1 A blind man lighting a lamp may not be a kind of stupidity, or it may be a kind of wisdom or even magnanimity.

2 You will feel very happy when you are silent for a while, but when you are silent for a while, you will feel happy. Silence is miserable

3 Romance without money, I can hold your hand and walk on the beach full of white sand

4 Smiling indulgently is my only pride.

5 You are truly a beauty. That is to say, you are only beautiful in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

6. Whatever you write, will you believe it if you write it? What? You really believe it, why are you so naive!

7 If you have nothing to do, hold a class reunion and break up a pair to be a pair!

8 Love words are told by liars to fools.

9 I had known that looking back five hundred times in my past life could lead to meeting you in this life. I should cut my head off in exchange for meeting you in this life.

10 The flowers on the Naihe Bridge have witnessed the prosperity of whose two lives?

11 There is only memory left to show off, even if it is just to talk about it.

12 A strong life needs no explanation.

13 Longing for the ordinary but unwilling to settle for the ordinary.

14 We misunderstand dependence as love.

15 When mice show their power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

16 One month before the exam, I thought: strive for first place; one week before: just work hard; after the exam: the most important thing is to participate.

17. Who farted that afternoon? They said it was love - heard but not seen.

18 Life is her person, death is her mascot.

19 It’s so cold that even taking a shower requires courage.

20 If the sun doesn’t come out, I won’t go to work; if it does, I’ll continue to sleep!

21 Memories always slap me in the face, pointing at old wounds and not allowing me to forget.

22. Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart. . .

23 My lover calls me the third party!

It’s been 24 days and my clothes have lost weight again!

25 Youth is like toilet paper. It seems like there are quite a lot of them, but once I use them, it’s not enough.

26 When I get angry, winter will come; when I get angry in winter, I will become a man in long trousers.

27 When money stands up and speaks, all truth is silent.

28 I want to make chopsticks in my next life, so that I won’t be lonely.

29 Christmas? It has nothing to do with me, my sister is celebrating the Spring Festival.

30 Boss, give me a cup of loneliness! / Sir, I'm sorry, we only have 31 left in our store

In my world, you can watch, but you don't need to speak!

32 It must be my handsomeness that hurts me!

33 The farthest distance in the world: We go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples. . .

34 Love is like a joke, it makes others laugh to death and hurts yourself.

35 There is no private server for relationships, and love cannot be cheated. A wonderful jingle that makes people laugh. A classic jingle that makes people laugh

A wonderful jingle that makes people laugh

1. There seems to be a feeling of fate flowing quietly in the air, rolling Go home and call your female horse out for everyone to have sex with.

2. Because, scientific reason; not only but also, I am Xun dad. Look at you as a jade tree facing the wind, handsome and graceful, loved by everyone, and flowers blooming, I must be sure

3. Thousands of years of accumulated humus, primitive species that even scientists dare not study

4. Shanxi’s mountains, Shanxi’s water, Shanxi’s XX loves smelly beauty, golden hooked nose, toad’s mouth, tiger Eyes, pig butt, and a pair of bow legs, let's see if you are stinky or not.

5. The little B boy is evil-minded. After eating the dumplings, he buttonholes his eyes

6. The old boy pretends to be young and becomes a soldier. He holds a stick when holding a gun, and he smells people's farts! Old Jb Den, pretending to be young, turned around and became a soldier. When the captain checked, he saw that he was an old Jb Den, and he kicked him into the cow dung pit!

7. You are not afraid of the sky or the earth, but you are afraid that the teacher will sue your father, and your father will use a big trumpet and blow your face like a chicken.

8. The dangerous building is a hundred feet high, and you are in a hurry to pull it out. Shit, I didn’t bring any paper with me when I pooped, so I had to use my fingers to wipe it off again and again. Shit was all over the wall

9. If a guy pretends to be a dick, he will be kicked sooner or later. If a guy pretends to be an egg, he will be fucked sooner or later! Discount, all fractures!

