2. Network chat men and women
Man: Sister, let's meet! I just want to invite you to dinner.
Women: Where can I eat? What grade? What price?
Man: As long as the sister is happy, the whole city restaurant with your point.
Women: Really? I don't think so.
Man: I believe my brother has the strength. ....
Female: Well, I'm afraid that point you do not go.
Male: As long as the sister is willing to see the brother immediately cash. Say where to go?
Female: go to your home, so that sister-in-law cooking to eat.
3. Wife: Hubby, tomorrow is the first day of the first month of the fifteenth, we go to see the lights, walk around to accompany the feelings of accompaniment ah! Oh
Husband: We do not need to accompany the feelings, deep enough, deeper will hit the lava.
Wife: Humph! If one day I can not take care of my own life, you can take care of me for the rest of my life? ....
Husband: If you have deep feelings for me, I'm sure you won't use me to take care of you for fear of dragging me down!
Wife: You! AH!!! ////
4. Learning fifth grade when the teacher assigned essay, the topic is: remember a tug of war. Requirements: to have a beginning after the end.
A student wrote:
This afternoon, we held a tug-of-war between class one and class two. (Beginning)
Their class drew over and our class drew over. (After)
In the end, our class won! (end)
The teacher was angry and drew a big circle in his book. And wrote the comment: too short! "After" should have been written at least ten times as much.
This student turned in his essay again and it became: ,
This afternoon, our Class 1 and Class 2 held a tug-of-war.
Their class pulled over, our class pulled over. They drew over, and we drew over. Their class drew over, our class drew over. (Written ten times)
In the end, our class won!
5. In the classroom, a beautiful female teacher explained to the children in a serious manner that "milk" means "small". For example, "piglet" means "little pig" and "pigeon" means "little pigeon". Xiaoming, please make a sentence with the word "milk".
Xiaoming: My family's financial condition is not very good, so I can only live in a 40-square-meter breast.
Teacher: (I'm dizzy) ...... This won't work ...... Change it.
Ming: I have to jump over a cleavage in front of my house every day to go to school.
Teacher: (dizzy) ...... not ...... change another one.
Xiaoming: ...... Teacher, I just can't think of anything else. Broke my nipples thinking about it.
Teacher: ......
6. A bus, a woman because she can not stand the stifling heat in the bus, she took advantage of people do not pay attention to, pleasantly sneak down the back of the clothes of the zipper, and indeed there is a cool feeling, and she put the zipper back on. Not long after, she felt hot again and pulled down the zipper. She pulled the zipper up and down several times. The man standing behind the woman spoke up, "Miss, what are your intentions, why do you keep zipping up my pants?"
7. A group of people traveling to a certain place, the local customary breakfast is steamed bread, rice and an egg each. This morning, one person peeled an egg, is bad, and the service lady said: "Give me a change, this egg is bad." Soon after, the lady came back, but forgetting which one it was, she shouted, "Whose egg is bad?" The crowd was silent. The lady shouted again, "Whose egg is broken?" , and still no one answered. At this point, the director of the restaurant came over and said to the waitress, "You're a rude little girl, you should have asked, 'Whose egg is broken?'" Suddenly, the director of the restaurant felt that this was not right, and hurriedly changed his tone and shouted again, "Which one is the bad egg?"
8. A driver was driving through a village in the Land of Daughters. He saw a woman with a dignified appearance and a graceful body, so he got out of the car and tried to molest her.
When the woman saw this, she panicked and shouted, "Somebody come, somebody come."
The driver, hearing this, jumped into the car and drove away.
The woman stomped her feet in the back of the car and said, "Coward, I just want to call a few more sisters to have fun with you, and I'm scared like this!"
9. A family's daughter wanted to get married, but the man was not a Buddhist and his parents did not agree. The man had to listen to the woman's advice to study Buddhism, early to obtain the approval of the prospective parents-in-law.
After a while, the parents asked the daughter about the man, and she told them that he had become a Buddhist. So the parents said, "Then you can get married."
"But ......" the daughter cried, choking back tears, "he believes too deeply and has become a monk."
