1, one day, I went for a walk in the park with a buddy, and suddenly I found a flock of geese flying south overhead. I saw the buddy beside me crying, and I was puzzled. I was still talking and laughing just now, so I cried. So, I asked this guy what he was swollen. The elder brothers pointed to the geese on their fingers and said, don't you find that they are lined up in a word "one" for a while and a word "person" for a while, and even these stupid birds are laughing at me for being single ...
2. My friends like parties when they have nothing to do. Another friend and I have a hobby, that is, when eating chicken and duck, we especially like to eat chicken's ass or duck's ass, and sometimes we grab it at the dinner table, which is faster than anyone else. Once, he and I were eating roast duck in Quanjude. When the roast duck was just served, he grabbed the duck's butt into his mouth like an arrow when I didn't notice it. Later, I looked for it on the plate and whispered, "How come today's ducks don't have a duck's butt to pinch?" He proudly pointed to his mouth and said, "Look, here's my ass ..."
3. One day at home, I suddenly found that my mobile phone was gone. I searched my bag, every corner and the ground, but I couldn't find it. So, I sat down on the ground, took out my mobile phone from my pocket, and sent a group message to everyone: I just lost my mobile phone. If I find someone pretending to be me and telling you something with my mobile phone, don't pay attention to him ...
4. One day, when the whole class was in computer class, many students' computers crashed. Then, a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, my computer was poisoned and crashed." At this time, many students followed suit and said, "We are also poisoned to death." The teacher was a little depressed and asked, "Is there anyone who is not dead?" A classmate proudly stood up and replied, "Yes, I'm not dead yet!" " The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead, so why aren't you dead?"
5. Kaifeng organized a barbecue in the wild. Zhan Zhao: I'll take care of the meat. Gongsun Ce: I'll take the barbecue. Dynasty: I'll take the dip. Mahan: I'll pay for the venue. Bao Zheng asked everyone cheerfully: What does this house cover? Gongsun Ce said: Of course, it's wrapped in black charcoal.
6. Many people like to pretend that they don't understand this set in their daily life. For example, when they sell waste products, they deliberately gather together to see the weight, and when they buy watermelons, they pretend to learn from others. Today, I came across such an interesting thing. When I bought watermelons, I saw a big sister next to me professionally picking up half a watermelon and putting it by her ear, listening while shooting. Brother hawker looked at her blankly for a while: Elder sister, my watermelon has been cut, why are you still patting it?
7. I remember a summer long ago, I followed my cousin to work at the construction site. At that time, the food was really bad. After work that night, I made some tofu from the canteen and bean sprouts went back to the dormitory. No sooner had I eaten than my cousin came and said that my cousin went out to eat. I was so excited that I quickly threw the food into the trash can. I followed my cousin out of the door. My cousin said it was too hot in the room. Come out to eat and cool down. ...
8. The female accountant in the company has always been serious, so she won't resign ... The boss held a small meeting to see her off ... The boss made all kinds of pleasantries, boasted a lot ... The accountant stood there all the time and smiled occasionally ... After the boss finished his speech, he said to her: Here, let's say a few words ... Accounting: I'll just say one word! Accounting: Boss, you didn't give me the breakfast and money I brought you last time!
9. My buddy talked with his girlfriend for several years, and never touched her during the period. She said that the first time was on the wedding night today, and she finally got married. Seeing her put on a wedding dress, my buddy was very happy! The emcee said to him, now you can wear it for your beautiful bride. Put on the ring, if you take the left leg first, you will have a son in the future, and vice versa! My buddy wants a twin, so he's going to jump over with his legs. Just then, his wife stopped him and said, take your left leg, or it won't work!
10, the eldest son suddenly asked his grandfather: If you caught a few pandas in the early years of liberation, our family would become a rich man now! I followed suit: Yes, then I am a rich second generation. Dad: Come on, I used to eat bark and leaves to dig bamboo shoots myself, so I would let it compete with me for food. I've already stewed it.