Making money is like digging into the ground with a needle, and spending money is like water seeping into the soil.

Why don't you wear boxers, because it's a waste of money and cloth

Girl, please look in the mirror, it's the clothes that look good when mixed and matched, not the facial features.

You dislike me all day long. If there was nothing wrong with me, I would still fall in love with you.

Life is like Park Yoochun’s hairstyle, you never know what it will look like tomorrow.

Don’t hang yourself on a tree, try to die on several nearby trees~

After blacklisting You, my appetite has improved and my body has become stronger. Finally no longer short-sighted.

I see money as dirt, and my dad sees me as a septic tank.

Sometimes being fat is also a kind of beauty. At least I am fat but not greasy.

There are always some people who, even though they wear perfume, can still vaguely smell the smell of scum

While I love you, I will try my best to Protect you.

Sometimes your anger does not mean you care, but also distrust.

What is superfluous: a cotton-padded jacket in summer, a fan in winter, and your attentiveness after I feel cold.

The gray-white sky is not a sign of rain, but the tranquility of a clear sky.

I only hope that in the next life, you will be a tree, and I will be the vine wrapped around you. The vine will wrap around the tree, lingering around you.

You can give your smile to anyone, but your heart can only be given to one person.

Eat what I want, lose weight, and also want to lose weight. You can’t have the two. Yes, I'm off.

If you don't love me, then kick me away. Because I can't bear to leave you

There is a kind of power called simplicity, which is so powerful that no one can destroy the purity of the heart.

Remember, in this season, the only ones that will never leave you are mosquitoes

Why doesn’t my gray avatar beat anymore!

After the breakup, You think of me as a sacrifice, I think of you as dead, it's over

It's not just the talent, but also the fat around the waist

If the teacher hadn't said not to litter, otherwise Russia threw you out a long time ago

Don't ask me where I come from, my hometown is the morgue

I'm not the kind of person who can be dismissed with just a few blows of kisses. Do you have the ability? Come here, dear

Everyone has done obscene things; when you are playing on the computer, your parents go to the computer and always switch to the desktop to refresh

Even if your happiness is not It belongs to me, but I still love you

I know I am amazing. Needless to say, just give me some applause

The day I fell in love with you was not because of how good you were but because of the sunshine that day. I happened to be very full

The highest level of eating at a buffet is actually: carry it in and carry it out.

You don’t understand the feeling of missing you, missing you, loving you so much that your heart aches to the point of suffocation

Your waist-length hair must have many split ends.

There are two things in the world that can climb on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.

Is it too easy for you to get my sincerity, so you must waste it.

The more people I meet, the more I like animals.

We live in the gutter, but we still have the right to look up at the stars.

Remember the person who hurt me, one day I will smile and watch him cry.

For the sake of stupidity, I won’t say anything about you "美文网"

The reason why I can’t get into your heart is because you have let others live in it.

If falling in love means falling in love, isn’t it a hooliganism?

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of China’s family planning work this year, I have decided not to have contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation. Complete collection of funny signatures

1. Mosquito, when will you evolve to stop sucking blood and start sucking fat?

2. Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly, so I take out my ID card and Look, I found that I was worrying too much

3. I am not afraid of opponents who are like gods, but I am afraid of teammates who are like rogue rabbits

4. If my leaving can bring you a smile, then you Let’s cry

5. The school doesn’t want us to fall in love but wants us to wear couple costumes

6. The beauties in high school are very innocent, but the hair on their legs is too long

7. The most unforgettable thing for me is the memory of the past, not you who broke my heart

8. If you leave, don’t come back. I am not a rag collector

9 , Don’t say never to me, I won’t live to that point

10. I originally planned to be a lady, but in the end, life forced me to become a shrew

11. There once was a girl If you are willing to die for me and be with you, I would rather die

12. Who said shorties are not good? If you have the ability, don’t lower your head and talk to me

13. I advise you Don't go for plastic surgery, it is more reliable to reincarnate as soon as possible

14. My wife is a harbor, my lover is an inn, and my lady is a gas station on the Long March

15. Come back soon, I am alone Can’t be fooled

16. Without you, I have fallen into disgrace

17. Love is just an item of faith in life

18 , Thank you for not caring, you know that I am just being sentimental

19. I don’t need glib words, simple and unpretentious words can conquer you

20. I am lonely in my life, the only one The only thing that depends on each other for life is this head. If you want to take it away, I'm afraid it won't be that easy.

