2. Go home to your mother!
Just to the top of the mountain, the wrong way and the right way are only a few steps away.
Being a man with his tail between his legs is called chivalry.
5. Don't steam steamed bread for breath.
6. Laobai: Where's your knife?
Punishment catching head: no knife in hand, but a knife in heart.
Lao Bai: Wrong, the highest state is that there is no knife in the hand and no knife in the heart.
(Then they opened their arms-rock, paper, scissors! )
Punishment at the head, lost. Protest: Didn't you say that you don't have a knife in your hand and a knife in your heart?
Laobai: Yes, I am scissors, not a knife!
7. Beauty is not discounted-my sister is called beauty and my sister is called discount.
8. Ah, my fiery biceps ~ ~!
9. The proprietress is puzzled by Li Dazui's hunger strike. ING: I usually eat when I'm not hungry, but now I'm not hungry if I don't eat for two days?
10. Scholar: Xiao Guo, how have you been recently? Say if you have difficulties, and say if you don't have difficulties ~! ~!
1 1. Guo: I can't sing.
Laobai: Nothing. Brother Cui is not here. You can lip-synch ~ ~ ~
12. Tong Xiangyu: If someone makes you feel grateful, you will be willing to give your life to him. If a person moves you, you will be willing to give it to him.
Give it to him yourself.
13. Widow Zhang decided to invite everyone to her house to eat tofu.
14. You look at the clouds for a while and me for a while. When you look at the clouds, you are far away from them.
You are close to me when you look at me.
15. Tigers don't show off their strength. Do you think I'm HOLLO KITTY?
16. Take good care of my seven uncles.
17. You adults don't remember villains, but the prime minister can punt in his stomach, and the moon sets in first frost, and both husband and wife go home.
18. I have served you, respected you, and worshipped you in my heart.
19. Do you think I love money that much?
You are!
I am ashamed
It's good to know shame.
Shame and joy.
20. Standing in heaven and watching hell, life is like a sitcom. Standing in hell and looking at heaven, who are you busy for and who are you working for?
2 1. catching a thief is sometimes as simple as that.
22. I like you ~
23. Superstition means being fascinated before believing, confusing you and making you believe.
Listen, people inside, hand over stinky tofu eggs and release the hostages.
25. Have you ever been to World Spring? I've heard people say time. Have a clear view in the first one. In that Taoist temple, there is a Taoist priest. They like hula in the first spring, and the tune is called Quan.
I eat more salt than you do.
That's your mouth.
I have crossed more bridges than you have.
This is what I don't want to move.
27. Beckham: I am the head of the team!
Shopkeeper: It's not good to palm the window!
Beckham: Yes. . . You're the one with the sore.
28. If life is just an accidental encounter, then death is the inevitable killer.
29. What is the fragrance of flowers? Because of me. Why is the grass green, and it's because of me? Why does fart stink? It's because of white ~ ~ ~
30. Part I: Combating domestic violence
Part II: Calling for social love.
Horizontal criticism: Don't talk to strangers.
3 1. Go your own way and let them take a taxi. . .
What a scholar! Well, that smart, capable and cheap scholar ~ ~!
Hunger is wrong. Hunger is wrong from the beginning ~ you shouldn't get married if you are hungry. You can't die if you don't marry a hungry husband. If you were hungry, you wouldn't fall into this sad place. ..............
34. After the Year of the Monkey, it will be the Year of the Rooster. Bottom line: After the Year of the Rooster, it is the Year of the Dog. Cross: A year is a year.
35. unparalleled: generally speaking, hong kong sister is the third ~ you really like your dress.
Furong: It's ugly. It's ugly. Sister Ya's ninth place depends on a dexterous hand.
Furong: Your beauty from the inside out promotes blood circulation, nourishes beauty and makes people feel pity.
Unparalleled: Your beauty is transferred from your bones to your skin, and this moment should last forever.
Furong: Give you back your beauty.
Wu Shuang: I will give you back your beauty. Your whole family is beautiful.
Furong: You have a good temperament.
Wu Shuang: You have a good figure.
Furong: You have good skin.
Wu Shuang: Your hair is fine.
Furong: You are all right. The only drawback is that you are too conspicuous and easy to cause traffic accidents.
Wu Shuang: Your shortcoming is that you are too perfect to regret.
Furong: Regret or something.
Wu Shuang: I was born wrong. I don't covet such good DNA.
36. The shopkeeper stole Beckham's letter and Guo saw it.
Guo: What if it's an urgent letter?
Shopkeeper: Can you insert a chicken feather in the letter in an emergency? This is obviously a trivial matter.
37. Shopkeeper: What is your goal?
Guo: Be a generation of Woman!
Shopkeeper: This goal is too far away. Tell me something closer.
Guo: Pay rise!
Shopkeeper: This one is farther than that one just now ~
Thief: Are you such a thief? Stealing and cleaning other people's houses
Stealing Saint (White): Can it be done without cleaning? I have to follow the footprints.
Thief: I got it. You'll give it back to someone in a few days.
Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!
