I'm sure everyone hears a few jokes, or something humorous, either intentionally or unintentionally every day. Jokes actually exist in abundance in folklore, and is there any piece of writing that doesn't have a laugh-inducing plot in it? Can you imagine what the world would be like if the original element of laughter was missing in the real world. I am afraid to think about it, hahaha.

Today, I'd like to take some time to compile some higher quality jokes for you, and optimize them appropriately, the following is the general statistics table.

The following is the breakdown: Love (10)

1. Honesty

Before you go on a blind date, you must say that you are ugly, and if you are a pretty girl and handsome guy, everyone will feel that you are very modest. If you are really ugly, at least you can find another advantage, that is, honesty.

2. There is Jen

Mr. Grapes fell in love with the walnut girl and confessed his love to her, but he was rejected.

Mr. Grape asked sadly: Why? We have been together for so long!

Walnut girl said shyly: Because, I already have Jen in my heart.

3. Love you

There was a couple snuggled by the lake.

The girlfriend says, "Do you love me?"

Boyfriend, "Of course, I love you more than my own life."

Girlfriend points to the lake and says, "I'll take your word for it if you dare to jump from here."

The boyfriend immediately turned and ran away, and after a while he came back panting.

Girlfriend: "What did you do?"

Boyfriend: "Honey, I went to buy a life preserver!

4, set

One day, a girl was thinking in her mind that she would confess to her favorite boy.

Thinking about it, the boy came to her and said to her I like you, be my girlfriend.

The girl agreed, and then the boy slowly fell in love with the girl, and one day in a joke said, that day I confessed to you is I lost a bet with my friends.

The girl smiled and said: I know, I let them do it.

5. Saving money

The boy said to the girl: Why did you take all my money?

The girl said: I'm afraid to spend you poor, can't afford to marry me later.

The boy said: If we are not together in the future, then I am not a big loss?

The girl said: that's even more can't spend, in case other girls big money, you can't afford to marry, I have to save for you, can't let you play the bachelor.

The boy.

6, reverse

These two days and girlfriend quarrel, cold war.

Asked a colleague if there is any way to let my girlfriend理我，他说："You go home and turn off the tap water main gate, drink all the water in the water dispenser, loosen the light bulb in the toilet, and put a few viruses in her computer. She'll naturally open up and talk to you."

So I went home and immediately did as I was told.

Girlfriend came home and found that the home with what is bad, smacked me too poor, and now have to break up with me.

7, in the

Love marriage this thing than who is shameless. When there is true love but do not dare to confess, destroyed a number of; together with the opposition because of the other side of the family, and difficult to go a number of; get along with the time because of quarrel embarrassed with each other from the apology and good, and forced to go a number of; survive to the end to tie the knot, are those who have a big heart and fine thick-skinned heroes of the ultimate.

8, do not cry

A girl and girlfriends chat: "My boyfriend is a sissy, I broke up with him, he was particularly sad, but just do not shed tears."

Best friend thumbs up: "This is not manhood?"

The girl was furious: "What manhood, he said he couldn't cry because his mascara wasn't waterproof."

9, think of you

One time I was bored and my girlfriend sent a message.

Female: "Kiss, what are you doing? I'm thinking about you." ?

Me: "Such a coincidence, I'm thinking about myself just like you."

As a result, she ignored me for a week.

Where did I go wrong?

10, bitter ah

A buddy, usually the family is her wife to manage money, married men know.

Once, his wife went on a business trip, and as a result, he didn't even have the money for dinner, and came to my house to rub it in.

"You don't even have money for dinner. Why don't you ask your sister-in-law for it?"

"I asked for it. She put it on her card. I didn't pick it up."

"Why not?"

"She said. The code is the date of the day we saw our first movie. I ....."

"Stop it. I understand! Come. Eat your vegetables ......"

Couples (10)

1, shopping

and his wife never bought flowers for many years of acquaintance, that day in the name of leaving work early, about her to come out to shop.

Deliberately late, from the back of the shortcut to think very handsome flowers to her hands

Originally thought of a lot of bridges, such as moved to tears ah, ecstatic and so on.

