Requesting 100 jokes

1. The turtle was bathing in the river and was seen by the toad.

Turtle: Have you never seen a beauty like me? Your eyes are about to pop out.

Toad: Sister, please stop teasing me. Didn’t you see that I have goosebumps on my body?

2. Huang Ying saw the weasel looking for food and said: "You are a thief who has been sneaking around all day long. You have brought shame on the old Huang family."

As soon as she finished speaking , the oriole was shot down, and the weasel scolded: "Silly X, you don't know that we are cracking down on pornography now!"

3. Dragonfly made a girlfriend "Cicada". Mother Dragonfly asked worriedly: What kind of job does she have?

Dragonfly: That’s a singer!

Dragonfly Mom: Singer? I used to be a tunnel digger!

4. An ant quarreled with a crow on the tree!

Ant: If you have the guts, come down!

Crow: If you have the guts, then come down! Come up here!

Ant: Okay! Just wait for me, I’ll see you soon!

Crow: What do you want?

Ant: I’ll do it right away Go and ask all my brothers to shake you down and throw you to death!

5. Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery. The dung beetle said: If I want to win the jackpot, I will use all the toilets within a 50-mile radius. Buy it and eat enough every day!

Dung Beetle B: You are so vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

6. The male butterfly sang to the female butterfly: "You are my lover, a woman like a rose!" After singing, he flew to pick roses.

There was a scream, and the female butterfly sang: "My dear, fly slowly, be careful of the roses with thorns in front of you!"

7. A pair of ducks came to the river While playing, I saw a couple of frogs hibernating in caves on the river bank. Duck: Look, how happy. Female duck to male duck: Don't look at it, he is the big boss, he lives in a villa and spends his honeymoon, we should never think about it in this life!

8. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river. He caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still didn’t catch anything and went home.

On the third day, as soon as the little white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

What the hell if you dare to use a carrot again? If you use it as bait, I will crush you to death!

1. The most "warm" affair

When a woman was lying on the bed and having sex with her lover, she suddenly heard the sound of her husband opening the door and entering the house. "Quick! Stand in that corner and don't move!" The woman quickly rubbed baby oil all over his body, sprinkled lime powder all over his body, and told him softly, "Stand there and don't move, you just pretend to be a plaster statue." She said. When the husband entered the room, he pointed at something in the corner: "What is that?" The woman said calmly, "Oh! It's just a plaster statue. There is also one in the Cai family's bedroom. I think it's quite beautiful, so I made it too. The couple went home to decorate the statue." The couple stopped talking about the plaster statue until they went to bed. At about two o'clock in the morning, my husband got up and went to the kitchen to eat. When he returned to the room, he had a sandwich and a glass of milk in his hand. He handed it to the plaster statue and said, "Take it and have something to eat! Don't be like me, standing at Cai's house." For three days, I didn’t even have a sip of water.”

2. The most “funny” affair

The husband and wife have lovers outside, and they often go out to find excitement. People rarely spend the night together. One day when both of them were at home, they both felt a little guilty about each other, so they were extra gentle. Not wanting the two of them to sleep soundly until early in the morning, the wife suddenly turned over and sat up, dreaming loudly: "No, my husband is back!" Upon hearing this, the husband immediately got up, quickly picked up all the clothes, and jumped out of the window. ......

6. The most "inexplicable" affair

There is a seaside village. Most of the men in the village often go to sea and are away from home for a long time. Almost every woman in the village has an affair, but after the affair they go to the priest to confess.

After a while, the priest suggested to the women: "From now on, we will call the word "infidelity" a fall. Just say "fall" and I will know!" Later, the old priest retired. Before he left, he specifically told the village chief to The meaning of these two words [fall] was conveyed to the new priest, but after the new priest took office, the village chief forgot to tell the new priest this matter. Women still go to the priest for confession. Every day someone tells the priest that I fell today. Because too many people fell, the priest went to the village chief. He suggested that the village chief strengthen road construction to prevent too many people from falling. Unexpectedly, the village chief burst out laughing after hearing this. The priest didn't know why. Seeing the village chief smiling so happily, he said angrily: "Why are you laughing! The village chief's wife has fallen down three times this week!"

