One day, a fudge was walking in the street.

as she was walking, she suddenly said, "Oh, dear! My legs are so soft! "

Once upon a time, there was a man whose surname was Yu.

One day he was hungry, and

He ate himself ...

A classmate named Xiao Cai was walking on the road, and he was suddenly picked up ...

There was a Mr. Banana dating his girlfriend, and he was walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr. Banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend.

Hearing this, the polar bear pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" "

One day, mung bean committed suicide and jumped down from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot and turned into red beans. Has been pus, and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally became a black bean.

One day, bean paste bag was walking on the road, and suddenly he had an accident and his belly was broken. Before he died, he looked at his belly and said, "Oh, I am a bean paste bag."

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it stretched out its hand and scratched, and it burned itself to death.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiaoming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew ...

Once upon a time there was a bird

He passed a cornfield every day

But unfortunately

one day there was a fire in that cornfield

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over ...

I thought it was snowing, so I died of cold ... "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's the matter?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet.

On the plane, an air hostess asked a little girl, "Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?" "

The little girl replied," I know, because the stars will flash! "

A pair of corn fell in love

so they decided to get married

On the wedding day

One corn couldn't find another corn

The corn asked the popcorn beside him: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him.

Why didn't they say hello?

A: Because they are unfamiliar ..

Excuse me:

Who is Mi's mother?

-flowers, because "peanuts".

who is mi's father?

-it's a butterfly, and the country is a "recent flower".

who is mi's grandmother?

-it's a wonderful pen, because "a wonderful pen makes flowers".

.........., a fat man,

jumped from a tall building ...

He turned out to be ...

A fat man ...

One day a green apple went out shopping and suddenly saw a red apple, so he said to the red apple ...

You have a crush on me, otherwise why would the teacher blush ...

In music class.

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand when mixing coffee?

Xiaomei said: Right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are so awesome, you are not afraid of scalding, like I use a spoon.

Xiao A said to Xiao B: Dig the plug ... It's raining outside! ! See

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I saw you.

Xiao Ming has been begging his mother to let him be an artist.

Mom said, "You are still young, we will talk about it later." Xiao Ming kept begging her.

Finally, her mother couldn't stand it, and she said,

"We were born as red beans, so we can't be artists (Coix seed).

The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?" The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping together.

Then one day, a truck suddenly rushed out.

Tomato A was pushed over.

Tomato B pointed at Tomato A and laughed.

[Ha, ha, ha, tomato sauce ~]

Chocolate and tomato fought, and chocolate won.

why?

Because of the chocolate bar ~

The tortoise ran to the front quickly ...

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you ...

Then ... the snail came up ...

After a while ... The tortoise saw an ant again .. and said to him.

When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and said "Hello" to him.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast ...

Two people have fallen into a trap. The dead are called dead, but what are the living?

A: call for help!

Xiao Ming said, "Kang, ask you," A shark ate a mung bean, and what did it become?

A Kang said, "I don't know. What's the answer?

Xiao Ming said, "The answer is" green bean paste (mung bean shark) ".Ah, you are so stupid!

Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who wins?

A: rabbit ~~

Q: wrong ~! It's a turtle. It is said that it is a fast turtle. It runs very fast. Q: The rabbit is unwilling to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: hmm. . Rabbit bar

Q: Wrong ~ ~! That turtle took off her sunglasses, too! It's that fast turtle again. Oh, o

mm got lost looking for a university. Meet a gentle professor.

MM: excuse me, how can I go to the university?

professor: only by studying hard can you go to college.

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it stretched out its hand and scratched, and it burned itself to death.

A man and a woman are having dinner.

The girl keeps asking the boy: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me?

The boy finally said: Love

The girl asked: Then how do you prove it?

Suddenly the boy took out thirty yuan from his pocket,

And asked the girl: Do you have ten yuan?

The girl gave ten yuan to the boy ..

The boy put forty yuan on the table

After a while ...

The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said that I have been proved! ! !

forty is in front of you!

Unfortunately, a college student was caught by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ！” The college student answered the enemy's words and was electrocuted ...

He said, "I'm from RTVU!" "

Q: Is Dandan the name of a puppy or a tiger?

