Why do you feel so tired?

Why is your life always a mess?

In fact, everyone has their own difficulties, but many people do not realize that some fatigue is actually caused by themselves. Because you waste too much unnecessary emotions on unworthy people and things.

Emotions are invisible, but they are enough to make people get lost and collapse.

In life, many unpleasant little things may make people feel wronged, angry, want to cry, sad...

Miss Xiao has entered the society for 5 years, and her biggest feeling is tired. She is very kind, introverted and sensitive. From what she told, it seemed like her life was pretty bad.

A colleague in the same department did something wrong, which caused her to be implicated, and she was criticized by her boss for nothing;

She originally made an appointment to go shopping with friends for dinner, but was The boss temporarily called me back to work overtime. After working overtime and coming home very late, she ordered a delicious meal, but the delivery boy accidentally knocked it over;

He was kind enough to help a friend, but was said to be scheming and unreliable;

The client who signed the contract immediately was snatched away by a colleague with whom she was close;

When she was about 500 meters away, it started pouring rain, and she was drowned...

In fact, no one wants to be a person full of complaints and negative energy. However, these trivial things in life often wear down a person's patience and gentleness, and breed a myriad of emotions.

Ms. Xiao felt that bits and pieces of bad things were connected together to form her own bad state. It seemed like she couldn't talk about the things she wanted to complain about all day and night.

Are our lives really that bad? Is it crushing?

Not necessarily.

Lao Wang believes that in many cases, it is not something or someone that makes people collapse. Rather, the emotions generated behind it will be like countless seeds, sown in the heart. Over time, they will grow into a jungle full of thorns, so every day's struggle and struggle will bring hurt. Even a small thing can pierce you.

What is really bad is not the thing itself, but your emotions. Too many people waste their emotions on unworthy people and things without ever realizing it, causing them to fall into the quagmire of life.

Lao Wang suggested that everyone needs to be vigilant from the following three aspects:

1. Endless complaints

Lao Wang found that those who are really facing difficulties People are often strong, while people who often complain are trapped in trivial matters. Ms. Xiao in the previous article felt that the difficult things in life were all small things that she couldn't think about or let go of.

But is it really worth carrying the exhausting emotions over these things?

If you are implicated in someone else’s mistakes, you can actually prove your ability and value with actions and results in the future.

I was asked by my boss to work overtime. I missed one appointment, but I also gained more workplace value. Moreover, since there is no right to refuse, why not treat overtime actively and make these time truly valuable instead of being consumed by complaints.

If you don’t have takeout, you can still cook yourself a bowl of hot noodles and weave warmth for yourself with your own hands.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but the more someone complains, the more likely they are to be unlucky. The more people smile all day long, the more likely they are to encounter good things.

Lao Wang believes that it is human nature to complain before encounters happen; only those who resolve problems beforehand are strong.

In fact, there are not many things in life that are unsolvable. It’s just that many people are used to staying at the level of emotional reactions, but lack the sobriety and transparency to face problems head-on. When you focus on truly meaningful things and use actions to solve problems, you will no longer be hampered by trivial matters.

2. Unprincipled kindness

Kindness is a shining quality, but unprincipled kindness is worthless except making you more tired or getting into trouble.

So much so that in today’s society, helping an elderly person cross the road has become a show of wealth, and helping others show the way has become a high-risk behavior.

The prerequisite for helping a person is that he is worthy of help and worthy of the value you pay for him.

In life, there are always some people who, with a few words of flattery, will help others without hesitation; when others make requests, they are embarrassed to refuse; when others show weakness and suffer misfortune, they are willing to take the blame. The greatest ability of a pleaser personality is to build a self-imposed prison.

On the surface, you use kindness to help others, but in essence, you are using kindness to flog yourself.

In fact, many people do not necessarily want to get benefits in return when they help others, but it needs to be clear that you must ensure that your kindness is not taken advantage of, so that your kindness will produce good results.

Life is not a fairy tale. Good things will be rewarded with good things, which is the original intention, but good things may not necessarily happen. The story of "Farmer and Snake" has been going on.

Lao Wang believes that using one's kindness without principles is the greatest irresponsibility for oneself.

Facing this world, we must be kind and stay kind. But while giving kindness, you also need to use your wisdom and emotional intelligence to make correct judgments.

Not everyone is worthy of your kindness.

3. Meaningless regret

It is virtue to know your mistakes and correct them, but it is cowardice to be deeply regretful.

For Xiaojia, a working professional, the last time the tender document she was responsible for producing had major flaws in the quotation, causing the company to lose the bidding opportunity.

Xiao Jia burst into tears in the office and apologized to her colleagues and boss again and again. The boss's attitude was calm. He asked Xiaojia to learn from this lesson and not make the same mistake in the future.

The boss has always regarded Xiaojia very highly, and Xiaojia will be fully responsible for some key projects. Therefore, the boss's tolerance also made Xiaojia fall into deeper self-blame.

Xiao Jia said, "I can bear any bad consequences for myself, but I can't forgive the trouble or loss I bring to others."

Indeed, many people are here In this situation, emotions will be allowed to spread. But in fact, excessive regret and self-blame are essentially selfish behaviors. Because it can soothe inner guilt to a certain extent, and at the same time, it can create a responsible image of oneself. So in essence, excessive regret is still self-serving.

Lao Wang believes that it is even more important to restrain emotions and stay rational in the face of mistakes. Because regret can neither save you from defeat nor make up for the mistakes you have made. It only indulges cowardice, erodes self-confidence, makes you more negative, and makes things worse.

A truly responsible person will focus on the future, conduct self-review, make up for mistakes, and adjust themselves to have a good future.

Write it at the end

Only by letting go of unworthy people and things and facing the world soberly can you let yourself go and live your life.

For the rest of your life, please waste it on beautiful things.

XinZhi.com