When I think about it carefully, it seems that I have never experienced city life. I was born in a small town. Even though I spent 4 years in a certain first-tier city in college, it was still in a very remote area. Once when I was chatting with a friend, I said that I didn’t understand the city I was living in (here specifically refers to the urban area) at all. Its traffic conditions, entertainment venues, hospitals and schools, regional distribution, etc. If I want to go alone, I have to rely entirely on navigation. A friend said, "Well, then you are from the country." After hearing this, I answered him without hesitation, yes.
I have never felt that country people are such a "disgraced" identity. I can’t remember exactly which year the policy abolished the distinction between rural and urban areas, and everyone was classified as urban residents. But, at heart, I am a small town girl.
I didn’t get my own computer until I was in college. In fact, it is not that late, because in fact, at that time, computers were not as popular as they are today. Only in retrospect can you feel the rapid changes of this era. I still vaguely remember living in a small bungalow with my parents when I was a child, and suddenly one day we moved to a big house. Until now, every household can pay attention to the construction of spiritual civilization after a good meal. Only twenty years.
From that 13-inch screen, I saw the beauty, grandeur, and noisy and dirty world of this world.
I first came into contact with American TV series. The first American TV series I watched was "The Vampire Diaries". For an audience who has watched domestic TV series for more than ten years, the first exposure to American TV series simply opened the door to a new world!
(Nina Dobrev’s first appearance, she was still a stunningly beautiful girl at the time!)
I think many people understand those we are not familiar with in this way place and culture, and become fascinated by them. You may yearn for the first snow in Korea, you may look forward to the adventures of Japanese high school students, you may want to experience the elegance of British aristocracy, or you may pursue American freedom, enthusiasm and unrestrainedness.
(Stills from "Downton Abbey", even the dogs in it are more temperamental than us slum girls)
At an age when my outlook on life and values ??have not yet been fully formed (I was a freshman (I was not yet 18 years old), facing this dazzling world, I feel more confused. In fact, until now, I dare not say that I have found a career that I can work for my whole life. And after communicating with some people, you will find that many people have the same confusion as you. Everyone circled around this question, and when they came back to their senses, they realized that they were back to where they were.
Is it painful and more confusing? So, I ran around it a few more times. Finally, some people figured it out and thought that maybe this was not a problem, otherwise why would there be no answer? Since it's not a problem, why should I bother others? They continued to circle around, no longer paying attention even if they returned to the same place. Some people have figured it out and feel that this is indeed a problem, but not all questions have answers, otherwise there would be so many unsolved mysteries in the world. But even though there are many questions that scientists have yet to find perfect answers to, they have not given up searching. So these people also circled around this problem, thinking as they circled, but they took a road around the mountain. Even though they went around in circles, they finally reached the top of the mountain.
In fact, these two kinds of people can live their lives with peace of mind and contentment. What hurts is the person caught in the middle, who can't let go of the answer to this question, but can't convince himself that it's not a problem.
I was in this state for a long time. It is a vicious cycle of being dissatisfied with the status quo and unable to change, until you fall into deep self-blame. Especially when you can glimpse a corner of this world, you know that the world originally has colorful choices, and there are people living the life you yearn for, but you are the nobody living in a corner, and the future will either be the same as far as you can see. Boring, or scary unknown and hardship.
Just like a person's growth often occurs after encountering something unprepared. I accidentally saw such a Weibo:
A word was mentioned in the Weibo :"Belief". It's strange, it's not the first time I heard this word, but for some reason it made a big impression on me this time.
When it comes to faith, the first thing that comes to mind is religion.
China is not a religious country, and my family does not have a tradition of believing in a certain religion. Therefore, I do not have a fixed or firm religious belief. Although some social events that have occurred in recent years have also made citizens disgusted with certain religious behaviors, the impact of faith on people cannot be ignored. Because I gradually realized that I have been confused and wandering in the past few years, and I feel like I am wandering in a fog. Isn’t it because I lack something that is enough to support me in my heart? And if I want to be more specific, I would call it "faith."
A vulgar metaphor: a kite with a broken string does not get freedom, but falls. Only when the thread fixed on the ground holds it, connects it, and binds it, can it fly high into the sky. If the dandelion loses the seeds that fall below, it may be able to fly higher and further, but what's the point? Its destiny lies on the earth, not the sky.
We cannot move forward, not because we are burdened, but because we are empty.
If you feel that you can use painting to depict the world in your imagination to the greatest extent, then go for painting; if you are a money supremacist, accumulate wealth as much as possible; if you feel that people's There is no greater achievement in life than traveling around the world, so start your plans now. In short, find the biggest pillar in your life, rely on it, and move forward step by step. Looking at the above Weibo, you may be able to understand why some people are willing to work hard in small roles and small positions for a lifetime.
However, the network through which you understand the world is staged in front of our eyes at every moment, a dazzling and extravagant special effects drama. Those who are not firm in their beliefs may be shaken or even change their beliefs, even those who are insisting now. There is no guarantee that you will stick to it, you say how cruel this world is.
This brings us back to the "problem" mentioned above. Do you think this is a problem: To be or not to be, this is a question.
If you think it is not a problem, then fine, please circle around it firmly, even if it is over and over again Don't be upset or blame yourself if you go back to the same place over and over again.
If you think this is a problem, then please start walking around your winding mountain road. You will find it strenuous and bumpy, and you will occasionally encounter mudslides and landslides, but you will not be able to stop.
Once you choose your belief, you must firmly believe in it. The firmer you are, the more firmly it will support you. But we also know that it is really difficult to insist on believing in one thing for a lifetime. What qualifications do we mere mortals have to dictate the future? But at least, please hold on long enough. Some things can only be accomplished with perseverance, and there are no shortcuts or techniques. If you don’t want to put in perseverance and effort, if your assessment of yourself is: I am a person without perseverance and I am not willing to endure hardship, then please firmly choose the "turning in circles" plan, and don't always think about the scenery on the top of the mountain. How good.
Talking about myself, there are some certain things: I like flowers, trees and animals, I want to travel to various places, experience different customs and customs, and I want to write great works.
Plans for the above: buy your own house in the countryside, have space to raise flowers and birds, and have time to play with cats and dogs; work hard, save money, arrange your time reasonably, and bring Parents travel to various places; active in writing.
Summary in two words - Gengdu
Dreams are far away, but reality is difficult. Even if I choose to settle for the status of an ordinary small town girl, I still have to put in a lot of effort, and even more so. What about those who have grand ideals?
May we not give up the fight, may we be at peace in our hearts, and may we meet one day in the future.