10.Xiao Qian is a beautiful and attractive woman, but her digestive system is not very good, and thus she often farts. This day, on the bus Xiaochen let out another fart ...... standing next to her a classmate Xiaoliang immediately said: "Sorry, just now that fart is I let out", which, immediately won Xiaochen grateful gaze.
But, not a moment later, Xiaoqian another ...... another classmate Xiao Jiang also continued to say: "Just that was me put, I'm really sorry la!" Xiao Qian likewise cast a grateful look at Xiao Jiang.
But she couldn't help but let out another super loud, super smelly fart ...... At this point, another classmate, Xiao Chen, rushed to grab it and said, "Guys, from now on, any farts this lady lets out, they're on me."
11. Two seriously injured patients were chatting in the ward.
One said: "I'm really unlucky, yesterday I drove the new car I just bought out for a drive, and I was so proud of myself that I suddenly saw a sign in front of the road, which said something, too far away to see clearly. I hurriedly drove over to see the sign that said: "There is a ditch in front of you, please go around. But just after reading it, before I could react, I fell down with my car."
Saying this, he paused and asked, "Man, how did you get hurt so badly too? What happened to your injuries?"
The man suddenly gave him a hard stare and said, "What happened? I was digging a ditch!" 1, the turtle is bathing in the river by the toad saw,
Turtle: have not seen a beautiful woman like me? Look at your eyes are about to pop out.
The toad: Sister, don't tease me, can't you see that I have goosebumps on my body?
2. The yellow warbler saw the weasel in search of food and said, "You're a thief who sneaks around all day long, and the face of the old yellow family has been disgraced by you."
When the words fell, the weasel was knocked down, and the weasel scolded, "Silly X, you don't know that pornography is now being combated!"
3. The dragonfly made a girlfriend, Cicada. The dragonfly's mom asked: what kind of work is she doing?
Dragonfly: that's a singer!
Dragonfly mom: singer? I'm not sure if you're a singer, but I'm not a singer at all!
4. An ant and a crow in a tree had a fight!
Ant:Come down here if you have the guts!
The crow:Then come up if you have the guts!
Ants:Fine! Wait here, I'll show you!
Crow:What do you want?
Ant:I'm going to call all my brothers to shake you down and kill you!
5, the two shit mantis discuss welfare lottery, a shit mantis: I want to win the jackpot will be a 50-mile radius of the toilet to buy down, every day to eat enough!
B: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot I'll pack a live one and eat it fresh every day!
6, the male butterfly to the female butterfly sang: "You are my lover, like roses like women!" After singing, he flew off to pick roses.
With this came a scream, and the female butterfly sang, "Fly slowly, my dear, and beware of the roses with thorns in front of you!"
7, a pair of ducks to the river to play, see the riverbank cave frog couple hibernating. Male duck: look, how happy. Mother duck on the male duck: do not look, is a big boss, live in the villa, honeymoon, we do not think this life!
8. On the first day, the white rabbit went to the river to fish and caught nothing, and went home.
The second day, the white rabbit went to the river to fish again, or nothing, went home.
On the third day, when the white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and yelled at the white rabbit:
If you ever fucking use a carrot as bait again, I'll squash you!
(a) a village head drunk home wrong into the pigsty, lying next to the sow, said: wife: give me a cup of water, the sow grunted a grunt, the village head said, do not pour it, not pour it, what is the pampering. A hand touch said: buy leather jacket, or double-breasted it.
(2) The old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked: "Do you want to meter the light, backlight, or full light?" The moncler coyly said, "I am indifferent, can you save a pair of pants for your aunt?"
(3) One day, a barber beat up a candy cane seller, to the police station police asked the barber: why did you beat up the candy cane seller? The barber said: ***, I ironed hair in the house, he shouted outside, "hot paste Hello"
(4) a man into the toilet constipation, suddenly saw a man dashed into the moment of rain and wind, "buddy, really envy you ah, so fast." "Envy what ah, have not had time to take off his pants!"
(5) foreigners traveling to Laiwu, met an old lady teasing the cat, went up and asked: what are you doing? The old lady answered: ancient pounding cat ni! The foreigner was shocked, even the old man will be a foreign language! Gift its chocolate, the old lady thought it was dried groundnut, said: I Laiwu have! The foreigner fainted!
