1． Monogamy. Before 1949, the Miao people practiced monogamy, except for a few original wives who were barren and had polygamous wives. Miao people generally do not intermarry with other ethnic groups. Branches of the same ethnic group with different costumes rarely or never intermarry. The Miao people prohibit intermarriage within the family. In the Qiandong area, even those who are regarded as brothers are regarded as members of the same clan, and their children are brothers and sisters, and they cannot intermarry. In recent decades, I have learned that marrying an uncle is unscientific, and I have changed the old custom of marrying a cousin. ?
2. Free love. The more concentrated the Miao people are in the area, the more independent they are in marriage, which is realized by young men and women participating in "youfang" social activities in person. Even those who are arranged by their parents and are only engaged but not married can still freely participate in normal "traveling" social activities. The "youfang" social activities of young men and women in southeastern Guizhou are usually held during the day during festive or festive days. At that time, the young men will go to the fixed playgrounds near the villages of different families and whistle, make "oh ho" sounds, and sing invitations. When the girls hear this, they will know that the young men have arrived, and they will quietly invite each other to meet the young men. , introduce each other, talk, exchange knowledge, and sing to each other. Repeat this many times, find the person you like, and then further talk alone to build a relationship. In some places, it is held every night. After the young men from each village finished eating, they went to the villages of different families to "tour" in small groups.
The Miao social activities in northwest Guizhou are called "playing in Huashan" or "dancing on the moon" and "eating ordinary meals". During their festivals (i.e. the first to the fifteenth day of the first lunar month; the fifth day of the fifth lunar month, etc.), unmarried young men and women from all over the country gather on a hillside in several villages to introduce each other, talk, sing to each other, etc. If they fall in love at first sight, they can Pour out your love. The Miao people in the Chuxiong area of ??Yunnan still had the custom of "girls' rooms" decades ago, that is, two public houses were set up by the collective so that unmarried young men and women could rest or stay in separate rooms after work. They sang songs to each other and took the opportunity to choose a mate. In addition, there is a bad habit of "robbing girls" in some Miao areas in Honghe, Yunnan. If the girl is snatched away and does not agree, she can go back; if the girl is willing, both parties will go back and inform their parents to prepare for the wedding. Miao young men and women living in the western Hunan area, including northeastern Guizhou, western Hubei and the southeastern corner of Sichuan, must also enter into a marriage contract on the basis of free love with a "girl". Young men and women in Guangrongshui Miao Autonomous County go to the girl's home to talk and sing to each other by the fire pit. After many times of "sitting with girls", a romantic relationship can be established when the relationship becomes harmonious. ?
3. got engaged. After the Miao people pass free love, the man can ask a matchmaker to go to the woman's home to formally propose marriage. Generally, the number of times the matchmaker goes is getting better and better. It is commonly known as "it is more valuable to ask for more relatives". If the woman's family agrees, the engagement ceremony can be held. However, the specific rituals of the Miao people vary from place to place. In the area in western Hunan, if the girl's family is determined to betrothed, the engagement can only be formalized after the family expresses its approval by having a drink of wine. Then the man's family will choose an auspicious day to give gifts to the woman's family, including glutinous rice cakes, tea oil, wine and meat, etc. The girl's family also invites her family members to eat and drink for two days and three nights. After the ceremony, the groom's family chooses a day to get married.
In the Miao ethnic group at the junction of Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, the man invites a matchmaker to the girl's house to make an appointment. Often the matchmaker will say that a certain family wants your girl to carry water for drinking. If the woman agrees, the matchmaker will come back to summon the man’s parents and choose an auspicious date to get married. If the marriage is arranged by parents, the groom's parents will first kill a sheep and send it to the woman's family. The woman will keep half of the sheep and leave the other half to be brought back to the man's family to show that they will not increase the burden on the man's family and express their willingness to get married. After that, the man's family asks the matchmaker to bring a pair of chickens, a bag of fried noodles and some eggs to the woman's house to express their intention to get engaged. This is considered as completing the engagement formalities; if the woman does not agree, they kill a sheep and send it to the man's house to show her intention to get engaged. Return gift. After the man and woman agree on the wedding date, the parents of both parties actively prepare gifts, food and identify two or three groomsmen and bridesmaids.
4． marry. Miao weddings are usually very grand. At that time, the male and female hosts slaughter pigs and sheep to entertain the villagers and guests. Generally, it includes procedures such as seeing off and welcoming the bride. But wedding ceremonies vary from place to place.
For example, in Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, when the Miao people hold a wedding, the groom's family kills a pig, a pair of chickens, several pots of wine, some eggs and a live cow, and the groom's groomsmen take them to the bride's family. , as a gift for picking up the bride. They stayed at the bride's house for a day or two, and the bride's family also killed a pig to receive them, leaving half of it for the groom's family as a gift in return. At the same time, the bride and bridesmaid followed the groom and groomsmen to the groom's house. On the way, the groom's two men lead the way in front, the bride and bridesmaids follow, and the gift picker walks last. When the bride approaches the groom's house, the groom's parents come out to greet the bride and bridesmaids. During dinner, the bride and bridesmaids sit at one table, the groom and groomsmen sit at another table, and the rest sit casually. At night, young men and women sing, play the reed pipe, harmonica, etc.; the elderly also participate in singing, which is very lively.
