Ask for a super funny joke?

1: Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don't bake me to eat.

the man said: ok, then let me ask you some questions.

Squid is very happy and says, Take the exam!

Then this man roasted the squid ..

2: I had schizophrenia once, but now we have recovered.

3. An international student took a driver's license test in the United States, and the road sign ahead told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner,

"Turn left?"

A: "right"

So ... hung up ...

4: One day, mung bean committed suicide and jumped down from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot and turned into red beans; Has been pus, and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally became a black bean.

5: Xiao Ming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew ........................................................................................................................................................................ "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's the matter?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

8: A pair of corn fell in love ...

So they decided to get married ...

On the wedding day ...

One corn couldn't find another corn ...

The corn asked the popcorn beside it: Have you seen our corn?

popcorn: honey, people are wearing wedding dresses ......

9. The teacher played a Beethoven tune in the music class.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

1: Q: Two people fell into a trap. The dead are called dead, but what are the living?

A: call for help!

11: Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

answer: cloth is afraid of 1 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

reason: not (cloth) afraid of 1,, only (paper) afraid of one thousand.

12: One day, a mother-in-law took a bus ...

Sitting halfway, the mother-in-law didn't know the way ...

The mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, Where is this?

Driver: This is my ass …..

13: An egg went to the teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it turned into a preserved egg. One egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg is homeless, and as a result it becomes a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, resulting in a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and turned into a bad egg; An egg got married and turned into an asshole; An egg swam in the river and turned into a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and turned into a Hua Dan; An egg is riding a horse and holding a knife. It turns out that he is peking opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and the result becomes a dinosaur egg; One egg is male, and his wife is adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes a bastard; An egg ...

14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle answered first: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! Eagle tearfully: That year, I fell asleep, and the cat climbed the tree ... and then there was an owl ... < P > 15: Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery, and A said: I will buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang 5 miles if I win the grand prize, and eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day!

16: Why the Chicken Cross the Street

Answer to get another side

17: A: What is that man doing?

b: he's shaking.

a: why is he shaking?

b: he's cold.

a: oh, it turns out that shivering won't lead to cold drawing.

A: ...

18: A Mr. Banana was dating his girlfriend. It was very hot, so Mr. Banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend fell down ...

19: One sausage was kept in the refrigerator.

I felt very cold, and then I looked at the other one beside me, which made me feel a little comforted and said. As a result, the root said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle."

2: Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, I am so tired, I think my whole body has softened ......

21: This diver's movements are very difficult. He made a twist for three weeks, followed by a forward somersault for three and a half weeks, followed by a back somersault for a month.

22: mm got lost looking for a university. Meet a gentle professor.

MM: excuse me, how can I go to the university?

professor: only by studying hard can you go to college.

23: The director and the section chief * * * took the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief: You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let it go … soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to bear the big fart. What's the use of you?

24: Miss: Business is not good now!

boss: why?

Miss: "Bird flu ..."

25: A woman trembled when she met a robber and said, "I just graduated from XX school, but I haven't found a job, so I really don't have any money ..."

The robber even cried after hearing this, "Sister, I'm from XX school, too. Please take a good student ID card. Don't worry.

26: I want to talk to my girlfriend ML. My girlfriend said that I can't do it without taking a shower. She promised to wash "parts" in cold weather. After washing, my girlfriend was very shy and said, "Dear, you are lazy, where can you wash it ..." I even fainted after listening to it, and I just brushed my teeth. ~ ~ (A big taboo joke)

27: A blind beggar wears it.

A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred yuan.

after a walk, the drunk turned around and happened to see the blind man looking at the sun to tell the truth about the hundred-dollar bill.

The drunk came over and took back the money. "You fucking don't want to live, how dare you lie to me!"

The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said, "Brother, I'm really sorry. I'm here for a friend. He is blind and went to the toilet, but I'm actually dumb."

"Oh, that's right," so the drunk dropped the money and staggered away ...

28: Bird flu-it's all caused by "heaven shit"! ! !

There are two kinds of people who are extremely likely to get bird flu-1. "Animals"; 2. People who are "worse than animals" ... < P > 29: A: Hey, how did you learn to smoke?

B: I did when I stole the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve ~

C: Do you know why Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit?

