests back to the living room and invited them to drink coffee, liqueur or smoke cigarettes. She will often suggest that female guests go to her room to freshen up. Usually two or three people will do this, and most people will continue to stay in the living room to have drinks or chat. A quarter of an hour or 20 minutes later, the male guest returns to the living room to join the female guest, and the host again offers liqueur or whiskey for the guests to enjoy.

Of course, it is up to the guests to say goodbye and go home. The old practice was that the first person to leave was the guest of honor. The other guests, no matter how late they are, have to wait there quietly for the movements of the male and female guests of honor. It often happened that the female guest of honor was sitting there, muttering: "Oh my God, these people are not going home!" Suddenly, she understood that she should say goodbye first. But today, the norms have changed a lot. As long as it's late, any couple can say goodbye first. It is now common practice for the valedictorian to rise from his seat, say goodbye to the guest he is talking to, then say goodbye to the guest of honor, and then find his hostess. They chatted with the host and hostess for a while, thanked them, and then took their leave.

The above mainly introduces the general practice of formal family banquets in English-speaking countries, mainly the United States. What should also be mentioned here is the main dishes and drinks of Western food.

Western food should have no more than six dishes, as mentioned above. It is important to note that salad should be served after the main course and before dessert. This is different from hosting guests in a restaurant. It is usually served as the first course in restaurants. Unless you are at an informal banquet and your guests would like the salad to be served first, it is better to serve the dishes in the order stated above. The dishes at a banquet should be as balanced as possible. For example, a greasy dish is best paired with a lighter dish. If the second course is buttered scallops, it might be better to have roasted baby pigeon or roasted lamb for the main course. Also pay attention to the color and flavor combination of the dishes.

A single shade or flavor is a no-no.

English-speaking countries are very particular when entertaining guests. Not only do they have a wide variety of wines, but they also have certain rules about when, what wine, and how to drink it. Generally speaking, you should drink a cocktail before a meal. It is appropriate for the host to offer two or three varieties of cocktails when entertaining guests. Cocktails are made. For example, the Old-fashioned drink that people often drink before meals is made of whiskey, ice, soda water, and bitters. While the banquet is in progress, the guests are asked to accompany their meals with wine. Generally, you start with sherry, but the first soup you serve should contain sherry. That is to say, sherry cannot be paired with cream of chicken soup or cream soup. It's okay if you serve black bean soup or green turtle soup. Sherry should first be placed in a narrow-necked glass bottle, and then poured into a V-shaped shot glass. Of course, this wine can also be drunk as a cocktail before a meal, or as a table wine with lunch or a meal. Guests should drink dry white wine with their fish or main course. Dry whites should be kept in the refrigerator for at least a few hours, or even days, before drinking because people like a cool taste. When eating red meat dishes at a banquet, such as steak or pork chops, duck or game, guests should drink red wine. Of course, at some less formal banquets, guests can drink wine from beginning to end. All red wines should be kept above the indoor temperature when drinking, but Burgundy wine (a red wine produced in the Burgundy region of France or similar wine produced in other regions) should be one or two degrees higher. . Champagne is a kind of drinking wine for special banquets. It is usually drunk when meat dishes are served. If it is the only wine on the table, serve it with the first course. If the champagne is not a fine variety, it should be kept in the refrigerator for a day and cooled down in a wine cooler before drinking. High-end champagne is generally cooled with ice. Glasses for serving champagne should have wide rims, thin glass, and tall stems. When using a wine glass, you should hold it by the neck. This allows the user to appreciate the color of the wine and maintain the appropriate temperature of the wine. If there is no waiter to serve the wine during the banquet, the host can open the bottle and place it in front of the guests for them to serve themselves. When there are many guests, two bottles of wine can be placed, and one bottle should be placed at each end of the table.

In the old days, it was impolite for a guest to refuse a certain dish prepared by the host when invited to a banquet. He should eat every dish, even if he doesn't like it. But some people are actually allergic to certain foods. So, today at a Western banquet, if he doesn’t want to eat a certain food, such as crab, he doesn’t have to eat it, but he needs to explain it to the host, lest the host mistakenly think that the reason for his refusal is the poor quality of the food. Therefore, at today's Western banquets, if a certain food is taboo, the guest can just say: "No, thank you." (I don't want it, thank you.) This has become a customary norm, and the host does not think it is Discourteous behavior.