A: Tiger, because he is eager to watch ~

First put a notebook on the table

Then put your chin on the notebook

Okay

This is my gift for you

Notebook pad

One day, turtle father and turtle mother. After ten years of hard work, it's finally here! They sat on the floor and unloaded their equipment to prepare for dinner. As a result, I found that I didn't bring a can opener!

turtle son: "... then I'll go back and get it.

turtle dad: "good son! Come on! Mom and dad are waiting for you to come back and have dinner together. Go and come back quickly!

turtle son: Be sure to wait for me! Don't break your word!

So the turtle son set foot on his way home ...............

Time flies, time flies, 2 years have passed in a blink of an eye, but the turtle son has not yet appeared.

turtle mother: "Wife ... shall we have dinner first? I'm so hungry that I say ... "

turtle dad:" No! We promised our son! Um ... Wait for him for another five years, or leave him alone!

it's been five years in a blink of an eye, and turtle's son still hasn't been seen. Tortoise parents don't care! Parents decided to start.

I took out the pie and was about to eat it ...

Suddenly, Son Tortoise poked his head out from behind the tree ...

Son Tortoise: "Shit! I knew you'd steal! Trick me into getting the can opener? I've been waiting for twenty-five years, and I finally got it! I hate being lied to!

At 12 o'clock in the evening,

wearing black underwear,

standing in front of the mirror;

Punch your chest 3 times and scream,

Your chest will eventually be ...

Black and blue ...

Every time I see you wearing stockings ...

There is an indescribable feeling in my heart,

That is ...

The radish is wrapped in plastic wrap!

Xiao Ming came back to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher,

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiao Ming: What do ants say?

Xiao Ming looked blank and said,

Ant didn't say anything ...

Brother: "Look! The face of the doll and her mother-in-law is very similar. "

elder brother:" where will it be like?

Brother: "Because they all have no teeth!

There was no business in a snack bar selling dumplings.

So she went to ask Shi Gong what to do.

Shi Gong said, You should find a fresh corpse, wrap its meat into dumplings,

and then sell it so that business will be good, but tell their family not to eat this kind of dumplings, or something terrible will happen.

The boss tried it and the effect was really good.

So she went to look for the body again.

The next day, her son wanted to bring a lunch box.

But he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it.

He found a lunch box and took it with him.

I didn't expect that it was jiaozi left by my father.

He opened it at noon to see the next jump.

Why did it suddenly become five in jiaozi when it was clearly 1 in the morning?

do you know why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because jiaozi stuck to the lid.

A man often scores more than 2 points every time he goes bowling, and

he often shoots turkeys.

One day he went bowling with his friends, and

he didn't shoot turkeys after playing for six rounds, so he was in a bad mood ...

When he rode home,

he kept thinking about why he didn't shoot turkeys today.

Halfway through the ride, he stopped at a red light.

At that time, a car stopped beside him.

The driver rolled down his window and asked,

Sir, do you have a lighter?

He replied with great displeasure: No! It's none of your business not to shoot the turkey!

A lumberjack went to apply for a job

Foreman: Try the forest in front ... and see how many trees you can cut in a minute ...

After a minute ...

Foreman: Wow ... 2 trees a minute ... That's amazing ... Where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara forest ...

Foreman: Never heard of it ... I only heard of Sahara desert ...

Worker: Yes ... I changed my name later!

A man left home for work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home. He spent the whole weekend partying with his friends and spent all his salary.

When he finally got home on Sunday night, his angry wife was waiting for him and scolded him for nearly an hour. Finally, the wife stopped nagging and asked him, "What do you think if you don't see me for three days in a row?"?

he replied, "I feel quite good.

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still didn't see his wife.

On Thursday,

.

.

.

.

.

.

The swelling disappeared a little, and he finally managed to see his wife from the corner of his left eye.

This is a telephone market survey of pet food. A child answered the phone.

marketer: "Little friend, do you have a dog, a kitten, a rabbit or a bird at home?"

Child: "No, my mother only gave birth to me."

wife: I'm really blind to step in dog shit before I marry you.

Dave: I'm the one who's really blind and stepped in shit to marry you.

...

Shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there, both of you stepped on it ..

One day, a mother-in-law sat down.