(F) butterfly said to the bees: you really stingy, loaded with a stomach of sweet words but a sentence can not give me, the bees said: hum! You're still talking about me, why don't you send me a text message with those two antennas on your head.
(7) {peer}Shitty and mosquitoes in love, shitty: "What is your profession?" Mosquito: "Nurse, injection, you?" Dung beetle laughed: "Fate na, peer, I am Chinese medicine pinch pills."
(8) Husband: what time is it? Wife: ten o'clock, husband: whole? Wife: too early, right, others are not sleeping it! I am asking ten o'clock in the whole? Wife: eleven o'clock in the whole it.
(ix) two fights, a pillow thrown downstairs, a beggar happened to pass by, very happy, and then flew down a bed quilt, beggar ecstasy, wiping tears rushed upstairs shouting: upstairs brother, do good, the woman also threw down it.
(10) wife: night is not want to activities? Husband: old want, wife: that after work is not allowed to say that tired, said the night no spirit, can not be fooled on the finish, husband: must, wife: that night I changed the clothes are washed it.
(xi) a young woman pouring garbage, accidentally slipped in the garbage, was about to climb up, was a rag picker old man in his arms, the old man said with emotion: the city is not living, so good daughter-in-law said don't don't want.
(xii) a big toe suddenly turned blue, the doctor diagnosed as cancer, so excision, a few days, the second toe also turned blue, in the excision, three days later, the palm of the foot all turned blue, only to turn to the big hospitals, and finally the expert diagnosis: socks decoloration.
A farmer drove a donkey into the city, the donkey broke through a red light, a fine of 10 yuan. The farmer drank the donkey: "You think you're a military vehicle! The red light is also dare to break." A few steps later, the donkey knocked over a fruit stand and was fined 200 yuan. The old farmer is even more angry: "You think you're a city manager of industry and commerce, who want to lift the stalls lift the stalls." The old farmer took the donkey home, passing a green meadow, donkey nibble grass, and was fined 30 yuan. The old farmer was furious, scolded: "You think you are the inspection team to the countryside, where to eat where!" The old farmer scolded the donkey to go to the river to drink water, but the donkey but launched a stubborn temper, raised his neck not to drink. The old farmer was on fire: "You think you're a big money ah, no lady accompanied by not drink." The donkey turned around and ran away, the shore of the sun a fishing net, the donkey on the broken, the fisherman claimed 500 yuan. The old farmer in tears said "you think this is China Telecom, Internet to spend so much money." Donkey turned around and kicked the old farmer, the old farmer to endure the pain scolded: "You think you are the group leader it, want to kick who kick who." The donkey was so angry that he stopped paying attention to the old farmer and became silent. The old farmer said: "You think this is in the QQ group ah, you can not talk all day!
2. The boss called the secretary: these days I will accompany you to Beijing to play, you prepare
Secretary called her husband: these days I have to go to Beijing with the boss to have a meeting
Husband called his lover: these days my wife is not at home with me
Lover called the tutor students: these days the teacher has something to do, stop class
Student Called the grandfather: these days do not go to class, grandpa you play with me
Grandfather called the secretary: Beijing can not go, the grandson wants me to accompany
Secretary to the husband to call: the boss suddenly have something to do not go to Beijing for a meeting
Husband called his lover: the wife does not go, next time to talk about it
Lover to the tutoring students to call: these days the class as usual!!!! !
Student to Grandpa: 555 teacher said these days as usual
Grandpa to the secretary on the phone: better to go to Beijing, you get ready
3. A beggar knocked on the car window and said: Give me some money.
The gentleman looked down and said: Give you a cigarette.
The beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money．
The gentleman said: I have beer in the car, give you a bottle of wine.
The beggar said: I do not drink, give me some money．
The gentleman said: I'll take you to a mahjong parlor, I'll pay for it, you can bet on it, and if you win it's yours.
The beggar said: I do not gamble, give me some money.
Mr. said: I will take you to the sauna to enjoy the "one-stop service", the cost of my full package.
The beggar said: I do not prostitute, give me some money.
Mr. said: then you get on the car, I take you back, let my wife see: a good man who does not smoke, do not drink, do not gamble, do not whore what kind of mix!