21. If life is just like the first meeting, there is no need to be sentimental about separation. Say goodbye, maybe we will never meet again

22. The so-called strength is just your indifferent stubbornness

23. Learning is a lamp, hard work is oil, if you want to light a lamp, I have to work hard

24. Half of my life is unlucky, and the other half is dealing with unlucky things

25. You don’t know how to cherish until it’s too late

26. Beauties are everywhere, but no one can replace my wife

27. Love is like a vase, it will break when someone messes with it

28. I am as stubborn as I am. How strong

29. Men, please don’t hurt the woman who loves you deeply

30. Women should be domineering and say: I am a man, who should I be afraid of?

31. All information is being updated, please do not contact us in order to terminate the update

32. Time bites people, otherwise how could we be scarred

33. Too There are too many reasons why, I remain silent and don’t explain

34. It’s noon on the day of hoeing. It’s really hard to study. I took a small old book and sat there all morning

35. Memory , I really want to use you as a tissue and throw it away after wiping it

36. Alas, it’s time to rely on perseverance to get up and courage to take a shower

37. Don’t be surprised by coquettishness The world is moved by lasciviousness

38. Those who cannot lose weight will always be in turmoil, and those who cannot gain weight will always have no fear

39. People who love to eat are all good people. Because they desperately pursue delicious food and have no time to harm others

40. The night gave me black eyes, but I use them to roll my eyes. Complete collection of funny signatures

1. Women use stockings Conquer men. Men use stockings to conquer banks.

2. Don’t show off your IQ of 1.25 cents.

3. I play too much on the computer and want to fast forward when watching TV.

4. Mom said there is no regret medicine in the world, only rat poison.

5. A day is actually very short. It passes as soon as the computer is turned on and off.

6. Being a foodie is carefree, being a crazy person is worry-free.

7. Who said that all crows in the country are generally black? In fact, one is darker than the other!

8. You are too dark, I am embarrassed to call you an idiot.

9. Hitting is for kissing, scolding is for loving, if you don’t love enough, just kick!

10. I want to live until the finale of Xinwen Network.

11. I am too lazy to even change the person in my heart!

12. As the saying goes, if you freeze something three feet deep, it cannot be thawed without a microwave oven!

13. If two people are together for a long time, staring at each other is also romantic.

14. There must be a road in front of the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road.

15. The injury at the end depends on how itchy your skin is.

16. I use my life to write articles, but future generations use it to assign homework.

17. The whole city is in love while we have a blackout.

18. When I suddenly looked back, the head teacher was standing silently at the window door.

19. If you don’t want to think about it in the morning, just get dressed under the quilt and squint for a while.

20. I wish that when I received the red envelope, I would open it and it would say another one.

21. You should also follow Tencent’s example and call me “honey” as soon as Tencent comes online.

22. The simplest secret of longevity is to keep breathing and don’t stop breathing.

23. I never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

24. People who don’t dare to show their affection in public are usually because they don’t like to have a spare tire.

25. What is love in the world? The sage replied: Waste!

26. The world has its own way of heaven, then let the way of heaven take care of you!

27. Even if life is a tragedy, we must make high-quality blue and white porcelain.

28. I want to be a person who knows the law, understands the law, and then breaks the law.

29. Black people don’t eat chocolate because they are afraid of biting their hands.

30. The examination room is like a battlefield. Either you die or I die.

31. Pretending to be stupid, if done well, can make you wise as a fool. Being dull, if done well, is called deepness.

32. On every successful man’s computer desktop, there is always an icon called Kuaibo

33. How cute would the mosquito be if it stopped sucking blood and switched to liposuction? Little creature

34. No matter how awesome the female guests are, you can only put out one man's lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the entire floor.

35. Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why would you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

36. Women are not omnipotent, but no woman is omnipotent.

37. Look at the moon in the sky, it’s so round. By the way, you have myopia, so you can see in the water.

38. The saddest thing in the world is that you finish your homework very late and the teacher doesn’t check it tomorrow!

39. The top students are studying hard problems, the top students are studying homework, and the bad students are studying updates.

40. As soon as the school bell rang, a large group of children rushed out of the classroom like the wind.

41. Life is like angry birds. When you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.

42. You have to know that the second character for heart is a polyphonic character, the fourth tone is pronounced as well as the first tone.

43. Since I fell in love, my waist no longer hurts, my head no longer hurts, and my heart stops beating.

44. Zhuge Liang did not lead any troops before he left the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

45. Of the billions of people in the world, I only hate you. I have to say, this is also a kind of fate!

46. You are a good person and a bad person. You are honest with me just to run towards her.

47. Tomorrow comes tomorrow. There are so many tomorrows. Since there are so many, you might as well put it off any longer.

48. Mr. Bao, why is there a moon on your forehead? It’s because I don’t understand darkness during the day.

49. Happiness is when you wake up every morning and look at your watch, and you can still sleep for another half hour.

50. The teacher said not to litter, otherwise I would have thrown you out.

51. Happiness is that although I didn’t listen in class, I found that no one who listened understood it.

52. Eating is what I want, and losing weight is what I want. I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.

53. Be a hooligan with temperament, a pervert with class, and an illiterate with knowledge!

54. The world belongs to us and our sons, but ultimately it belongs to the grandchildren.

55. I want to lose weight, and I want roasted chicken. I can’t have both, so I give up both and choose roasted suckling pig.

56. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will doze off in the afternoon. I said: Confucius is right.

57. It would be nice if you could be a little ugly and vulgar, so that others would not like you, and neither would I

58. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. , I see you. The mood is more tangled than visiting the grave.

59. There are only two things I can’t do in my life: I can’t do this; I can’t do that.

60. I was bitten by a dog, and I was bitten because of you; because you were someone else’s mistress.

61. People cannot take money into the grave, but money can take people into the grave.

62. In fact, I have long wanted to get rid of my habit of swearing, but the funny people around me always make me unable to help myself!

63. Once I find a math question that I can’t solve, I skip it. I find that I can’t stop at this point.

64. There are two things in the world that can lean on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the head teacher.

65. I have been wondering what the first person who discovered that milk is drinkable did to cows!

66. Your toilet detergent and Fuyanjie can actually be used interchangeably, and the practical effects will be the same.

67. Looking at a temple from a distance, looking at our alma mater from a closer look, there are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

68. My sister is sitting on the bow of the boat, my brother is in rough water, swim fast, swim fast, the shark is on the back.

69. I'm not stupid, just a little stupid; I'm not lazy, I just don't like to move; that's all. .

70. When you see big trees turning into homework books, can you still bear to do your homework?

71. Buddha said that as long as you have a lesson in your mind, you will not skip the lesson wherever you go. I had an epiphany.

72. Look at your appearance, you look like you are joking!

73. What should you do if someone scolds you for not being good enough? : You have species, you have many species, colorful species, but unfortunately they are hybrids.

74. When you find that you have more friends around you, it means that you have something to use.

75. Most people who love to eat are not bad people. They desperately pursue delicious food and have no time to harm others.

76. The way the policeman expresses his love: I have been paying attention to you for a long time, please come with me.

77. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I have been running around naked for more than ten years.

