Proposing a marriage

On the orders of parents, a man and a woman are matched by a matchmaker. If they think they are a good match, they exchange "geng stickers" (age and birth date) and press them in front of the statue of the Kitchen God. The bottom of the tea cup to test the will of God. If there are no "abnormal" situations such as broken bowls, rancid food, family quarrels, or uneasy cats and dogs in the home within three days, ask a fortune teller to "make a horoscope" to see if the year and age are compatible and whether the zodiac signs are incompatible. In the old days, some people believed in the so-called big conflict in six years and a small conflict in three years; men marry at double ages and women do not marry at nineteen; they called chickens and dogs (roosters and dogs do not get along), dragons and tigers (dragons and tigers fight each other), tigers and sheep (sheep fall). Tiger's mouth), snake and rat (snake swallowing a rat) are difficult to match, and we should wait until everything is considered before discussing marriage.

Engagement

Discuss the marriage before the engagement, discuss "little gifts" before the marriage, and bargain in the age of buying and selling marriages. Generally, "four to six magenta" (four to six pieces of silk and satin clothing), two gold rings, and one pair of gold earrings; the betrothal gift is thirty-six small gifts, sixty-four medium gifts, and one hundred and twenty big gifts (silver coins). ; Food, the number is "sixty-four", that is, 64 pairs of Baotou, 64 oil buns, 64 sesame cakes, etc., and there are 2 to 8 dan of old wine, so Shengnan is called "Old Wine". After the engagement, the man carries the above-mentioned gifts to the woman in a box. The woman's return gifts are mostly gold balls, oil bags and embroidery made by her daughter. For the engagement certificate, the man sends a "letter of approval", commonly known as "red and green paper" (the two layers of paper are red on the outside and green on the inside), and the woman sends a "reply note" to confirm the engagement, commonly known as "wedding paper". Therefore, when husband and wife quarreled in the old days, the wife would often say that I had "red and green writing paper" to restrain her husband. After the "wedding", the auspicious day is chosen to get married, and the day shop is chosen to choose a "good day". Relatives and friends give gifts. Most of the wedding gifts are in cash, or wedding silk curtains or wedding axes, and are written with the words "A happy marriage for a hundred years, a prosperous marriage for five generations", "A match made in heaven", etc. Most of the wedding gifts are embroidered or satin quilts, quilt heads or daily utensils. Some also give red dates, peanuts, longans and lotus seeds, which means "having a precious son early".

In the old days, there was a custom that matchmakers were not allowed to drink tea when entering the house for the first time. It was said that "matchmakers do not drink tea", saying that drinking tea would dilute the marriage. The matchmaker is also called the "matchmaker's cupboard". The matchmaker can eat "a hundred meals" and must be rewarded with "wine to thank the matchmaker". However, if there is discord between the husband and wife or the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after marriage, the matchmaker has the responsibility to mediate.

Getting married

The day when you have a drink to welcome the bride is called a "good day". As the proverb goes, "Please drink wine and pay homage to your birthday." On a good day, the groom takes a red paper "knowledge list" and invites his elders, relatives and friends to have a wedding wine (good day wine). The elders should write the word "knowledge" under their names. In the old days, there was a custom of waiting for a husband and waiting for a marriage. The parents of both parties would treat their sons and daughters to eat steamed buns, clams, elbows, chestnuts, and lotus seeds in order to win the fortune of "five sons passing the imperial examination." Three to five days before the wedding day, the man gives the woman a "carriage in front of the sedan chair", usually 2 geese, 1 cube of meat, 2 fish, etc.

Looking at the dowry: The man goes to the woman to bring the dowry (dowry), and the woman places the dowry in the hall for people to watch, which is called "watching the dowry". The utensils are covered with red threads, the clothes and other items are scented with sandalwood, and several silver coins are placed at the bottom of the box, which is commonly known as "box money". The dowry is moved to the groom's side and displayed in the hall for people to view, which is also called "viewing the dowry". The grandma takes the woman's key bag, takes the keys and opens the box, which is commonly known as "unpacking".

One day before the groomsmen welcome the bride, the groom will "lay the bed". A "Quanfu" woman will take 24 pairs of chopsticks tied with red thread and place them under the groom's mat, which is called "setting the bed". One to three nights before the wedding, a boy (boy) with both parents will sleep with the groom, sleeping inside the bed, and is called the "best man". In the evening, the little girl is given steamed buns, peanuts, and eggs, which means "bao will give birth to a son." When she leaves in the morning on the "good day", she is given a red envelope, commonly known as "taking out the urine bottle."

A day or two before the wedding day, the bridegroom's family gets the sedan chair and wedding utensils from the wedding ceremony store, hangs lanterns and festoons, and entertains the guests with a high-quality banquet, which is called "Xixianfian". At the fifth watch on a good day, the groom's family will offer a complete set of pigs, sheep or five animals and fruits as a sacrifice to "the king of heaven and earth, his relatives and master" in the hall, which is commonly known as "Xiang Xian". Enjoy eating "Xianxian Tangguo" for breakfast.

