Full version of the script of Where Has the Time Gone:

B: I haven’t seen you for a while.

A: Yes. You were the only one missing from the class reunion a few days ago. Where were you?

B: There is something going on at home. Is everyone okay?

A: Okay, they all do better than me. Onion became the sales manager, Rubberworm became the department manager, Garfield became the financial director, Little Peach Blossom started her own business, Dry Hook Fish returned from studying abroad, and Big Mouth Monkey is the regional president. He can even mix buck tooth juice better than me. I heard that he raises sea cucumbers. We have just dug our first pot of gold. In short, everyone has a family, a business, a house and a car. I just stayed where I was and there was no improvement at all.

B: Envy, jealousy and hate.

A: Isn’t it? I’m so jealous that my eyes are red. You say we are all classmates, we all ran together, we all graduated from college, we all came from grassroots backgrounds, and we are all in our early thirties, why am I so far behind others? What have I been doing? Where did my time go?

B: Where did the time go? Where did you say you went? Think about it yourself.

A: Where has my time gone? I really can't remember it for a moment.

B: How about taking a spaceship and flying back to your childhood to see where your time went?

A: When I was a kid, I didn’t have to think about that stuff, it was right in front of me. In elementary school, I studied hard and made progress every day, but my grades were not good. When I looked at the exam rankings, I looked at the crowd and looked at me.

B: What about the future?

A: Middle school is the time when the Four Kings are popular. I am not bragging to you. You said in which year Aaron Kwok was born, what color Jacky Cheung likes, what Andy Lau likes to eat, and how many girlfriends Ronaldo has. I know them all absolutely. It's not difficult for me. It is no exaggeration to say that I can dance every dance by Aaron Kwok and sing every song by Jacky Cheung. I have watched every movie by Andy Lau, not to mention Ronaldo. I have all the jerseys, boots, pictures, posters and magazines.

B: Just a groupie.

A: There is also a Jacky Cheung fan in the class. A classmate refused to accept and challenged me to a duel. I am a rooster and sang for all the world. As soon as my voice went up, eight of the ten judges knocked down.

B: Aren’t there two more?

A: Those two vomited before they even got to the bathroom!

B: As for that?

A: My classmates said that I have seen many people who sing out of tune, but this is the first time I have seen someone who can sing eighteen tunes with one mouth. He didn't think it would be better to dance, because I sang more songs than he danced more. As a result, there was no winner in the 200 rounds. From then on, my classmates called me Erbai Ge and him Erbai Wu.

B: Three years of middle school were spent on this.

A: When I was in high school, I was obsessed with the world of martial arts and wanted to be a hero who helped the weak and the poor. It is no exaggeration to say that Jin Yong can recite every novel by heart. Also, my deskmate loves Qiong Yao. After class every day, I practice hard with my novel in hand, and after a few years, I become a cute girl. Just three words to me every day: you are good or bad. You are really good and bad. You are really really good and bad.

B: Typical Qiong Yao style.

A: She pissed me off once and I said: You are boring and I hate you for being unreasonable! She said that you are boring, annoying and unreasonable? I said that I am boring, annoying and unreasonable? She said that you are not boring, annoying and unreasonable?

B: Okay, stop talking. My brain exploded.

A: I really can’t hold on any longer. If you keep talking, I’ll slap you. She said you beat me, you beat me, why didn't you beat me? I said, do you believe it or not, I can kill you with my Tianshan plum-breaking hand.

The Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms will kill you, the dog-beating stick method will kill you, the Great Shift of the Universe will scare you to death, the Lingbo Weibu will faint you, the star-absorbing method will kill you, and the Dugu Nine Swords will stab you to death. You, Yiyang pointed you to death, orchid brushed your acupuncture points to beat you to death, left and right fighting techniques chopped you to death, these gestures really scared her to tears. I had no choice but to make amends, apologize, and cede territory to pay compensation.

B: Land cession and compensation?

A: My territory was invaded even before the 38th Parallel was drawn. I squeezed into a small space every day and practiced the Sad Ecstasy Palm hard. Let's see, one day I will be the one to decide my territory and my life. Finally, the day that I have been waiting for has finally come.

B: Oh?

A: I can avenge my shame by going to college. First of all, I have to embolden myself to do things that I wanted to do but didn’t do in the past.

B: Make a bold breakthrough. What's going on?

A: Let’s talk about love openly.

B: No one has to do this secretly?

A: How dare you do this without going to college? The teacher wants to nip it in the bud.

B: Yes.

A: What kind of partner should I find? The history department is scheming, the art department is playing tricks, the foreign language department is not bright enough, and the chemistry department is careless. I will shoot them all.

B: Aren’t there other departments?

