Li Xun finally realized the inner feelings of a middle-aged unemployed man.

Just yesterday, the day before New Year's Eve, he lost his job.

Before entering the personnel office, Li Xun never thought that he would lose his job one day.

there is a reason why he thinks so.

who is Li Xun? Jiangnan province, the capital city, was born in a superior family when he was young, and he was rich, so he made a group of friends with the same rotten tastes.

After successively losing her parents in her youth, Li Xun, when she grew up, completed her college education with the support of her relatives and friends.

After graduation, he gradually matured and completed his life stage step by step-getting married and having children.

He once won the titles of "excellent employee" and "model worker" in the company.

Now he is 47 years old, married, with two boys, a sophomore in high school and a large kindergarten class, and his wife is at home full-time.

Li Xun's head was still covered until he walked out of the personnel office and returned to his work station.

After graduation, Li Xun has worked in this company for nearly twenty years. He is already in the middle of the R&D department. Because of the company's strategic adjustment, all departments will be optimized, and their departments will be laid off. In hindsight, he realized that the vice president in charge of research and development left a month ago.

Even though there were many complaints and dissatisfaction with the company's inhuman practices, Li Xun suppressed his anger and signed the list of "voluntary resignation" before leaving work. After many years in the workplace, he knew that if he didn't sign it, even the pitiful severance payment might not be obtained. The company has many means to make him leave more awkwardly.

even if you imagine in your mind that you are dead against the company. But it's just imagination. Family doesn't allow it, and time doesn't allow it.

at 5: 31 in the evening, with the last touch of sunset disappearing into the horizon, Li Xun walked out of the office building with a cardboard box in his arms. Office workers are busy in and out of banners, red lanterns and Spring Festival couplets hanging in celebration of the Spring Festival. A happy New Year scene.

Look around at the people who come and go in a hurry. He used to be one of them, but from tomorrow on, this place will not belong to him.

Today, the first time he went back, he actually left here.

even if you have a sense of ownership and always think about the company, you are still a pawn in the eyes of the boss. In some ways, as for the company, the individual seems to be the wind, seems to have been here, and seems to have never been here. For others, you feel nothing.

After an hour's cold wind blowing in the pavilion of the residential area, Li Xun put the personal belongings brought by the company in the shoe cabinet at the door, bowed his head and rubbed his face several times, and after trying to smile several times, he opened the door of his home.

There was a lot of singing and laughing in the room. When Li Xun came in, the youngest son rushed to him from the living room and hugged his thigh and said, "Dad, Dad, look, I made the lantern myself!"

Only then did Li Xun find his son holding a simple red lantern in his hand and replied perfunctorily, "Well done, my son is great!"

The child also wants to talk to him about how hard he worked to make this lantern. And he obviously has no patience to listen to anything he says.

perfunctory: "awesome, awesome, awesome".

The wife who was busy in the kitchen obviously noticed his arrival and called the name of her youngest son: "Jun Jun, dad has been busy all day. Let dad have a drink of water before listening to you."

The youngest son is carried by his mother every day, and he listens to her very much. He loosens the leg holding his father and says, "Oh!"

At this moment, Li Xun quickly stepped into the living room, went to the sofa and fell down. He didn't feel alive until he fell into the sofa. The string that has been stretched from the office is completely loose.

the first thing that comes to mind is what should I do?

yes, what should I do? Without income, what about the mortgage? What about car loans? What about the cost of children's schooling? What about daily expenses?

Looking up at the small home with only two cities and one living room that he and his wife built up little by little, Li Xun felt a little relieved, and then thought that he had left his job, and he felt a little dejected.

The wife is busy in the kitchen with her little son. He wants to tell her about his work. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, so telling him now will also add to her burden, or wait until after the New Year.

I think the compensation given by the company will reach the bank card in the middle of the month, and I can maintain my life for at least a few months. At present, I still give the new year first.

Li Xun collapsed on the sofa, her mind churning.

After a while, my wife's voice came from the dining room: "Dinner."

pinching her eyebrows, Li Xun stood up and walked to the dining table and sat down

"Where's Yaya?"

Yaya, their eldest son. Play around in class at ordinary times. After graduating from junior high school two years ago, Li Xun managed to get him a place in a private high school. Even so, his study was just so-so, and he was in the middle and lower reaches of his class.

Because of this, Li Xun hit him, tried to persuade him, but it seems that he didn't. Now I'm still out at night and I can't find anyone else at home all day.

"I went down to Mao Mao's house in his class and came back after dinner."