8. The most "unexpected" affair

There is a middle-aged couple who have two very beautiful daughters, but they have always longed to have a son. They finally decided to make a last-ditch attempt. After several months of hard work, Huangtian paid off and the wife became pregnant. Nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy little boy. The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his newborn son and was horrified by what he saw. His son turned out to be the ugliest baby he had ever seen. He ran to see his wife and told her that he could never be the father of the baby, and asked his wife fiercely: "Are you stealing a man behind my back?" His wife smiled at him sweetly and said: "Not this time."

9. The most "tragic" affair

Lao Zheng was lying on the hospital bed dying, and his wife Xiao Chan was sitting by the bed, holding his hand. With tears streaming down my face, I muttered a prayer. Lao Zheng opened his weak eyes and looked at Xiao Chan, opened his pale lips and said softly: "Dear Xiao Chan,..." Xiao Chan covered his mouth: "You are tired! Go to sleep quietly, "Be good, don't talk!" Lao Zheng said weakly: "But I have something to confess to you!" "There is nothing to confess! You are tired, so you should sleep well!" "No! No! No! I must confess my love, and I want to die peacefully. I once slept with your sister, your best friend, and your best friend's friend." Xiaochan sobbed softly: " I know, that’s why I poisoned you!”

10. The most “troublesome” affair

Two women drank in the suburbs until the sky. Bright and bright. On the way back, they couldn't bear the anxiety, so they walked into a cemetery on the roadside. Because she didn't bring toilet paper, the first woman took off her underwear, wiped it, and threw away her underwear. The second woman found a wreath next to it, so she tore off the elegiac couplet and wiped it. Not long after the two women returned home, their husbands exchanged phone calls. "It seems we have to be careful. There must have been something wrong with them last night. I found that my wife was not wearing underwear when she came back!", "I was even worse. I found a note on my wife's butt that said: ' I will never forget you!" 4. Mr. Zhang, who graduated from the police academy, has been married for two years and always feels something strange about his wife and suspects that she is having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang always found a text message from a stranger on his wife's mobile phone, and the content of each text message was the same: "Brother Zhao asked you to do something for me."!

At 11 o'clock in the evening, Mr. Zhang captured his cheating wife and the man who was having an affair in one fell swoop.

Mr. Zhang cursed: You underestimate me. Do you think I don’t understand that text message? Read it backwards and read, “I will help you take off your bra at half past ten”

5. Dragon Boat Festival The turtle wanted to eat rice dumplings, so he asked the snail to buy rice dumplings. After 2 hours, the snail still hadn't come back. The turtle yelled anxiously: "I'll starve to death if I don't come back!" Then the snail's voice came from outside the door: "You." Damn it, I won't go!

One day, the cow asked the donkey which of the two bugs under the word "Stupid" was male or female. The donkey racked his brains. Unable to answer. Niu scolded: What a stupid ass, the man is left and the woman is right!

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project to build a thirty-meter chimney, which took two years to complete. It cost 300,000 yuan, but it was finally completed at the end of last year. Today I went to inspect it, but I was scolded and didn't get the money.

Damn it! The drawings are wrong, they want to dig a well!

4. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." Damn, there was a bastard passing by there. He thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

9. Someone raised a pig, got tired of it, and abandoned it, but the pig knew the way back and counted it. Give up without success. One day, he drove around many corners and abandoned the pig. He called his family late at night and asked, "Has the pig returned?" The answer was, "Yes!" He roared, "Let him answer the phone. I'm lost!"?

10. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants came out in large numbers and climbed on the elephant one after another. The elephant shook himself and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another ant on the elephant's neck, and the fallen ant shouted "Strangle it to death".

11. One day in computer class, a row of classmates’ computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer has crashed, and our row is all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are also dead." At this time, the teacher asked: "Who is not dead? "Only one student stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" 13. Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I stupid? Child?"

Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy..."

15. There was a man who just learned a foreign language. He was walking on the street today. I accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot, and the man hurriedly said: "I'm sorry." The foreigner also politely said: "I'm sorry too." When the man heard this, he hurriedly said: "I'm sorry." Sorry three." The foreigner was dumbfounded and asked: "What are you sorry for?" The man said helplessly: "I'm sorry five."