A: That won’t work either. You said that those in the mathematics department will become fools sooner or later if they do math every day; the economics department is not good, and will not give up until every penny is squeezed out of them; the performance department is not reliable, because they don’t know whether life is still acting; the physical education department is more cautious. Beware of physical combat with you.

B: So what do you like?

A: Just be a potato like you, with a strong look and a serious heart. No nightmares at night.

B: Fuck you. How can you find it?

A: Easy to find. I'm going to use the wolf pack tactic to sow more and reap less. Sent text messages to every girl in school.

B: No matter who you are, I won’t reply to your group messages.

A: In the end, someone really took the bait. A girl with glasses named Mimi became my prey.

B: What happened next?

A: Cough, don’t mention it. Not long after we started talking, I bought chocolates and a windbreaker for her online. I was very enthusiastic when I first met, but when I put on my windbreaker and dug my pockets, it was ruined!

B: What happened?

A: There is also a love letter inside. Mimi was overjoyed and couldn't help but recite: Green grass by the river, I will love you until I grow old, the wildfire will not burn it out, tomorrow will be better. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the dock and I am the boat, you are the sun and I revolve around you. Only you can determine happiness. I wouldn't change it for the world, you are my NO1! Dedicated to my beloved Qianqian. What's wrong with this!

B: I was told that the writing was good. Oh no, isn’t the girl with glasses called Mimi?

A: Don’t understand? The seller put his love letter in his windbreaker and mailed it out.

B: Please explain to others quickly.

A: I wanted to make her happy with the chocolates, but when I opened it and saw the good guys, the whole box was broken into pieces. Mimi slapped me on the head, making stars appear in my eyes.

I didn’t bother with you last time when I bought a condom in the package for my mother, but now I’m trying to do two things! If I have a small boat, I'll look for an aircraft carrier! I originally wanted to get married quickly and get married before Singles’ Day! This is a good time, life-long happiness is ruined.

B: I guess you are so heartbroken that it looks like stuffing for dumplings.

A: I was in a bad mood all day: I ate fried noodles until my rice shoots grew, drank beer until my fingernails grew, got on the bus and put my card in the coin slot and got off the bus and had my head pinched, and I almost got hit while crossing the road. A fly smacks a nail on a nail, a mobile phone is dropped in the toilet and cannot be taken out to buy stocks and miss the opportunity to cover positions.

B: There is no need to be so decadent. There is no grass anywhere in the world.

A: It’s not over yet. When I got home, I took out my pocket and found that the key had fallen off. Searching around the whole community, there happened to be a young couple on the roadside. The man shouted loudly: Who is it? Who is it? I thought it was the key and quickly said it was mine! Later I found out that the woman was pregnant!

B: This is really troublesome!

A: The man came up and started punching me. When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital.

B: It’s so pitiful. A sincere heart has become a donkey's lungs.

A: Because of this, I didn’t fall in love for four years, so I had to eat to pass the time. I wanted to eat my sorrow one bite at a time, but I didn’t want to eat it and become fat. While I was looking for a job after graduation, I was busy losing weight. Almost a month's pocket money is spent on eating and losing weight.

B: It’s time to lose weight.

A: For this reason, I practice yoga hard for 4 hours every day. When I practice, my shoulders go up and down. If anyone sees me, they think I am abnormal. Not to mention, I gave up all staple food and snacks. I once ate 7 kilograms of persimmons in one sitting and was poisoned after eating them.

B: Has it been reduced?

A: You think it’s so easy? Anyway, I don’t want to go out to meet people. People think my stall is too big. Just stay at home and chat with the beautiful girl on QQ, buy lottery tickets and speculate in stocks.

B: What is the maximum amount you can win in one lottery ticket?

A: Three thousand.

B: Not bad.

A: Twenty thousand has been spent.

B: What about buying stocks?

A: Don’t mention it. At the beginning, everything was red, but when I entered, it was all green.

B: The China Securities Regulatory Commission has long warned investors: stocks are risky and you must be cautious when entering the market.

A: It’s hard to find a job that doesn’t pay much, but it’s too boring, so I can only pass the time by playing games.

B: You can learn something else in your free time. You have so many skills that you won’t be overwhelmed.

A: What to study? I am too busy growing vegetables every day.

B: Are you addicted to growing vegetables?

A: I can’t stay idle in the middle of the night and get up every day to steal food. As a result, I was listless during the day and had wild thoughts at night. I had my bonus deducted a few times and then I fell asleep during meetings and was fired.

B: It’s time for you to reflect on yourself.

A: What are you reflecting on? You said this boss is too heartless. Why was I fired?

B: Stealing food.