10. The boss farts, the second boss is not satisfied, the third boss reports it to the police station, the fourth boss comes to shoot, the fifth boss carries it, the sixth boss buries it, the seventh boss< /p>

11. Your mother the dominatrix. Chasing your dad with a kitchen knife! Your dad, Batman.

Flying around to hide from your mother! Your grandfather loves science. Riding a turtle chasing butterflies! Your grandma sells milk. No one buys moldy milk.

12. Someone gives you two pieces of candy, and you build a hut for them. There is no light in the hut, and you fall into Baba’s pit. You fight with Baba and almost die!

13 . So-and-so’s father is a gangster. He wears white pants and drives a Santana. So-and-so’s mother, the foot-washing water is as sweet as sweet potatoes, and she’s bankrupt for two cents, three cents, three cents, and five cents for three cents! So-and-so’s grandma jumped into the Yellow Sea to win glory for the motherland! So-and-so’s grandpa played with slippers , turn into slippers and play with him

14. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet.

15. You do art, and I do you. This is called in-depth art.

16. Whose husband is a temporary worker?

17. You are my Yulemei, so I can throw you away after drinking.

18. I have never deceived you, because I have never had the need to deceive you.

19. All the food you waste will block your way to heaven.

20. The left side of the brain is full of water, and the right side of the brain is full of flour.

A funny jingle that makes people laugh

1. Parents hope that their children will become successful: one singer, two painters, three calligraphers, four dancers, five movie stars, six writers, seven musical instruments, eight photographers, nine models, and a program host Praise

2. It is still the same every morning, and the past events are in my mind; as time goes by, we are still deeply in love!

3. Who said that being single is not good, but love is precious, The price of freedom is higher, and if you die single, you can throw away both.

4. If you have level but no temper, you are a saint; if you have level and have temper, you are a wise person; if you have no level and have no temper, you are a mediocre person; if you have no level but have temper, you are a bad person.

5. Four symptoms of the hospital: waiting in line for registration, dizziness; doctor’s diagnosis, the goddess scatters flowers; drug charges, it is a fog; long-term treatment, medicine is wasted.

6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, I am true to you, my love for you is eternal, and marrying you is impossible

7. First Class Children are blessed, second-class children are lucky when they go away, third-class children are lucky, and fourth-class children are angry.

8. Your promise and my promise together are the promises on the Internet. You give me a beautiful dream, and I will love you for a lifetime!

9. I am a link in the sky. Dragon Girl is like a clump of flowers on the ground. The dragon does not raise its head, it does not rain and the flowers do not bloom.

10. If you mess with me again, I will block you economically, isolate you politically, torture you mentally, destroy you physically, and abandon you in life.

11. Those who come home from get off work at night are poor people, those who come home at 9pm are drunkards, those who come home at 12pm are perverts, and those who come home at 4am are gamblers.

12. If you are upset, I am blue; if your heart is bitter, I am sweet; if you are sad, I am happy; if your heart is cold, I am spring.

13. Gaoshan Yizhimei, who do you love? I want to have sex with you, and no one can stop me! Once we get married, I’ll be gay, and I’ll be so crazy! If I’m married, I’ll be so mad. Cool!

14. He is obsessed with money, has three meals at public expense, cheats everywhere, has all five evils, disowns his relatives, deceives his superiors and deceives his subordinates, has many tricks up his sleeve, holds nine important positions, and is completely corrupt.

15. There is a hat sitting on the body, shoes on the head, socks chewed in the mouth, mobile phone in hand, staring at the eyes, trying to find fun.

Classic jingles that make people laugh

1. More and more entertainment, less and less pleasure; more and more food, less and less appetite; more and more cohabitation More, less and less love.

2. It’s a bit silly to fall in love with only one, but at least two are the best. Three or five is just right, and ten or eight is cool.

3. The laid-off male worker did not look back. He held two big axes in his hands. When he met the rich man, he yelled and took action when it was time to take action.

4. You are water, I am sand, you and I are mixed together into mud! You are hook and I am fork, we are little enemies together!