Western countries such as the United Kingdom and the United States increasingly advocate a free and comfortable gathering without formal etiquette. Therefore, a buffet or semi-buffet style banquet is now popular. Buffet is called buffet dinner in English. When the host entertains guests, he puts the prepared food and various drinks on the dining table, and the guests can choose what they want. Guests put their favorite food on a plate, take their own drinks, find a place to sit or stand, and talk with others while eating and drinking. Buffets are popular for several obvious reasons. The first is that guests can move around and talk more casually. Secondly, there are many guests entertained. Since guests serve their own food, there is no need for anyone else to serve them. Buffets are divided into pure buffets or semi-buffets. In the former, after the guests pick up their own dishes, they can find a place to sit down at the banquet venue and enjoy the meal, and chat with other guests while eating. When doing a buffet, guests sit down to eat at one or several tables that have been set up in advance after picking up their dishes. A semi-buffet is more formal than a pure buffet, but it does not care about seating arrangements when dining, giving guests greater freedom of movement.

Lunch banquets are also a common social form in English-speaking countries.

There are two types of luncheons or lunch parties. One is business luncheons, which has been mentioned before; and the other is called social luncheons. People rarely use the word luncheon verbally. , more accustomed to using lunch. But in invitations written in the third person, people formally use luncheon. Usually, a social luncheon is a ladies' party, initiated by the hostess and inviting ladies to attend. If the luncheon is held on a weekend, men are invited, otherwise, it's a strictly women's event. Participants are mostly mothers, housewives, members of women's clubs or women who work part-time. Small luncheons were sometimes held at the house of the hostess. Large ones are mostly held in clubs, hotels or restaurants. If there are men at the luncheon, it will be especially light. If there are only women at the luncheon, the food will be much smaller, but it will need to be beautifully cooked and attractive. Pre-dinner cocktails include sherry, tomato-based cocktails or daiquiris. Of course, there should also be tomato or fruit juice drinks on hand for those ladies who don’t drink. Luncheons can also be formal or informal. The seats of the guests have also been arranged in advance. If there are many people, guests can sit at separate tables. Large formal luncheons usually have waiters serving them, and the meal serving procedures are similar to those at formal banquets. Small ones are another matter. Many people organize lunch parties in a buffet style, with guests picking up their own dishes and drinks. This not only eliminates the need for service staff, but also makes it much easier for the hostess. A typical luncheon will consist of two or three courses. If it's a family luncheon, there's never more than four dishes. The following five dishes are commonly used by people for hosting such banquets. From them, we can see that the meals are much simpler.

A) Fruit or soup bowl

B) Eggs or shellfish

C) Poultry, beef and mutton (not grilled) or fish

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D) Salad

E) Sweets

Of course, there will be bread and butter for lunch. Warm bread is a feature of the luncheon. The wine to accompany the meal is mainly wine, which can be grown and has a low alcohol content, such as dry white wine or red wine. At luncheons in the summer, white wine is best served chilled. At the same time, iced tea and iced coffee are also popular drinks that accompany meals. But in winter, hot tea and hot coffee are more popular among guests.

As mentioned many times above, when entertaining guests, guests have the habit of drinking cocktails before the meal. The so-called cocktail is made by mixing two or more kinds of wine with fresh juice or fruit juice, spices, bitters, etc. Making cocktails is a special skill. There are specific regulations and preparation methods for the alcohol and condiments required for a cocktail. Large hotels and restaurants have full-time bartenders. But regular cocktail drinkers can also make their own. It is said that the late US President Roosevelt was very good at this. There are many types of cocktails, and there are currently more than 2,000 types. Cocktails have become common drinks used by upper class society to entertain guests.

Parties that mainly entertain guests with cocktails are called cocktail parties, and now sometimes refer to various drinks parties. This kind of party