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What kind of experience is high emotional intelligence? What you say is particularly comfortable.

I remember once, my sister sent me a video of herself eating delicious food at night, which was a great torture for me to lose weight and skip dinner. So I complained to my friend about my sister, "Is my sister particularly annoying, knowing that I don't eat at night, and send these to me!" " My friend didn't answer "yes", and then scolded my sister after me. She didn't say "no" and scolded me for being too melodramatic. Instead, she added, "My sister can send you delicious food, and you can send her your figure!" In a word, it didn't offend me and my sister, but also made me a little proud of my body. If he answers yes or no, I will feel uncomfortable.

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The so-called high emotional intelligence means talking, which was exchanged at a book club meeting last November. The author is Keiichi Sasaki of Japan, a top communication expert, advertising genius and copywriting master in Japan. The author believes that people who love reading and are self-motivated must have bright spots on their bodies, but it is a great pity if these bright spots cannot be displayed. Brilliant wording does not come from a natural sense of language, but, like cooking, can be mastered by learning recipes. If you master and use the phrasing skills perfectly, you will get different results.

this book is divided into two parts. the first part is "the skill of turning NO into Yes" and the second part is "the skill of creating' epigrams'".

According to statistics, a person will ask for help 22 times a day, sometimes he will get "yes" and sometimes "no". Keep improving the wording and change at least one "no" answer to "yes" every day, so there will be 365 times a year, which is more than 1,111 times in three years. If we can change the previous 1,111 "no" into "yes",

there are three steps to turn the answer of NO into Yes, which are: "don't say what you think directly", "try to figure out the other person's psychology" and "consider the wording that suits the other person's interests".

"Don't say what you think directly". Generally speaking, it is easy for people to say what they think directly without thinking, but it often backfires. After all, "I mind if you speak directly".

"read the other person's psychology", and guess what the other person will think of your request according to their daily performance. The basis of communication lies in the extent to which we can read each other's psychology.

"Consider wording that is in line with the interests of the other party", and make the request so that "the interests of the other party" and "their own interests" tend to be consistent.

here, there are also seven breakthroughs for reference.

1. Do what you like

Get the other person's favor and realize your expectations.

2. What it hates

is effective for people who are hard to convince, and it is powerful. However, it is compulsive and should be avoided for continuous use.

3. Freedom of choice

Give two suitable options, and you can achieve your goal no matter which one the other party chooses.

4. Desire to be recognized

Psychologically, it is also called "respecting needs", that is, "one can make achievements corresponding to the expectations of others".

5. You have to

When you hear that "only you are special", people are easily persuaded. It can make the other party feel that only they have been chosen, so they are willing to respond.

6. Teamwork

Using "Teamwork" can make the other party have a sense of partnership, even if it is a troublesome request, it will be willing to accept it.

7. Thank you

Using "thank you" can make the other party have a vague sense of trust, so it is difficult to refuse easily.

We usually read books, watch movies, interview some athletes and public figures, etc., and we can see the sentences that shock our hearts. As an advertising genius and copywriter, Keiichi Sasaki, this part of the content is biased towards the skills of advertising and copywriting, but daily communication and exchange can also be used for reference. The author summarizes the following eight techniques for creating "epigrams":

1. Surprise method

2. Contrast method

3. Naked method

4. Repetition method

5. Climax method

6. Numeric method

7. Combination method

8. Vertex method.

The theoretical part of this book is very practical. The cases are partial to Japanese local cases, and the translator's translation level does not make it feel amazing to read. But it can be regarded as a book of introspection.

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In this information age, we have received many opinions expressed in this book in a lot of fragmented information, but it is one thing to understand and know, and it is another thing to use them accurately and properly in practical work and life. As the saying goes, "If you understand the truth, you still can't live a good life." When some people are in a bad mood, they forget all the principles and methods, leaving only their own emotions. Problems in life and work are endless, and we are so forgetful. Therefore, always review these principles and methods, always remind yourself to speak well and cultivate the habit of speaking well, so as to resist the difficulties of invasion from all directions.

don't arm yourself like a hedgehog and stab people everywhere at the best age. After all, the purpose of communication is not to vent emotions, to quarrel and win, or to make others apologize and admit their mistakes, but to get the results you want. Mutual benefit and win is the ultimate goal of communication. Speak well, or one day, you will hate yourself.