In the area in western Hunan, when the wedding procession comes to the door, the girl’s house is the first to close the door, and the guests and hosts set off firecrackers at the same time. The boy’s family sends a bag of money through the crack of the door, which is called an “opening gift”. The house just opens the door to welcome you. After breakfast, the wedding takes place, and the cousin carries the bride into the sedan. In addition to being accompanied by relatives, the bride is also accompanied by her girlfriend, a "brother-in-law" who has both children, and singers.
The bride’s girlfriends are all dressed in costumes. Only when the bride steps on the bamboo sifting and enters the groom’s house, do they know who the bride is. After entering the door, instead of worshiping, they walked to the fire pit and sat down. The officiant asked the bride and groom to drink a glass of wine, eat a piece of meat, and then wash their faces with a basin of potion to eliminate evil spirits. After the wedding officiant sings the "Hongshi Song", after dinner, the singers from both parties will sing in duet. The wedding will last for three consecutive days before the wedding is over. ?
5. Return to the door. The Miao people have the custom of returning home during marriage, that is, the bride must return to her natal family after marrying into the groom's family. But when to return, how long it will take to return to your mother's home, and the complexity of the ceremony. All vary from place to place. In some places, you can only have sex after going home. For example, in Xiangxi, within three days of the wedding, the bride and groom can only meet each other and cannot live together until they return home to stay one night at their parents' house and then return to the groom's house the next day. This night is the wedding night of the bride and groom. In Sichuan, Guizhou and Yunnan, after the bride has lived in her husband's house for a month or two, the groom accompanies the bride back to her parents' house to stay for a few days, and then they both return to the groom's parents' house to live. In southeastern Guizhou, sending the bride home is the most solemn wedding etiquette of the Miao people.
It is a popular local custom to take the woman to the man’s home to hold an engagement ceremony. On the third day after the engagement, the bride’s family sent several girls to bring clothes to the bride. The groom’s family actively sent two jars of rice wine, two pig legs, a load of glutinous rice, a load of glutinous rice cakes, and Two large cakes as big as a sieve, chickens, ducks, etc. Some even give away a load of rice. At that time, the man will invite the young men and women in the family to accompany the bride back to the house according to the request of the woman's parents. The groom will stay at home and cannot participate in the escort.
On the night when they returned to the bride's house, the bride's parents held a banquet to entertain the guests and invited the young men and women of the family to accompany them. The men ate at separate tables. During the dinner, the singers of the host and guest began to sing ancient Miao songs to each other, question each other about national historical knowledge, and toast each other while singing. This was an excellent opportunity to learn and teach each other about Miao history and culture. After breakfast the next day, the guests came one after another to invite the guests to their homes, making the whole village drink and sing continuously and immersed in an atmosphere of joy. The guests visited each house, and finally returned to the bride's house for a farewell meal before preparing to return to the groom's house. At this time, the men have to give financial gifts to the bride's family. The host will give a white cloth handkerchief and gifts. When the guests leave, all the men and women in the village come out to see them off. When they walked out of the village, the girls from the bride's village gathered around the young men to beg for colorful flower threads. Immediately, the guests and hosts heard farewell songs again, and the homecoming ceremony ended, and the bride stayed with her parents.
After that, during the New Year and festivals or during busy farming times, the groom's family would send someone to pick up the bride. After staying for a few days, she would go back to her parents' parents' home to live. This was repeated many times, and finally the groom's mother went to pick up the bride, and then she lived in the husband's family and began to live with her husband. Now this custom has gradually changed. ?
6. Get married. There are some Miao people who marry into their wives and live with their wives, but they are generally very few. Usually, it is because they have a daughter but no children, so they have to recruit a man into the house. The married man is usually an only son with many brothers, a poor family or no parents. ?
7. divorce.
Miao people rarely divorced in the past. If the couple is really at odds with each other, they can freely file for divorce, but the parents of both parties will not come forward to mediate. The three elders and four younger persons will negotiate the issue of compensation, that is, the person who initiated the divorce first will pay the other party a sum of damages. If both parties ask for a divorce, they will not pay compensation to each other, and the relationship between husband and wife will be ended. They will return to their parents, and then participate in "traveling" social activities to make new partners. Some divorced couples break open the bamboo tube with patterns on it and each holds half as a token. ?
8． remarry. Middle-aged Miao widows, regardless of gender, can remarry. However, if a woman remarries, she must walk out of the small door at night. For the Miao people in southeastern Guizhou and western Hunan, if an elder brother dies, the unmarried or widowed younger brother has the right to first ask his sister-in-law to "transfer a house" (if the brother does not transfer the house with his sister-in-law), the decision is made by the sister-in-law, and no one can force it. However, among the Miao people in the Maguan and Jinping areas of Yunnan, the widowed sister-in-law must remarry the younger brother (that is, the uncle-sister-in-law transfers the house).