78. They say that we are the flowers of the motherland. Why is it that I am the only one who is injured?

79. I am a very principled person. In the final analysis, my principles of life are only three words, it depends on my mood.

80. I don’t like to pretend, I don’t like to hide, I don’t like to flatter, I don’t like me, I don’t stop, I don’t ask, I don’t disturb.

81. Superman always wears briefs to fly because the triangle has stability.

82. Why can’t I understand your heart after watching it for so long? Because I am short-sighted.

83. Do you believe that there is always a girl who comes to this world just to torture you?

84. When God gives us youth, he also gives us acne.

85. Being low-key doesn’t mean I don’t shine, and being kind doesn’t mean I am weak.

86. The comparison of the anti-freeze issues between northerners and southerners can be summarized as follows: southerners have higher anti-freeze character attributes, while northerners have higher anti-freeze equipment levels.

87. Nowadays, Tencent simply eats too much soap. When reposting, it still shows what phone it is. This makes us poor people embarrassed!

88. It is said that eating fish makes you smart, but I have eaten so much fish and I am not smart. Just, just, just a little fatter.

89. The teacher said: Recently, some students always say they are stressed. Why? The students thought to themselves: It’s not because of you, teacher. QQ Quotations Signature The fork in the road that separates is not just life.

1. Liking someone is the beginning of being a bitch.

2. If you see the shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you!

3. There is a little secret in my heart, do you want to know? Let the wind tell you quietly, I like you, I really like you.

4. There is only so much warmth in my life, and I gave it all to you, but you left me, and you asked me how to smile at others again.

5. Never tell your husband that I hate you, otherwise, he will be happy.

6. I have spent my whole youth, but I can’t get out of the long rainy season. I chant all the way, look back all the way, remembering endlessly, and shed tears. I fell into a deep sleep, waiting for the morning light of the next life to gently wake me up. In this life, can you allow me to let the dust settle, and return my true heart to be like the moon, as gentle as jade, just like the fullness when we first met?

7. Sometimes, you don’t love some people when they love you, but you still miss them when they are gone.

8. It is often said that in a moment, the beauty will grow old easily, and the beauty will fade away easily. Experiencing a love is like experiencing a snowstorm. It is as beautiful when it comes, but it is deeply painful when it leaves. cold. Maybe you think I'm lonely, but you can't think that I'm lonely. Loneliness means that my soul has no support, but loneliness really means that I have no emotional support. At the crossroads of life. I am never lonely because I have love and you in my heart.

9. Slowly, we will all grow old, and in this world, the most intense thing is love, the most unforgettable thing is kindness, and the most lasting thing is family affection. Two people are together because of love, stay together because of kindness, and are inseparable because of family affection. So, don't always hold on to love. Think about what is left after love is over. The one who stays with you till the end is your lover, but even more so, your brothers and sisters.

10. You are like the sweetest lover. What I hope to hear is not how you love me too, but your promise to always be by my side, which makes me feel the happiest. It is you who have always been there. I consider you my sweetest love and I know you will never leave.

11. Living in a different place will be very difficult these past few years. Sometimes it is difficult to even think about quarreling. Because our lives no longer intersect, we can’t even find a reason to quarrel. Even if we quarrel, we would still wonder if we are estranged? Every word we say and everything we do must be cautious, lest we end our relationship. This kind of life is very tiring. Apart from missing, we only have ourselves.

12. Life is like that gorgeous battlefield. With you fighting side by side with me, I will never be alone in my life. I will die without regrets! Blind deception, solicitation, and temptation are not my style. I am a responsible man. It will be my lifelong honor to truly protect you and protect your safety.

13. You are so good that I don’t even want you to go back to someone else’s home.

14. All things follow the heart, and the world returns to the heart. Once the mind changes, all thoughts will change. If the mind becomes clear, all roads will open.

15. A life of ups and downs, wandering around, who is on the other side, laughing foolishly in the world of mortals, but the flowers bloom, and I am intoxicated with love, and I will never forget it.

