1. What's the joke?

Look, you got me pregnant [that's a fool who didn't laugh] There was a farmer who went to town for the first time to see a doctor.

I went early and hung up on number one. The nurse shouted, "No! Yao Hao! Yao Hao! " The farmer didn't know if he was called, so he didn't agree. When the nurse saw that no one agreed, she called No.2 and went in.

The farmer waited for a long time and didn't call him, so he was anxious and went to the nurse. The nurse said, "What's your number?" The farmer said, "I am number one!" " "Why didn't you promise when I called you just now?" "When did you call me?" "Yao number is number one."

Yao is one, and one is Yao. The farmers understand. Just go in and see a doctor.

The doctor asked, "What's wrong with you?" The farmer replied, "It hurts." The doctor didn't understand: "A pain?" The farmer said, "It's just a backache."

The doctor was angry: "A backache means a backache. Why is it a pain?" The farmer said, "Your nurse said that one is one (waist) and (waist) is one." The doctor chuckled and wrote him a note, saying, "Go and have a stool test and a urine test."

after ten minutes, the farmer came back with shit hanging from his mouth. "Doctor, the urine is barely swallowed, and the stool can't be swallowed!" The doctor is in distress situation. Explain to the farmers that it is "inspection" rather than "swallowing"! The farmer understood and went out with a urine bottle.

I swallowed my urine just now, and I managed to squeeze out half a bottle this time. Just out of the toilet door, I accidentally bumped into a pregnant woman and spilled my urine.

The farmer was in a hurry and said, "What shall we do?" The pregnant woman said, "Don't panic, I have it here!" " I went to the toilet to pee a bottle myself and gave it to the farmer. The farmer took it to test, and then took the test sheet to the doctor. The doctor is also a careless man. He looked at the test sheet and said to the farmer, "Nothing, you are pregnant."

After listening to this, the farmer took the test sheet and went home. When I got home, I slapped my wife twice and said angrily, "I said I was up there. You have to be up there. Look, you got me pregnant, didn't you?" . 2. Is there a complete translation of individual words in Cantonese?