What I didn't expect was that the guy froze for a while, and then made a shy face:

"It's all in the hands of the big brother so much expense, I'm really sorry ......."

2, self-confidence

Wife: Husband, I'm so stupid, in the end you see me which point?

Husband: I have a billion dollars, exist in Swiss banks, you believe?

Wife: I believe.

Husband: I see you on this point

3, washing dishes

After dinner, my wife and I are too lazy to wash the dishes.

I suggested: "Why don't we guess? The loser washes!"

She shook her head and said shyly: "Do not want it, people are ladies to come, guessing so rude!"

I thought about it and suggested, "Let's guess the coin!" Said, I took out a coin from my pocket.

Suddenly my wife said angrily, "How dare you hide your private money!!!! Punish you to wash dishes for three days."

4, title

Upstairs, a young couple, recently gave birth to a child, both are only child, both want to let the child with their own surname.

Now for this is a daily fight, and finally the community to mediate, please come to both parents, to bid on the way to decide the child with whom the last name.

In the end, the woman was so rich that she spent more than 400,000 yuan to get the right to the title.

The young couple spent the night in bed figuring out whether to buy a BMW or a Land Rover.

5, cold war

Recently in the cold war with his wife we sleep in separate rooms, no matter how I apologize she refused to pay attention to me.

No way, I sent a horrible little video to her, and then locked the door.

Now, no matter how loud the door knocks, I'm still bedridden!

Small like, yesterday you ignore me, today I let you can't sleep at night ......

6, so cold

Night the husband hugged his wife, and was about to go to sleep, the husband whispered in his ear:" This life is really short."

The

The wife was shocked, no, this, this...?

Wife was still thinking about how he suddenly said this, wife was still thinking about how to comfort him, and then the husband said, "That foot can not cover, so cold!" ?

7, complain

Husband silent, I chatter, said half a day he only responded to a sentence or two.

So I often complained about him: you do not love me, marry me just to pass . I'm not going to be able to do that!

Yesterday, I complained again, and just said half a sentence: You don't love me at all.

The only thing I heard from my husband was that he was only marrying me for the sake of the family.

These are the only things I've ever heard of.

What is it? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to!

I .

8, food

With the husband argued, know that the loss, so off to buy his favorite brined pig's feet back to coax him.

Which thought that the husband face proudly said no, I also fire, do not pull down! In a fit of pique, I threw the pig's feet into the trash, and then ran to my room to sleep.

After a while, worried that he would be hungry, quietly pushed open the door to the room, and found that he was squatting in front of the garbage cans and ate with gusto!

9, slippers

Yesterday my wife came home and handed me a pair of new slippers, I tried, the texture is very good, very light.

I asked her why she didn't buy a pair for herself. She said her old ones were still wearable.

I was so touched that I rushed down to the kitchen to cook, and after eating, I washed the dishes, mopped the floor, and did the laundry.......

Today, I saw the slippers in a women's clothing store, and they are a non-sale item, and you have to spend over five thousand to get them.

10, clothes

and husband shopping, looking at a dress, more than 10,000 yuan, I tried and tried, calmly asked the attendant: "This style has no lemon yellow color ..."

The attendant shook his head... I asked again, "Is there a black and purple color..."

The waitress shook again... I took off my clothes and left silently...

Husband asked suspiciously, "Honey, when did you start liking these two colors... This style can't be had at first glance..."

I shouted angrily, "Did you ask me to say I can't afford it?"

School (10)

1, afraid of what

When I used to go to school in the Northeast, the winter physical education class only skating a project, the classroom location in the back of the school lake, every time I went on to the ice I was worried that the ice will crack, shivering on the top. Once I really can not help it, I asked the physical education teacher, in case of falling into the lake how to do? The teacher gave me a look and said:Not a local, right? A meter deep water frozen one meter two deep, tanks can pass, you are afraid of what!