5. Me Use my infatuation in exchange for your sincerity; I give my love to my close friend; don't be careless with me, and be with me forever.

6. Benshan said: There is a lot of commotion in the United States, so let’s not just sit back and watch. One person picked up a board and crossed the strait to fight.

7. The road of life is full of ups and downs. Don’t be sad if you fall down. Get up and bounce on the dirt. There is a paradise ahead.

8. The first-class beauties traveled across the ocean, the second-class beauties went to Shenzhen and Zhuhai, the third-class beauties stayed in Shanghai, the fourth-class beauties waited in the countryside, and the fifth-class beauties were sent to labor camps.

9. Shandong people dare to give any gifts, Northeast people dare to accept any gifts, Beijing people dare to say anything, and Cantonese people dare to make any money.

10. You are my everything, the bet of my life. I have suffered hard for you and been busy all my life for you, but I have no hesitation and it is my sweet happiness.

11. Wearing a hairless Caesar, holding a wireless phone, sitting in a deserted Santana, people call me the boss of the beggar gang.

12. Smile more, cry less; love me more, scold me less; kiss me more, hit me less; I am your little sweetheart.

13. The first-class secretary follows, the second-class secretary writes the report, the third-class secretary handles outsourcing, and the fourth-class secretary reviews the manuscript.

14. To get a wife, you should marry Xiao Zhao, to make friends, you should marry Linghu Chong, as a man, it is best to marry Qiao Feng, and to hang out, you should marry Wei Xiaobao!

15. Open the beauty magazine There are many, there are many TV ads, there are many clichés when picking up a newspaper, there are many signatures when reading an article. Laughing at the messy jokes, she drank too much, I am marrying her on her behalf

Introduction: I heard that goddesses are aloof, but I still mustered up the courage. "Are you free on the weekend?" She said, "Go away." "Do you like Western food or Chinese food?" She said, "Go away. I can't bear it." The fucking company paid a million bonus, and I don't think I can spend the weekend alone. over! Why is no one willing to help me spend money? Damn it! "She said, "I'm sorry, they were all automatic replies just now..."

1. The groom was waiting anxiously for the bride in the auditorium. After a while, the girl in a wedding dress finally came in a hurry. The groom was stunned when he saw it. "Who are you?" Where is my bride? The girl said apologetically: "She drank too much. I am marrying her on her behalf." ”

2. Please stop talking about people with the surname Wang! My surname is Wang, and now all the buddies around me are guarding me like a thief! Now I feel like sleeping with my younger siblings and sisters-in-law It's like an affair!

3. The goddess invited me to play at her house, and I was so happy. We played until night, and I looked at her rosy face and fell asleep. Broken skin, red lips. Hahaha, I was about to achieve my goal. I wiped the saliva from the corner of my mouth, opened the door of her refrigerator and had a good meal.

4. Feiren. Liu Xiang posted a photo on Weibo. The photo was of his girlfriend and the hurdle. The caption was: She and it are my favorites! Netizen 1 commented: Cross it during the day, and jump her at night! Netizen 2 commented: It’s also 12 seconds 88… Damn it!!

5. I told my deskmate that dogs can distinguish 500 different smells with their noses. Then she thought for a while and asked me: What about it? Why are you still eating shit? Damn it, I am speechless!

6. My wife lay quietly in my arms and asked: What are my shortcomings after being married for more than a year? Said: Only one thing is that my temper is a little bit explosive... "What!" Tell me where your temper broke out? "

7. I was taking a nap at noon, and I vaguely felt that my five-year-old son was covering me with a quilt. Just when I was particularly moved, I saw my son covering me with the quilt from beginning to end and whispering: " rest in peace! ”

8. In the past, what we understood as robbery was “I drove this road and planted this tree. I want to pass by and leave money to buy the road!” "Now the times have changed: There is a toll station 500 meters ahead, please slow down!

