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What should I do if my best friend has a good relationship with the person I hate the most?

In the hearts of most of us, "mother" has always been a sacred and beautiful word, which is full of tenderness and warmth when mentioned. However, the recent "Ode to Joy 2" has allowed us to see the current situation in China. We have the ugliest mothers-in-law and mothers, and, shockingly, we can’t deny their existence.

The first type, "relying on the elderly and selling them off, being disrespectful to the elderly", representative: Ying Qin's mother. Among the episodes updated in the past two days, the most irritating scene is the scene where Ying Qin's mother scolds Qiu Yingying. Ying Qin was beaten up by her fiancée's family and even put under house arrest. She asked Qiu Yingying for help. While seeking help, she mercilessly criticized Qiu Yingying for being shameless. Qiu was a girl she didn't know at all. She came up with a definition. In front of a bunch of people, she described the little earthworm as a person who doesn't care about money, courtesy, justice and shame. How is this different from Ding Xuan, the female moral teacher on the Internet who says "the best dowry for a woman is chastity"? In her eyes, having an ex-boyfriend means she will lose her virginity, and having multiple ex-boyfriends means she will definitely get involved. However, in reality, there are too many such mothers-in-law or mothers. They occupy an active position in the marriage and love market. They are aggressive and think that their eyes are dazzling. She spoke out with baseless humiliation, but when faced with Qu Xiaoxiao's provocation, she was able to suppress it with the majesty of an elder: I can scold you, but you have to listen carefully and not talk back. In life, this is like the kind of people who use crutches to force you to give up your seat on buses and subways. Once you say no, it is a treason. It's really ugly to ask others to respect you because you are an elder, but you don't know how to respect others. This kind of disrespect is really ugly.

The second type is snobbish and uses his son as a commodity. Representative figures: Bao Yifan’s mother and Wang Baichuan’s mother. They are put together because they are so similar and have the same snobbery. In the eyes of this kind of mother, her son is a commodity waiting to be sold. She must buy it at a good price and "exchange" it for a valuable daughter-in-law in the marriage market. There are two common lines they use. One is more euphemistic, "My son is not good enough for you", and the other more direct is "You are not good enough for my son." Wang Baichuan's mother casually browsed her son's cell phone and casually used her son's name to meet Fan Shengmei, with a superior look like "You can't reach my family." Later, after using insulting words to force Fan Shengmei away, she could still say "I am doing this for your own good" without changing her expression or heartbeat. Bao Yifan's mother was even more explicit, and her attitude towards Andy changed several times. First, he mistakenly believed that Andy was Wei Guoqiang's mistress, insisted that she was a vixen, and continued to harass her. After learning that Andy was Wei Guoqiang's daughter, he was eager to get married. But when he heard that something had happened to Wei Guoqiang, his attitude immediately turned cold. In the eyes of such a mother-in-law or mother, marriage is a transaction that can be manipulated, and she must also win. As for love, it is okay not to want such an illusory thing.

The third type is greedy and favors sons over daughters. Representative: Fan Shengmei’s mother. In the two seasons of the series, the most shocking thing is Fan Shengmei’s mother. Some people may even ask, is there really such a mother? Mentioning her will remind people of her classic lines: "Xiao Mei , you must help your brother!" She is greedy, eating her daughter's food, living in her daughter's life, and even wants to take her daughter's clothes to the pawn shop to exchange for money. She is partial. Even though the whole family relies on her daughter to make a living, she only thinks her son is important. She was also stupid. At the critical moment when her husband was lying on the operating table, she was still thinking that the house could not be sold because she would be beaten by her husband and her son would have no place to live. The most serious thing she did was to keep draining her daughter. It is natural for children to support their parents, and no one would deny it. However, people like Fan Shengmei’s mother have too strong goals for their children. They only have children to carry on the family line and have someone to rely on when they grow old. However, the scary thing is that there are too many vampire-like parent-child relationships in China. They drain their children to make themselves comfortable, and even worse, drain their daughters to supplement their sons.

The fourth and final type is the traditional mother. Representative: Guan Juer’s mother. Among the five girls in the play, Guan Juer is the most popular and ordinary girl, and her mother happens to be the most common kind of mother in our lives. The most striking feature is that they constantly force Guan Guan to go on blind dates. During the Spring Festival when seven aunts and eight aunts gathered together, I asked everyone at the dinner table to help my daughter find a partner. This would probably be a nightmare for anyone. They don't care whether their daughters want it or not. They will always behave like a "big family": Your schooling, employment, marriage, and children will all be under my arrangement every step of the way. In addition, the most fundamental problem with her is that she still believes that men are the masters of women. Such a mother values ??marriage most and is ashamed to be single after reaching a certain age. She believes that a woman's greatest success is to marry a good family, and that a woman's happiness depends on a man.

Why do we have to admit the existence of these mothers-in-law or mothers? Why do we say they are ugly mother-in-laws and mothers? The most fundamental reason is that most women of that era pinned their lives and ideals on the next generation. If their children were removed from their lives, they would have no life of their own at all. This is true whether it is Bao Yifan's rich mother or Fan Shengmei's business mother. "Mom is for your own good", "How can you talk to your elders like this", "You are still young and you don't understand", "You were born by me, you should be like this", these are their magic weapons to win.

These mothers never realize or are unwilling to admit that they are too involved in their children's adult lives. The most lovable mother in the play, Zhao Qiping, understands the balance between mother and son and between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law very well. It's because even though she is old and becomes a mother, she still has her own complete life and career. She does not need to tie up her son to gain a sense of existence in her life. Both she and her son are independent. Every mother and mother-in-law was once a girl. People of the previous generation can no longer reverse it, but perhaps starting from our generation, when we become mother-in-law or mother, we should not live like what we once hated most.