2, enrollment

School, looking around the girlfriends of friends have talked about the object, the whole day in pairs, very envious! So one day in class idle boredom in the book wrote: God give me a boyfriend it! I hope that if you are sincere, you will be able to do it. Classes out when the book on the table forgot to put up, back to the classroom, on the podium suddenly found my book, which is filled with two-thirds of the class signed the name of the boys! Male one XXX enrollment, male two XX enrollment, male three XXX enrollment ......

3, prize

Primary school sports games run first, stood on the podium to receive a box of stationery, I found that there is a lipstick, so I twisted to use to wipe their mouths. The first thing I did was to get the chance to see the newest version of the same thing. The first thing I did was to get the money to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car, and then I had to pay for a new car. The awards teacher came quietly, students ah, this is a solid gel ah ...... I was shocked, standing on the podium to try to struggle to open his mouth, but issued a BO crunch!

4, umbrellas

Late for class was penalized for running laps in the playground, unexpectedly the rain, the girls had to run in the rain.

A boy with an umbrella came to her side to run together, and moved the umbrella to the top of the girl's head.

The girl recognized that the boy had been watching her for a long time, and instantly blushed and whispered in embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend ......"

The boy bowed his head in contemplation for a moment, and said to the girl fondly: "Want it? This umbrella ten ......

5, cafeteria

University that will be once my father came to school to see me, to the midday to go to the cafeteria to eat.

After ordering the food a brush card my father anxious "I ordered two vegetarian how so expensive?"

The cafeteria mom said "you want this minced pork and bean curd is a meat dish", my father looked at the plate of a handful of minced pork and said "according to your meaning of shrimp skin fried leeks or seafood?"

Cafeteria mom ......

6, exam

Our school had an exam, a boy sitting in the last row, received a classmate handed the answer, excited to the extreme immediately unfold.

Just want to copy the big copy, a look up to see the invigilator teacher smiling to him, obviously have seen.

This man's behavior became a classic throughout the year: he very frankly straightened up and looked straight at the teacher, then put the answer sheet on his nose and blew it out, then threw it in a parabola - into the garbage basket behind the door.

The teacher glared at him a number of times, and also finally didn't have the courage to pick up the incriminating evidence.

7, English

Junior high school a classmate English huge bad, the state of good times, 26 English words will also count 28 to.

I don't get it, so I asked why, and he said he was counting on his fingers.

When he memorized W, his fingers followed the sound of "Da, Bu, Slippery".

The result ended up being 28!

8, out of the house

me: today I use WeChat to female classmates confession, she replied is ellipsis, in the end what does it mean?

Roommate: These six points are implicitly telling you, do not confess, go home to be a monk!

9, no money

This morning's test geometry, I was next to the students forgot to bring a ruler on the meal card instead of the invigilator to see the teacher said: "You are not money? Ah? You don't have any money?"

When the invigilator came back from the circle, he realized that he had replaced his meal card with a bank card.

10. Graduation

When I graduated from college, I went to the train station to see my roommate off.

Me: I am not going to buy you an orange.

Roommate: or you are good, they all went to buy me oranges, all want to take advantage of me.

Me: I don't need to prove anything by buying me an orange because I'm supposed to be your dad.

Children (10)

1. Hate

Mom asked her little five year old child, "What's the number you hate the most?"

The child replied, "Three."

Mom: "Why?"

Child: "Because my mom always tells me 'When I count to 3, you're dead.'"

2. There's salt

There's no salt in the house, so you give your son five dollars and say: go downstairs to the new little store and see if there's any salt.

Then he happily took the money to go, after a while back, holding a few packets of spicy noodles, eating while saying: Mom, the store has salt.

3. Thank you

Yesterday, I bought a few sets of math tutorials online for my nephew, who has just entered middle school.

Just now I got a call from my nephew saying, "I've received the tutorials, thank you uncle, I wish you will always be single and can't find a girlfriend."

4, plagiarism

Son on the first year of junior high school, the teacher called to say that his son's composition is suspected of plagiarism.

After school, I specifically took out my son's composition book to look through, only to see a composition, my son's first sentence wrote: remember when I was in my third year.

5, home visits

Son came home from school and asked his mom with a serious face, "Mom, the homeroom teacher will come to the home visit in the next few days, how are you going to evaluate me?"