9. I attended the parent-teacher meeting for the first time today. I was a little nervous. All the other parents were chatting, and I was the only one sitting silently. After a while, a big brother next to me couldn't help but ask me: "Teacher Wang, you asked us to come to the meeting, why don't you go up and say a few words?" ”

10. I am relatively introverted and shy. I usually blush when I talk to girls. On a blind date, after sitting down, I lowered my head and did not dare to speak. The girl looked at me and asked: "How old are you? "I blushed as soon as I brushed my face. The girl blushed when she saw me blushing. Then she stood up and scolded me, "Rogue!" "Turn around and leave.

11. Aunt Li, a retired worker, took a bus. When she got on the bus, someone offered her seat. She sat down, stood up again, and gave up her seat to a child. Immediately, someone else offered her seat, and the aunt didn't notice. Without hesitation, an old man who was older than her sat down. Everyone looked at her with admiration and gave up their seats. The aunt said that it was not easy for office workers, so she pushed the two tired young people, a man and a woman, into their seats, and finally sat down peacefully. In this way, Aunt Li's family of five found their seats.

12. I accidentally saw a condom in my 17-year-old son's wallet today. I said, "Brother, come here!" Why the hell do you still have condoms in your wallet? My son said nonchalantly, "Oh, I won't take it with me anymore." I was stunned for a moment and then "How dare you!" ”

13. One day, Lao Wang passed by a bridge on his motorcycle and saw a beggar under the bridge pulling out a brick from the bridge and stuffing money into it. The next day, when he passed by again, the beggar dug it out again. The brick was stuffed with money, thinking that this must be where the beggar had hidden his money. I got off the motorcycle and went under the bridge to find the brick. I dug it out and looked at the ten yuan note with a note attached, "I'll give you ten yuan to take a taxi. Motorcycle." I rode away. "I looked up and saw a beggar riding a motorcycle... and disappeared in a flash.

14. I heard two losers chatting on the bus today, saying that even if you buy a 4.7-inch iPhone 6, in the eyes of some people, you You are still a loser, because you have been tacitly told that you cannot afford a 5.5-inch iPhone 6.

15. On the audition stage, the contestant did 10 backflips in a row, and the judges quickly stopped him: We. This is a music competition, not a martial arts competition. Why are you doing so many somersaults? The contestant said: Uh... because I am singing a cover.

16. When someone says “you are such a good mother” to you, how do you respond tactfully? "Hello, son."

17. Go to the drugstore to buy cold medicine today. A girl came and said, "Does the boss have regret medicine?" The boss said, "Yes, there is one that costs 10 yuan and 25 yuan. What kind of medicine do you want?" She said, "It's a one-time solution for 25 yuan." The girl bought it. After getting the medicine, I left. I couldn't help but ask the boss: "What is the regret medicine?" The boss said: "It's a birth control pill!"

18. I found a new job and was very happy to meet my friends. Circle Post: I found a new job today, come on! Then early the next morning, a friend replied to me and said: Be careful when working at the gas station!

19. I was discussing Wang Quanan's prostitution with my girlfriend just now. I said: "In this world, good women always get screwed." My girlfriend asked back: "Am I a good woman?" I didn't know. True to words...

20. There was a pony about to cross the river. The old buffalo saw it and said to him: "Don't be afraid, the water is very shallow, only reaching my knees." The little squirrel ran over immediately Shouted: "Don't believe him! The water is very deep, and my friend drowned." Xiao Ma didn't know who to listen to. Mother Ma next to him told him: "Child, ignore those two lunatics, let's walk on the bridge "

21. My brother is five years younger than me. The strange thing is that he only eats duck meat and will not eat chicken no matter how hard he is. When he was seven or eight years old, my mother asked him: "What's wrong with you? Only eat duck meat but not chicken?" My brother said: "Chickens are so dirty that they don't eat them. Ducks are in the water and need to be bathed every day!"

22. I was pregnant, and I was joking with my husband one time, so I nudged him in the stomach with my belly. Then the guy got anxious and said, "Have you ever seen hens fighting with eggs?" Me:...