16. Your partner is not the person who swears not to marry you or not marry you when you get married, but the person who finds you have many shortcomings and still chooses you; your partner is not the person who is with you after dark. The person who walks into the restaurant hand in hand is the person who is waiting at the door, waiting for you to come back and have dinner.

17. If one day, someone who can't come back disappears, and someone who can't live without leaves, it doesn't matter. Time will bring the most right person to you. Before that, all you have to do is take good care of yourself.

18. Some truths can only be understood at an appropriate age. Confusion makes our lives as dull and boring as water but is everywhere. Over time, it seeps out and forms a sea. And only you can ferry yourself to the other side. So, keep your eyes open and don’t let confusion confuse you. Only when there is a shore in the heart can there be a ferry, a ship, and a tomorrow.

19. Another name for love is humility. In the world of emotions, there always seems to be a strong side and a weak side. However, being weak does not mean not caring or being cowardly. It is just because you want to retain this love, and it is just because you love the other person deeply, so you are humble.

20. I don’t believe in everlasting love, because I don’t know how long it lasts? I don't believe in forever because I can't calculate how long it will be. But I really believe that there is true love in the world. When two loving hearts are connected together, our love will exist with heaven and earth, and grow old with life. We will hold hands until we grow old, never leave, and live happily ever after. It turns out that this kind of love lasts a lifetime.

21. When two people are together, it is more about accepting each other than changing each other. This is tolerance. If you only think about change, it is not life, it is war. Putting pen to paper and dying, who will live a glorious life in whose life, and who will extinguish the fireworks of love? I don’t know what fate is, and I don’t know how to cherish it. I just know blindly that if you love, it will last a lifetime, if you love, it will last forever, and if you love, you will never leave.

22. When things are going well, it is better to be quiet; when things are going badly, it is better to be patient; when things are urgent, it is better to slow down; when things are big, it is better to be calm.

23. Good love makes us love the world more, instead of just loving each other; good love makes life bloom more boldly, instead of being trapped in a narrow love; Love will not consume our vitality, but make us live more vigorously; good love allows us to experience not the good of love, but the good of life; good love can allow us to go to the end peacefully In that place called more than love.

24. If I had never met you, if I had never fallen in love with you, if I had not believed in you at the beginning, maybe I would not be who I am now.

25. The fork in the road that separates is not just life. When youth is over, the fragments accidentally left behind will hurt more than just the heart. Missing her to no avail, finally overwhelming me.

26. If he plans to be with you for a long time, then caring and caring for him should be natural and subconscious, because your future is his future, and loving you is equal to loving himself. If he doesn't have this intention, then no matter how much he pretends to be, he won't be able to cover everything, and you won't be able to force it even if you try your best.

27. If you hold on to some people or things, it is you who will be embarrassed and hurt. Why bother!

28. Only talk three times in your life. Just fall in love, once you are ignorant, once you work hard, and once you live your life.

29. The speed at which a person responds to you is directly proportional to the degree to which he cares about you.

Thirty. If I could, I would spend every minute and every second of my life with you, but now all I can do is think about you every minute and every second!

31. In front of life is endless aging. We fall straight into it and have no choice.

And that person, never to be seen again, the teeth he showed when he smiled, the slow tone of his voice when he spoke, the lightness with which he jumped over the pool, everything you see in your eyes, hide in your heart, in preparation for finding the way back when you recall it. , this has nothing to do with you.

32. Those romantic, chic, intoxicating sweet words, those unknown trivialities of life, even if it is an extremely easy thing, for me, I have to weigh it carefully, and I have more in my heart. There is only reason: what should be done, do; what should be rejected, reject. Rejecting others is smarter than being too strong-willed. I need a real life.

Thirty-three, the parting between you and me is not about you leaving and me leaving. It's not that you were left in tears and so was I. You gradually left, and I cried silently. I have not forgotten what you said to me, and I have not forgotten our vows, but you quietly forgot everything.