Mom asked, "What do you want me to say?"

Son said with a joyful smile, "You'll say that I complete my homework consciously and voluntarily, compete for chores, respect the old and love the young, and help others."

Mom couldn't help but laugh, "There has to be some drawbacks, right?"

Son nodded and said, "You can criticize me for studying while eating, and for not changing my bad habits; you can also criticize me for giving my parents a back rub with a rough technique, sometimes light, sometimes heavy."

6. Check

My kindergarten daughter asked me to check her homework after she finished it, and I found that one of her calculations was wrong.

I then reminded her that 6+7 can't be 8, so she had to recalculate.

A little while later, my daughter took the workbook to show me, the question has been changed to 6 + 2 = 8.

7, hard

Morning niece said that hard to not want to go to kindergarten, mom asked where she was hard to, my niece breathless said: headache all over the body.

The reason for this directly to my laughter sprayed: you a few head?

The niece pouted and stretched out her fingers: headache, forehead pain, nose pain, tongue pain, finger pain, and toe pain.

I go!

8, stingy

Today with my nephew to the supermarket ran into a beautiful woman, he went over to ask: sister, you look so beautiful oh! I'm not sure if I've ever had a boyfriend before, but I'm sure I've never had one.

The beauty smiled and said: not yet! I'm not sure why you're so cute, but I'm not sure why you're so cute," he said.

Nephew pointed at me, I thought to myself, this child is quite considerate of me.

I didn't expect the bear child to say: my uncle also doesn't have a girlfriend. But you don't want to find one like him, too stingy! I don't even buy me ice cream!

It's a good thing that I'm not a fan of this.

9, praise me

Sending my daughter to school in the morning, I teased her, let her praise me the most handsome.

Daughter blanked me, do not speak, I threatened her: "You do not praise me handsome noon I do not allow you to go home for dinner!"

Noon after school, my daughter called her daughter-in-law: "Mom, I do not go home to eat! My dad let a beautiful woman praise her handsome this morning, I gave him a blank look, he got angry and forbade me to go home for dinner!"

10, delicious

Night personally cook fried ground beef

I asked my wife is delicious? The wife said it was delicious!

I also flattered back to the sentence, you fried also delicious.

Son in a side straight hit "tsk": the good point is called sympathy, the bad point this is called each other pat on the back.

My wife and I looked at each other and put down our chopsticks in unison.

Animal (10)

1, parrot

Li Da Niang sent mom a parrot, this day dad at home to turn mom's pockets want to find a little pocket money, I saw my mom to buy food back to the dad shouted: my mom is back! I saw my mom coming back from the grocery store and yelled to him, "My mom is back! From then on, every time my dad went through my mom's pockets, the parrot shouted, "My mom's home! Until one day, my dad no longer cared about the parrot, still rummaging through the pockets, mom really came back!

2, small strong

Kitchen occasional small strong infestation, before I saw the shoot dead finished. Recently, my mom said that the cockroaches will shoot the eggs out and hatch into small cockroaches. So there is an order to catch the live ones in the future and put them in a plastic bag to make them dead. This requirement is a little difficult, I and my father to implement a very difficult, every time either shoot dead or shoot disabled escape, was mom reprimanded a few times, and now my father saw the little strong are this tone: you go! I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be able to do this.

3, monkey

Yesterday evening and friends after dinner home, the road met a monkey. Just as we were teasing the monkey, my friend took out a piece of garlic from his pocket and gave it to the monkey...The monkey took the garlic from his hand and put it in his mouth, spicy and scratching his cheeks...Just as we were laughing, the monkey jumped up and gave my friend a slap on the face...a slap on the face...I clearly remember that the onlookers were all laughing their asses off! Don't move me, let me laugh some more ！！！！

4, hamster

To the flower and bird market to buy hamsters. I wanted to try the rat vendor's character, so I pretended not to understand and asked, "Can I raise two hamsters in one cage?"

The vendor said sincerely, "No, two hamsters in a cage will fight."

I was thinking that I had met someone with a conscience! The vendor added, "Why don't you buy three of them, so that when they fight, there will be someone to talk them out of it."