Sitting in a sedan chair. Ningbo girls all sit in a sedan chair when they get married. Legend has it that the King of Kangxi (Gaozong) of the Southern Song Dynasty fled to Mingzhou and was pursued by the Jin soldiers. He was rescued by a woman, but later he was unable to find his benefactor. He ordered that women from Mingzhou can enjoy half a royal chariot when they get married, with phoenix crowns and rosy clouds, and sit beside them. The sedan chair. The sedan chair, commonly known as the "big red sedan chair", can be carried by four people or eight people. In the 1920s, the son of the owner surnamed Zhao of Ningbo Meiqiu Knitting Factory got married. He specially commissioned a high-quality sedan chair with more than 300 characters from the auspicious story engraved on it. , the Zhao family paid 500 yuan for the first time. This eight-person bridal sedan carries a sedan, and the bearers wear special satin mandarins of the same color to show off. Sitting in a sedan chair also means that the matchmaker is marrying and the first wife, and a woman can only sit once in her life. So when the husband and wife quarreled, the wife kept saying something to her lips: I was carried to the door in a big red sedan chair, not walked up to the door, in order to show off her nobility. On the wedding day, the sedan chair goes out and pure tea and four-color pastries are offered to the "sedan god". Guns and firecrackers were set off, red lanterns were used to clear the way, and winds and whistles were played along the way. The groom does not go to his father-in-law's house to welcome his bride, so he takes his bride's wife as his messenger and goes there with a name sticker.

Xiniang, the bride’s wife, uses five-color cotton yarn to remove the hair on the bride’s face, which is commonly known as “Kaomian” (containing the modern meaning of beauty). The guests enjoy eating “Kaomian Soup Fruit”. When the sedan chair arrives, the girl's family sets off firecrackers to welcome the sedan, then leaves the door open and "blocks the sedan door", waiting for the red envelope to be stuffed before opening it. When the sedan is parked, the sedan door must face outward. Someone from the woman's family will light a red candle and hold a mirror to look into the sedan to drive away the evil spirits hiding in the sedan, which is called "Searching the sedan".

The bride's family has a main banquet wine at noon, which is commonly known as "opening wine" and also called "wedding wine".

Before getting into the sedan chair, the bride is urged to make up by her bride three times. She pretends that she doesn’t want to get married and is too lazy to dress up (of course there are people who really don’t want to get married in feudal marriages), and then sits on her lap. Feeding the daughter rice on the sedan chair means not forgetting the kindness of nurturing her. There are three unusual customs: one is "crying on the sedan chair". When the daughter gets on the sedan chair, the mother cries to see her off. The words she cries are mostly blessings and exhortations, such as: "Oh, my daughter, you can carry it, it makes a roar! You go alone, come with the tide!" "Respect your parents-in-law." "Respect the blessings, respect the husband for having food to eat" and so on. The bride was moved and said goodbye with tears. Second, "get on the sedan chair." The bride is carried into the sedan by her elder brother. After entering the sedan and sitting down, her hips cannot move casually to ensure safety and stability. The third is to "pour out the ashes of fire". A fire harem burning with charcoal fire and spices is placed under the bride's seat, and a mat is tied to the rear bar of the sedan chair. It is commonly known as "the fire harem inside the sedan chair and the mat behind the sedan chair." When getting up the sedan, the girl's family sets off firecrackers and sprinkles tea leaves and rice grains on the top of the sedan. The bride's brothers walk with the sedan, which is called "sending the sedan off". In urban areas, people carrying sedan chairs have to go around to places such as Chitose Square or Sanfaqing (place name) in order to win the "Chitose" and "Sanfa" prizes. Brothers will return as soon as they arrive, and they must pack some ashes from the fire, light incense or cigarettes from the fire, and place them in the fire jar when they return home. This is commonly known as "pouring the ashes from the fire" or "catching the fire".

