Of course, not every child is stubborn. But now there are indeed many children who will compete with their parents on the issue of eating. This is a game they like to play very much. Perhaps food and clothing is not our core content now, and children are not hungry, and they are not willing to give up their hunger, which makes eating as arduous as fighting!
even a very young child can easily keep his mouth shut. But you forbid them to eat what they shouldn't, but the children eat happily. For example, many parents don't want their children to eat too much ice cream. "OK, Xiao Chengyang, just this once, you can't eat any more this week. It's too cold, and you are still so young. Look around, can anyone eat it? Just this once." However, children often think about continuing to ask for it when they come out next time. They will use their lovely voices to bargain endlessly with their parents. "Dad, let's buy it again today!" Especially when there are friends, parents are soft-hearted, and the child wins again.
A simple rule is mentioned in many of our literature and life: "If you starve him for a day, he will eat!" In fact, many parents know this rule of winning the "battle at the table". Only a few parents can find an acceptable balance between love and rules. Many times, it is what we call "distressed" and "unwilling" that causes the battle at the dinner table, and it is not the children's young age and weak self-control, but their subjective "provocation".
If the child doesn't want to eat now, put away the delicious food, and never provide him with any dessert, snack or candy before the next meal. If he can't get a bargain after several times, his stomach will tell him "hungry", so the battle at the dinner table will become history. Many times we need to be firm, don't mess around and control our emotions. If he wants someone else's baby, maybe you are not in such a hurry!
In the conflict, it is for parents to defend their authority and firmly express their positions and principles to severely respond to their children's deliberate provocation. The authority of parents is established bit by bit in the usual interaction between parents and children. In the usual interaction with children, parents should clearly show their principles. If children violate certain principles, they must communicate with them. Why can't these principles be violated? Parents should be patient, discuss problems with them, and let children learn to look at things from other angles. They may have what they think is right, but from other angles, their reasons or consequences are harmful. Through repeated discussion, it is not only helpful to establish the authority of parents, but also helpful to cultivate children's independent thinking ability, not just parents' "yes-men".
At the same time, don't worry that the harsh response will hurt the feelings of parents and children. If the punishment is "self-inflicted" by the child, and he fully understands that he is "culpable of punishment", the child will often show love for his parents after the initial tears disappear.
In this process, parents and children should respect each other. If parents don't respect their children, they can't ask them to respect them. Parents should treat their children's self-esteem kindly and never despise them or embarrass them in front of their friends. A parent who is full of sarcastic and hurtful words when criticizing his children should not expect to be truly respected by their children in turn. Even though they may be very afraid of their parents now and hide their contempt for them, revenge will appear at some point in the future.
Children are independent people. They have independent personality and thinking ability. Don't treat children as your own possessions, arrange everything for them. The most practical way is that parents should learn to listen to their children's different views on one thing and discuss it with them.
Cultivating children's respect for their parents is a very important content in children's education. Because the child's relationship with his parents will lay the foundation for his attitude towards all others in the future. His views on parents' authority in childhood will evolve into the basis of his views on elders, teachers, leaders and other people who live or work together in adulthood. The relationship between parents and children is the first and most important social influence that children have, and the flaws and puzzles that children experience in this relationship will continue to appear in his later life.