4. Mr. Zhang, who graduated from the police academy, has been married for two years, and always felt that his wife was a little different, suspecting that she was having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang always found his wife's cell phone with a stranger's text message, and each time the content of the text message is the same: "Brother Zhao asked you to help me do something." !
At 11:00 p.m., Mr. Zhang tackled his cheating wife and the man who was metching in one fell swoop.
Mr. Zhang cursed, "You think I don't understand that text message? Inverted read is "10:30 I help you take off the bra
5. Dragon Boat Festival tortoise want to eat rice dumplings, let the snail to buy rice dumplings. After 2 hours, the snail is not back, the tortoise anxious scolded: fuck and then not come back to the old man will starve to death! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking say I do not go!
One day, the cow gave the donkey a problem, asked the word "stupid" under the two worms which is the male, which is the female. The donkey racked his brains and still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: really a stupid donkey, male left female right!
2. Seven years after graduation, finally took a big project to build a thirty-meter chimney, two months, the cost of three hundred thousand, but to advance funds. Finally, at the end of last year, finished. Today, people to acceptance, was scolded to death, there is no money to get. Shit! The drawings looked at the opposite, people are to dig a well!
3. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, a police officer came: what happened? Drunkard: I'm not sure, I also just arrived.
4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. The patient said, I think there is sand in my shoes, I hold on to the pole to shake shoes. fucking an asshole passed by there, thought I was electrocuted, then copied the stick to give me two sticks!
5. On a certain day, Turtle Dad, Turtle Mom and Turtle Son's family decided to go on an outing. They brought a Shandong big cake and two cans of sea
bottom chicken, and set off to Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard climbing, they finally arrived! They sat down on the ground, unloaded their equipment and prepared
to eat. But they realized they hadn't brought a can opener!
Turtle son: "...... Then I'll go back and get it."
Turtle father: "Good son! Quickly! Mom and Dad are waiting for you to come back to start dinner together, go and come back quickly!"
Turtle son: "Must wait for me to come back! Don't go back on your word!"
So the son of the turtle set off on his way home .........
Time flies like an arrow, and the years go by like a shuttle, and 20 years have passed, but the son of the turtle has not yet appeared.
Turtle mom: "old companion ...... want to start dinner first not? I'm super hungry said ......"
Turtle father: "No way! We promised our son! Well ...... wait for him for another five years, do not come to leave him alone!"
Turning eyes is five years, the turtle son is still not seen. Turtle turtle parents do not care! The two old man decided to start.
Take out the big cake is ready to eat ......
Suddenly, the turtle son from behind the tree poked his head out ......
Turtle son: "Shit! I knew you guys would steal the food! Trick me into going back for the can opener? I've been waiting for twenty-five years, finally
It's time for me to wait, isn't it? I hate it when people lie to me!
6. Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three golds in my name?
Dad: Your life lacks gold, so you are named Xin, just like some people's lives lack of water, so they are named Miao, and some people's lives lack of wood, so they are called Sam.
Small Xin: Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing sister life lack of what?
7. A pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench to talk about love, female suddenly want to fart.
The male said: I learn the Department of Valley bird, you listen to like not like.
The man was really willing to listen.
So the woman let out a loud fart under the cover of the bird's call "Bugu Bugu".
Woman: Does it sound like a cuckoo bird?
Man: The fart was too loud to hear!
8. The turtle was injured. Let the snail go to buy medicine. After 2 hours. The snail is still not back. Turtle anxious scolded: fucking and then do not come back to the old man will die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door:You fucking say I'm not going!
9. A person raised a pig, bored, abandoned, but the pig knows the way back, several abandoned to no avail. One day, the car turned a lot of corners to abandon the pig, late at night to call his family, asked: "Is the pig back?" Answer: "It has returned!" Its roar: "Let it answer the phone, I lost!"
10. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ants nest, the ants out of the nest, have climbed to the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell off. At this time, there is still one in the elephant's neck, fell off the ants loudly called "strangle it".
11. One day in computer class, there is a row of students' computers died. So a student stood up and said: "Teacher, the computer is dead, our row is all dead." At this point, many students said, "We're dead too." At this point the teacher asked, "Who else didn't die?" Only one student stood up, "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher wondered, "The whole class is dead, why aren't you?"