5, looking for trust

Once upon a time, there was a crow holding a piece of delicious meat, was passing by the fox saw, then said to it, beautiful crow, your song must be very good, I can listen to it? The crow listened to the open mouth proudly sang, the fox immediately stooped to pick up, this time in the grass out of a tiger, said: small kind, do not find a drag, but also can not straighten you!

6, take the wrong

There are two flies playing badminton, is playing a fly suddenly fell to the ground, the other fly went up and asked: "What's wrong, buddy?"

The fly replied, "I took the wrong racket, I took an electric fly swatter."

7. Western food

Mosquito A complained, "The food is the same every day, no appetite!"

Mosquito B replied, "Let's change our tastes tonight, I've got my eye on a foreigner, let's eat western food tonight!"

8. Teeth

The tiger was unhygienic and didn't brush his teeth after eating, resulting in abalone teeth.

The leopard laughed when he saw it.

The tiger touched the abalone teeth in his mouth and said, "Damn leopard, don't laugh, you will grow abalone teeth even if you don't brush your teeth!"

The leopard said, "I'm a leopard, I'm not afraid of growing abalone teeth, I'm only afraid of growing tiger teeth."

9. Transformation

A rabbit came to a café and asked for a sweet bread and a cup of coffee. It put the bread and coffee on the table and went to wash its hands. When it came back, the coffee was gone.

"Who drank my coffee?" The rabbit asked.

No one answered. So the rabbit raised his voice and asked again, anger in his tone, "Who drank my coffee?"

Suddenly, a black bear stood up and said with a straight face, "It was me!"

"Why don't you even eat the bread?" The rabbit said with a big smile on his face.

10. Go for it

The mother snail was crawling along the road with a little snail on her back, and finally arrived at her destination, while the car that had started at the same time as them was late.

The little snail thought it was strange and asked, "Mommy, why isn't the car going as fast as we are?"

The snail's mother replied, "Son, we don't have to wait in line for gas."

1, out of the circle

Chickens are used to do the eggs, cows are working when there is a job to be done, cats are mixed up with each other from house to house, goats are to be kebabs in the future, dogs are to be spoiled by letting people come to you, and you are to wait for the circle to be out of the circle.

2, weekend

Weekend, I solemnly convey to you: sleepy to sleep, tired to the sofa, happy to smile, worry to forget, depression to find me enlightenment, think of me, please I eat sweet cake, if you don't return to the text message, out of the ants tripped!

3, the saying

The saying goes: more lice do not feel itchy. According to this reasoning, more flies you will not feel messy, more frogs you will not feel yelling, high temperature you will not feel hot, more mosquitoes you will not feel itchy, more sweat you will not feel dirty, more cicadas you will not feel loud. See, summer is such an inspiring season! Pro, more exercise, air conditioning do not open, mosquito nets do not hang yo!

4, mosquitoes

Summer has arrived to remind you: mosquito bites are a happy thing, at least prove: send red envelopes did not forget you; can sleep zero distance close to natural creatures; kiss (mosquito) at any time; inherit your blood and flesh and blood; enjoy the romance of the intimacy of the whispering; you can repair the body! "Itchy" sex. General fellowship, I really do not tell him!

5, the invention

The invention of the car is so that I can quickly catch up with you, the invention of the clock is so that I have you in the minute clock, the invention of the cell phone is so that I can tell you at any time and any place: I want you.

6, vacation

No matter how high the sky, how deep the sea, how hard the steel, how big the wind, how long the feet, how wide the river, how strong the wine, how cold the ice, how hot the fire ...... I just want to tell you, all these are in fact none of your business, as long as you are happy with your vacation on it!

7, have a destiny

I like to smoke, you like to smoke; I like to spend money, you like to make money; I like to see jokes, you like to make jokes; do not care about the relationship between the two of us, the text message sent to have a destiny.

8, change the number

Today, this meeting is mainly to announce: in the future, we have to focus on practical matters, do not engage in the people's project, do not boast, to be based on the community, to serve the people! Well, the last announcement of a major event: I changed my cell phone number, this is it, please remember to contact me in the future! The meeting was adjourned!