How about I (I), you (you), he (we), you (you), they (people) (here)? ? Degree (there) and margin (where) (here)? ? (That) How (this way, that way) explain (why) how (next time) how (what) how many (how many) sides (which) how good (so good) ABBA (dad) Old woman) Uncle (uncle) Old bean (father) Old mother (mother) Elder sister (elder sister) Big brother (elder brother) Small guy (younger brother) Heart hug (daughter-in-law) Uncle (uncle) Grandson (grandson) Zaizai (son) Daughter (daughter) Qiye (michel platini) Qizai (godson) Widowed guy. Lao Shu (old thing, Old guy) Old aunt (old maid) Old guy (gay guy) Old guy (boss) Cheater (liar) Later baby (young guy) Later daughter (young girl) Handsome guy (beautiful guy) Handsome girl (beautiful girl) Small road (child) Fine mosquito boy (child) Shame shrimp (baby) Messenger (hatchet man) Rework in communication (go to work) call it a day (get off work) 8 h (make a living) Labor (pay) Grain (pay) Get it right (get it right) Make a bend (mess it up) Get it right (smoothly) Stay up late (stay up late) Flight attendant (plane waitress) Hourly worker (hourly worker) Press worker (looking for a job) Grasp the car (drive the car) be familiar with it (expert) be familiar with it (experienced) be familiar with the car shirt (sew clothes) hold hands and feet (work together) hold the head and tail (pick up odds and ends) be desperate (desperately) be tired (make mistakes) hit the board (hit a nail) be loose (slip away) be away (slip away) be fried. Unfamiliar) Friends (old friends) Hatred (enemy) Asking for big feet (flattering) Danger ngei1 (begging) Making a face (giving face) (Ken) Being free (free) Geometry (infrequent) Coherence (It doesn't matter) Not feeling (not paying attention) Nothing to say () Fence (next door) (lovers break up) Good clip (hit it off) Explore (visit) Laugh (joke) Shame on home (shameful life, things get up (get up) Wear (remove) wave mouth (gargle) Fly hair (haircut) Hair perm (perm) Wash face (wash face) \ ? (Dishes for dinner) nem4 (soft) Nights (supper) Drinking (thirst) Desk (sofa) Refrigerator (refrigerator) Furniture (furniture) Leather bag gib1 (suitcase) Jiawan (safe) Knife (knife) Flower bottle (1 shower head, used for bathing, 2 watering cans, Used for watering flowers) Shell (spoon)) Broom (broom), spoon (small spoon), coat (coat), shirt (clothes), T-shirt (knitted or cotton coat), pants (trousers), shoes (shoes), undershirt (underwear) and underpants (* *), high-heeled shoes (high heels) Plant Elephant (Elephant) Piglet (Piglet) Dog Male (Male Dog) Dog (Bitch) Door Dog (Watchdog) Chicken Male (Male Chicken) Chicken Male (Hen) Wet Waterfowl (1 drowning chicken 2 describes people getting wet by rain) Bird (bird) Bird (bird) Brother (starling) Black fly (fly) shrimp hair (shrimp) mandarin fish (grass carp) mosquito salamander (small mosquito) shrinking turtle (1 shrinking turtle 2 metaphor for people with drooping heads or people who are afraid of things) orange (orange) bamboo (bamboo) fruit (fruit) plantain (banana) horseshoe (water chestnut) ) garlic (garlic) and rice (rice) chestnut rice (corn) carambola (pentagram) orange (orange) human body, Disease head shell (head) scalp (dandruff) face bead mound (face) dimple (dimple) climb down (chin) eye (eye) eyebrow (eyebrow) eye nucleus (eyeball) ear wax (earwax) big teeth (molar teeth) nose elder brother (nose) nose elder brother hole (nostril) body ) hand (palm) hand melon (arm) foot (foot, Leg) Back (back) Tail keel (coccyx) Belly (small belly) Doctor (seeing a doctor) Refueling bone (connecting bone) Connecting needle (sewing needle) Burying mouth (closing mouth) Holding medicine (grasping medicine) Drying fire (getting angry) It's good to turn over (good) Well, it's cold (uncomfortable). High (hypertension) sunburn (gaunt) sick cat (sick ghost) raw radish (chilblain) heat rash (prickly heat) mark (itch) thread (nerve disorder) hair sheep hanging (croissant) blind guy (blind man) flinging skin (peeling) damage (broken) Hong Kong foot. Dizzy) action, behavior Yue Gaotou (look up) twist his head (shake his head) and geb6 (stare) squint at méi1, bury his eyes (close his eyes) and sip (sigh, kiss). 3. Read the following classical Chinese, and complete the following exercises (6 points, 3 points for each small question). Bao Zheng, the word Xiren

Small question 1:C small question 2:C small question 3: ① Packed in a box, the prince carefully sent it out in the court and sent envoys to tell the king.

(2) A temporary door has been opened in Xiongzhou City. Is it to lure people from our country to spy on frontier intelligence? I didn't have much talent and served as a court official. The reason why I asked the emperor to establish a prince in advance was for the long-term consideration of the country. Your majesty asked me who I wanted to be a prince, which was a suspicion.

Question 1: Test analysis: When answering questions, you should put the real words back into the original text for understanding. In this question, "knowing Jianchang County" means "being the magistrate of Jianchang County". It can be seen that "knowing" means "being the magistrate of a county".

Question 2: Analysis of test questions: A. Both "numbers" mean "repeatedly"; B. both "zhi" are syllable auxiliary words, which have no practical significance. C the former "yi" is the preposition "because", and the latter "yi" is the meaning of the conjunction "lai".

D. Both "legacies" mean "gifts". Question 3: Analysis of test questions: First of all, this question should find out the key words (important substantive words and function words) or sentence patterns for translation, which is generally literal translation, except for some figurative words, and then translate them as a whole, and according to the norms of modern Chinese, the words can reach the sentence order.

in this question, we should pay attention to "letter, box", "stab, spy" and "no talent, no talent". Bao Zheng was born in Hefei, Luzhou.

at first, he was admitted as a scholar, and was appointed as the magistrate of Jianchang County. Bao Zheng resigned from his post because his parents were old.

When he got the post of supervisor and state tax, and his parents didn't want him to leave, Bao Zheng resigned from his post and went home to support the elderly. A few years later, his parents died one after another, and Bao Zheng built a drafting lodge next to his parents' graves. Until the mourning period expired, he still hesitated and could not bear to leave, and his fellow villagers came to comfort and encourage him many times.

