Walking marriage is an important part of the "matrilineal" family. Adult men's "walking marriage" is a way to continue the family line and reproduce offspring, but it is different from other ethnic groups where couples live together for many years. They gather at dusk, return at dawn, and come and go in the morning. There are two ways of walking marriage among Mosuo people: one is called "Azhu" settled marriage; the other is called "Axia" long-distance marriage. No matter what kind of wedding custom, an ancient ceremony must be held called "Zangba La", which means: worshiping the Stove God Bodhisattva and worshiping ancestors. This ceremony is held at the bride's house, usually in the middle of the night. No guests or gifts are given, and friends do not attend. In this etiquette, the man's family invites a witness to bring the suitor to the woman's house. Of course, the young man and woman have already had feelings for each other. There is no matchmaker's words or mother's uncle's order. It was only after their mothers and uncles understood and acquiesced that the groom's family placed the gifts brought by them on the platform of pot piles above the fire pit and on the altar in the sutra hall according to their own financial situation. Salute to the ancestors, salute to the pot pile, then salute to the elders, mother, uncle, and sister, and then accept the blessings from the elders and sisters. There is one gift for each of the elders, young and old. Your sweetheart "Asha" must be massaged and decorated carefully from head to toe. The man will receive a floral belt with Mosuo characteristics carefully woven by the woman using Mosuo linen. The woman’s family will never distribute money or materials to the man’s family. They believe that love between men and women is equal and is more important than anything else. Emotion is an important factor in Mosuo people's "walking marriage". After the witnesses explained to "A-Xia" her mother and uncles, the men and women became public from then on. "A-Xia Walking Marriage" does not invite guests or arrange anything. This ancient custom is frugal and saves trouble. The whole ceremony It can be done in an hour. Now let’s talk about “Azhu” settled marriage. After the "walking marriage" ceremony, Mosuo young men and women either move out of the couple's home and live together, or the man moves to the woman's house to live, and there are also women who live in the man's house, but the latter two are rare. They stay together all year round. , live together and raise the next generation. This kind of settled marriage is called "Azhu" settled marriage.

"Axia Walking Marriage": Whenever night falls quietly, the adult men in this family go out of their minds. Among them are uncles, elder brothers, and younger brothers, who go east, west, north and south, to go to their own homes. "Axia" home. The sisters of the other party are waiting at home for the arrival of the "Prince Charming" in their hearts. They are particularly busy at night, and the mother who is the head of the family has even more burdens on her shoulders. She has to take care of her uncle and brothers when they go out, take care of the mother, sisters and children at home, and also welcome her "Azhu" (husband) to come for a tryst.

If you observe carefully the night life of the Mosuo people's "matriarchal" family, it is not difficult to find some of the rules. For those men or guests who knock on the door, the old uncles will never open the door, without asking who it is, and the housewife will ignore them. Unless you shout a few times outside the door, indicating that you are an outside guest, the elderly or children at home will open the door for you. There are many adult sisters in the family, but there are also many "Azhu" who come for trysts. Each has its own tryst secret code and way of expressing love. If it is not her "Azhu", she will not let him into her boudoir. The girl's boudoir must be right She would only open it gently if there was a good code. There were old women and children living in the main house of the big wooden bungalow, and they didn't care about the affairs in the courtyard. Here, there is no "third party", nor the feudal rules of "parents' orders, matchmaker's words", nor the saying that if you marry a chicken, follow the chicken, and if you marry a dog, follow the dog. Men and women live in their own homes. You don’t rely on me to support you, and I don’t rely on you to survive. There are men everywhere in the world, and I can ask for women from the Eastern “daughter country”. Women play a dominant role in sexual matters. With these real feelings, people suddenly realize why the Mosuo people do not have social problems such as divorce, widows, unsupported children, property inheritance, street children, etc. They have their own sexual concepts and Moral standards are completely different from ours. In their clan, most "Axia" and "Azhu" respect each other as guests and are responsible for each other, but it is not as clear as other ethnic groups. In the family structure and marriage reality of some villages and certain religions, this phenomenon exists to varying degrees. Men are neither husbands nor fathers in name. They are responsible for their wives and fulfill their obligations to their children. Men They were all thrown into the Lugu Lake. Once his girlfriend closes the door and refuses, or the men like the new and get tired of the old, the past feelings will disappear, leaving only an erotic dream, which is also a mystery. Here, sexual relations between men and women have little to do with economic relations. Unions are free and consensual. Divorce is even more irrelevant and there will be no disputes. Both men and women have the initiative, and society and family do not interfere. Even if a dispute occurs, the mothers and uncles of both parties will handle it properly. The purpose of union is not to make a living; divorce will not endanger anyone's survival, and no matter how wealthy the economy is, it will not build a reliable foundation for a solid union. The reason for the mutual union and separation of Mosuo "Axia" walking marriage is that emotion is the precursor. Therefore, when some Mosuo people reach adulthood, the relationship between the man and the woman is not compatible. It is common to change "Axia" and "Azhu" before having children, but after having children, they cannot easily change them. As night falls, at dusk, the young woman cannot help but feel excited. Many night messengers come and go in the evening.

