Source | Met Xiao Mi (mi(ID：yujianxiaomi215) Jun Jun has changed the most, with a much more lively personality. They are all young people, and they will talk about finding a partner. Jun Jun's mother said to her, "You don't have to get married as long as you can make money." This sentence is very useful to Jun Jun, who agrees with her mother's point of view. But I've been in our company for a long time, so I always ask why. Why does the traditional mother suddenly want to understand? Jun Jun found that behind her mother's words, she was disappointed with her life and past marriage, and distrusted the other half. Jun Jun's parents have been divorced for eight years. In the two years since their separation, Jun Jun's mother has a deep resentment towards her father. As long as she mentions him, she can't stop accusing and abusing him. Mainly after the separation, Jun Jun's father had a better life, and her heart was very unbalanced. Now, with Jun Jun's mother living a good life by herself, she will occasionally say something when she meets something. There is no resentment, but some subconscious dependence still exists. In our eyes, Jun Jun's father is not a good husband, but relatively speaking, he is a qualified father. When her parents divorced, her mother was only assigned to a small storefront on the first floor of their community. In recent years, it has been used as a warehouse to rent out storage equipment to others. In terms of cash, it is only over 1, yuan. Dad has three houses, one of which was transferred to Jun Jun. At present, Jun Jun has given this house to his mother. Jun Jun and his sister's tuition, living expenses and other expenses are borne by his father. If there is anything that needs money, he never refuses to ask him. Some time ago, something happened in their family. Our reaction, Jun Jun said, somewhat refreshed her three views and made her more able to look at the relationship between parents objectively. Jun Jun's father gave her this house. The floor of the master bedroom is too old. A floor tile collapsed and the floor was broken. Naturally, it needs to be repaired. At this time, Jun Jun's mother thought of her father and thought that this was something he should be responsible for. Jun Jun said, "As long as this apartment or my sister and I are involved, my mother's first solution is my father." Jun Jun's mother felt that what she said was useless, and asked Jun Jun to make a request to her father. Jun Jun was very resistant and embarrassed. It was a long time before she hesitated to mention it to her father. Dad's reaction: "You ask your mother to fix it first. How much is it? I'll give it to you then, and you give it to her." Jun Jun believed dad's words, because dad never broke his word on money, but mom didn't believe it. After that, the matter was shelved until her sister made another request, and dad gave money directly and changed the floor. I said to Jun Jun, "Your father is fine." why do I think Jun Jun's father is very nice? We can't comment on parents' feelings, but he chose to bear the responsibility and obligation. that is, this sentence directly hit Jun Jun. Why did this sentence make Jun Jun think? Jun Jun said, "I never realized that for us, Dad never owed my sister and me anything in terms of time and material. It's just that he really owes a lot to his mother, and she turned all these debts on us, asking us to ask for it and asking Dad to make compensation on us. " In the past, Jun Jun's mother was always immersed in the failure of her marriage, thinking that Jun Jun's father owed her. Aunt and Second Aunt are even more aggrieved. They say from time to time, "You are so stupid that you don't ask your father for anything, and you are embarrassed to ask for living expenses. You should ask for it." It's this sentence "You just want it". Jun Jun has been listening to it since his parents divorced, and it's so subtle that when he was an adult, Jun Jun didn't think there was anything wrong with this sentence, and instinctively felt that it was right to find his father. In this marriage, Jun Jun's mother has been a housewife for more than ten years, keeping her ears closed to things outside the window. Occasionally, neighbors and relatives are bored and ask her to play mahjong together. After that, she goes home to cook dinner and take care of Jun Jun and her sister, and the day is over. Later, Jun Jun's father became rich, and the whole family moved from the countryside to the city. Jun Jun's mother learned some secrets of his father, and they played a game of "cat and mouse" from then on. You won't give up until you chase me home, and you won't give up until you miss "death". In this way, Jun Jun's endless slapstick filled all her life before her sophomore year, and she became more and more introverted and did not like to express herself. Jun Jun was suffering. Once after they had a big fight, Jun Jun quietly sent a short message to his father, probably asking them to divorce and stop torturing each other. Jun Jun's father pulled her and asked, "Did you send that message?" Jun Jun admitted it. Unbelievable, he asked Jun Jun, "How could you say such a thing?" (It means it's not like Jun Jun's previous personality) With tears in her eyes, Jun Jun responded with a strong support: "It's me." Later, Jun Jun's father didn't speak, and later, the news of parents' separation spread all over the home. Jun Jun doesn't know what role this short message played in his parents' marriage. But after her parents separated, she felt that life was less depressing and much easier. What about the present situation after Jun Jun's parents separated? After graduating from senior three in Jun Jun, her father remarried, and now his wife is introduced by a friend, which has nothing to do with the past. Jun Jun and his sister feel a little better, but their relationship with their aunt (father's current wife) has been in a lukewarm state. Last year, my aunt gave birth to a baby. Jun Jun said that looking at the face exactly like