AB: I don't know!

C: because Adam has no cigarettes! (Hint: homophonic word)

3: Someone just got abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with her new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the more angry he became, and he wanted to humiliate them. So I said hello politely and said contemptuously to my girlfriend's new love, "You don't dislike the secondhand goods I used!" Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend laughed and said, "One inch outside is old, and all inside is brand-new!"

31: When we broke up, she gave me a kiss, and it felt as real as People's Daily ...

32: I just saw something like a news scroll bar on the top of the computer screen of the teacher elder sister, and the words on it passed very quickly.

I am curious to ask: Are these lyrics?

Senior Sister: Yes!

Senior Sister: How did it pass so quickly? I didn't even see it clearly!

senior sister: from Jay Chou! !

33: Wife: I was blind and stepped in dog shit before I married you.

Dave: I'm the one who's really blind and stepped in shit to marry you.

shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there, you both stepped on it ...

34: College Entrance Examination Chemistry Question: A and B can be transformed into each other, B can generate C in boiling water, and C can be oxidized into D in the air. D smells like rotten eggs. What are A, B, C and D?

I answered: A is a chicken, B is a raw egg, C is a cooked egg, and D is of course a rotten egg!

35: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

a: eraser.

because of the eraser.

36: Q: What is it with three heads and one foot?

Answer: Three monsters with one head and one foot! ! ! ! ! !

37: The ant went to the desert. Why didn't he leave his footprints in the sand, but only a line?

answer: because it rides a bike!

The ant came home from the desert. He didn't inform anyone, but his family knew he was back! Why ah!

Answer: I saw his bicycle parked downstairs …….

38: One day, a female drug addict was caught in the police station. Police saw a tattoo on her hand and asked her why you tattooed your boyfriend's name on your hand. Is his name Xiaoliang ... Ah ... Yes. Come on, Say, is he taking drugs? Tell me quickly.

I saw the female drug addict look up with angry eyes.

She said to police,

It's hate ...

4: One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive.

The car was almost out of gas, and there was a gas station next to it. When driving past, suddenly a gust of wind blew her boyfriend's hat.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her,

"I'll get my hat, and you cheer me up.

Not long after her boyfriend ran away, she heard Xiaomei shouting behind him:

"Come on! Come on!

41: An orangutan passed through the Woods and accidentally picked up the feces of a gibbon.

The kind orangutan cleaned up the apes.

Soon they fell in love, and people asked how you got together.

The orangutan replied, "It's ape dung (fate)!"

42:: There was a fat man ..........

who jumped from a tall building ...

He turned into a fat man ...

43: There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, when he was crossing the road, he was hit by a car and shouted, "Gung!" From then on, it became a cucumber ...

44: There was a penguin whose home was very far from the polar bear's. If you walk, it would take 2 years to get there. One day, Penguin stayed at home and was very bored. He was going to play with the polar bear, so he went out, but halfway through the road, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It had been 1 years since he left, but the door still had to be locked, so Penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out to look for the polar bear again, which means it took him 4 years to get to the polar bear's house ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin is looking for you to play!" " And guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? "Let's go to your house to play ~"

45: The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, not that much." "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "I'm sorry, I still haven't." "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ！” The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" "

46: Xiao Ming said, "Kang, ask you," A shark ate a mung bean, and what did it become? Kang said, "I don't know. What's the answer? Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are stupid!

47: The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution. Classmate A: Make the lunch box blue.

48: There was a man who had a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor, "I eat watermelon and cucumber! "The doctor thought about it and said to him," I think you have to eat shit! "

49: On the plane, an air hostess asked a little girl, "Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?" "The little girl replied," I know, because the stars will flash!

5: There was a polar bear playing with a penguin. The penguin plucked the hairs off his body one by one. After plucking, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold! "When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said," It's really cold! "

51: Q: What do African cannibals eat?

A: people!

Q: then one day, the chief was ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. what did he eat?

A: vegetable eater!

52: There are two sausages in the refrigerator. After a long time,

they shook with each other. Wow! It's so cold ~

another sausage said in surprise, huh? You're a sausage. How can you talk?

53: One day,

a male deer ran faster and faster.

At the end,

it became a high-speed male deer.

54: One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits.