1. A man pulls, but still throws, and shakes on my blacklist.

2. I am not afraid of being betrayed by a man, because I will betray before he betrays.

3. When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

4. Women spend men's grass, other flowers that shouldn't be spent, and other grass that shouldn't be planted.

5. Didn't you say you loved me? My whole life is to live for it!

6. When I came into this world, I didn't want to go back alive.

7. A man's face is bigger than his ass, and his self-esteem is more fragile than his second child.

8. Women should stand behind men. Give your body at any time

9. Between men and women, there is always ambiguity before there is love.

1. I told myself that whether I am happy or not, I must be strong and live!

11. A man is like a one-dollar coin, with a front and a chrysanthemum at the back.

12. Our feelings are as strong as RMB.

13, people in this life, not only by relationship, but also by ability.

14. Maybe because I am too young, I still don't know what to cherish.

15. Emotion is nothing, and it is not worth being hurt by so many people.

at this moment, we must live proudly.

17. Since I came into this world, I have no intention of going back alive.

18. I live on a breath of oxygen, and oxygen is you.

19. We should all face the sun and live proudly.

2. Be happy when we are alive, because we will die for a long time.

21. If you hate me, I don't mind at all. I don't live to please you.

22. Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

23. I didn't intend to go back alive when I came into this world.

24. Brothers are of one mind, why can't the enemy resist me with 3,?

25. My brothers have given me brilliance, and I am more rampant than the sky.

26. Brothers are people who shed tears and shed blood together. Who moved my brother? I made him disappear.

27. Brother, talk to your buddy. Although he is not good at mixing, he can get a knife for you!

28. You always have to pay back when you come out to mix. They make us cry and we make them bleed.

29. If you dare to break my sister's heart, I will break your heart completely ...

3. Qian Shan is always in love, so you can't touch my sister.

31. You kill me. Since I came to this world alive, I have no intention of going back alive.

32. Men are nothing, and sisters are king

33. Even if the world has only five minutes left, we will be crazy together

34. Either live well or die quickly!

35. Why do you need a divorce certificate when a man is reliable?

36. It is said that men are sexy, but women are not so good, but men are obvious and women are introverted.

37. Women are tools to make human beings, but men are human beings who use tools.

38. You said that I am your woman, so I wonder if you are my man.

39. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

4. A woman's success lies in shaping her man to make more women like her.

41. In real life, men can never resist the temptation of the lower body.

42. Whoever dares to rob my man, my sister will shoot her.

43. Men's four ghosts: coming home from work at night is a poor man, coming home at 9 o'clock at night is an alcoholic, coming home at 12 o'clock at night is a goat, and coming home at 4 o'clock in the morning is a gambler.

44. What I want to see most in my life is the painful appearance of men's dysmenorrhea and abortion.

45. Men's twenties are Pentium, men's thirties are Microsoft, july rhapsody is Panasonic and men's fifties are Lenovo.

46. Men are awesome. Kneeling between a woman's legs.

47. Men change cars with little wealth, houses with big wealth and wives with rich wealth.

48. Live well or die quickly.

49. A man's goodness is only known to every woman around him.

5. Men are like chewing gum. The longer you chew it, the less interesting it will be.

Cool and domineering classic funny quotations

1. I'm in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. That's all I've said ...

2. Looking at beautiful women in the street, looking higher is appreciation, and looking lower is hooliganism.

3. Money treats me like dirt, and I still treat money like dirt! It's all dirt. Who's afraid of who?

4. Sit on your back tonight, get up early tomorrow, lie on your stomach tomorrow, and exercise the day after tomorrow. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

5. I know I'm not a handsome guy, but someone once said that my left nostril was idolized when they looked at my full moon photos.

6. Don't call your child a rabbit, because from the genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

7. Steamed bread is everything. You can eat it when you are hungry. If you want to eat cakes, pat the steamed bread flat; If you want to eat noodles, comb the steamed bread with a comb; If you want to eat hamburgers, just cut the steamed bread and eat it ...

8. By inner beauty, men mean inside the bra, not inside.

9. However, I saw the so-called contemporary women's mate selection standard in the book: having a car and a house, and both parents are dead. Depressed. I wrote down the imaginary criteria for choosing a wife: family wealth exceeds 1 million, beauty is the best in the world, virtuous and gentle and sexy, and my father-in-law has terminal cancer ... < P > 1. My father asked me what I want in life. I answered money and beauty, and my father hit me in the face fiercely; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

11. Except for one item, all the other columns are well filled. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "nervous".

12. I just found out that the way to attract a man is to keep him from getting it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to keep her satisfied.

13. Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4 yuan from me and said that he would have a plastic surgery. Now I have no idea what he has become.

14. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually spilled 1 ml of lard.

15. If marriage is the grave of love, the annual wedding anniversary celebration is a grave-sweeping.

16. A young lady walks at night, and a robber in Lu Yu says, "Give me the money!" The young lady replied, "No, you just force me, and I won't give it!" " The robber looked at the young lady carefully and said, "You think it's beautiful!"

17. If happiness is floating clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless in Wan Li, sky full of stars ...

18. I usually scold you, but I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

19. I will circle my calendar every day. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life had been an ellipsis.

2. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will be well.

21. Galvanized coffins are certainly more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.

22. King Kong is an idiot with his head caught in the door. Have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?

23. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ!

