We are all honored to be invited by such a person.
However, in a short time, our impression of him took a 180 degree turn.
After eating meat, he will cross his legs and pick up his teeth like no one's watching, and the things he picks up will accidentally wipe the tablecloth.
When he meets a favorite dish, he sticks his chopsticks in, pokes, picks, tosses and pokes. The food he has eaten is hard for others to swallow.
One dish was served a little late, so he called the waiter, put on a overbearing president's face and shouted, "The boss paid you for nothing!" " "
The waiter is a gentle and timid little girl with a red face and trembling lips, apologizing repeatedly.
He was adamant and shouted at her, "What's the use of apologizing? You have to send us two more fruit bowls! "
The little girl was scared to cry. She has no right. The people at the same table hurried out to form a circle. He squinted and sneered twice and told her to get out.
After a while, he drank two glasses of wine and was in a good mood again. He started telling dirty jokes and his mouth watered. He used wild words to show that everything was forgiven, regardless of the blushes and embarrassment of the ladies present.
We had a terrible meal, but in the face of all the delicious food and wine on the table, we were completely uninterested, only blaming time for walking too slowly.
Shakespeare once said, "at a banquet, the most appetizing thing is the host's manners."
What makes people happy when they go to dinner is not the level of food, but the level of people.
It's not the price of wine, but your habit.
A person with vulgar behavior and rude manners, even if he spends a lot of money to treat guests and pay the bill, will not make people think that he is noble, but will only think that he is a vulgar local tyrant with no cultivation and only family property.
And if a person is modest and sincere and personable, you will feel like a spring breeze at the dinner table.
He will perform well in many aspects, such as personal manners, communication style, attitude and so on.
Table manners are the epitome of a person's civilization and the embodiment of inner cultivation, which is both simple and intuitive.
Look at a person's level, just have a meal.
When I was in college, I once had dinner with some friends.
There is a little brother on the dining table, with green eyes, wooden glasses and a white shirt. He looks very weak.
Although young, his interaction with the people around him is mature and steady.
When ordering, everyone shirks each other and is too lazy to order. They all said "I don't care".
He took the initiative to bring the menu, asked everyone's preferences and taboos, asked the waiter the size of the food, and then whispered and began to order.
The dishes he chose are reasonable in meat quality and balanced in nutrition, including home-cooked dishes and specialty dishes of the store, and also take into account "sweet in the east and spicy in the west, light in the south and salty in the north", taking care of the tastes of people from different regions.
Although he didn't have to pay for the meal, he ordered it in moderation. Five people ordered six dishes and one soup, plus snacks, which were basically clean and would not be wasted.
During the dinner,
He is not brave enough to fight with boys; And I'm not going to try my best to fill girls with wine.
When pouring wine for girls, he will downplay it; It is especially practical when pouring juice. The more the better, but it won't be too full to carry.
When eating, he took his time, chewed slowly, and almost made no noise when chewing soup. All the fishbones and bones eaten are clean and put on the plate.
He naturally likes to use his left hand, but he holds the tableware with his right hand, so that he won't collide with his neighbors on the left, which makes people feel inconvenient.
He won't talk and laugh while chewing.
But he will stop chopsticks from time to time, chat with people present, and take care of one or two particularly introverted people so as not to let them feel left out.
The meal took a long time because the host and guests appreciated each other.
In the meantime, his girlfriend made two phone calls to inspect the post, so he lowered his voice, calmly and softly, and explained it to her without any irritability or impatience.
After dinner, when everyone got up and left, he looked around the table to see if everyone had accidentally lost anything.
We often say, "A glimpse of the whole leopard is vivid."
You can also see the level of the whole person from the small details at the dinner table, and your every move reflects your education and accumulation.
High-level people, with high emotional intelligence, will think of others instead of themselves when eating.
They have a good model. When eating, they can basically take care of the whole, instead of favoring a small number of people and ignoring other love.
The style and etiquette of eating can really explain a person's inner quality.
However, if you pay too much attention to etiquette, it will appear rigid.
It is not enough to be measured in everything.
I once met a man and a woman in a nice western restaurant.
The boys have obviously been here several times, and they are familiar with the road and behave very smartly.
After sitting down, he calmly folded the white napkin in half and put it on his leg.
And girls seem to be coming to such an occasion for the first time.
She is too shy to hide her uneasiness. Her weak little hand gripped the edge of the tablecloth tightly.
After the hot steak was served on the table, the man began to scold the woman, saying that she should not hold a knife in her left hand and a fork in her right hand, which was completely reversed.
