An elder who often lingers in romantic places told me a philosophical sentence: "From my ten years' personal experience, all the girls who come out to play are ugly girls who have just debuted, and there is even an old saying circulating in the rivers and lakes: crooked melons and cracked dates are often the most delicious. "
On the bench in the community square, an old couple chatted, and the husband cut his nails for his wife, which was warm and happy. The wife complained, "Look at him, so old and so cute. You have never cut my nails. " The next morning, I cut my wife's nails before she woke up.
My best friend opened a shop on Taobao. I woke up one morning and thought there would be a lot of orders, but I found nothing. Instead, I got several bad reviews. I have no choice but to call the buyer and ask him what he is dissatisfied with. As a result, the buyer told her that he just felt lonely and wanted to talk to someone! Damn it, you are also doing part-time chat!
My left eyelid jumped all afternoon, and my colleague said, this is a good sign. My left eye jumps for money and my right eye jumps for disaster. Walk with your head down when you go home, and maybe you can find money! I watched the road after work, so that a van stopped in front of me, and I didn't have time to brake the electric donkey "Bang, duang~". A bag the size of a walnut suddenly appeared on my forehead, and my eyelids stopped jumping! !
Since listening to Crazy English, my back is sore, my legs don't hurt, and I sleep soundly. I failed in English before, but now I fail in Chinese. .
Just now, on the bus, an old man suddenly came over. I didn't even think about giving up my seat decisively. The old man was very moved. As a result, the old man said you were a good man. Why don't we become sworn brothers? I said you are old this year, and the old man said 93. I said ok, but there is really no reason to refuse. Grandpa knelt on the ground and said, don't expect to be born on the same day in the same year and die on the same day in the same year. What's wrong?
When I first entered junior high school, I once offended a junior high school punk for some reason. My friend advised me to buy a pack of cigarettes and apologize to him. . . Reluctantly, I bought a cigarette and searched the whole school for him. Finally, I found him in the toilet behind the school. He squatted in the pit. As soon as my brain was hot, I kicked him into the toilet. His ass went straight to the pit, which was terrible. . . Then I was blocked by him several times. . .
I was naughty when I was a child, and sometimes I got burned. Usually my mother puts some homemade sauce (soy sauce) on me, and it won't take long. I burned my hand playing with fire at menstruation's house in the summer vacation, but she didn't have soy sauce at home. I think soy sauce can treat burns, because it is salty, so I sprinkled salt on the burns. ...
Just to catch a glimpse of the goddess, he hid downstairs in the early morning and dialed her mobile phone with a strange number: your courier arrived! He was very excited when he heard her footsteps rushing downstairs. Finally, I saw the beauty of the goddess ... He silently turned off his mobile phone, sighed and disappeared into the morning fog.
The true story of a friend of a friend … driving a new car to a hotel for dinner, but I didn't find it after the end. I called the police decisively and still couldn't find it. Can't buy a new car in the meantime. A month later, I also went to the It' Hotel, but I couldn't find a parking space, so I had to park my car in the underground parking lot of the community opposite the hotel. You guessed it, he found his old car parked there, and then he suddenly realized. ...
Very delicious classic 40 mood phrases
1. Socializing is very tiring, because everyone tries to show qualities that they don't actually have.
Scorpion is small, but it must be prevented from hurting people. Although the fault is small, we should prevent it from harming others.
All the victories are insignificant compared with the victories of conquering oneself.
Time tells me that the era of unreasonable troubles has passed and it is time to be sensible.
Life is so short, if you don't give up today, you may not get it tomorrow.
6. Mountains have high slopes, rivers are wide and deep, and people have shortcomings and mistakes.
7. People who talk less are not necessarily smart and brave, nor are they necessarily not serious when talking and laughing.
8. The greater the risk, the more you need to be cautious.
9. Failure-the strong use commas and the weak use periods.
10. A broken kite, though unrestrained, will surely be planted in the ground soon.
1 1. The goldfish swims leisurely in the delicate glass, and it will never enjoy the joy of overcoming the wind and waves.
12. Honesty is the foundation of being a man, honesty is the foundation of starting a business, fairness is the first, and comity is the most important thing to treat people.
13, falling is a shame, standing up is dignity.
14, study, study, study again! Study and then know enough.
15, whoever learns is strong, who sees who is far away.
16. People offline never know how long people online have been waiting for her.
17, if you can help others, try to help. Don't force yourself if you can't help.
18, a person who is obsessed with the past cannot embrace today with open arms.
19, the most difficult occupation is how to be a person.
20. If you have ever regarded failure as a sobering agent, don't let success turn into ecstasy.
2 1, disguised kindness is more terrible than real cruelty.
22. People who show their height by stepping on others' shoulders will become real dwarfs sooner or later.
23. Give up on yourself and trust others. This is the reason for the failure.
24. Praise before death is often false, and comments after death are often true.
25. Walking with head down only sees the massiness of the earth but ignores the height of the sky; Looking up and walking, I only see the vastness of the sky, but I ignore the hardships and precipitousness under my feet.