12. A monkey eats peanuts by sticking them up his ass before taking them out. The administrator explained: someone had fed it peaches, the result of the peach kernel can not be pulled out, the monkey was scared, and now must be measured before eating.
13. Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?"
Dad: "Silly child, how can you be a silly child ......"
14. Tell a story: "Once upon a time there was a eunuch... ..........................."
Someone couldn't resist asking, "What's next?"
Continuing the story, "Down there? There is no more ah ......"
15. There is a person who just learned a foreign language, this day in the street walking, accidentally stepped on the feet of a foreigner, the person hurriedly said: "I'm sorry." the foreigner also politely said: "I'm sorry too." The man heard, hastily said: "I'm sorry three." The foreigner heard silly, asked: "What are you sorry for? "The man helplessly said:" I'm sorry five."
16. Tang Monk wrote a letter to the Monkey King
Dear Monkey King:
I wrote this letter very slowly, because I know that you can't read the words fast!
We had 2 rains this week, the first one lasted 4 days the second one lasted 3 days!
How are you doing in Mount Huaguo? I'm having a bad time in Heaven, I can't drop my poop, pee, tears and snot because there's no gravity...bitter, wouldn't you say?
We have very good beef noodles here, some day when you come we will go to the restaurant on West Street to have hot pot together!
Your big sister Guanyin is going to give birth, because I do not know whether to give birth to a boy or a girl, so for the time being, I do not know whether you want to be an uncle or an aunt!
Did you get the clothes I sent you? When I was going to mail it I was afraid of being overweight so I cut off the buttons and put them in the pocket of the dress!
It's late and I'm writing here, come to my place to play when you have time, remember not to drink too much water, or it's hard to pee when you get here!
P. S I was going to send you money, but the envelope is already glued!
17. A dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I've been very abnormal lately, what I eat and what I pull, what I eat cucumber pulls cucumber, what I eat watermelon pulls watermelon, how can I return to normal? The doctor was silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.
18. Someone went to Shanghai on a business trip in the street lost a dollar, the police said: "We will help you find" in January after that person to go again, he lost the money on the street due to road repair were dug up, he could not help but sigh "Shanghai is really"
19. p>19. One day an ant was sunbathing, suddenly saw the elephant walking slowly, busy up and straighten the front legs, next to the rabbit busy asking what are you doing? The ants said: "Hush ~~~~~~~ small voice to see me mix him a foot"
20. earthworm family this day is very boring, small earthworms cut themselves into two sections of badminton to go, earthworms mother think this method is good, cut themselves into four sections to play mahjong to go, earthworms father thought, cut themselves into minced meat. Earthworm mom cried, "Why are you so stupid? You'll die if you cut yourself into pieces like that! "Earthworm father said weakly:" ...... suddenly want to play soccer
21.The tortoise and the hare race ... The hare quickly ran ahead . The tortoise saw a snail crawling very, very slowly . He said to him, "Come on up, I'll carry you on my back. And then .. ..the snail came up. After a while .. . the turtle saw another ant.. He says to him, "You come up, too. So the ant came up. When the ant came up. "and saw the snail above him. He says, "Hello." You know what the snail says? The snail said, "Hold on tight, this turtle is fast.
22. One day, there was a fire in a house, and the mom and dad escaped, leaving only one son still inside. Mom was very nervous outside the house and shouted: "Son a ..... What are you doing ...... What are you doing? ...." The son replied, "I'm putting on my socks .....". Mom said, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire?" After five minutes, her son still hasn't come out. ...... Mom shouted nervously, "Son, what are you doing? Come out quickly, it's a fire, why are you still in there ..... " The son said, "I'm taking off my socks. ........
23. A man to the river fishing first wear a leaf ~ half a day no fish on the hook, he changed a piece of bread ~ the same half a day no fish on the hook ~ no way he had to go to change the worm ~ the same half a day or no fish on the hook ~ ~ he was furious ~ pulled out 100rmb into the water and cursed: "*-# What to eat! What do you want to eat!
24. The desk has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot hard into his nose. Writing on the blackboard > language teacher suddenly turned around and yelled: "Enough! Stop it! You're making a lot of noise!" The class fell silent. The teacher also > said: "Who in the end is stealing noodles in class and so loud?"
