This statement has caused many people to discuss and ponder.
Usually, in people's minds, people think that husband and wife should be relatives, and more and more couples are playing such an old-fashioned model with each other.
But in fact, those couples who regard their loved ones as relatives are far from being as happy as they expected.
I met a couple the other day. They are going to divorce, but they are a little unwilling psychologically. The wife and husband are very calm and talking about their daily lives there.
My wife cooks after work every day and does the housework well. When everything is busy, she falls asleep. The husband has to socialize every day, and it is very late to go home. He has eaten the midnight snack prepared by his wife, and he will fall asleep after watching his mobile phone.
Repeating this daily routine every day, the thing that two people communicate most is quarreling. As long as they encounter a little disappointment in life, they will all throw their bad temper at each other.
Gradually, they have become accustomed to this way. At first, my wife thought that all marriages were like this, and they needed to get used to it slowly, until later she met another person.
She really understood that love can be like this. The gap between the two people is getting deeper and deeper, and the husband has discovered the fact that he likes someone else.
We often say that it is not too optimistic for couples to really get along as relatives.
Husband and wife should never treat each other as relatives. In marriage, these three hidden rules should be kept in mind.
First, keep a proper sense of distance
The psychological research of interpersonal communication found that a moderate spatial distance can make people have a strong psychological attraction effect, while too close and too far spatial distance can make people repel or even alienate.
How to pull the distance too close between husband and wife will inadvertently invade each other's privacy space, which will cause? Hedgehog effect Two hedgehogs snuggle up to each other. The closer they get, the more painful the thorn on their own body will be.
Therefore, the reason for the deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife lies in the fact that this kind of family-like mode of getting along with each other infringes on the privacy of the other party, which leads to psychological exclusion.
Second, always maintain a cooperative relationship.
Once the relationship between husband and wife changes to kinship, it is easy to cause psychological problems? Companionship effect? On the negative side. ? Companionship effect? In essence, we can understand that one monk carries water to eat and two monks carry water to eat.
In marriage life, it means that if two people actively cooperate, it will help to increase the efficiency of activities and maintain a happy marriage more effectively.
On the contrary, if the two sides form such a dependent relationship, it will greatly reduce the efficiency of cooperation between the two in marriage. The direct result of this is a quarrel between two people on trivial matters.
Third, keep secrets and increase freshness.
The more intimate the relationship, the easier it is to produce projection effect, which is a very normal psychological phenomenon. Because individuals have certain characteristics, they infer that others also have this social psychological phenomenon with the same characteristics as themselves.
For example, some people think that this matter is wrong, so they will explain other people's ideas with this wrong concept.
Husband and wife should keep their privacy, instead of telling everything like relatives.
Some couples always like to sit together in Kan Kan and talk about the good and the bad, which leads to unnecessary misunderstandings. This is all due to inappropriate remarks between the two.
Husband and wife, never treat each other as relatives, and always keep in mind these three hidden rules in marriage. Marriage is a science, and it is far more complicated to run than we thought.