A: No, I got up in the middle of the night to help the boss collect the vegetables! The more I thought about it, the angrier I became and decided to settle the matter with my boss. As a result, I accidentally rode my bicycle into a smelly ditch.

B: Was there a car accident?

A: Being hospitalized is also a series of bad luck. Do what you think.

B: Isn’t this great?

A: What’s good? I hoped someone would hurt me, but the nurse removed the bandage and changed the dressing. It hurt so much. I wish I had a phone to make calls. A friend sent me a cell phone balloon and I popped it.

B: Okay, okay, it’s just a small setback, it will be over.

A: That’s really good. From then on, all my wishes came true.

B: Really?

A: I want to live a life of counting large sums of money every day. It really worked and I went to the bank.

B: Do your best.

A: After working in a bank for a while, I hope to open a bank. It worked: the manager gave me the key to the door. My work was not going well, so I hoped someone could help me, and it worked. I was pushed from behind while walking down the stairs for no apparent reason.

B: Hospitalized again? You are really a bad guy.

A: During this period, I began to reflect on myself: Why have I been so inactive and chaotic for so many years? Where did my time go? Where did I spend my time?

B: That’s right. You should have reflected on yourself and sorted out the summary.

A: I think the future is bright but I can’t find a way out.

B: Let me tell you, don’t be too ambitious, and decide what to do next.

A: Yes, I can’t fish for three days and dry the nets for two days. I can’t trade one shot for another. I decided to try my best, starting with the stinky tofu I'm good at. So I set up a stall on the street to make stinky tofu. I'm not bragging to you, my stinky tofu is a secret recipe passed down from generation to generation and has never been leaked. Do you know how my father took my mother down? Speaking of which, my mother was a bit at a loss because she didn’t control her mouth and stuck this flower on the cow dung!

B: To put it bluntly, you took advantage of your own strength to do what you wanted. Your father brought his special top-secret weapon into the battle, and your mother was captured.

A: My dad used this to capture my mom’s heart. Now this unique skill has been passed on to me.

B: You have to be better than the old and carry this thing forward.

A: I have worked hard to develop more than 50 series with complete varieties and styles. It didn’t take long for him to transform from a street vendor to the chief CEO and executive director of Stinky Tofu.

B: There is a market for this thing. It can beautify the skin, strengthen the spleen and appetite, and ensure that you will be like Principal Tan - always twenty-five years old.

A: Isn’t it? Ever since my mother tasted my stinky tofu, she is in high spirits every day, laughing all the time, walking fast during the day and flying away at night, singing off-key and yelling at nothing. The key is that the two front teeth that were about to retire are now standing still at their posts.

B: If you continue with this momentum, it won’t be long before your stinky tofu can take root in Tianjin, establish a foothold in North China, and become famous throughout the country and the world.

A: I was planning to recruit more employees, but I didn’t want the neighborhood committee to come knocking on my door.

B: What’s wrong?

A: They told me that the smell of my food was too great and would affect the lives of the residents. They asked me to withdraw from the stall and asked me to work in the neighborhood committee out of compensation.

B: That’s okay too.

A: What can you do? What do you think a big old man like me is messing around with a bunch of old ladies? Besides, the job is not just checking household registration today, emptying paper baskets tomorrow, catching dogs on the streets the day after tomorrow, but not helping people find a spouse; not informing each household to renovate their watch, or publicizing anti-theft prevention; not writing work reports or leading a group of old ladies. Jump up and down on stilts. If I can't make stinky tofu, I'll do something else.

B: What are you doing?

A: Finally I decided to find a job where others would give me money instead of doing anything.

B: Beggar.

A: Fortune telling?

B: Is the calculation accurate?

A: It’s accurate. In the past, you didn’t believe that I used horoscopes to predict marriage for everyone, but now it’s effective, right?

B: Who do you want to blame?

A: Xu Xian, White Snake. I said they would definitely make it, how about it? Already married.

B: Why?

A: A Pisces and a Cancer, born to make seafood. Lan Caihe and He Xiangu are also engaged.

B: What’s the reason?

A: A Taurus and an Aries, the same beasts.

B: What?

A: One day I asked someone to do a fortune-telling for me. The person said that I had no talent, no power, no wife and no children until I was forty years old.

B: Just transferred?

A: I’m used to it. Do you think this is a loss? Can't peers be squeezed like this? Isn't this a swipe at my face?

B: Okay, okay, stop talking and tell me that they won’t hurt you at all. I understand clearly, where did people’s time go? Spend your time where it should be spent, where does your time go? Just let yourself be wasted like this.

A: Aren’t micro-movies popular nowadays? I made a short film about my experiences over the years, so that everyone can learn from me and stop wasting years and wasting time. I have already thought of the name, and it’s called Where Has All the Time Gone.