< p> 23. Today, lz accidentally bumped into a red M6 while driving. The owner of the car was a little girl and jumped out with her mobile phone. I quickly stepped forward to apologize and kept saying it, but she rolled her eyes at me. Then she handed her phone to me and asked me to take a cute photo of her. She also had to write that there was a small car accident today and she felt cute. After that, she drove away... leaving the original poster in a mess for several minutes!

24. I had a quarrel with my daughter yesterday. When she got angry, she slammed the door and left. She has not come home until today. I thought about the disappearance of many girls recently, and I was worried about her. My wife comforted me and said, "Don't worry, I just sent out a missing person notice and she will be back soon." As she spoke, my daughter opened the door angrily, holding a piece of paper in her hand: " Mom, what do you mean? I don’t weigh 110 pounds! I’m obviously only 98!” 25. The recruitment is over and the soldiers are sent out today. Everyone hugged each other and cried. In that scene, there were bursts of tears. A young man said to his father with tears in his eyes: "Dad, you have to take care of yourselves and don't worry about me. Also, I borrowed two thousand yuan from my neighbor a few days ago. You must remember to pay it back for me." "His father was stunned for a moment and yelled: You idiot, get out of here and pay it back when you come back."

26. A new employee came to the company today. During lunch, I said to the team leader: There is a new employee today, and there is only one word wrong with your name! Let him treat us to dinner after get off work today! The team leader said with a dark face: Get out! That's my cousin!

27. I have a 3-year-old daughter. The child has gone to bed at 9 o'clock in the evening. My wife is sitting on the bed with a facial mask on, and I am playing games. The daughter woke up and the wife wanted to lower her head to coax her. The daughter suddenly yelled and slapped the daughter-in-law on the face and started crying: Dad, there is a ghost...

28. My wife is a second-rate person. She went to wash her hair first, and I bought cigarettes before going in. After I went in, she started to wash my hair. As soon as I lay down, my second-rate wife said, "Handsome guy, come and wash your hair too!" Come with you." I didn't say anything. After my wife finished washing, she sat next to me and waited for me. After I finished, we gave the money to her. Then my wife took me on her arm and left, leaving everyone in the barber shop petrified.

29. Yesterday I rewatched The Eight Parts of Demi-Gods. If I were to ask who was the most powerful among them, you would say Qiao Feng, Xu Zhu, or the sweeping monk. I think it was Duan Zhengchun, who played with 5 women. Five women still love him with all their hearts, he is an absolute idol!

30. Just now, just now! When I picked up the express delivery, since it was a small package, the courier guy searched for a long time and couldn't find my package, so he turned around and asked me: "Who are you?" I paused for 3 seconds and said: "I am a human being..."

Postscript: Recently, Mr. Bao received a very difficult case. The reporter said that when walking at night, he always saw a headless monster wandering around the street. It was very scary. Mr. Bao thought about it. , said: "I often patrol the streets at night, why haven't I seen it?" Quotations that made me laugh so hard

Intro: "Husband, I want to take underwater wedding photos, look at this "It's so beautiful." "Yes. Her figure looks like a mermaid, but you look like a fat fish!" "..."

1. Many people say that you are poor. I can’t afford to be crazy about love and pay so much attention.

Numb, this is bullshit. I don’t pay attention to selling mobile phone cases. Why should I pay attention to this!

2. Princess Snow White has been in poor health since she got married. The prince took her to the hospital for a check-up and found that the princess only had one kidney left! The prince asked her why. The princess replied: "When I was living in seclusion in the forest, one day, a witch knocked on the door and asked me, child, do you want an apple?"

3. This morning, my friend invited me to go out to play. When I went out, I wanted to go with him. My mother said I was hanging out with my friends, but she accidentally said I was hanging out with my girlfriend. My mother turned around and smiled softly and said, "Are you kidding me?" Then she turned around and continued chopping vegetables. I despaired of this malicious world.

4. I will not buy this Apple watch. If I don’t take out the mobile phone I spent so much money to buy to check the time, wouldn’t it be in vain?