26. It is not noble to achieve noble goals by despicable means.
27. Life is like a ball. No matter how I roll around, it always stops at a certain point.
28. In life, you don't want to live perfectly, but you want to live realistically.
29. Adversity makes you smart, but it can't make you rich.
30. Simple thinking in complexity is the difference between humans and animals.
3 1. Of all the oral and handwritten sentences, the saddest one is "I could have ..."
32. When a person starts to struggle from his own heart, he is a valuable person.
33. The climber conceived a long poem about faith and will with wisdom and sweat.
34. People who are insatiable will always have nothing in the end.
35. Sometimes, after sticking to what you don't want to do most, you will get what you want most.
36. The most difficult stage in life is not that no one understands you, but that you don't understand yourself.
When you face setbacks and disappointments, you should have a calm mind. Only when you understand peace can you understand life.
Let's replace our worries with our ideas and plans in advance!
39. The curtain of the life stage may open at any time. The key is whether you are willing to perform or choose to escape.
40. The saddest thing about people is that they can't beat themselves.
Forty funny sentences about eating durian in the car.
Eating durian in the car is a funny sentence (1) 1. I like eating durian very much recently. Brother Dong has a face of vomiting every time he watches me eat. I really don't like these foods.
2. What is happiness? Happiness is eating durian. How can I solve your worries? Only food.
After eating durian for three days in a row, my mother asked me if I still need to weigh.
I just ate a piece of durian, and then I want to say to it, "I will never see you again in my life."
5. I really want to eat durian durian pizza durian cake durian Melaleuca is very uncomfortable to see the refrigerator gradually empty.
6. The New Year's phone call is over. Children who like durian will eat your father together in the future.
7. I don't know who eats durian on the bus. It smells like durian. It's so strong that it's killing me.
8. It's a pity to know that some people around you don't like durian and don't eat durian. It was so delicious that they all refused to taste it. It seems that we can only eat more.
9. Before I said I liked durian, my boyfriend bought Maoshanwang durian directly!
10. I ate an extra piece of durian in the office, and the result was another rainstorm.
1 1. I suddenly wanted to eat durian, so I simply ordered takeout. After eating, I just feel fragrant in my mouth.
12. On the train, two little dolls were eating durian opposite me. They kept swinging their feet, kicking me for a while and kicking me for a while. It's so rhythmic
13. I don't want to eat every day. Eating makes me unhappy. I want to eat McDonald's baked durian pizza, glutinous rice chicken tofu brain, but I just don't want to eat it.
14. I felt guilty after eating two pieces of durian and exercised for an hour to make up for it.
15. I have a lot of scruples about the joy of my old mother eating durian at that moment. It is delicious. I love durian!
16. You like durian very much. You said it tasted bad, but it was really delicious.
17. Life is like durian. The better you cross, the sweeter you eat.
18. I ate an extra piece of durian in the office, and the result was another rainstorm.
19. The first time I ate something with durian flavor, the taste was simply too high.
20. There is nothing in the world that durian can't solve. If one piece is not enough, come to the whole piece.
The funny sentence of eating durian in the car (Chapter 2) 2 1. Eat half a durian and be revived with blood!
22. Orchid crabs are super fresh and tender, and durian blooms super well. It's full. There's some left.
23. It will be fun to eat durian, and it is rare to have a holiday tomorrow weekend.
24. I ate seven or eight pounds of durian at a meal. The whole person is refreshed.
25. If I had been sitting under the durian tree, my work would not be so easy now.
26. I always feel that I said I would never eat durian again this year, but I started eating it again. It's so sweet and delicious.
27. Today's happiness comes from half a piece of durian-flavored bread with a thickness of one meter.
28. Is it true that people who love coriander prefer durian?
29. I thought I would eat snail powder if I liked durian very much, until I found out I was wrong just now.
30. Eating durian is disliked by her husband, saying how a beautiful girl likes something.
3 1. What a pity! Durian can't be eaten You can only stand in front of a pile of durians and smell them when you go to the supermarket. Similarly, there are mangoes and pineapples.
32. I like to eat durian cake, durian pizza and snail powder. I admit that I am a man of heavy taste.
33. I ate durian and thought it was mine.
34. A day of love. I really wanted to eat durian in the afternoon, but no one told anyone. I ended up eating durian at night.
35. Durian, it has no beautiful appearance, smooth skin and attractive taste. People avoid it when they see it. I have the same fate as it. I have no beautiful appearance, no clever mind, no lovely smile, only a mediocre life! Therefore, durian and I are good friends, because we are in the same boat!
36. What's new today? Xiao Chang knows that I like durian. I bought a big one to pick me up yesterday. I can only give my uncle a lovely order. He bought another one today, but he was angry and unfamiliar with it. He called directly: How can you eat durian in your mouth?
