Text/Pini

Recently there was an article on the Internet "Where are all the people in their 40s in the company?" " is very popular. It tells the story of some professional managers between the ages of 35 and 45 who encounter mid-life crises in work and life. In many companies, those born in the 1980s and 1990s have become the mainstream, while people in their 40s are leaving in droves. Except for a few senior managers, there are few people born in the 1960s and 1970s.

This article reads:

“This group of people are very confused and anxious. They don’t know where to go. They are old and young, and they are burdened with the burden of life. . In order to prove the value of their existence, this group of people often engage in weird and extraordinary behaviors, such as extramarital affairs. Of course, changing their workplace identities is also a way to continue their original life trajectory. ”

"Compared with middle-aged people, young people are optimistic or even overly optimistic. Older people have a calm mind, while middle-aged people have more regrets. They have careers and families, but they are not sure whether they are You still want more, or you hesitate to settle for the status quo.”

In China today, the midlife crisis seems to have become an inescapable nightmare. Just when this topic was being discussed in full swing, I met Uncle Zuo.

Uncle Zuo lives in Taicang, Suzhou, Jiangsu, a place rich in Wu Nong’s soft language. In 2016, when he was nearly 40 years old, he also made a "weird and extraordinary" behavior - he gave up 16 years of civil servant life and changed from a middle-aged director within the system to a free "artistic young man".

"Is this transformation also to deal with the mid-life crisis?"

"Absolutely!"

Uncle Zuo said, "Some people are destined to be He was beaten to death on the beach by the waves." Before he was beaten to death on the beach, he wanted to try the possibility of doing something he liked.

1.

When he was still working at the company, Uncle Zuo developed a habit of recording "today's schedule" every morning. After resigning, Uncle Zuo continued his habit. Every morning he would post his "to do list" for the day on his WeChat Moments: "Online version typesetting; interview finalization; two activities in the afternoon and evening", "Douban new work release; art Negotiations at the museum; symposium in Nanyuan; writing a book review of "Eating for One Person", collecting correspondence and finalizing the book outside the food festival. "...

It is not easy for him to have such a life. He is no longer a single young man in his twenties, and has a lot of time to waste on the things he likes; he has an elderly person to take care of, and a daughter to take to and from school to help with homework.

“Every day always starts with a chaotic morning, walking the dog and feeding the cat, cleaning and sweeping, preparing breakfast, squeezing in the morning rush hour to go to school, returning home to clean up the mess, and sitting in front of the computer. It’s almost nine o’clock. In the past few weeks, I have often been embarrassed that I can’t take care of lunch, let alone being able to sit down and write something. Time is divided into fragments, and there is a feeling in my heart that I can’t catch it. Feeling."

"My child's class was closed for a week because of the flu, so I spent a week as an incompetent elementary school teacher, a not very fun playmate, and a father who was not very good at cooking. , I finally had the time to ask someone to do an interview, but the old mother’s old tooth disease recurred, her whole face was swollen, and she needed to be sent to the doctor.”

“I finally understand why the more ordinary life is. , the more it can wear down people's will and feelings. If this state is not squeezed hard, it may sink to the point where there is nothing left, let alone the so-called poetry and the distance. "

In the middle age. When you encounter reality, you have no choice but to "screw it as hard as you can."

2.

Wu Xiaobo wrote an article "All youth is preparing for middle age": "In this middle-aged afternoon, you can sit with peace of mind in Li Drink a cup of good Dancong tea on the lawn in the east. You have enough mood and knowledge to read a slightly boring book. There are friends who are willing to spend their lives chatting with you. You can waste your time on watching movies and mountain climbing. All these boring good things have costs, and their investment period is all in your youth."

The reason why Uncle Zuo gave up the life in the system is. It is also because of some "investments" made during youth. This investment is both financial and technical.

Born into an ordinary family, he had long been worried about making a living to support himself. The story of a teacher in high school always touched him. The teacher resigned and went to work, but failed one after another. He wanted to return to his original employer, but the Education Bureau did not allow it. When Uncle Zuo graduated, he firmly believed that it would be better to have a stable job. Therefore, he entered the system and worked for 16 years to earn enough capital for his dream life.

Of course, during these 16 years, Uncle Zuo was not an expressionless person who lived a mechanical life with a numb soul. "The things I want to do have never stopped."

As early as 2000, he started to run a website "Left Channel", which is an artistic and petty bourgeois literature website. There are "graphic designs with large areas of blank space, simple folk-style music, books with mixed flavors of life, movies with simple plots and beautiful images, and travels that prefer ordinary alleys in the city." Many times he writes it himself, slowly. Slow attracted some people with similar interests to contribute. After going through the blog era, the Weibo era, and the WeChat public account era, this website is like a child, staggering and growing until now.

He has done interviews, written, DJ broadcasts, and reading promotions, and has done all kinds of literary and artistic things, and he has continued to do so until now. He was well-known in the local literary and art circles, and contracts and part-time jobs made him feel that this path was feasible.

"After solving basic problems such as food, clothing, housing and transportation, I finally have the opportunity to turn around."

When Uncle Zuo resigned from the system, he had the opportunity to compete for a higher-level cadre position . When I think about what I want to do and haven't done it yet, I lose interest in my future life as a cadre.

In addition, thinking about the endless office politics, he felt that leaving might be a better choice. "There are many routines within the system, which are all concepts of 'box' and 'pit'. You always think you are in the box, but the pit is not left to you; when you feel that the pit is yours, but you are not in the box, it doesn't matter. ."

When he completed the resignation procedures, Uncle Zuo suddenly felt relieved. "If you don't care anymore, none of this will matter anymore." He was referring to the fact that in the past few years, in order to "get on top", he had spared no effort to force himself to adapt to this kind of life situation that he didn't like.

3.

Year-round life in a small town in the south of the Yangtze River and the characteristics of Libra have created Uncle Zuo's slow pace. Chatting with him, you can't feel the common anxiety in big cities, nor can you feel the desperate struggle of middle-aged people to highlight the value of their existence.

He is willing to return to his family, take his children to school, and accompany his parents back to his hometown; he is also willing to lie in front of the computer desk in the study room at home, typing away.

"It's not like I haven't been anxious before." He talked about his anxiety when he was 30 years old. Not married yet, with no financial foundation, except for a stable job, it seems that nothing has come yet. At that time, I had many ideas and ambitions, but I always failed because I was not ready.

Only when you have experienced anxiety can you understand.

"There is really nothing to be afraid of in your thirties. Anxiety only shows that you are not practicing enough. If you say that you are anxious in your twenties because you are too young and too impetuous, it makes sense. But in your thirties Still feeling anxious means that all these years of hard work have been in vain. "This sentence is very suitable for Uncle Zuo.

It is precisely because of his experience that when facing the "mid-life crisis", he also implemented his transformation in a more gentle way.

Now, Uncle Zuo has made some arrangements for his life, completing a book he wants to write; helping with interviews and writing for public media; and planning a topic for a story about ordinary people in a small city. .....Next, he also wants to open a book bar of his own. "I have accumulated some funds and connections over the years, and everything has come naturally."

Of all things in the world, people are the most interesting. After getting rid of that stereotyped life, Uncle Zuo's next goal is to become a fun and interesting person.

He wants to find his own fun in the deep sea of ??life.