17.? A patient with indigestion asked The doctor complained: I have been very abnormal recently. I have pooped out whatever I eat. I eat cucumbers and poop cucumbers and watermelons. How can I get back to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

18. Someone went to Shanghai on a business trip and lost a dollar on the street. The police said, "We will help you find it." The man went back a month later, and the street where he lost the money was blocked due to road construction. After digging, he couldn't help but sigh, "Shanghai is the real thing."

19. One day, an ant was basking in the sun. Suddenly he saw an elephant walking slowly. He stood up and straightened his front legs. The rabbit next to him I'm asking you what are you doing? The ant said: "Shh~~~~~~~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him"

20. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton. Earthworm's mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Earthworm's father thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football

21. The tortoise and the hare... The hare The turtle quickly ran to the front... The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you... Then... the snail came up... After a while. The turtle saw an ant again and said to him: Come up too. So the ant came up too. After the ant came up, he saw the snail above and said "Hello" to him. You know. What did the snail say? The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

22. One day, a fire broke out in the house. The parents escaped, and only one son was left inside.

The mother shouted nervously outside the house: "Son...you are doing it...it's on fire and you can't come out..." The son replied: "I'm putting on socks... .." The mother said again, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out yet... The mother nervously shouted again, "Son, what on earth are you doing?" Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, and you’re still in there..." My son said, "I’m taking off my socks...

23. A man went to the river to fish first. After wearing a leaf, no fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed it to a piece of bread. Again, no fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change it for earthworms. Still no fish took the bait for a long time. He was so angry that he took out 100rmb and threw it into the water. Cursed: "*—# What do you want to eat! Go buy it yourself! ! !

24. My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot into his nose. gt who was writing on the blackboard; the Chinese teacher suddenly turned around and shouted: "That's enough! Stop it! It's so noisy!" The whole class was quiet. The teacher said again: "Who is eating noodles in class and making such a loud noise?"

25. The patient said to the dentist: "You are really good at making money. You made 3 dollars in just 3 seconds." Dollars." The doctor replied, "I can pull it out for you in slow motion if you want.

26. "Narcissism" means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that when I order two dishes at a restaurant, I eat the first one: "In the world Is there anything tastier than this?!" Eat the second one. "Damn! There really is!" "Speechless" is when the judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money

27. The Weaver Girl went down to the earth to take a bath and met the Cowherd, and performed a love story that shocked the world and made us cry. This incident tells us: there is no chance to take a bath at home, so you must take a bath outside...

28. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher: "There are a lot of ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiao Ming: "How do you say ant?" Xiao Ming looked confused... Said: "Ant... didn't say anything..."

29. A man kept farting loudly at work, and his colleagues couldn't help but said to him: "Can you not make any noise?" Then I saw him sitting there shaking non-stop. A colleague asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied: "I am silent, and now I have set it to vibrating!!!"

30. Female Mosquito : "Child, what's wrong with you?" The little mosquito cried and said, "Today, the little flies bullied me, saying that I am bloodthirsty and a vampire." The female mosquito said, "Don't pay attention to it, they are not good things either. Everyone grew up eating shit

31. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the lt; treasure appraisal gt; column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "Where is this?" Is it from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

32. Son: "Mom, I failed the math test today" Mother: "Why, what question." Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3 =?I said =6." Mother: "That's right, what next." Son: "Then the teacher asked me again 3*2=?" Mother: "Aren't these the same thing!" Son: "Me too. That's what I said...

33. A prisoner was executed by firing squad. The bullets were produced in "XX County" and were of poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired... and the third shot was fired. ...At this time the prisoner cried: "Strangle me to death, it's too scary!"

34. The father told his son a story: "The uncle asked Xiaoyang to chop wood, but he didn't expect it." Xiaoyang cut down his uncle's favorite peach tree. The uncle was very angry when he saw it but didn't scold him. Do you know why?" The son replied: "Maybe it's because Xiaoyang still had an ax in his hand, so he didn't dare. Scold him

36. A man can't find a girlfriend, so he has no choice but to go to fortune telling. The fortune teller said: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life; but the man's eyes lit up: Then I should have one in the second half of my life. Right? The fortune teller said: Hey, you will get used to living alone in the rest of your life

37. When someone was eating, he couldn’t see a piece of beef in the beef ramen, so he pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: Beef ramen Why is there no beef? The boss said calmly: Don’t take it too seriously. Do you still expect to get a wife out of the wife cake?