39. Lv Xiucai: Who has the highest flying skills throughout the ages? -Ji Wubing: Cao Cao (speaking of the devil)
Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest position? -Ji: Liu Bei's son (if he can't afford it, he is called a thousand pounds)
Lv Xiucai: Whose hidden weapons is the best? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang tears Ma Su, others pick Ye Fei flowers, he flies with tears)
Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest internal skills? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Kong Ming plays the piano and retreats, invincible ultrasound)
Lv Xiucai: Who is so boring? -Ji is not sick: Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei eats scales and is determined to win. Normal people who eat that? )
40. Don't treat people as improper cadres.
4 1. Ask whether this mountain is the highest in the world. A loving baby is like a treasure. If the sky is affectionate, it will grow old. I love you so much that I can't forget it. I can't forget your tears, your goodness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco between my fingers.
42. Stealing a clock in Lightning Speed is like breaking bamboo ~ ~
43. advertising:
Mouth: Hey, I burnt the pot again. How can I do this job?
Shopkeeper: Are you still cooking in an iron pan? It's high time to change the hall door without sticking to the pot. The latest copper technology in Sichuan has the advantages of large heating area, uniform heat transfer and rapid temperature rise. You can make delicious dishes with a little oil, which is convenient for cleaning and not easy to stick to the pot. Now you can buy it for the hall door. A set of exclusive secret hidden weapons, first come, first served. All major inns and weapons stores have sales welcome.
Mouth: Cook in a non-stick pan. Hello, me too.
44. quarrel with your daughter-in-law, but don't start work easily; Even if you want to start work, don't fight to the death; If killed, don't delay treatment; If you are executed alive, don't forget to inform us to attend the funeral.
Yu Xiang: Let's get out of here first. We can't go back to Shaanxi anyway. We can go to South go to dali. ...
Xiao Guo: Alas, Dali is so good and the scenery is super ~ ~ ~ beautiful!
Yu Xiang: Take a breath in Dali, and then we will go to Myanmar. ...
Mouth: Myanmar is good, bananas are delicious!
Yu Xiang: If there are still suitors in Myanmar, let's go to Thailand again. ...
Guo: Alas ~ ~ The temples in Thailand are amazing ~ ~! Hmm. How interesting
Yu Xiang: If Thailand still can't stay, let's go to Japan by boat. ...
Everyone (resolutely, turning around, disgusted): No! !
Yu Xiang: What about Koryo? ...
Everyone (turning around and agreeing): All right.
Yu Xiang: journey to the south to Siberia, change to sleigh, go straight to the Arctic Circle, then go all the way south from Alaska, cross the equator, travel long distances, go straight to the frozen soil of the Antarctic circle, and then ...
Everyone: Still going? !
Yu Xiang: The last step, after reaching the Antarctic Circle, take enough dry food and water, take a rocket, fly into space, land on the surface of Mars and start a new life!
Everyone was intoxicated. . .
Scholar: What if there are trackers on Mars?
One leng, everyone began to beat up the scholar.
46. Zi said: Knowledge is power.
Which child?
Bacon!
47. What's your last name? Call it? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in the family? How many acres of land per capita? How many cows are there in the field? Tell me about it. . .
48. Tong Xiangyu's mantra: Oh, my God!
The catch phrase of criminals: dear mother!
Guo Furong's mantra: Avalanches.
My pet phrase: Zi once said.
Bai Zhantang's pet phrase: sunflower acupuncturist
Zhu's mantra: Let me do it!
Mo Xiaobei's pet phrase: Sister-in-law ~ ~ ~ ~ (very sour kind)
Yan Xiaoliu's mantra: help me take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece!
49. Eat other people's food and let yourself speak.
50. Why are you holding chamber pot?
Can't I take a shower?
5 1. I wish you a long life, childless.
52. The shopkeeper pushed the responsibility of protecting Laobai to the scholar, followed by Ji Wuming. . .
Scholar: Wait a minute, Confucius. Force can't solve any problems.
Everyone; What son?
Scholar: Lu Zi.
Ji: I'll die as you want me to. Next time, you don't have to shout first. Take your life-
Scholar: Wait-you can kill me, but you have to explain first, whose hand did I die?
Ji: nonsense, I.
Scholar: Who am I ...? ..
Ji: How do I know who you are?
The scholar said with a smile, here comes the problem. ...
Ji was at a loss: What do you mean? ....
Scholar: This must start with the relationship between man and the universe. You've always had problems. . .
Ji: What do you mean?
Scholars; Me, who is it?
Ji: Well, I already know.
Scholar: No, you didn't. Do you know who you are? Ji wuming? No, it's just a name, a code name. You can call Wu Jiming, and I can call Ji Wuming, either of them can. Who are you after you take off your code name?
Ji: I don't know and I don't need to know.
Scholar: OK, OK, then answer me another question-who am I?
Ji: This question has already been asked.
Scholar: No, I just asked for the ID, and now I'm asking myself.
Ji: What's the difference?
Scholar: For example, I have a conversation with my code name, and your code name is also me. What does this mean? Does this mean that you are me and I am you? ....
Ji: Is this question meaningless?
Scholar: Then ask some meaningful questions. Where did I come from and where did I die? Why should I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to the world? Did the world choose me or did I choose the world?
Ji; adequately ....
Scholar: Do I have a necessary connection with the universe? Does the universe have an end? Is there a time limit? Where does the past time disappear and where does the future time stop? Is the question I'm asking now still the question you just mentioned?
Ji: I killed you-
The scholar shouted, Who killed me? Who did I kill?
Ji: Did I kill me?
Scholar: Correct answer! Do it!
..... In this way, Ji Wuming, a great master, passed away. ...