9, the message

An inhumane message, an exterminating message, a desperate message, a heartbreaking message, a broken hearted message, a sad message, a sad message, a crying message, a pounding message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message, a sobbing message. sobbing message, a downcast message, a life-is-better-than-death message, a heartbreaking message: it's Monday.

10, Lucky

Send you 70 happy, 80 happy, 100 complete, add up these numbers, is your lucky number!

Workplace (10)

1. Nice

Our company is a good company! We are late from work, but we go to work early! Although we have less rest, but we are on duty more ah! Although we are cold in winter, we are hot in summer! Although we are on vacation late, but we start work early ah! Though our wages are small, we have a lot of work! If you're looking for a job, you should look for one like this! Take the least amount of money, work more shifts, and take fewer vacations!

2, bold

Previously in a small company, only 15 people. But the atmosphere is very cordial, the boss and employees are like friends, often K song dinner or something. One day, because of the company's cash flow, the boss said sadly to everyone to break up. As a result, the front desk MM is not happy, said this is the most happy place to stay. Then she made a phone call to her dad and bought the company ......

3. Absent

Wang worked in the personnel department on the 10th floor, and was transferred to work in the administrative department on the 9th floor a month ago.

One day, Xiao Wang's classmates called the 10th floor personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang in?" , the colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in personnel."

Small Wang students: "ah ~ ah! When did this happen? How come I don't know ah? Haven't had time to send him off yet. Hey!"

"It's okay, you can go down there and find him!"

4, weird

A company often work overtime, and then there is a sudden death, and then came a girl, sitting in that seat, everyone did not tell her sudden death.

One night when I was working overtime, the girl had a piece of code that I couldn't write, so I let my boyfriend help me write it remotely, and then I went to dinner.

Then, when the product manager passed by her seat, he glanced at her computer and realized that it was writing code line by line automatically.

The next day, the product manager resigned ......

5, accident

Today, the boss told me to go into the office to report on the work and praised me for my recent work, but also ready to give me a raise, the results of my excitement, out the door! I was so excited that when I went out, I hit the door directly! Tears fell from my nose...

Then I went back to my seat and wiped my tears, which drew a crowd of coworkers who asked me what happened. What did the boss do to you?

I kept saying nothing, nothing... Then later, the boss came out of the office and announced my salary increase...

6, meeting

Yesterday, the company opened a full general meeting, the chairman of the board of directors speech, said that this month's performance is obviously down. Then the more said the more fire! Finally drank a mouthful of water while resting, let our manager to speak!

Everyone bowed their heads, afraid of being caught by the manager of the typical!

Atmosphere heavy, who knows the manager coughed lightly and said: Today is the summer, everyone after work to the Procurement Department, one person to get a watermelon, the weather is hot, people go out to run the business of attention to the summer heat!

Silence for a few seconds, applause burst!

7, different

After lunch, the boss was happy to return to the office, the staff to tell a few jokes he heard outside.

All the staff, except one woman, burst out laughing.

The boss said to the woman, "What's the matter? Don't you have any sense of humor at all?"

The woman replied, "I don't have to laugh! I'm leaving next week anyway."

8, coincidental

When I arrived at the office early in the morning and took the elevator, I met the boss, and it was just the two of us.

The old man was so serious that he made me nervous.

The old boss said to help him press the 9th floor, but I press the 10th floor by mistake, instantly confused, and brainwashed to reach out and press the "-1" floor .

Finally, when the boss came out of the elevator, he shook his head, and I could hear him muttering, "How did the HR department recruit such a stupid person?"

9, so close

After work, the boss said with a grim face: someone reported you playing with the phone at work, what do you say?

I was immediately angry, very angry to say: I go! Who reported it? You can confront him face to face, I want to see which eye he saw me playing with the phone?

The boss immediately changed his face: Haha, no one reported, just kidding!

My mood has just regained its calmness! Playing with the cell phone at work was almost swindled out by the boss.