38. The three mice tasted American, Japanese and Chinese wine respectively and drank. The mouse who drank American wine took 3 steps and fell over; the mouse who drank Japanese wine took 2 steps and fell over; the mouse who drank Chinese Erguotou held a kitchen knife in his hand and shouted: "Where is the TMD cat?"

39. While eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called to the waiter and asked, "Why is the braised fish I ordered not ready yet?" "Please wait a moment, sir." "What?" Do you have to wait?" The customer got angry and said, "Are your fish caught fresh?"

41. A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife who had just come back shouted: "Don't do it, dear. Impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing next to him said: "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this

42. The director and the section chief were riding in the elevator. The director farted and said to the section chief, "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't do it." Soon after, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: " You can't take on such big things, so what's the use of you?"

43. A lazy cat pursued a mouse crazily and finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way.

The mouse quickly became fat, and the mouse was very moved: "My dear, why are you so kind to me?" The cat chuckled and said, "You will know when you get a little fatter.

44. Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally by talking to myself: "I am very creative. Being ugly is not my original intention. God, please don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the world." Beautiful! In fact, I am really creative...

45. My friends went hiking together. At the top of the mountain, a girl faced the beautiful mountains and rivers and shouted: Motherland! My mother! A secret love Her boy quickly followed and shouted: Motherland! My mother-in-law!

46. I bought two puppies before, the one called "face" was given to you, and the one called "butt" was given to me! But "Lian" unfortunately died in a car accident two days later. Every time I see "butt", I think of your "face"! If your "face" is still there, it would be as big as your "butt" now!

47. After Tang Zeng drove away Wukong, he encountered another monster. He had to recite a tight spell to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon a voice came from the air: "I'm sorry. The user you called is not in the service area. Please try again later.

48. The mouse went to go to the convenience store and saw the bear. He was too frightened to say anything. The bear glanced at the mouse and said, "Are you shedding your hair?" The mouse trembled and said nothing. The bear asked again: "Are you going to shed your fur?" "The mouse said tremblingly: "Don't drop it..." The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped his butt and left! [He used the mouse as toilet paper...

50. On the panda's birthday, he said to everyone: I made two promises One wish is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo

51. The bee chases the butterfly, but the butterfly marries the snail. The bee wonders: How is he better than me. Good Butterfly replied: After all, I have my own house, but it’s not like you live in a dormitory

53. The production team bought a male donkey, but it died within a few days. The female donkey happened to be in heat and gave birth. The employees of the team called the captain of the production team who was on a business trip. "Captain, the female donkey is in heat, but the male donkey is dead. Should I buy a male donkey first or wait for you to come back?"

54 . Little dung beetle: Mom, why do we eat shit? Mother dung beetle: How can this child say such disgusting things while eating? 55. A shooting star flashed across the night sky, and I quickly made a wish, I hope you can become more beautiful. Who would have thought that just after making your wish, the meteor came back with a "swish" and said to me, "Brother, are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?!" !

56. Give me a steamed bun from the cafeteria as a fulcrum, and I can tilt the earth! lt; Understand, the steamed buns in this cafeteria are too hard...gt;

57. When I saw "The food in the cafeteria can only be fed to pigs, but it is still given to us?" I thought of a sentence Words. A classmate went to the cafeteria to prepare a meal. After the meal, he asked the cook, "Master, why is there rice in your sand!!!"

60. When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory were I like Zhou Huajian's songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl on the upper bunk asked: Where is my Zhou Huajian? The girl on the lower bunk replied: It's on my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then they all collapsed on the bed.

61. A certain boy nicknamed a certain boy in the same class, Fat Pig. The girl cried to the teacher and the teacher agreed to criticize the boy. The next day the teacher said to the class: "This boy is so stupid." It’s polite to give others nicknames casually, but you can’t just call them whatever they like, right?”