When the girl started to cut the veal steak, the boy looked impatient and said that she had cut it wrong. "You should start cutting from one side, how can you cut from the middle? It's ugly to cut like this. "
The girl raised the red wine glass, and the boy scolded contemptuously: "Don't touch the place where the wine is served!" " The temperature of the palm will affect the taste of wine. Stupid, just take the foot of the cup. "
The girl was hit by a series of blows, overwhelmed and upset. However, the boy is still a pair of "hate iron not to produce" and sighs:
"Early know, you shouldn't have brought you to a place like this. It's rude to see you depressed. "
I suddenly remembered that the etiquette teacher once said:
"The level of a person at the dinner table is not only reflected in whether he abides by etiquette, but also in whether he will laugh, blame and be malicious when others first enter etiquette."
The "courtesy" of "etiquette" originally meant respect.
Therefore, "etiquette" means that in the process of interacting with people, people feel respect and respect themselves through their own voices, smiles and manners.
If you turn warm table manners into cold dogma, force others to be perfect and hurt your self-esteem, then etiquette will lose its proper meaning.
Moreover, it will not appear that people are very hierarchical and connotative, but will only make people feel rigid, paranoid and too disciplined.
Things at the dinner table, though small, can reflect many things, just as the dew is small, but it reflects the rainbow in the world.
Your manners, words and attitudes when you eat can make people see your habits.
Your habits depend on your thoughts; Your idea comes from your connotation; Your connotation defines your level.
And a person's level and realm is the best business card at dinner.
There are thousands of people in this world, but high-level people often have several common characteristics at the dinner table:
High-level people will use politeness to restrain themselves when eating.
In the movie Kingsman, Colin Firth, as an English gentleman, said, "People are rude and there is nothing to bear." .
Politeness is the foundation of a person's foothold in the world.
It's the same when eating. Just because eating is a common thing, you can't run amok and don't care what others think.
A person's level is not only reflected in career planning, winning a thousand miles and being polite to business partners.
It is also reflected in the fact that you are not vulgar, willful or rude at the dinner table. You still have gentle respect for those who have no direct interest with you and those who are below you. This is you.
Just like Li Ka-shing, he once invited Ma Yun and others to dinner. During the dinner, he shook hands with everyone to say hello, taking care of not only the entrepreneurs present, but also the waiters present.
Just like Henry IV in French history, he would wear ordinary clothes, go to farmers' homes, eat and drink with everyone, and be kind and polite.
Sometimes people don't even know that they are having dinner with the king.
High-level people will be sincere and considerate when they eat.
They will not patronize themselves, but will consider other people's diet health, tastes and hobbies, feelings and feelings, and the economic endurance of their owners.
Just like Xue Baochai in a dream of red mansions, Baoyu goes to her place for dinner, and Baochai will give him warm wine tenderly to nourish his stomach and warm his body.
Grandmother Jia is going to give Baochai a birthday party and ask her what she wants to eat and what she likes to listen to.
Taking care of the preferences of the elderly, Baochai ordered cooked food, soft food and lively opera.
Once, Shi Xiangyun wanted to invite everyone to dinner. Baochai knew that she was poor and was afraid that she would spend a lot of money, so she paid for her and held a crab feast to make everyone enjoy themselves.
Just like my little brother, he is absent-minded from ordering and eating to leaving the table.
Eating with him is not tiring at all.
Although he didn't pay the bill, everyone remembered his generosity and kindness.
As the saying goes, "food is the first priority for the people, and safety is the first priority for food."
And a high-level person, this meal will definitely make you feel at ease, instead of fidgeting and feeling neglected and isolated.
High-level people will be lenient and strict with themselves when eating.
They may be proficient in western etiquette and know many rules: red wine with beef, champagne with fresh fish, the direction of using spoons is from inside to outside, and the order of holding knives and forks is from outside to inside.
However, they are not demanding, and others can do the same.
They know that dinner is a date for lovers or a gathering of friends, not the inauguration ceremony of the president or the coronation ceremony of the royal family, and there is no need to make everything comprehensive.
If other people's behavior is harmless and does not interfere with others, they will be indifferent, laugh it off and will not be paranoid.
If such a thing insists on getting to the bottom of it, it is not high-level, but perfectionism.
The problem of hierarchy is particularly obvious at the dinner table.
William Hansen, the world's top etiquette master, said, "An observant person can know your parents' life background and your education background only by one meal. "
This background does not necessarily mean money. There are also modest gentlemen in the bamboo shed; There are also dandies in the halls and mansions.
By rank, we mainly mean life education and spiritual cultivation, not economic and financial resources. Assets are hard currency and the level is soft power.
A high-level person, even if he is not rich for a while, is extremely rich in mind. At the dinner table, he is always affable and polite to others.
And a very rich person, if he is honest, doesn't know manners; Food and clothing, but I don't know honor or disgrace, can also make people despise.
Diderot said, "As a civilized person, I can't live without food."
The good mood when enjoying food often depends on the good intentions of peers and their civilization level.
High-level people like to eat.
Eating with them will make you happy.