In their sexual world, not every woman can love and every man can be courted as we ordinary people imagine. Their way of courting is through productive labor, work and study, visiting villages and visiting relatives. After they get to know each other and have a certain emotional foundation, they exchange some gifts with each other, such as bracelets, necklaces, rings, watches, clothes, etc. as tokens of love. These things are only available to them and their mother. Know. As the relationship between men and women gradually deepens, the number of "walking marriage" trysts and get-togethers increases, and some couples' relationships become stable for life. If you are smooth-talking, dishonest, incompetent, and idle, over time, you will have to go back to your parents’ home disappointed. The fact that "walking marriage" is part of the Mosuo family structure is unimaginable by contemporary people. The secret of free "walking marriage" is that mothers and children have no worries. The "matrilineal" family is everyone's refuge. For adult men For them, the "matrilineal" family is the best paradise for them to live and retire. Of course men would be happy to do it? This is one of the reasons why their custom of "walking marriage" continues to this day.

Mosuo boys and girls grew up under the careful care of their grandmothers, mothers, uncles, and sisters in this "matrilineal" family. They (she) had collectivist ideas and mutual respect for each other. The virtue of love. Children have received the awareness of a big family and the education of respecting the elderly and loving the young in such an environment since they were young. They must obey their mothers and elders, distribute food or other things according to the age group, and refrain from doing immoral things. These customs, habits, and moral standards provide children with They left a deep mark. In recent years, despite the influence of the outside world, the Mosuo people's society is relatively stable compared to the outside world. According to statistics, in the natural villages above and below Lugu Lake, from the founding of New China to the present, only one person has been reeducation through labor for three years. In these 50 years, among the nearly 1,000 people in the entire administrative village, only one person has committed a misdemeanor and no serious crime. of. Therefore, the thinking of the younger generation is inseparable from the good education received from their elders since childhood.

Whether it is the past people's communes, production teams or the current individual economy, the Mosuo people still retain the ancient form of "separate farming and food sharing". This productive labor process provides young men and women with opportunities to understand each other, and love is born in this soil. Their virtues of solidarity and mutual help, simplicity, generosity, enthusiasm and generosity have become commonplace, sincere, touching and enviable.

When boys and girls reach the age of 13, the "matrilineal" family will hold a "coming-of-age ceremony" for them, wearing skirts for girls and pants for boys. This ceremony has a profound impact on the Mosuo people's life. are all crucial. The "Commissioning Ceremony" is held on the first day of the Lunar New Year. When the rooster crows every time, the mother wakes up the child, washes her face and combs her hair, and burns the fire in the fire pit of the wooden bungalow so brightly that the uncles cannot move it. Pig fat meat and a bag of grain, the grandmother or mother brought new pants and skirts, and put them on after praying in front of the pot pile.