As the sedan chair enters the hall, the groom’s family plays music and sets off firecrackers to welcome the sedan chair. After the sedan stops, the sedan door is unloaded, and a five or six-year-old girl in full makeup (commonly known as "the bride getting out of the sedan") welcomes the bride out of the sedan. She gently pulls the bride's sleeves three times with her hands before getting out of the sedan. When the bride leaves the sedan chair, she first steps over a vermilion-painted wooden "saddle" and then steps on a red felt. She is supported by the bride's mother and stands on the right side of the wedding hall. At this time, when the groom heard that the sedan chair was coming in, he pretended to hide elsewhere, and was invited back by the little girl holding flowers and candles, standing on the left side. The layout of the wedding hall is the same as that in other places, but the worship ceremony is slightly different. There is a host, the father-in-law, who is usually the groom's grandfather or uncle. The person giving the incense, the groom, and the bride all follow the praise and gestures. The praisers shouted: "Let's go to the temple to see the ceremony, and play music!" (The music started) The person giving the blessing knelt down in front of the incense table, and everyone knelt down! First incense, second incense, third incense! Kowtow, kowtow again, kowtow three times! The praisers then sang: rise, level, reset! Kneel down, everyone is fragile! Singing: Sheng, bye! Liang, bye! Liang, bye! He also sang: Kneel down, everyone is fragile, and read the blessing chapter! A 13-14-year-old boy knelt on the right side of the Buddha worship bench and finished reading (recite it by heart in advance, so you can't read it wrong). The praisers sang again: Sheng, worship! Liang, bye! Liang, bye! The whole process is collectively referred to as "three kneels, nine kowtows, and six liters of worship." Finally, the praising person sang: After the ceremony, leave the class and send it to the bridal chamber! During this period, when the bride and groom are worshiping, there is a custom of kneeling in front of the bride. It is said that whoever kneels in front can control the latter in the future, which leads to a joke of kicking the mat while worshiping, and the groom standing up and refusing to worship.

After the complicated worship ceremony, two little ladies held dragon and phoenix candles to guide the bride, and the groom led the bride into the bridal chamber with colorful balls and silk ribbons. The feet must be stepped on the sacks to walk, usually there are 5 sacks, but there are also 10 sacks. After passing one, Xiniang and others will pass it on to the front and then spread it on the road, which means "carrying on the family line" and "meeting the five generations". After entering the bridal chamber, the man and woman sit on the edge of the bed on the left and right sides, which is called "sitting on the bed". A woman with both good fortune and longevity will slightly tap the bride's head with a scale pole, and then take off the "hood", which means "satisfaction", which is called "sitting on the bed". "A pocket square please." The groom takes a seat and leaves immediately, the bride changes her makeup, and the guests eat "makeup-changing soup and fruit." Afterwards, the groom and the bride perform a "visiting ceremony" and kneel down to meet each other in order according to their closeness and seniority, which is called "meeting the big and small". When worshiping, two large seats are placed in the hall. The couple who are being worshiped sit together. If one of them is deceased, the man will sit on the left and the woman will sit on the right, leaving the other one empty. After paying homage, a red envelope is given to the bride, commonly known as "meeting money". Parents-in-law do not pay red envelopes, they are called "daughter-in-law's own family". When the bride meets her peers, she bows to her. If the younger generation pays homage to her, the bride also gives "meeting money". Afterwards, a "waiting banquet" was held, with the bride sitting at the head of the table, and four women accompanying the banquet to persuade her to eat, but the bride was too many to actually eat. After the banquet, the wedding bride accompanies the bride to the kitchen for "personal circumcision". There are customs such as fishing for vermicelli and touching loaches, which is called the cook.

On the night of Helangjiu, the groom’s family prepares a banquet called "Helangjiu". The bride must pour wine for the elders and guests table by table, and the wine must be filled but not spilled. . The wine is red, the dishes are many, and the music plays hundreds of birds and phoenixes, dragons and phoenixes. During the banquet, when the bride was serving hot dishes (changing the soup), the Xi Niang shouted: "The bride is changing the soup (changing the makeup) and bowing! After the banquet, the Xi family invited two blessed and virtuous guests to the bridal chamber to greet the groom and bride. Perform the "three drinks and easy drinking" ceremony, and exchange wine glasses with each other after each drink (the newlyweds only take one sip). The person giving the congratulations must sing some words of congratulation, which are both playful and peaceful, such as: Congratulations to the bridegroom on the first glass of wine. If there is any gossip, people may want to listen to the bridegroom. After the second glass of wine to congratulate the bridegroom, everyone in the room discussed the matter secretly to be careful not to let others come to watch. The third glass of wine congratulates the groom and wishes the couple to grow old together and have a son soon.

It is night, and there is a custom of making noise in the new house. The proverb goes: "There is no big or small thing in three days." On the day of the wedding, the bride does not talk much to the guests. During the quarrel, the bride is teased to talk and looks at the buttons on her clothes. Five buttons are said to mean "the fifth son has passed the imperial examination". Looking at her ankles is said to mean she is looking at the longevity star. The commotion lasted until midnight. The groom then goes out to see off the guests, and the bride begins to spread the bedding. The bride is rewarded with a red envelope. If the bride thinks it is not enough, she will pretend not to leave, and waits for more money to be given before going out. The bride closes the door and the newlyweds eat "bedside fruit". When the groom goes to bed, the bride "sits on the candles." Do not blow out the candles and go to bed only when the candles are used up. There are also good tricks during the day, and at night they break open the door and jump out of the window to enter the new house and take away the groom's clothes. If the quarrel succeeds, the newlyweds will be fined with candies and cigarette money.