5. I was in the same class with my younger brother when I was in high school. One night, Teacher Xiu asked us: "Which of you is the younger brother and who is the older sister?" I was stunned at that time!

6. Experience in giving shoes to boys: As long as you seduce the shopping guide lady more when buying clothes, your girlfriend will finish buying clothes in a short time.

7. A beggar asked the master: "Master, why am I so pitiful? Do I have to beg like this all my life?" The master took out a coin, threw it into the air, and landed in front of the beggar. "Master, are you saying that life is like a coin, with pros and cons?" Master: "Take this dollar, and I'll slap you if you don't want to."

8. Want to have sex with your wife I have been trying to have a baby for 3 years without success. Today I went to the Tutu Temple to ask for fortune telling and when I could get pregnant. The old man said a lot of classical Chinese that I couldn’t understand. I only heard the last sentence: There is a noble person who can help me...!

9. Fortune tellers have completely evolved! Just now I was walking on the road while playing with my mobile phone, and a fortune teller shouted to me: "Young man! Come here! I think your signal is not very good recently! Let me test the nearby Wifi password for you!"

10. Son: "Mom, can you give me a few hundred dollars? I want to sing with my friends tonight." Mom: "Don't go to those places when you are so young. Why are you singing like a kid! Still? Yes, you are so old, go and wash your clothes!"

11. I went to eat wontons today. While I was eating, I saw the boss lady beating my son with a feather duster, so I advised him: " Educate your son verbally and not with domestic violence, as this will cause harm to his young mind." The boss lady looked at me and stopped. I asked the child: "Why did you offend your mother?" The child said innocently: "I just peed in the pot." "What? Peed in the pot? Just paid it forward? Boss lady, Are you tired? Take a break and let me come!"

12. A friend was taking a train. There were so many people checking in at the station, so he took his ID card and tickets and got on the train to settle down. After that, my friend took out the train ticket to check and found that the ticket had not been clipped. I was about to feel happy. Damn it, why is my ID card missing a corner?

13. My husband likes to drink, and he also likes to invite friends to drink at home. That day I found a bottle of wine in my daughter’s room. Thinking of my daughter’s unhappy expression when my husband was drinking with his cousin the night before, I asked my daughter, “Did you take away your dad’s wine last night?” "You didn't see that he was already drunk and still wanted to drink, so I confiscated their wine." Speaking of this, my daughter became angry. "Did he quarrel with you?" My daughter rolled her eyes at me: "Think about it, if you took away the bone that the dog was chewing, would the dog be less anxious?"

14. Xiao Ming: "Dad, the light bulb in your bedroom is always broken, don't you know how to change it yourself?" Dad: "Yes, what's wrong? The light is not broken." Xiao Ming: "Then why does your mother ask me to find it as soon as you go to work the night shift?" Uncle Wang next door came to change the light bulb, and he changed it very slowly. It took more than an hour to change it." Dad: "Maybe your Uncle Wang doesn't understand electricity." Xiao Ming: "I mean, mom is always getting electric shock. "

15. When I went to KTV with my friends, my friend insisted on asking a few girls to sing with me. The waiter called me into the box and said, "Sir, which ones do you want to stay?" Me: "Those who know how to drink, step forward!" Pa Pa walked forward several times. Me: "Go out if you know how to drink. The wine I bought is not enough for you to drink!"

16. When school was over, Xiao Ming asked the teacher: "Why is there a holiday on Children's Day but not on Teacher's Day?" The teacher While walking with the gift box in both hands, he said: "Because you are still young."

17. A Japanese customer came to the work. He was very polite during the meal. He clinked glasses and drank. After eating, he went to the factory to look at the equipment. I don't know. Which brother opened the cover of the manhole, and the little devil disappeared with a sound as soon as he got off the car. The boss of the unit said: "Damn it, he's still a ninja."

18. When sleeping, I often feel a pair of eyes staring at me outside the window. I am timid and will cover my head with clothes every time. , but even if it blocked the view, it could not block the penetrating voice coming from my ears - "What are you doing?" asked my class teacher.