24. A little girl once said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: not handsome, not handsome, just long.

25. Hee hee and Haha are good friends, very good friends. One day, haha died. Hee hee was very sad. He went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you are dead.

26. The clearest sentence I heard in CET-4 listening today: Now please take out the tape and turn to side B to continue listening.

27. Beggar: Sister-in-law, I haven't eaten for two days. Can I have some cake? Sister-in-law: Cake? I only have rice here. Beggar: Forget it if it's normal, but today is my birthday!

28. A woman asked a man, "Do I look good?" The man said: you are like Mona Lisa's sister now. The woman said: Really? Who is her sister? The man said: Janet Martha.

29. It is said that the sandstorm has blown to Taiwan Province. Many old people took to the streets, opened their hands, looked up at the sky at 45 degrees, burst into tears, took a deep breath and said excitedly, 6 years, 6 years, and finally smelled the mud in their hometown.

3. My brother went to a primary school to play basketball and heard a junior girl ask a junior boy, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gave me money from 3 yuan every day, of which two and a half dollars were for you to buy snacks. Do you think I love you or not?

31. There was an opportunity to add clothes before me. I didn't cherish it until I caught a cold. If God gave me another chance to start over, I would not hesitate to add all my clothes.

32. female: I want to find a boyfriend. M: Let me help you. "We have a good one in our dormitory.". Woman: Aren't you distressed that I am with him? . Man: Think too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

Xiaoming asked his father to tell him a story. Dad said you want to listen to the long one or the short one? Xiao Ming: Long! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly that buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed … Xiaoming: Dad, you'd better keep it short! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly, hum, bang!

34. In order to attract business, Hot Pot City wrote the following sentence on the billboard: "Self-help hot pot is free for every child under 1 meter in 3 yuan." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. She was pregnant with 3 yuan money and led 5 children in her class to the hot pot city.

35. A child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: when I was a child, I had nothing like you. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child mused and said, Sir, I seem to understand. Mr. millionaire said, you know your sister. Later, my father died and I inherited all his inheritance. "

36. A loyal party member died. God didn't want to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the king of Yan came sweating and said, "You should take that man away quickly. He has developed almost all my kids into young pioneers!" " God accepted, and after another month, the king of Yan gloated and asked God, "What about party member?" God said, "First of all, please call me Comrade ..."

37. Whose bodyguard is more loyal than the leaders of China and the United States? The American leader ordered the bodyguard to jump from the 1th floor, and the bodyguard knelt down and said, "Come on, I have family." . So the president of the United States relented. The leader of China ordered the bodyguard to jump, but the bodyguard of China would jump without saying anything. The president of the United States quickly grabbed him in fear. China's bodyguard said, "Come on, I have family.

38. Three men went to the woman to propose marriage. Parents: Talk about their respective situations. A: I have 1 million; B: I have a mansion worth 2 million; The woman's parents were very satisfied and asked C, what do you have at home? C: I have nothing but a child. Now the baby is in your daughter's belly. AB is speechless and left. This case tells us a simple truth. The core competitiveness is not money and house, but people in key positions.

39. Once upon a time, there was a cucumber who felt that she had too many acne on her face, so she sliced herself and applied it to her face.

4. Who was McDull secretly in love with? Answer: robot cat. Because McDull jingles

41. When I was a child, my teacher told me that there is a diligent villain and a lazy villain in everyone. When you hesitate, they will fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often won in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped fighting, and the damn diligent little man was killed.

42, Christmas, every Lan child who is not accompanied by an aluminum child can only tighten his collar at the street corner in the cold wind, and when he hears the sad reminder coming from the wind, it really rings all over the city … "Single boy! ~single boy! ~single all the way! ~ ~ ~ "

43. The most useless sentence in the world: 1.police: Don't run! 2. national football: win! 3. Teacher: Students, don't sleep! Patient: Doctor, please be gentle! 5. Woman: Don't. 6. Parents: Children, stop it. 7. Criminals: I am wronged! 8. The sentence "Smoking is harmful to health" on the cigarette case 1. "God will bless you" 11. When breaking up, I'm sorry.

44. Xiao Ming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mother asked, "Did the nun teach you well? Is it a good textbook? Is it a prayer? ""Neither, "Xiao Ming said." On the first day of school, I saw a man crucified on the plus sign, and I knew … they were serious. "

45. Sakura said to Xiaoqiang, "If I kick you in the exam today, you should give me a glance." When it was time for the exam, Sakura kicked Xiaoqiang, and Xiaoqiang replied: Meow

46. A new building in a university was built with a sculpture: a girl holding a book in her left hand and holding a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Outside the school, the students were publicly asked for names, and as a result, many people's slogans coincided-reading is the best use!

47. The depreciation rate of women is amazing. It only takes one night to change from a' new' mother to an' old' woman.

48. Effect of contraception: If you don't succeed, you will become a' person'.

49. Before eating peanuts, a monkey should put it in his ass before taking it out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out. The monkey was scared. Now it must be measured before eating.

5. What we have walked together and what we have made together should be quiet after separation. Ideal and domineering personality signature cold and aloof

Don't listen to rumors, believe that seeing is believing, maybe I'm not your best friend's choice, but please don't take the risk of choosing to be my enemy

△▲ごThis club will make love easy and love difficult.

If you live in your garden, you will belong to me ~.

Full Wi-Fi+ warm bed+warm sunshine+excellent food.

If you are here, I will always love you.