25. The patient said to the dentist, "You're so good at making money, you made three dollars in only three seconds."
The doctor replied, "I can pull it in slow motion for you if you want."
26. "Narcissism" is that in my next life I must be reincarnated as a woman, and then marry a man like me; "despair" is the restaurant to eat two dishes, eat the first one: "There is more difficult to eat in the world than this? Eat the second "Shit! There really is!"" Speechless" is the judge asked: why do you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: real money I will not print
27. The weaving woman down to the earth to take a bath to meet the cowherd, interpretation of a shocking world sob God's love story, this incident tells us: bathing at home is no opportunity, so bathing must go outside to wash .....
28. Xiaoming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher: "There are a lot of ants in the toilet" The teacher suddenly thought of the ants of the English ant the word, so the test Xiaoming: "ants how to say?" Xiaoming a blank face ...... said: "ants he ...... did not say anything ......"
29. a man at work is always farting, colleagues could not help but say that he: "can you not make a sound ah? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you're going to be able to do it. Then I saw him sitting there shaking. Colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, he replied: "I don't make a sound, now it has been adjusted to vibrate!!!"
30. mother mosquito: "child, what happened to you?" The little mosquito cried: "Today the little flies they bullied me, said I was bloodthirsty, is a vampire." Mother mosquito: "Do not pay attention to it, their family is not something good, one is to eat shit grown
31. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou ceramic pot, yesterday to & lt; treasure & gt; column identification, the expert said seriously: "This is which is the Western Zhou? This is last week!
32. son: "Mother, today I failed the math test" mother: "Why ah, what questions." Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said 6." Mother: "That's right, and then what?" Son: "Then the teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "It's the same fucking thing!" Son: "That's what I said...
33. A prisoner execution, the bullet is "so and so county" production, the quality is not good, the first shot did not release, and then fired the second shot... The third shot ...... At this point, the prisoner cried out: "You strangle me, too scary!"
34. The father told his son a story: "Uncle called Xiaoyang to cut firewood, did not expect Xiaoyang to uncle's favorite peach tree to cut down, uncle saw very angry but did not scold him, do you know why?" The son replied: "Maybe because Xiaoyang still holding the axe. So don't dare to scold him
35. shitshell and mosquitoes in love for the first time, shitshell: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, injection" Shizurang a pull Mosquito's hand cried: "fate ah, I am also from the medical, Chinese medicine, pinch the pill
36. A man can not always find a girlfriend, no choice but to go to the fortune-telling. Fortune-telling master said: you, the first half of life destined to no women; not The man's eyes lit up: that I should have the second half of life right? Fortune-teller said: hey, to the second half of life you are used to a person's life
37. someone eating, beef ramen noodles can not see a piece of beef, they pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: beef ramen how no beef? The boss said lightly: Don't be too serious, do you expect to eat a wife from the wife cake out of a wife?
38. Three rats were tasting American, Japanese and Chinese wine, drinking American wine rat, walked 3 steps down; drinking Japanese wine rat, walked 2 steps down; drinking Chinese Erguotou rat, holding a cleaver, shouting: "TMD cat?"
39. When eating in a restaurant, a customer who waited for a long time called out to the waiter and asked, "How come the braised fish I ordered isn't ready yet?". Please wait a little longer, sir."" What? Wait a little longer?" The customer got angry and said, "Do you catch the fish now?"
40. Once upon a time there was a man called Shuang.
He died.
On the day of his funeral.
His family cried, '
Shuang a ...... Shuang a.'
Passers-by were puzzled. Asked: 'you cool what a.'
Family members cried out in pain: 'Sharp ...... Sharp!!!!
41. A man to jump off a building, just rushed back to his wife shouted: "Honey don't be impulsive, our road is still long!" The man heard, without hesitation whoosh jumped. Standing next to the negotiator said: "The wife, you really should not threaten him
42. Secretary and section chief **** ride the elevator, the Secretary put a fart after the section chief said: "You farted" said the section chief said: "I did not put it" soon after the section chief was removed from office. The director said at the meeting: "you can't afford the fart, what do you need?"