37. The most wonderful thing in life is to wake up naturally, enjoy the tropical scenery and eat durian on the balcony rattan chair.
38. I ate stinky tofu the day before yesterday, durian yesterday and snail powder today.
39. I really like desserts. Every bite is great, which means I like durian, but it's delicious.
40. I am so happy. The durian bought by my roommate is too fragrant. I haven't eaten durian for a long time, and my roommate Taitung brought back shrimp slippery. I want to go home, so I have to eat durian when I go home.
The more wine you drink, the better it smells.
The more wine you drink, the better it smells. Friends circle copy (Part I) 1. How much sadness can there be, just like a pot of Erguotou.
2. The style of wine is style, and the bottle is level.
I want to cry, and my eyes are full of tears. I want to laugh, but I can't move my mouth. I just want to numb all my thoughts with alcohol.
4. Feelings are too weak to drink.
I was drunk, and nobody would accept it, so I helped the wall.
6. The theoretical basis of fighting in wineries is: small wine does small things, big wine does big things, and good things last for a long time. Nothing can be done without wine.
7. Wine is like a woman, and there are gains and losses in life. A successful woman can be intertwined in life and never let go of a man. A frustrated woman, in tears, raised her glass and was drunk alone.
8. Bold words and strong spirits. Sweet talk, persuade friends to drink more. Nonsense, no depth of thought. No words, dream. Talk to yourself, wake up and regret it.
9. Time flies like lightning, so it's hard to catch up.
10. Don't drink too much in the morning. How many tables are left tonight? Don't get drunk when drinking at noon, and the department will have a meeting in the afternoon; You can't drink at night, lest your wife look everywhere.
1 1. Middle-level cadres don't drink and have no information at all.
12. Deep feelings, a stuffy; Shallow feelings, lick it; Feelings are thick and you don't drink enough; Emotional iron, drinking blood.
13. Qian Shan always loves thousands of waters. Can you drink less?
14. Wine makes a hero and refuses to accept his wife.
15. Give up drinking once and you will fail.
16. The longer the wine, the more mellow it is, and the longer friends meet, the more true it is; The water is getting clearer and clearer, and the vicissitudes of life are getting lighter and lighter.
17. It's raining in the sky and the ground is dry. That cup just now doesn't count.
The more you drink, the more delicious it is. Friends circle copy (Chapter II) 18. Would you like to be an old friend? You can also go drinking together if you are white.
19. One hundred cups to drink and one pillow to put together for the New Year.
20. If you don't drink enough, you will lose your mind and discipline yourself not to drink.
2 1. Go back to Jialing River and drink it as soup.
22. virgin stage, strictly guard against death. Young woman stage, half-pushing. In the prime of life, everything is not enough. Widow stage, I will fight with you. Old lady stage, no, you can still fool.
23. A hundred rivers return to the East China Sea. When shall we drink again? If you don't drink now, you will be sad in the future.
24. People can't walk in rivers and lakes without wine, and people can't float in rivers and lakes without wine.
25. If you are not drunk, I am not drunk. Who wants to sleep?
Men don't drink, which is a waste in the world.
27. Brother, you drink this wine first, and I'll handle it.
28. Women who drink alcohol pour wine, drink affection and get drunk by love.
29. I want to give up drinking, but what I hate most in my life is wasting alcohol.
30. Wine is a pack of medicine. You can't sleep without it!
3 1. Pretend to be indifferent and use alcohol paralysis to make yourself look numb.
32. You can get around without drinking. How can people not drink too much when they are floating in rivers and lakes?
33. Waiter, has this wine been watered?
34. Only when you are drunk and ambitious do you dare to let your wife scold you for three days!
The more wine you drink, the better it smells. 35. The whole world is drunk and awake, and we have to wait on them again.
36. You asked me if I like drinking alone. I told you, I lack too much in my life, but I don't lack you.
37. Men don't drink and live like dogs, men don't smoke and live like eunuchs, women don't wear makeup and women don't smoke.
38. I don't want to drink, I don't want to, I can't help it.
39. It's too early to get promoted in the middle of the race.
40. deep feelings, a stuffy. Feelings are shallow, lick it. Strong feelings, not enough to drink. Feelings are too weak to drink.
4 1. If you blow, you won't cry, and you won't get drunk.
42. Show your talents in times of crisis. My sister drinks a glass of Song He wine for her brother.
43. Wine is a magic that can relax the tongue and make the story vivid.
44. To make the guests drink well, the individual must drink first.
45. Half awake and half drunk day after day, flowers bloom every year.
46. A person drinking is lonely, while a group of people drinking is lonely for fun. Five or six glasses of beer, thinking that a person is drunk. Let's drink to the loneliness at dawn.
47. It's easy to stand and talk, but drinking doesn't count.
48. It's better to doze off than to be drunk.
49. The sound of a thousand years comes to the pillow, and the shadow falls on the five old peaks in the cup.
50. Drink less blood and wine, and you can't live if you drink too much.