1. Why is the penguin's belly white? Because penguins have short hands, they can only take a bath in front of them. 2. The rooster went on a business trip for a month, and when he came back, he heard that quails always came to the hen to play! The rooster then began to suspect the hen! Sure enough, not two days later, the hen gave birth to a quail egg! The rooster was furious! The hen explains, "Shit, it was premature!" 3. A centipede went out and was bitten by a snake! In order to prevent the venom from spreading, the leg must be amputated immediately! The centipede reassures itself, "Luckily I have many legs!" The doctor also said, "Yes, brother, think about it, you'll be an earthworm from now on! 4. The spider found a caterpillar on the tree, but it was too small for it to eat. After a few days to look again, flew out a beautiful flower butterfly, the spider said: you kid, want to use the beauty trick away from the mountain? 5. A butterfly broke its wings, but it still flew away, why? .................. because it is very strong 6. There is a hand grenade, one day it finished eating, clear its teeth, suddenly found that there is a thorn in the middle of the teeth, it is hard to pull it out, the result is that it exploded! Out, the result is exploded ......... day, an eggplant walking in the street, suddenly sneezed a root big sneeze, it wiped the nose angry said: and fucking in the collective photo! One day he hung up. There was a man who was walking and felt his feet were very sore!　　8. There was a hedgehog, rowing a rubber boat, rowing, drowning.　　-------- Tell you a funny story~~ A chicken slid down a hill ....... This is the funny story --------9. One day a man was watching TV at home, he was watching ** and heard a knock on the door, so he went to open the door, but he saw a snail, and the snail said, can I have a glass of water to drink? The snail said, "Can I have a glass of water?" The man was so angry that he kicked the snail away. A few years later, the man was watching TV at home when he heard a knock on the door, and when he opened the door, he saw the snail again, and the snail said, "Why did you kick me just now?　10. The little plum said to her mother, "Mom, I don't feel well today, I don't want to go to school...". Mom said, "What's wrong? The little talking plum said, I don't know why I always feel sore all over.　　-------- 11. There is a meat bun, one day it went to drink, but it was drunk, so it walked while holding the pole spit, spit spit it into a steamed bun -------- Liu Ruoying chased Jay Chou, was Jay Chou severely rejected in public!　　Jay Chou said: ...... Milk tea ........ I only like the Yule Meter ------- 12. A bird breeder to teach the parrot to speak, every morning must teach it to say: good morning! After a few months, the parrot still does not speak, one day, this person is not in a good mood, did not ask good, only to hear the parrot screamed: your kid today cattle ah, even good also do not ask! 13. three children chatting together to say what the most poisonous! Kid A: "Mosquitoes are the most poisonous, my brother's hand was stung by a mosquito, and red and itchy." Child B: "Wasps are the most poisonous, my brother was stung by a wasp face, and now still swollen and painful." Child C thought for half a day and said: "I don't know what stabbed my sister, her stomach swollen and round and big! 14. One day, a sparrow said to a pigeon: "Do you dare to go and fight the eagle?" "Of course I dare," said the pigeon flew away, after a while the pigeon flew back, the body of a feather is not. The sparrow asked, "What happened?" The pigeon said, "The boy was not convinced, I beat him naked." 15. One day, a bird flew from Gaoxiong to Taipei in one hour. But it took 2 hours to come back!　Because it was raining! So it had to fly with one hand to protect itself from the rain. 16. There were three tadpoles, they went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... was fried frogs.　　The three tadpoles coincidentally sang: I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to grow up.... . 17. Hunter hunting, look at the tree there are two birds, raise the gun down one, found a hairless, is wondering, the other bird flew down cursing the hunter: he *, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes, you shot her down. 18. 18. One day the hen flew up to the roof, the owner of the angry angry said "you down, and not down I will all the roosters here slaughtered, so that you are worse than death." The hen laughed and said, "Finally, I can go to the ducks." 19. When I was a child, the dream I was most afraid of was dreaming that I was looking for the toilet, and the scariest thing was that I hadn't woken up yet, and the toilet was found. 20. The little goose asked the mother goose, "Why do you call your father Royal Amma?" The mother goose said to the little goose, "Because I am your goose mother." 21. Liu Ruoying asked Jay Chou why he rejected her proposal of love. Jay Chou said, "Milk tea, I like Yummy. 