43. A lazy cat crazy pursuit of a mouse, finally married, after the marriage of the cat on the mouse all kinds of harsh care, the mouse soon became fat, the mouse is very touched: "Why am I so good dear ah!" The cat hehehe laughed: "When you are a little fatter to know
44. Every time I look in the mirror, my mind always talk to myself to encourage themselves: "I am very creative, ugly is not my intention, the heavens do not lose their temper, I will be brave to live, with my endless creativity. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I'm really really creative...
45. Friends to go climbing together, to the top of the mountain, a girl facing the beautiful mountains and rivers shouted: Motherland ah! My mother! A crush on her boys quickly followed shouting: motherland ah! My mother-in-law!
46. In the past, I bought two puppies, called "face" for you, called "ass" for myself! But not two days "face" unfortunately died in a car accident after every time I saw "ass" to think of your "face"! If your "face" is still there, it is now as big as your "ass"!
47. Tang Zeng chased away Wukong and then encountered a demon, he had to recite the tight band incantation to call Wukong back to save his life, and soon there was a voice in the air: "I'm sorry. The user you are calling is not in the service area, please try again later.
48. Mouse to facilitate, see the bear is also in, scared to squeak, the bear looked at the mouse, said: "You do not lose hair?" The mouse shivered a little silent. Bear asked again: "Do not lose hair ah, you?" Mouse trembling said: "not fall ......" Bear a grabbed the mouse wiped his ass away! [The rat as toilet paper...
49. Just chatting with friends, which have talked about you, you know? I argued with them, and almost fight, because some of them say you like a monkey, some say you like a gorilla, it is too much! Didn't see you as a pig at all!
50. Panda's birthday, said to everyone: I made two wishes, one is to be able to cure my dark circles, and the other is that I hope to have a colorful photo
51. Bees wildly chasing butterflies, but the butterfly married a snail. Butterflies are not as good as snails. Butterflies are not as good as snails. Butterflies are not as good as snails. Butterflies are not as good as snails. Butterflies are not as good as snails. Suddenly an ant came up to the elephant and said. You stand up. "I'll stand up if it rings a bell. Ant! You sit down. The elephant was puzzled and asked the ant what he wanted to do. What do you want to do? You will stand up and sit down. The ant replied! I lost my underwear, I'll see if you stole it
53. The production team bought a male donkey, but it died within a few days. The female donkey was in heat. The employees of the production team called the captain of the production team, who was on a business trip abroad. "Captain, the female is in heat, but the male is dead. Should I buy a male donkey first or wait for you to come back?"
54. little shithead: mom, why do we eat shit? Dung beetle mom: this child, how can you say such disgusting things during dinner
55. A shooting star in the night sky, I quickly wished for you to become more beautiful. Who knows just after wishing, the meteor "whoosh" a return, said to me "brother, you want to make things difficult for me is not it?
56. Give me a cafeteria bun as a fulcrum, I can warp the earth! <Understand, this cafeteria bun is too hard... >
57. Seeing "the cafeteria's food can only be taken to feed pigs, but actually give us to eat?" I think of a sentence. A student to go to the cafeteria to play rice, play to the rice asked to play rice master, "Master, how you sand inside the rice ah!!!!"
58. The girl must see the story: the bat in the God that reincarnation. God said he could promise you three conditions, the bat said "I was black in my last life, so in my next life I want a snow-white body, but also have wings, I'm used to sucking blood. I'm used to sucking blood." God says, "Okay, I'll do it. Do you know what he'll be in his next life?" A tampon. I don't know what he's going to be in his next life.
59. The restaurant fly said to the toilet fly: you chase fishy all day long, I eat and drink all day long, come here! Toilet fly: different ways do not seek, eat in the good for what purpose, light ass beauty you have seen a few?
60. In the second year of college, all the girls in the dormitory like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl on the top bunk asked: Where is my Zhou Huajian? The girl on the bottom bunk replied: In my bed! Two seconds of silence, and then all tumbled to the bed.
61. A boy to the same class of a friend of the student nickname, called fat pig, the girl cried to the teacher, the teacher promised to criticize the boy, the next day, the teacher told the class: "a boy is too impolite, randomly give others nicknames, can not be called what others like what right?"