It was a long time before Bao Zheng accepted the assignment and became the magistrate of Tianchang County. A thief cut off the tongue of a cow, and the owner of the cow came to appeal.

Bao Zheng said, "Just go home and kill the cow and sell it." Before long, someone came to accuse someone of killing the cattle without permission. Bao Zheng said, "Why did you sue others for cutting their tongues?" The thief was surprised and admired.

moved to Duanzhou Zhizhou and promoted to Dianzhong Cheng. This place in Duanzhou produces inkstones, and his predecessor, Zhizhou, arbitrarily collected dozens of times more inkstones to give them to the dignitaries under the guise of tribute.

Bao Zheng ordered craftsmen to make them only according to the number of the imperial court. A year passed, and he didn't take an inkstone home.

Bao Zheng was sent to Khitan, and Khitan asked the ceremony officer to say to Bao Zheng, "Xiongzhou City has just opened a side door. Is it to lure Chinese rebels to spy on frontier intelligence?" Bao Zheng said: "Zhuozhou City has also opened a toilet door. Why do you need to open a toilet door to spy on border information?" The man was speechless. The Khitan gathered troops near the border, and the border counties gradually became tense. The court ordered Bao Zheng to dispatch rations to Hebei.

Bao Zheng said: "The land in Zhanghe area is fertile, but the people can't cultivate it. There are 15, hectares of private land in Xing, Ming and Zhao States, all of which are used for herding horses, so we request that all of them be cultivated by the people." The court granted his request.

The salt law of Xiezhou often caused a burden to the people. Bao Zheng went to manage and requested the imperial court to conduct all trade. Bao Zheng was appointed as Tianzhangge, a court for waiting for the system and knowing and remonstrating.

I have repeatedly discussed and reprimanded the favored ministers, and asked the imperial court to abolish all improper favors such as granting official positions. He also listed three poems written by Wei Zhi in the Tang Dynasty, hoping that the emperor would take them as a motto and reference.

Bao Zheng was resolute in the imperial court, and his nobles and eunuchs restrained him. People who heard of Bao Zheng were afraid of him. People compare Bao Zheng's smile to the clear water of the Yellow River, and children and women also know his name, calling him "waiting for the system".

the capital said that he said, "If you can't reach the joints, you will have a terrible life." According to the previous system, anyone who complains may not go directly to the official court.

Bao Zheng opened the main entrance of the government, so that the accusers could directly present their rights and wrongs before him, and the petty officials were afraid to cheat the officers. North Korean officials and powerful families built private garden pavilions and occupied Huimin River, thus blocking the river. As the capital flooded, Bao Zheng destroyed all those garden pavilions.

When someone falsely reports the number of their fields with land certificates, Bao Zheng strictly tests them and impeaches those who practise fraud. He was promoted to the position of doctor of advice, and the right of suggestion and history.

The last play said, "The Prince has been vacant for a long time, and everyone in the world is worried. Your Majesty has been hesitant for a long time. Why?" Injong said, "Who do you want to make a prince?" Bao Zheng said: "I have no talent and hold a court position. The reason why I asked the emperor to establish a prince in advance is for the long-term consideration of the country. Your majesty asked me who I wanted to be a prince, which was a suspicion.

I am seventy years old and have no son. I am not a person seeking benefits. " The emperor said happily, "I will think about it slowly."

Bao Zheng is strict and upright, and he is very disgusted with the harsh style of officials. He is committed to a sincere and tolerant government. Although he hates evil, there is no one who does not pursue government affairs with loyalty and forgiveness. Don't go along with others at will, don't pretend to please others, there is no private correspondence at ordinary times, and the news of relatives and old friends is cut off.

Although the official position is very high, eating, dressing and daily necessities are the same as when you are a civilian. He once said: "future generations who are officials and have committed corruption are not allowed to set foot in their homes and are not allowed to be buried in the tomb after death."

If you don't follow my ambition, you won't be my descendants. " . 4. The content of popular science tabloid

can be divided into several sections: the first part of the publication, the story of scientists; 2. How much safety knowledge is known; 3. Scientific knowledge contest (1); 4. Interesting scientific phenomena; 5. Science in life; 6. Popular Science Special Edition: If marine and marine life need specific content, I can help you provide it.

hope