62. A police dog saw an ordinary dog ??approaching on the road and ran to question it fiercely: I am a police dog, what are you? Ordinary dogs would look at it with disdain and say: Idiot, look clearly, I am in plain clothes!

The Seven Fairies were bathing in the lake, but Bajie was too anxious to see them.

Tang Monk shouted seriously to the lake: Donor, be careful of the crocodiles!

The seven fairies rushed ashore naked.

Bajie sighed: The leader’s IQ cannot be surpassed.

Tang Monk and four others took a plane to travel. The plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, Tang Seng said, everyone should answer the questions, and those who can’t answer will jump down.

Tang Monk: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Seng: Give you a handful.

Tang Monk: Sha Monk, how many moons are there in the sky?

Sha Seng: One.

Tang Seng: I’ll give you one too.

Bajie on the side was happy, such a simple question.

Tang Monk: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

．．．．

Bajie jumped down.

Not long after, the four of them took a plane to travel again. It crashed again on the way and still only had three parachutes.

They continued to answer questions.

Tang Monk: Wukong, when was the People’s Republic of China established?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Seng: Give you a handful.

Tang Seng: Sha Seng, how many people died in the liberation war?

Sha Seng: 2.5 million people.

Tang Seng: I’ll give you one too.

Tang Monk: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people?

......Bajie jumped down by himself again.

The third time, the four of them took a plane to travel again, and there was another accident on the way.

At this time, Bajie said: Master, you don’t need to ask, I will dance by myself.

Then he jumped.

Tang Monk put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time

1. One night, a naked man hailed a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. The man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man! The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

2. Male and female friends sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a line: those who cross the line are animals. When she woke up and found that the man had really failed to pass the line, the woman slapped the man hard: You are worse than a beast! ?

3. One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He came up to talk to him and said: I am Hong Tao Liu. The foreign guest said: I am still the Seven of Diamonds! ?

4. Zai Zai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what will you do if someone hits your son?" Mom: "I will beat his son to take revenge!" Zai Zai: " ..."?

5. An old lady is illiterate, but likes to listen to the radio. She must listen to the weather forecast every day. One day I asked my family during dinner: "I have a question. Do you know where the local area is? It rains almost every day."?

6. A little mouse on the cliff waved a short It jumped off its front paws again and again, trying to learn to fly. The female bat next to it looked at it and its head was bruised and bloody, and said worriedly: Its father, if you don’t tell it, it is not our biological child! ?

7. I went to Mount Taishan with my friends to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed at the sky and said, "I saw it!" "I saw it too!" At this time, someone came out with his pants in his hands and cursed. : "If you see it, you will see it! What are you shouting about!"

2. A friend was selling popsicles in the park during his first work-study program, and he was too embarrassed to shout. Suddenly, someone shouted: "Selling popsicles~~~~Selling popsicles~~". When the friend heard this, he was very happy and shouted: "Me too~~~~Me too~~~~".

3． Not long after the ant and the elephant got married, the elephant died. The ant cried bitterly while burying the elephant: "My dear, why did you go so early? I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life!"

4. A boy who has a crush on a girl mustered up the courage to ask the girl what kind of boy she likes

"The one I like" the girl replied, even after asking the question several times, she got the same answer

The boy said in frustration : "Is it okay to have a flat head?"

5. One day, I was out of breath and chasing the last bus. As I chased, I shouted: Master! Master, wait for me~

Suddenly a passenger stuck his head out of the car window and said to me slowly: Wukong. Just stop chasing me

6. One day I was taking a biology test, and one of the questions was to guess the name of the bird by looking at its legs. A certain student really didn't understand and angrily tore up the paper and prepared to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him: "Which class are you in and what's your name?" A certain student lifted up his trouser legs and said: "Guess, you guess."

7. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader came to the stage to receive her. He took her hand and asked her for warmth. He refused to let go for a long time, and asked kindly: What is your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Malegbi. Songshou"

8. A man bought a parrot that could only say two words, "Who?". One day, the owner was not at home, and a gas man knocked on the door.

Parrot: Who is it?

Answer: The gas changer

Parrot: Who is it?

Answer: The gas changer

...

The master was lying down at the door of his home. The master was wondering, who is this?