19. A: What is the most touching thing that has happened to you in your life? B: I was robbed once. A: What's so touching? B: He robbed me of 20, I gave him 50, and he got back 30 from me. A:...

20. I was taking the bus today and saw a guy next to me with a cast on one of his feet.

After a stop, four or five old men came up. I was about to give up my seat. Unexpectedly, this guy who was wearing a plaster stood up suddenly and said, "Sir, please sit down. Just don't hit me." My legs instantly felt trembling. do not have.

21. I came home from drinking in the middle of the night. I entered the room and saw my wife and Mr. Wang next door on my bed. I was immediately furious. I grabbed the two dogs and the man and the woman and beat them up. After the beating, I woke up a little. I looked next to me. Damn, I entered the wrong door. I quickly apologized to Lao Wang and his wife, saying that I got drunk and entered the wrong house. He grabbed me by the collar and said: I can understand that you entered the wrong door, but you don’t have a wife, do you know?

22. My mother pulled my sister and me and said, "When I was young, I hoped that you two would grow up quickly, and that one would become an upright man like my father, and the other would become a tender and affectionate woman like my mother. Unexpectedly, my dream has come true now. One of you has become a tomboy and the other has become a sissy.”

23. I once liked a girl who was studying medicine and went to class with her. That day, I didn’t know whether the teacher had a seizure or something else, so he started talking about how to give medicine to cause the husband to die suddenly and for unknown reasons. There are ways to eat for half a year, ways to eat for 1 year, and ways to eat for 10 years. Seeing her bright eyes taking notes seriously, I made up my mind to become good friends with her.

24. In order to pretend to be rich, I bought a pair of silver chopsticks and went to the canteen to eat. Who knows, when I picked up the dishes, the chopsticks turned black!

25. Today, my friend and I went to the 4S store to look at cars. I took a fancy to one. The salesman said that this car was very good. I asked how good it was. The salesman said: "If this car If you drive five hundred meters and no girl jumps up to you, then you should think about how you look!”

26. My mother often picks up food that accidentally falls on the ground and puts it secretly into my dad’s bowl. There were also some foods that she was not sure were spoiled. After cooking them, she told me not to eat them yet, and that I could eat them after my dad ate them without any problems. I think it’s not easy for my dad to live until now...

27. Send a text message to your boyfriend to confess: "Although I am a few years older than you, I want to date you." I didn't expect him He actually replied instantly: "Actually, I, Ye Ting, want to date you." Haha, he must have been too excited to even make a typo. Then he sent another text message: "Sorry, there was a typo. I will check it before sending it to you." After a while, he sent another text message: "Actually, my father really wants to date you."

28. Take your own temperature today, 39°7. Run to the health room to find the hygienist to get medicine, and knock on the door. Hygienist: "What are you doing?" Me: "You have a fever, get some antipyretic medicine." Hygienist: "Don't be ridiculous, I can't do anything below 40 degrees, and I can't do anything above 40 degrees, so do whatever you have to do! "Boy, come out and I promise not to beat you to death!"

29. My husband and I have birthdays only one day apart. Tomorrow is his birthday. I asked him: "How do you plan to celebrate your birthday tomorrow?" "How do you save money?" "The day after tomorrow is my birthday. How do you celebrate it?" "How do you celebrate it happily?" I was overjoyed and asked, "How can I be happy?" "I will be happy if I save money."

30. One day when Lao Wang was taking a bus, a pregnant woman got on the bus and found that there was no seat. She said to Lao Wang sitting beside him: "Didn't you see that I'm pregnant?" Lao Wang looked at the pregnant woman in surprise and said, "Were we neighbors before?"

Editor's note: I didn't have much feeling about the "patriotic" movement at first. But last night in Gulou Square, I was really touched by the passion of a group of aunties, and I couldn't help but participate. They shouted "Recover!", I shouted "Diaoyu Islands!" They shouted "Recover" again, and I shouted "Diaoyu Islands!" They then shouted "Raise your buttocks!", so I had to leave.