Hello, I'm Sister D.

In the program "Send 1 Girls Home", the singer A Si revealed her troubles in urging marriage.

I ate fried chicken music in People's Square: A Si-Premeditated Encounter

As her career became more and more successful, her songs became more and more popular. Instead of asking her to choose a spouse carefully, her parents advised her to lower the criteria for choosing a spouse.

"The man doesn't have to earn a lot of money, as long as two people live well."

and boss himself feels that the conditions for love are becoming more and more open. The only worry is that the other person will mind earning more ...

Seeing this, Sister D is a little puzzled-

Isn't it because women are desperately trying to gain a foothold in society that they have more choices? Ordinary people know that choosing the best partner, why are successful women required to lower their standards?

I wonder if you have noticed that in recent years, the Internet has been full of opinions urging women to lower their standards of mate selection.

Liang Jianzhang, a demographic economist, said in an interview:

"Women may have to be a little more open in the concept of choosing a spouse, and they don't have to find someone better than themselves, and they also have to accept that men are not as good as themselves."

There are always people who teach girls to step back from God's perspective, but no one ever tells boys to move forward.

In "Daughters in Love", Kym, 39, talked about the criteria for choosing a spouse:

"He is over one meter eight, with big eyes and a high nose. He should look good when he smiles, and he is an outsider."

I didn't expect to be "humiliated" by netizens:

"You deserve to be single with such high standards of mate selection."

"I'm old enough to be a grandmother in the country and still live in fantasy."

is this a high standard?

Not to mention Jinsha's sweet voice, I think that when she debuted, she reached the peak, and a song could win many men and women. This standard stood side by side with her.

But the public doesn't think so. They think older young women are like food that is about to expire. It's good that others can want you, but it's not your turn to pick others.

female stars can be subjected to such remarks, not to mention ordinary people.

In the documentary The Leftover Women in China, there is a 35-year-old woman named Qiu Huamei.

She graduated from China University of Political Science and Law. After graduation, she became a well-known lawyer in a law firm in Beijing. Her work was excellent and her ability was top-notch, but she was excluded by everyone because she was single.

Her parents advised her not to be too demanding. My sister said that being single at an older age was different, and even the children called her "Aunt Single".

In desperation, Qiu Huamei started a long blind date.

there, she was even more discriminated against.

Mingming's criteria for choosing a spouse can't be lower:

"As long as you have received a good education and respect women, you can try."

However, I was mercilessly attacked by the marriage introducer:

"At your age, you really don't have any competitiveness. Don't think I'm ugly, and you're not a beauty. "

Qiu huamei retorted: I am 34 years old, which is a very good age.

But the introducer only replied questioningly: Oh?

do you see it? Social malice towards outstanding older single women seems to have always existed.

even if they are both talented and attractive and successful in their careers, if they are not married, they will still accomplish nothing in the eyes of the previous generation.

Compared with a woman's talent and ability, people are more interested in her appearance, age and fertility.

very confused.

with the same successful career, women are required to lower the standard of mate selection, while men are required to raise the standard of mate selection?

There was a 38-year-old male guest at the New Blind Date Conference in 221.

He is handsome, tall, and has a master's degree in finance. As a department manager in a bank, he looks really qualified.

Although he is nearly 4 years old, he is determined to find a "perfect wife" based on his own favorable conditions.

and his definition of the perfect wife is extremely harsh.

Especially for the appearance, he said that he must grow up in his own aesthetic point, and decide life and death at a glance.

I also took out a picture I drew, saying that girls have a high nose and big eyes.

Eyes are more important, and you must be a little melancholy.

remember, it's a little melancholy, a little melancholy! Too much and too little, not even a little bit.

After that, Chen Ze's mother added:

"We used to ask for perfection, but now we can score 7 out of 1."

The implication is that "we are already making do".

Age is a completely different picture for boys and girls. Being older than women is like a fading agent. With the growth of age, other advantages and aura will be eclipsed.

For men, it's like a filter. The older you get, the more mature you become, and the more popular you get. Even at the age of 38, you still need to find someone who can even tell the melancholy in your eyes.

Think of the online saying:

Men who are excellent will gain the admiration of women; When a woman is excellent, she will gain loneliness.

On the other hand, women who are excellent will gain men's sense of crisis.

When choosing a spouse, many men will choose the brightest woman, but once they get married, they will be afraid that women will be too flashy to cover up their position.

As Bridgette said:

"Some men are very strange. They don't like ordinary ordinary women who stay at home, but they want to marry some independent, bright and capable women and then keep them at home to have children."

So Sister D thinks, instead of calling on women to lower the standard of mate selection every day, should men improve their own quality and change the narrow concept of "men are strong and women are weak"?

The prejudice against women in this society will never disappear unless the narrow concept is changed.

Fortunately, women will not disturb their rhythm because of heavy prejudice.

According to the Survey Report on China's Views on Marriage and Love between Men and Women in 221-222, one-third of men said that they would lower the standard of mate selection, but less than 2% of women held the same idea, while only 2% of men and more than 4% of women said that they would not lower the standard of mate selection.

Nowadays, girls know very well that they are wandering all the way not for the sake of cheap men, but for their own achievements, and they will not lock up their choices because of the so-called "older singles".

that's why Kym said, "lowering the criteria for choosing a spouse is tantamount to denying my past, and I can't do it."

Ada said, "I have never dropped. It has been a long life, and I am still full of expectations."

Qin Lan played a 33-year-old single girl in last year's hit drama Life of Reason.

Everyone advised her to "almost get it", even her mother ridiculed her that "older girls have no headstrong capital", but she still refused to lower the criteria for choosing a spouse:

"I'd rather be alone all the time than experience an unhappy marriage."

and sister d has seen a street interview with something in @ sister paper, the theme of which is "will it lower the standard of choosing a spouse if you find that you can't get married?"

All the girls said in unison,

"It's impossible to lower it."

"Because I am also excellent."

"It is better to lack than to abuse."

look.

The value of women has never been determined by marriage.

There is no such thing as getting married at the right time. For the sake of others' expectations, we blindly cater to, compromise and wronged ourselves.

There is never a uniform standard in this world. The only standard is yourself.

If you choose to lower the standard of choosing a spouse at this moment, then the next moment, you will have to compromise in life.

why bother?

Think of what Professor Liang Yongan said:

"Many women are older and unmarried, but they just don't want to settle. This is not a failure. Love can't settle. They are real living people. They are pursuing their true love and maintaining a very cherished value in their spirit. You can't just start a relationship, you won't be pushed into marriage by the secular, but you should carefully choose the only true love in your life. "

So, girls, don't handcuff your hands with worldly shackles.

the purpose of our higher education is to get rid of prejudice and break taboos, and on the other hand, to have the initiative and choice in any aspect.

Don't chase the moon-

Sooner or later, the moon will come for you.