My Juebao is a cautious and slow-witted child. Born with a flattering personality, she was gentle and timid since childhood, with zero attack power and accepted external injuries without complaint.

However, as a mother, it is totally unacceptable to see that she is verbally attacked or even beaten by other children, while she stands in the same place and bears everything or even cries. [Tears streaming down her face]

And after my endless groping and stepping on the pit, I taught Juebao which method to take when being beaten under different events:

The first situation: the child is unintentionally hurt while playing.

In fact, this situation is the most common. Children who get up will be unconsciously excited in the process of frolicking, and their movements are easy to exaggerate and their strength is uncontrollable. They will accidentally push and hurt other children. When their baby is not in danger of being injured and the baby doesn't mind, it is suggested that the scene should not interfere too much, and they can make a comeback with their baby in the future.

This is my conversation with Juebao after an incident:

Ma Ling: Honey, did you have a good time today?

Juebao: Happy.

Ma Ling: Mom saw you playing with friends, and I was as happy as you. What did you play (let the children learn to tell the truth)?

Juebao: I played slides and swings.

Ma Ling: Well, yes, I liked slides when I was a child. I remember when I was a child, I fell off the slide and my head was bleeding (which aroused the baby's curiosity)!

Juebao: Why is it bleeding?

Ma Ling: At that time, because I had a good time with my good friend, my good friend accidentally pushed me and immediately pushed me down. It is dangerous to fall from a height. It hurt so much at that time! I lost a lot of blood and recovered for a long time before I could go out to play. I still remember it. (At this time, you can wait for the baby to respond, and then continue to strengthen. Today, mom saw you playing, so-and-so pushed you, and you fell down. It's a good thing you're not up there, and you're not hurt, otherwise it will hurt, and mom will be very distressed (reminding the baby to fall again). Although so-and-so didn't mean it, it was dangerous. Next time we play together, be careful. If he pushes you or accidentally bumps into you, you should tell him not to do that, because it will hurt you. So if it's you, can you push others?

Juebao: No.

Ma Ling: Why not?

Juebao: Because others will get hurt.

Ma Ling: Yes, we can't hurt others, but you should also learn to protect yourself. You can't hurt yourself, otherwise you will be very painful and your mother will be very distressed.

If the children accept it here, then we can stop, but then I met another situation:

Ma Ling: Honey, did someone push you in kindergarten today?

Juebao: I pushed it! I told her not to push me, but she kept pushing me around. I was unhappy. She keeps pushing me!

Ma Ling: Did you fall and get hurt? (Comfort first)

Juebao: No, but I fell.

Ma Ling: Mom is very sad. Do you need her to talk to her?

Juebao: No need.

Ma Ling: If you warn her and she keeps pushing you, then you should avoid it first, and then yell at her loudly and tell her that you can't push you, and you will get hurt. If she still pushes, then don't play with her, go away and play something else, and let her reflect on herself.

Juebao: I don't want it! She is my good friend and I want to be with her. (come on, personality, old mother is a headache)

Ma Ling: If she really regards you as a good friend, she will reflect and correct you after you angrily refuse. Good friends won't hurt you. You should cherish each other. But if the other person hurts you and the other person is still happy, then she will not regard you as a friend, and she will no longer be your friend, because you will be hurt and your mother will be very sad. (Establish a correct concept of making friends)

If similar incidents happen again in the future, parents are advised to intervene. You can talk to other parents first. If the conversation fails, you can only persuade the child to give up the friendship.

The second situation: encounter a child who maliciously beats people.

On the second day after entering kindergarten, Juebao met a child who loves to pinch people. When I got home, I saw a lot of red nail prints on my hands, and some of them were broken, which broke my mother's heart.

Ma Ling: Baby, what's that in your hand? Pretend to ask casually, don't make the child nervous.

Juebao: Pinched by a child.

Ma Ling: Huh? How do you pinch it?

Unique treasure (show me how to pinch it)

Ma Ling: But mom saw many marks on her hands. Did she pinch them several times?

Juebao: Yes.

Ma Ling: Does it hurt? Mom, can you apply some medicine and put on a band-aid you like?

Juebao: It hurts. Okay.

Ma Ling: Baby, you are hurt. Remember our agreement? To protect yourself from getting hurt, right? Did you tell the teacher?

Juebao: No, I dare not say.

Ma Ling: OK, Mom, let's work something out with you and see what we can do if this happens again, OK? First of all, if the child hits you or pinches you, you should hurry away so that she can't hurt you any more. Then you have to shout back in a loud voice, very loud, so that everyone can hear it, because the child who did something bad is actually very afraid of you telling others what she did. If you yell at her, she will be very scared. After yelling, she will run to the teacher and tell him a secret. I have made an agreement with the teacher. If a child bullies you, you will go to the teacher. If the child likes to beat and scold others, then you should stay away from her, stay away from her and make friends with her, because she will hurt you.

(Finally, Ma Ling talked to the teacher about the general situation. The next day, the teacher asked the child to apologize to Juebao, and Juebao forgave the child. Since then, the child has never pinched Juebao again. )

[Rose] When you see this place, you should see that I didn't actually teach my children to fight back, because I have been teaching them a truth, that is, don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you. If you fight back, children may be hurt more in the process of fighting with each other, and an irreversible tragedy will occur.

But in the whole process, the last thing we advocate is to submit to humiliation, because often a lot of campus violence means that the weak party dare not resist, and submission to humiliation encourages the arrogance of the perpetrators, so we can't be beaten and injured. What shall we do? Then protect ourselves first.

By avoiding and shouting loudly, we can attract people around us, attract others' attention, improve our momentum, make the hitters afraid, deter each other, and find someone who can protect themselves to seek asylum.

At this time, parents must also give their children a sense of security and tell them that teachers and themselves will protect their children. Even if the teacher does not give enough support, parents will resolutely protect their children. Don't blame children for being so cowardly, stand on the same front with them, because only parents give enough courage can children yell at each other at that moment and give each other the strongest shock!

Of course, in the final analysis, these two situations mentioned by Ma Ling are routine treatment methods in the case of no serious problems. If the situation is worse, parents must intervene, give their children a reply afterwards, reduce their psychological pressure, and conditionally ask the other child to apologize. When the incident is serious, it is not excluded to call the police.