Girls wear small braids before the age of 13, and then start to grow long braids. In the past, black yak tail hair was used, but now black wool is used. Black silk thread is used to braid the hair into a big braid and wrap the head in a big bun, dressing up like an adult woman. The mother asked the girl to stand next to a "goddess pillar" on the right side of the fire pit in the center of the main room. She took off her old gown and put on a black gold velvet or red gold velvet short top with a golden cross-collar and right opening, and a white or sky blue white pleated long top. skirt, a wide embroidered red belt, and a red flower on the braided head. The long white pleated skirts, clothing and hair styles worn by Mosuo girls are very beautiful.

For boys who are over 13 years old, their uncle will take off their old long cloth shirts and put them on short coats, wide-leg trousers, and colorful belts, just like adults. The child who is holding the rite of passage must step on the pig fat with one foot and the grain bag with the other to indicate that he will have food and clothing in the future. He must accept the blessings of his mother, elders, brothers and sisters, salute to the elders, and bow to the "pot pile". "Shi" salutes, and then the adults will lead the relatives and friends away, accept their congratulations and gifts, and finally entertain the relatives and friends. Due to regional relationships, the "Chengding Ceremony" has differences in some places, but in general it is still the same.

These ancient etiquette allow boys and girls to receive the first lesson of adult education. From then on, they take the steps of life, enter adolescence, and become official members of the "matrilineal" family. Girls learn financial management skills from their mothers, and boys learn the knowledge and skills that men should know from their uncles. These are all imparted by direct experience, which can be described as "teaching by words and deeds."

After a girl “wears a skirt” at the age of 13, mothers will say, “The little bird is out of the nest. It’s time to learn to fly on its own. Don’t play with the little ones anymore.” When they are seven or eight years old, their mother or grandmother will not allow them to sleep by the big fire pit in the big wooden bungalow, and ask them to live in the boudoir specially prepared for their daughters on the gate tower. Use various contacts to send gifts. In this nation, girls will never ask for favors from men. Men come to the door on their own initiative. If a girl really likes you, she will give you a love token, ask you to come to her house to propose marriage, and hold a "walking marriage" ceremony. , they agreed to meet each other at night with a code word, and she would open the door as soon as you said so. Over time, they would form a lasting friendship.

From then on, their relationship became public and they no longer "leaved" secretly. When you came, you were invited to sit by the fire pit in the big bungalow of the wooden house. Mother killed chickens, sheep, and cooked pig fat for you. The uncles I'll pour you some wine...

On the third day after the child comes into this world, the child will be washed, which is called "Da Sanchao". The uncle names it and takes it out to bask in the sun. , take a walk in the yard. After the full moon, the child's "Ari" (meaning grandma) carries pork, sheep, chickens and daily necessities for the child, and also brings gifts for the grandmother, mother and uncle to see the child.

In their clan, "Ada" (the father) must hold a ceremony to recognize a child: first respect the ancestors, and then invite the neighbor mothers to have a meal, so that the villagers know whose clan the baby belongs to. , but the child cannot be taken away. The child is a member of this "matrilineal" clan family, and the groom's family must not take away the child. By this time some men will live in the woman's house, but not for long. If you come to the woman's house, the status of the "husband" is very low. He has to be careful at all times, behave in a proper manner, check his behavior at all times, and complete the tasks assigned by the housewife. Next to the fire pit in the living room of the wooden house, the "son-in-law" could only sit cross-legged below, and the housewife gave him a portion of food. If the "son-in-law" does not perform well in all aspects, he will return to his mother in despair. This is the whole process of "walking marriage". Nowadays, with the changes in the social structure, men and women who work in state administrative agencies, workers, teachers, etc. are practicing monogamy outside the home. In rural areas, some men and women are also monogamous, accounting for about 30%. , various customs have been evolving since liberation.