Door Inside: Gas replacement

11. A professor was teaching in the field: "Scientific research must not be afraid of getting dirty..." Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate hurriedly said: "I'm not afraid of getting dirty..." Then he poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger and put it in his mouth to lick it clean. The professor said: "In addition, you must be good at observation. I just poked the dung with my middle finger, but I licked it." It’s the index finger. ”

14. Beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother, and the little guy answered the phone. Out of politeness, I also wanted to say hello to her. "My dear, where is mom?" "Going to Huaguo Mountain!" "..." "My dear, what are you doing?" "Auntie, you are so funny, I wasn't calling you!"

Colleague’s son, 4 years old. Classic sentence: "When I was young..."

15. There was a car accident on the road - a turtle trampled on a cow. The police are investigating the cause of the accident and said Wo Niu: How did the turtle hit you? Wo Niu, who was hanging a cast, recalled in panic: I don't remember, he was too fast at that time!

16. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was bored, he started to pluck out his own hair. One... two... three... Finally, no hair was left. He suddenly shouted... It's so cold. ah! ! ………………

17. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother will often ask her: "Beauty, has anyone called you that today?" The little girl actually sighed: "I guess they have seen me too much, that's all." I don’t think I’m beautiful.”

19. Two men went to play in the mountains. One of them accidentally slipped and fell off the cliff. The companion shouted anxiously: "Brother, how are you? Are you okay?". The man who fell only heard the reply: "I don't know. I’m still falling~~~~~”

20. I also agree. A man was riding a bicycle without holding the handlebars. He held his hands on his chest. When a traffic policeman saw it, he said: Good hands! The man replied, Hello, comrades!

21. The monkey asked the fox how to describe the elephant's fart in a song. The fox said: I miss Gu Juji so much. The ant heard it and said, "I thought it was a power train."

22. Two brothers were being chased by a tiger. The younger brother couldn't run anymore, so he said, "Brother, let's stop running and fight this beast to death." The older brother said, "Don't be ridiculous. I can't outrun it. As long as I can outrun you, that's fine." .

24. A fashionable woman walked onto the bus. When she saw an empty seat, she took out a tissue and wiped it violently. Just as she was about to sit down, she farted. A man next to her laughed and said: "I'm KAO, what a fool. "Mom is clean, and I have to blow it after wiping it"

25. The penguin was bored, so he wanted to go to the North Pole to play with the polar bear

He walked and walked for many years, and he was almost there, suddenly I remembered that the gas at home was not turned off properly

So I returned, walked and walked, and walked for many years. I turned off the gas, and set out again, and walked and walked, and walked for many years again

Finally arrived at the door of the polar bear and knocked:

——Polar bear! Come out to play!

Polar bear:

26. In junior high school, a certain math teacher rolled up his sleeves and shouted loudly: Students, I’m going to be deformed...

27. In the trial of three criminal suspects A, B and C,

The judge said to A: "Did you steal the thing?"

B replied: "No"

Judge Furious: “I didn’t ask you. "

C said: "I didn't say anything. "

28. On the plane, the crow said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The pig said to the stewardess: "Give me a glass of water too!" After hearing this, the stewardess separated the crow and the pig. They were thrown down from the plane together. The crow smiled and said to the pig: "You are stupid, I can fly~~~~

29. A rabbit walked into a store and asked the boss: Do you have carrots for sale here? My wife said: No. After a while, the rabbit came again and asked: Do you have any carrots for sale here? The boss said impatiently no! After a while, the rabbit came to ask again, and the boss finally couldn't bear it anymore: If you make trouble again, I will take a pair of scissors and cut off your ears!

After a while, the rabbit came again: Do you have any scissors for sale here? The boss said: No. The rabbit asked again: Do you have any carrots for sale here...

30. The devil caught the princess

The devil said: Just scream your throat out, no one will come to save you!

Princess: Broken throat, broken throat!

No one: Princess, I’m here to save you!

Demon King: Cao Cao will be here soon!

Cao Cao: Demon King, what did you call me for?

Demon King: Wow, I saw a ghost!

Ghost: Damn! was discovered.

Damn: Nonsense, who discovered me?

Who: None of my business!

Demon King: Oh, my god!

God: Who called me? !