Li Xun and his wife are both from the Central Plains, and they usually like to eat pasta such as steamed buns and steamed bread.

for dinner, millet gruel, steamed bread with mixed flour and a stir-fried shredded potato.

Looking at his wife's face, which is obviously several years older than the people around him because of taking care of the family, Li Xun opened her mouth and closed it, and finally gave up.

after a simple dinner, clean up the kitchen.

The wife walked up to Li Xun, who was staring at her mobile phone and lost in thought. "Tomorrow will be the Spring Festival. What can I get from your uncle's house?"

In previous years, every Spring Festival, I would go home to give incense to my parents, have dinner with my uncle and uncle, and go back to my parents' home for a few days on the second day.

Li Xun replied weakly: "Whatever you took last year is what you take this year."

with that, I stood up: "I'm a little tired today. I'll take a shower first."

When his wife saw that he had no desire to talk, she opened her mouth and closed it silently. She turned around and took out her mobile phone to call her eldest son to ask him to come back.

Not surprisingly, Li Xun lost sleep this evening.

Everything in the company during the day keeps popping up in my mind, and those clips, like movies, keep popping up in my mind over and over again.

In the end, it all turned into one sentence: "How did my life become like this?"

Li Xun quietly wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, as if he had returned to childhood. That carefree childhood is his ultimate dream now.

At five o'clock in the morning, Li Xun, who was open until dawn, looked at his sleeping wife and little son.

I got up and put on my own clothes, went to the small kitchen to steam buns and cut some pickled pickles from my wife.

Sometimes, Li Xun wants to hate the rich. The world is full of malice to him. When he lost his parents in his youth, he finally got married. He thought he would live a stable life, but he didn't expect to be unemployed.

when people are middle-aged, they live in a chicken feather.

After a simple breakfast, my wife helped Li Xun put the new year's goods in the car he bought with a loan. Originally intended to buy excessive cars, Li Xun has already felt the great malice of life.

At noon on New Year's Eve, they arrived at their hometown.

At lunch, my uncle seemed to see what was on his mind and said, "Life is like this. If you endure it, it will pass."

this sentence seems to have a little weight, but it doesn't seem to have. Other people's comfort seems to be scratching their boots.

Li Xun nodded perfunctorily, wondering if he had listened.

When the child is older, he knows more, and some words can't be said too thoroughly, so the uncle stops talking.

New Year's Eve dinner has always been one of the grand and grand ceremonies at home. Since the death of his parents, Li Xun has spent the New Year's Eve with his uncle's family.

the food is very rich, but he has no interest in tasting it. The problem of how to support his family without a job seems to have been bothering him.

That's all. Those who celebrate the New Year don't have to think about these frustrating things. "Everything will work out in the end." Everything is possible until the end of the rope. "

Li Xun thought. He looked at his wife, who got along well with his sister-in-law, and his eldest son was not in a tense state with himself at home, and happily shared his little secret with his cousin.

Li Xun also grinned. Although he lost his job, his family was around and there was fireworks around him. People should not be too greedy.

A few days' annual leave is fleeting, and it's time for Li Xun's family to return home. Aunt, as always, filled the trunk.

After eating and drinking in the past few years, Li Xun seems to have gained some weight and changed his mood.

With the end of the holiday, Li Xun's slightly relieved mood for the Chinese New Year is tense again.

I have been submitting resumes since the holiday, and I haven't received an interview call so far.

every day, he is idle at home, and his mood is extremely anxious. A casual sentence makes him fly into a rage and triggers a family scuffle.

Yaya, the eldest son who has entered adolescence, seems to be his nemesis, and he is away from home for three days.

I said it and called it, but it didn't seem to have any effect.

No, the son's coming home late again made the smell of gunpowder between them diffuse again.

"You've been fooling around outside all day. Are you going to beg for food in the future?"

Obviously, my son is absolutely ungrateful. "Stay out of my business and do whatever I want."

"I am your father, and I take care of you for granted." Obviously, his son's words made him even more angry.

"I just don't listen to you. What can you do?"

Li Xun was so angry that he waved the broom in the living room and wanted to hit him. Yaya obviously didn't want to be beaten passively, so she reached out and grabbed the front end of the broom.

Li Xun broke free several times without breaking free. Looking at his son, who is half a head taller than himself, he suddenly felt a little depressed. Throw away the broom and go straight to the bedroom.

I was devastated: I can't help being a mother when my child is older. What Yaya looked like when he was a child came to my mind. At that time, he was so cute and considerate.