10, master

Assistant: "Boss, the production manager has just fed back, recently the weather has been hot the engineers of the engineering and technical department seldom go down to the shop floor, resulting in a lot of problems in the first time do not get a good solution, do you want me to go to knock it."

Boss: "No need, even if I go to knock on it, there is no use?"

Assistant: "Then boss is there a better way?"

Boss: "You call, tell the electrician to disconnect all the air conditioners in the organization's office, and say that the circuit is malfunctioning!"

Assistant: "This?... ... Boss you're so high!"

Holiday (10)

1, looking for who

After the New Year the first day of work, get up in the morning, the wife complained: son can not find clothes to find me, my daughter can not find clothes to find me, you can not find clothes to find me, then I look for who to go ah!

Me: You dare to tightly find clothes to go ah.

2, drinking

New Year's Eve to relatives, during which a variety of persuasion, I had to say that there will be something, driving can not drink. The first time I saw this was when I was a kid, and it was a very good time for me to be a kid, and I was very happy to be a kid.

3, the set

278 BC, Chu Daifu Qu Yuan with four times the leverage to buy Chu state-owned enterprises and emerging industry stocks, for the country to take over.

The result was that because the actual controller, King Huai of Chu, reduced his holdings, the general market fell continuously and could not be forced to close the position.

When Qu Fu Zi heard the news, he was so desperate that he threw himself into the river.

In order to warn future generations, people use green dumpling leaves to wrap the red pork, and then tie it with a rope, i.e., lasso.

4, bragging

I do not brag, Dragon Boat Festival, in order to thank you for the support of friends and family. Special held a prize quiz, where the right answer to the question of friends absolutely have a prize (prizes provided by me)

First Prize: Audi A6L a

Second Prize: 200,000 cash

Third Prize: diamond necklace a

Fourth Prize: iPhone 7 plus 256GB a

Answer the question not much on a few numbers

The next issue is to answer the question of how many people are in the world. /p>

What are the next double color lottery numbers

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5. Disgusting

Taking advantage of the Mid-Autumn Festival to give the goddess a piece of five-kernel mooncake, she looked disdainful, "The five things look fine separately, but why put them together makes you nauseous and want to vomit?"

She sensed my embarrassment and hurriedly added, "Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike your mooncake, I quite like to eat five kernels."

I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when I heard her say, "I'm talking about your five senses."

6. Haters

I have a hater, and last year I gave him a box of mooncakes from the year before for him to eat.

Then he found out. This year I gave him another box and made sure it wasn't from last year.

So he believed it again, and after eating it, he felt something was wrong and called me to ask if it was last year's mooncake again.

I said, "It's from the year before."

7, no wonder

A colleague said that he every year to August 15 on time diarrhea and have to pull a few days, and wild diarrhea.

All of us are surprised, and then another colleague personally and that colleague over the 15th of August only to find out: he likes to eat mooncakes when the mooncake cut, and then the mooncake comes with the deoxidizer, desiccant tear, sprinkled on top of the ......

8, the five

All of us are surprised to find out that the mooncake comes with the mooncake, but we are not sure if it is a good idea to eat the mooncake. strong>

I asked the foreigner: How long have you been in China?

The foreigner said: less than a year.

Me: I have to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival here this year.

The foreigner said: Uh-huh.

I teased him and said: I'll give you a box of mooncakes, five-kernel ones. Okay?

The foreigner laughed and said: heh heh, do you take me for a pig? Five of them? The most I can eat is a three-person one.

9, add to the jam

My mother said: eleven why do not you go out to play ah.

Me: It's not raining? And the city is full of foreign tourists, as much as to give us more traffic.

Mom: You should go out and give people a hard time, stay home and give us a hard time.

10, envy

November vacation, colleagues asked me to go where to play?

I said, return to nature, find a farmhouse, enjoy the fresh air, simple folk style, experience the sunrise, sunset original ecological life!

Colleagues heard a face of envy.

I won't tell him that I have to go back home to collect a few acres of peanuts.

The above is my carefully organized jokes of various types, the quality is absolutely OK, I hope to bring you a little fun. I've spent 2 hours organizing them, so I'm not going to say any more, I'm going to relax my eyes.