1
I am a girl with simple and traditional thoughts. I always hoped that I could be spoiled like a little princess by my boyfriend, and I naively thought that as long as I find it interesting, my boyfriend should play with me. I think it's delicious, so my boyfriend must accompany me to taste it. I like to share my happiness with him and do the same thing with him. I once thought this was happiness. Especially when we are separated from each other, the idea that we should synchronize is even stronger, so even if we are thousands of miles away, we should pull him to accompany me to open the same movie at the same time, as if he were sitting next to me.
just now, we had a fierce quarrel. His sentence "You are a moral kidnapping" made me suddenly wake up.
Love doesn't mean everything should be synchronized!
when I invisibly ask him to accompany me to do what I like, to recognize my views and thoughts, and to insist that if I don't accompany me, I don't love me, at the same time, I am kidnapping him in the name of love, and I am gradually devouring his freedom, his time and space.
2
My roommate Xiao Q is a very thoughtful and capable girl. She is very cheerful, and both boys and girls are willing to play with her. Xiao q's ex-boyfriend, here replaced by l. Is a plain-looking, but particularly considerate and gentle boy.
At first, they were very sweet, but slowly, Xiao Q began to become unhappy, and the whole person no longer had her old energy. Xiao Q felt that L was always in charge of her, and she had no room for herself. She felt very unhappy.
After being together, L is particularly obsessed with Xiao Q, and I can't wait to be together all the time except sleeping and going to the bathroom. Gradually, Xiao Q has less and less contact with her friends, and her world has only become full of L.
At the end of the term, everyone is busy reviewing. Xiao Q has a strong learning ability and reads quickly. As for L, reading is always absent-minded, and he keeps pulling Xiao Q and saying, "Don't look so fast, we have to synchronize."
In the past, Xiao Q was beautifully dressed and fashionable, and many boys had a good impression on her. After being with L, L felt pressured to keep her away from other boys, high heels and skirts, so she could only wear jeans, T-shirts and canvas shoes with him. L said, "We have to wear lovers' clothes".
Xiao Q, who has always been excellent at running for the post of minister in the mass organizations department, also wants to run for the post, but he was stopped by L. He said, "As a girl, being a minister is too hard, and you have a lot of things to do every day, so we should spend less time together.". But Xiao Q likes this organization very much. She has worked hard for this organization. She doesn't want to give up. In the end, Xiao Q broke up because of her personal differences and her inner depression.
In love, many times we are blind. We think that love is about two people doing the same thing together, drinking the same coke and eating the same ice cream. We even use this to measure how important we are in each other's hearts. We believe that those who are willing to spend time with themselves are the ones who really love themselves.
as everyone knows, it is a great disrespect to the other party to take up the other party's time irresponsibly and do meaningless things at will. Everyone's time is limited. In this limited time, what we have to do is what can make us progress together and make both of us improve ourselves.
3
There is such a scene in the movie "annie hall". Ivy runs to the street and asks a couple, "You seem to be a very happy couple. How did you do it? "
For keeping love, if you can't grow up together, it seems that it is also a good way to stop at the same place together. There is still a risk of growing up together, that is, he (she) who finds a better self is likely to leave.
It seems very stable to stop at the same place, but behind this stability, it is very likely that the life of two people will only stay in the life of squeezing the subway to work every day to pay off the mortgage and car loan, thinking that going out for a big meal and watching a movie together on weekends is the greatest happiness.
I'm not denying this optimism. I just feel that this kind of life has no pursuit. Don't you want to see the world with your beloved, see exotic customs, eat all the delicious food and see more novel and interesting things? Think, what should I do? From now on, we should make good use of our own time, and also know how to cherish each other's time, do things that are more meaningful to two people, and give him space and time to know things that he is interested in but he doesn't know, instead of dragging him to watch bubble dramas with you, shopping with you, and insisting that he eat your sweet and sour pork tenderloin with you and you don't know that he is jealous!
love, really not everything has to be synchronized! If you really love him, set him free, let him grow up and do what he likes, but it doesn't mean indulgence.
love is in the same direction, but it doesn't have to be synchronized.
if you want to synchronize, you should also chase the person in front, instead of letting him wait for you in the same place.
END