1 a boss went to buy tomatoes, picked three, the stall owner weighed said: a catty and a half, three yuan seven. The moncler jackets outlet store is a great way to get your money's worth out of your pocket. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this one, but I'm going to be able to get out of this one. The stall owner quickly took a look at the scale again, "one catty, two taels, three yuan. Just as I was looking at it and wanted to remind moncler outlet store me to pay attention to the scales,moncler outlet online, he calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the large tomato that he had just removed, and turned his head to go.
2Cliff a little mouse waved its short front paws, jumped again and again, trying to learn to fly, next to the mother bat watched it fall head over heels, worried, said: its father, or tell it, it is not our biological!
3 "Journey to the West": a bad birth, want to become a Buddha has difficulty. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms: It is difficult to start a business if you are not from a good background!
4I am very attentive and always let my children go for a walk whenever my wife and I argue. Now all my children are in great health!
5A woman had her right index finger pinched while riding in a car, and she was suing for a million dollars from the car company. The lawyer told her, "I'm afraid you can't claim that much for one finger." The woman snarled, "I use that finger to boss my husband around."
6 A farmer's daughter was too ugly to marry! The farmer had to send her to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare the crows. As it turned out, when she got there, she did scare the crows away! After a few days, the crows returned the corn they had stolen before!
7 Now songs are contradictory. For example, "Fly slowly, my dear, and beware of the roses with thorns ahead. (You're fucking blind! I live on the Songhua River (either to the left or to the right of the river, the one who lives on top of the fucking river is a bastard) I'll send you away, thousands of miles away (why don't you go get the scriptures?).
8 even department has a plmm, once I want to take her to do experiments, about good after work to do experiments. I forgot to go online in the afternoon, and suddenly received a short message from mm when I was off duty: in the end, do not do it? I was at a loss, and my heart was thumping in the middle. Asked a: do what ah? mm loudly: is to do that pull, quickly. I'm in a hurry! The first time I saw this, I was so happy to see you, and I was so happy to see you.
9 cows on the run to see a cow grazing on the side of the road, eagerly said to the cow: "Run, the experts are coming." Female cow: "What are you afraid of when the experts come, aren't the experts human beings?" Bull: "Now the experts specialize in bragging B ah" cow heard a big surprise, spread cheer on the run, while running and asked the bull: "expert bragging B, you are a bull you are afraid of what?" The bull said: "You really do not know ah, now the experts in addition to bragging B will also pull eggs ah....
10One day, the pig said to the bear: "Guess how many pieces of candy I have in my pocket?" The bear said, "If you guess right, will you give me some?" The pig nodded affirmatively, "Well, guess right and you can have both!" The bear gulped and said, "I guess there are five pieces."
Cold:
1 Little White is a lot like his brother, know why? Because: it's really like Big White.
2 a polar bear lonely to stay on the ice, really boring to start pulling their own hair to play, a ...... two ...... three ...... last plucked one not left. He suddenly shouted ............ so cold ah! ..................
3 There is a man who looks like an onion,walking and crying.
4One hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana in front of them suddenly felt hot, and he said, "It's so hot, I have to take off my clothes. So he peeled off his skin. The banana behind him fell down.
5There was a hide-and-seek club, and the head of the club was still missing.
6What's a two-finger V? It's a yay! What's a shaky hand reaching down? It's a falling leaf! Hahaha, I'm laughing my ass off
7 Stretching four fingers, what is it, FOUR, bending four fingers, what is it? WONDERFUL~!
8Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread walking down the street, and he was hungry, so he ate himself. Once upon a time there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said: "I'm so tired, I think my whole body has gone limp.
Ancient times:
1The Emperor: Yung Maa, why do you make things difficult for Little Swallow and Ziwei! What is the intention of this lowly lackey of yours! Sister Rong kneeled on the ground, flooded with tears and said: Your Majesty, you only remember the Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake, the Rong Sister who supported the boat, do you still remember?
2 in the straw boat Lu Su: "Can I really borrow arrows this way? Mr. Kong Ming?" Zhuge Liang: "Trust me." Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ......" Zhuge Liang: "There's no need." Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the boat?" Zhuge Liang: "In that case it's a bit of a hindrance...is something wrong?" Lu Su: "Yeah, I'm worried that the enemy is shooting rockets ......" Zhuge Liang: "Hey! Zi Jing, can you swim? I don't ......"