The wife, who was on the sidelines, squatted on the ground, burying her face in tears, while the younger son stood on the sofa at a loss. He was watching cartoons before the fight.

The voice of "I will come back again" on TV is particularly loud, but no one cares anymore.

In any case, the days are still flowing downwards. Li Xun, who has been resigned for a month, finally received an interview call. Sweep away the haze of the past. Li Xun, who hung up the phone, tried to suppress the excitement in her heart and happily took out the suit that she usually didn't want to wear from the closet.

He spent two months' salary on this suit when he got married. Although it has been more than ten years, even though Li Xun keeps a good figure and doesn't gain too much weight, this suit is still a little tight to wear. But he was very happy. He looked and looked in the mirror in a suit and was very satisfied with himself.

Thinking of tomorrow's interview, Li Xun gestured to herself in the mirror.

The next morning, Li Xun woke up and turned to look at her side. His wife had already got up. This period of time at home, so that his wife has a sense of urgency. What he said to his wife in the restaurant last night and what he interviewed today seem to have made him full of hope for life.

Get up and put on yesterday's suit. After a simple breakfast, he left home at a brisk pace.

The company interviewed is a hot Internet outsourcing business at present. It's just 8: 31 in the morning when he arrived at the company.

He was interviewed by a young man born in 1991s. Even though Li Xun is humble and honest.

After reading his resume, he obviously questioned his ability.

Give him a cold field and a hot air, and let him go back and wait for the notice after disdain. Although he was annoyed, Li Xun calmly walked out of the company that made him lift his head.

leaving this towering office building, Li Xun can't stand it any longer. Suddenly took off his suit jacket and smoked hard to the ground. It seems that only in this way can the broken heart be healed.

Even so, the young man's words kept appearing in my mind. Even if I wanted to get rid of him from my mind, I still firmly said years ago, "A man in his forties, how did you mix up your life like this?"

Yes, how did my life get mixed up like this?

Li Xun wants to ask himself the same question.

venting can't solve the problem, but you still have to live. After wandering in the street for several hours, Li Xun staggered home.

The wife who opened the door saw his look and silently brought out the dinner without speaking.

The youngest son who went to kindergarten obediently sat beside him, but the eldest son still didn't come back, saying that he was studying at a classmate's house.

Li Xun knows that since the last quarrel with his son, his son has tried to avoid him, telling his mother everything, and his relationship with his father is gradually drifting away.

At dinner, my youngest son, Jun Jun, kept saying that the teacher planned to take graduation photos for the class, and each child needed to pay 2,111 yuan.

What Li Xun hates most now is money. "What to shoot, don't shoot, it's girly!"

Although the youngest son is usually a well-behaved child, he is still a child. As soon as his rice bowl is pushed, he lies on the ground and says, "I want to shoot, and the teacher says the whole class will shoot" and asks for support: "Mom, I want to shoot!"

The wife looked at Li Xun's face and gently coaxed her son: "Let's shoot you, let's shoot you, let's eat!"

"That's how children are spoiled by you. If I say no, I won't shoot. I am the master of this family. "

Li Xun said, threw away the chopsticks and walked out of the restaurant.

looking at the messy dining table, the wife picked up her son and coaxed him gently, and she lost her appetite.

As time goes by, Li Xun's job is still unsettled, and anxious people seem to find no desire to vent anywhere.

It's not the way to make a living. Li Xun can only lower his standards and start a running career.

Because I'm a novice, sometimes I only pay four or five bills a day, and it's only a few tens of dollars, excluding the kickbacks from the platform. But in any case, the family has not always been open source.

After running for a while, Li Xun found that he would earn more by running drip at night. So I began the day when I stayed up by day and went out by night. .

The days seem to be getting on the right track, ranging from one hundred yuan a day to two or three hundred yuan a day.

But the money for Jun Jun's photo shoot was still too much for the children, so I paid it up.

On this day, he was waiting for someone by the roadside.

two young people came up this time. Even through the mask, Li Xun saw at a glance that the slightly shorter one on the right was his eldest son Yaya.

"I said, Li Ya, you can. Your family didn't rush you at this late hour, and I was bombarded by the phone at home."

"In my family, I am in charge of my affairs, but my father can't control me."

"Hey, Li Ya, don't say, I envy you so much!"

"I envy you. You can buy whatever you want. Last time I saw your qq coat, was it the latest version?"

"I'll give you a set tomorrow!"

"then I will really accept it.