22. One day, Tofu was wandering in the street, met Vinegar, Tofu said flirtatiously: "Good big sour ah, and go to provoke the feelings of others?" Vinegar a angry tofu to mix! 23. A mosquito into the city, hungry. See a young lady's breasts towering, then head into the bite, the result is full of silicone mouth, so the sky long sigh: "Alas, food safety is too much of a problem! Where can I find safe milk?" 24. The hen whined to the bull: "It's so unfair that human beings let me lay more eggs but plan their own family planning!" The old bull said, "What do you care? People all over the world drink my wife's milk, who the hell cares if I'm called daddy!" 25. A car married a train, but soon got divorced. When asked why, the car said sadly, "He was worried about me getting hit every day, and I was afraid that he would cheat on me, so I couldn't stand it!" 26.Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and died, ask him how he died.　　A: He suffocated to death because there were no poles in the desert to pee on.　　Q: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a utility pole and still ended up suffocating to death, why?　　A: The poles were labeled "No Peeing Here" Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found poles with nothing on them, but he still suffocated, why?　　A: A lot of puppies were in line and didn't wait.　　Q: A puppy traveling in the desert, found the pole with nothing affixed to it, and lined up, and still ended up suffocating, why?　　A: Because the back is two beautiful dog MM, he was embarrassed. 27. fox and kangaroo two people together empty-handed to go to the supermarket, came to the door of the supermarket security guards to let the fox in, but in any case do not let the kangaroo just go in. Kangaroo asked: "Why?" The security guard said: "You have to save the bag first." 28. Once upon a time there was a man, he never washed his head, and then his head has a very thick layer of ash, and then there is a seed fell on his head, it rained, the seed germinated and grew into a big tree, there is a big tree is also quite good, you can block the sun to cover the rain, but the tree is always a lot of birds, noisy him very annoying, so he pulled the tree, the tree pull out of his head after more than a big pit, it rained, the pit is a lot of water, water A lot of fish, and a lot of people rowing boats in it, and then later when it got cold, the water froze and he died of cold. 29. The leader of the cannibalism group had a disease, and the doctor said, "It's caused by eating too much meat, and you need to eat more plants." From then on, the leader of the cannibal group made a decision: not to eat ordinary people, only eat plants! 30.The young cleric was walking in the forest when a big bear suddenly appeared. The cleric tried desperately to run away, and the bear chased him closely. The cleric stepped into a puddle and fell to the ground. In desperation, he prayed to God, "Lord, turn this ferocious beast into a religious man." Lightning flashed and a miracle happened ..................... The bear knelt down in front of him, put his hands on his chest, bowed his head and murmured, "Thank God for this rich meal." 31. A hen was incubating her eggs comfortably, when suddenly an egg came out from under her butt. The hen was surprised and asked, "What happened? How did you get out?" The little egg said: "You ............. You ..................... You farted!" 32. A little snapper winked wryly: "You know what? I work in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant." "You're talking nonsense again!" The mouse laughed. "I'm not lying," the snapper got serious, "they take my bath water and make soup there." 33. Horse Face: "Master Yama, the new kid guarding the frying pan hell is a pervert." Yama: "Oh?" Horse Face: "Every time he pushes someone to go down to the frying pan, he forces them to go down with two pairs of arms." King of Hell: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, he used to be a deep fryer." 34. One day, the exclamation point again met the dash, then immediately laughed: Fuck! You still want to fight with someone with this body? You've been pushed down, right? Dash was furious: Nima! I am not as tall as you! But my waist is thicker than three of yours! The dog is crying in the garden, the cat asks him why he's so sad, and the dog says: "Archaeologists found tons of creature bones in the master's garden, and said they might be left behind by prehistoric creatures!" Cat: "What's that got to do with you? Why are you so sad?" Dog cries, "Those are my personal belongings!" 35.In the refrigerator freezer, a dumpling found a new guest. "Hi~ Soup dumplings, when did you come? What kind of filling do you have, Soup Dumpling?" "Hi, Tangyuan, is Lantern your brother?" "Soup dumplings you're so white looking." "Why don't you say something?" "Hey, Tangyuan, do you feel cold?" Soup dumplings finally couldn't stand it anymore, glanced at dumplings and said coldly, "Food doesn't talk." 36. Miss Hair fell in love with Mr. Scissors and cried, "I really like you, why do you ignore me?" So Mr. Scissors ignored her.