her when she was a child (the three sisters in Jun Jun are all like her father), she liked it or not, and her little sister became a bond to ease their relationship, because the communication between her little sister and Jun Jun and her father and aunt was less deliberate and more natural. Jun Jun said: "Compared with before, my father knows how to take care of his family's feelings better, and he has learned to do housework. This is his change. Even if it is not for my mother, my sister and me, it is a good change. I used to be jealous, but I am more gratified. He still has a soft side. In a blink of an eye, he is 5 years old." Jun Jun's mother, after independence, tried to find a job by herself, successfully supported herself, learned to dance, and made many friends in the process of dancing. Recently, Jun Jun's mother signed up for a fitness class, and worked out on time for one hour every day. She often punched in Jun Jun to show Jun Jun her yoga classroom. Jun Jun's mother has become more confident. She can make up and socialize. The most important thing is that she has an optimistic attitude, which is a happy fruit for her family. Compared with the housewife who knew nothing before, she finally lived like herself in middle age. After their separation, both of them are developing in a good direction, which is probably the reason why Jun Jun wants her parents to divorce. This is a good separation. Let's go back to the beginning of this article. Most parents can't accept that their children are not married and Jun Jun's mother is so avant-garde, which makes Jun Jun think about the meaning behind this sentence. In essence, Jun Jun's mother didn't see the possibility of settling down in men, and her disappointment with men made her think that men were unreliable. Jun Jun's mother once told her very firmly: "No matter what, you have to have your own job, even if the salary is low, it's better than nothing." I can feel that Jun Jun is very receptive to the relationship between her parents. There is no hate in her heart, only love. Similarly, an experience will make you grow a lot. Jun Jun's mother is looking for a job, and with the help of relatives, she helps to sell furniture in the furniture city. The income is only enough for her own life, while Jun Jun's father, after years of accumulation, has no problem supporting the new family and paying Jun Jun and his sister's living expenses and tuition fees. When my parents divorced, considering the economic conditions, Jun Jun and my sister were both awarded to my father, but they proposed to live with my mother. Indeed, this is a place where society is unfair to women. Taking care of children at home has no source of income and can only rely on each other's sincerity. Sometimes, Jun Jun thinks, "If mom had the ability, her marriage with dad might have ended earlier. Perhaps, dad will respect her more, which is a very cruel reality. " Jun Jun works hard and has great potential. Occasionally, when we talk about the house, we will make fun of Jun Jun. You still have a full house worth millions in your hometown. She told me: "Sister Mi, I hope I can give myself a sense of security. We women always like to emphasize the sense of security. In our feelings, we think that our suspicion and emotional repetition are the reasons why the other party is not doing well. In fact, as long as you have nothing, when you think about it in your spare time, no matter how the other party promises you, your suspicion will still come. Only when you really achieve a certain goal, achieve a certain achievement and sublimate your pursuit, will you find that only you can satisfy yourself. The lowest worry in your heart is gone, and the panic is less than half. " As for the sentence "You can make money without getting married", Jun Jun's understanding is that he wants to be financially independent and earn more money, so that he will not be changed by life in love. if she meets love, she doesn't reject marriage, but she wants to be herself all the time. On the evening of December 31, 219, I went to the scene to listen to Luo Pang's "Friends of Time" New Year's speech. Luo Pang quoted his partner's words: "Don't live up to the opportunities that this era has given women." Later, Tuohua wrote an article, "Why don't you live up to the opportunities that this era has given women? I agree with many of them: "In this era, women should no longer consider any option of self-sacrifice. If a husband or someone needs you to make such a sacrifice, it is simple that you are not that important to him/her. only the workplace will give you a fair price for your efforts and contributions. Your husband, children, relatives, none of them will. Even if you quit the workplace, you must never leave the active social network or reduce social connectivity (parents are not included). The most difficult problem for women in the workplace is children. As a mother with two children, I want to say: Your children don't really need you in life, but in their long life, they really need an interesting, intelligent and respected mother as a female role model. women's strongest competitiveness is' getting things done'. whenever you ask a man, think about whether you can do it. This is the true independent woman. " Finally, Tiaohua tells you a secret: the biggest bonus of this era is that most people are still unprepared for the rise of women, so they are caught off guard. Interested friends can read this article. I really think women are getting better and better in the workplace. I am married, and my married life is not bad. But the real sense of security is given by the career. Before entering the marriage, we must have our own career. Xiao-mi Yang: From the media, I met the founder of Xiaomi, the author of "Realizing in Action", a Shandong native who was born in a psychology class and settled in Shanghai. For three years, she worked as an ordinary clerk and became a marketing director, and started a business to share her career experience and growth story.