3The soldiers: "Thirsty ......Thirsty ...... " Cao Cao: "Everyone hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, I remember there is a plum forest nearby, walk a little longer and you may be there" Soldiers: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh!" Half an hour later - Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!" Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? There's finally water to drink!" Soldiers: "No go ...... must find Plum ......"
4 Diaochan: "... ..." Dong Zhuo: "......" Lu Bu: "I just want to hear a sincere word from you, which of the two of us do you really love more! " Diaochan: "......" Dong Zhuo: "......" Lu Bu: "Answer me! " Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide ah ...... like both ......" Lu Bu: "Scum!!!" --According to the examination, the first BL love murder case in Chinese history was born in the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty ......
5One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet with his mistress. The mistress asked Zorro, "What if my husband comes back?" Zorro said, "It's all right, if your husband comes back, I'll jump out of the window and my horse will be down there to catch me." The mistress said, "If I hear three knocks on the door, my husband is back. Zorro said, I know. After a while it was raining. Suddenly there were three knocks on the door. It was too late, too soon, Zorro jumped out of bed, and in a flash, had jumped out of the window. Seeing that Zorro was gone, the mistress went to open the door. Only to see a horse standing in front of the door that said to her, "Tell Zorro that it's raining outside and that I'll wait for him in the hallway."
6There was a family woman, who was favored by her master, and when her companion asked her privately about her condition, she replied, "Your looks are really different." When asked why, he said, "The egg sacks are all soft and silky."
7 night wandering god see the door god night stand, pity and asked: "You grow up to be, how to do people door guests, morning and evening wait, suffer this pain?" The door god said: "out of helpless ears." Said: "Then there is food to eat?" A: "If you want him to eat rice, and do not want me to the door."
8 have conceited high chess, and people corner, even lost three games. The next day, people asked: "Yesterday, a few games of chess?" The answer was: "Three games." And asked: "How about the victory?" Said: "The first game I did not win, the second game he did not lose, the third game I would have been and he refused to just."
9 officials ordered the Taoist priest to pray for rain, long and not, blame his body unclean, blasphemy, so. He was detained in the prison, so that he could not be touched. The more days, the jailer said: "the old Taoist prayers for rain, the small Taoist sunshine, how can there be rain?" The official asked why, the jailer said: "He read in prison: 'I wish a lifetime without rain, save us night and day to boil pain.'"
SMS:
1 What I want is not much, a glass of water, a slice of bread, a sentence of I love you; if a little more extravagant, I hope: the water is poured by your hands, the bread is cut by your hands, I love you is your own mouth to say to me ......
2 Once upon a time, once upon a time, apples and pears are a pair of good friends. But then the apple to move, so they both agreed to return to this place after ten years to meet , the result of ten years later, the apple again returned to this place, but after a long time, the pear still did not show up, the apple waited and waited and waited , the result turned into plasma.
3 "On the day of the wedding, he refused to marry me because I was not a virgin. This is still a man? I've been in love for more than a year, and I've been working in two places, so I've been away a lot. But each other very talk to, this decided to get married in January this year. But when found that I am not a virgin, actually refused to marry me, ask, now the virgin plot of men really still so much? Is it still so important?" Tyrannical reply: who pollutes, who governs, who handles, who is responsible.
4If a good cook wants to make a good pot of dumplings, he certainly can. The problem is that when the head of the division tells him that the dumplings need to reflect the spirit of the kitchen, the manager tells him that the dumplings need to reflect the style of the hotel, the director of the street tells him that the dumplings need to reflect the characteristics of the street, the district chief tells him that the dumplings need to reflect the district's planning, and the mayor tells him that the dumplings need to reflect the city's development, then cups of tea happen.
5,1, Honglou: most of the women; Water Margin: most of the men; Westward Journey: most of them are not people; Three Kingdoms: most of them are all people. 2, Honglou: maiden cheeky; Water Margin: court cheeky; Three Kingdoms: military division cheeky; Westward Journey: fairy cheeky. 3, Westward Journey: Monkey brother save me; Honglou: sister save me; Water Margin: uncle save me; Three Kingdoms: military division save me.
6 loli planted in the hands of uncle, uncle planted in the hands of imperial sister, imperial sister planted in the hands of too much, too much planted in the hands of the queen, the queen depends on the mood, not necessarily planted in the where, in short, and then the Transformers of the woman have a little birdie side.