1. In life, have you heard about writing humorous examples?

The art of making people laugh, its main expression is humor.

The essence of humor is to be interesting, ridiculous and meaningful. Humor is the crystallization of human wisdom and an advanced emotional and aesthetic activity. Any mediocre value orientation and rigid way of thinking have nothing to do with humor.

In real life, we can often see that the two parties are arguing fiercely, at war with each other, and at a stalemate. Often, one or two humorous words from a third party can make the two parties laugh and let go. , turning conflicts into jade and silk. In a lifeless and monotonous situation, someone's humorous talk and laughter often break the silence and activate people's tired and numb nerves, thereby creating a lively, healthy and interesting atmosphere.

Therefore, in a sense, humor is a mediator that resolves human conflicts, a stimulant that activates and enriches human life, and is an elegant spiritual activity and a beautiful way of behavior. The sixty-eight humorous stories selected here reflect the social life and human conditions of ancient Chinese society from multiple angles, especially since the Middle Ages.

These jokes are either fantasy, substance, revelation, criticism, praise, satire, ridicule, or explanation. They are varied and colorful, bringing people into an ancient and realistic charm. world, thereby obtaining the greatest spiritual and emotional satisfaction. Stealing Meat A certain person went to the capital to sell meat. He stopped to relieve himself in front of a toilet on the roadside and hung the meat outside.

Seeing this, Person B hurriedly stole the meat. Before he could go far, A had already walked out of the toilet, grabbed B, and asked B if he saw someone taking his meat from the toilet.

Fearing that A would see through, Person B had already held the meat in his mouth, and said impatiently: "You are such a fool! How could you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you are like me, put the meat If you hold it in your mouth, how can it be lost?" - Handan Chun of Wei Dynasty, "Xiao Lin" Name Game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was very eloquent, especially good at word games. Before he was crowned king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, the minister.

Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said: "Your name is 'Zhicai', what's the point? In my opinion, it's better to call it 'Wucai'." After hearing this, Xu Zhicai couldn't help but laugh at Xu Zhicai's name. Angry and not angry, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word '王', with the word '王' added to the left, becomes 'sheep'." "

After hearing this, Wang Yuanjing was speechless and extremely embarrassed. Another time, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present.

During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname: "The character 'Xu' means Weiruren ("Wei" plus "彳" and "Ru")." Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuanming's surname. Surname - "Lu" (traditional "Lu") character: "The character 'Lu', An'ah Yinzhen gave birth to a boy to become 'Lu' ()', and paired with 'horse' (horse) to become 'donkey' ( Donkey)."

What he said made Lu Yuanming blush and speechless, and everyone in the audience burst into laughter. ——The old title of "Qi Yan Lu" by Hou Bai of the Sui Dynasty: Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty, and often guessed riddles with people. Hou Bai first made three chapters of rules for everyone: "The things to be guessed must first be able to The real thing you see; 2. You can't make false explanations to confuse people; 3. If you don't see the thing after explaining it, you should be punished."

Then he first revealed the riddle: "The back is the same as the house. Big, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar on the back of the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup." Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed it correctly. They all said: "Where in the world can the mouth be as big as a cup and the back as big as a house. There must be no such thing, you must make a bet with all of us." After Hou Bai made the bet with everyone, he explained: "This is a swallow's nest." Everyone suddenly laughed.

Another time, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for fun.

The things you guess must be neither weird nor difficult to recognize, nor abstract and unrealistic.

Hou Bai responded and said: "There is something as big as a dog and its face is very much like a cow.

What is this?" Everyone kept guessing. Some said it was a deer, some said it was a deer. But they were all rejected by everyone. Then let Hou Bai tell the answer.

Hou Bai laughed loudly and said: "This is a calf." - Old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" He Zhizhang begged for Tianbao in the early years of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. He Zhizhang, the well-known secretary supervisor , wrote to the imperial court, wishing to retire and become an official and return to his hometown of Wuzhong.

Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated him differently from others. Before leaving, He Zhizhang couldn't help crying when he said goodbye to Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty.

Tang Xuanzong asked him what else he wanted. Zhizhang said: "I know that Zhang has a dog that has not yet been named. If your majesty gives it a name, it will be an honor for me to return home."

Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao, and those who are good are also trustworthy. The son of Qing It is appropriate to name him Fu."

Zhizhang thanked him for his appointment. After a long time, Zhizhang realized something and thought to himself: "The emperor is making fun of me too much.

I am from Wu, and the word 'Fu' is the word 'Zhao' plus the word 'Zi' . He named my son 'Fu', doesn't he call my son Paw?" - Gao Yi, Song Dynasty, "Living in Groups" I don't know what poems are like. Ai Zi likes to write poems.

One day, Ai Zi wandered between Qi and Wei and stayed at a hotel. At night, he heard someone talking in the neighboring house: "One song."

After a while, he said: "Another song." Ai Zi was confused, felt no sleepiness at all, and had no sleep all night.

Lying until dawn, *** heard the man in the next door say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the neighbor's house must be a poet. He was concentrating on reciting poems in the quiet moonlit night. He felt respected in his heart, and he loved the man's quick thinking, so he decided to get acquainted with him.

Early in the morning, Ai Zi got out of bed, put on her clothes, straightened her crown and belt, and stood at the door to greet her. After a while, a man who looked like a vendor walked out of the neighboring house. He was thin and looked sick.

Ai Zi felt very disappointed and thought: With this dignity, how can he look like a poet? Perhaps, people cannot be judged by their appearance or make blind guesses. Then he stepped forward and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems. Can you let me read them as a student?"

The man said, "I am a businessman and I have never known what poetry is." Stuff." He always refused to come up with poems.

Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'One' in the house, and then saying 'One' again after a while. Isn't that a poem?" The man listened and said no. Jue couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn't find toilet paper at night, so I wiped it with my hands.

I had diarrhea all night and soiled my hands almost six or seven times. The 'hand' I mentioned was not the 'first' of the poem."

Ai Zi was ashamed after hearing this. --old. 2. Humorous phrases that can be used as composition material

[Humorous phrases that can be used as composition material] Humorous phrases that can be used as composition material Author: Jiangshan is still a humorous phrase that can be used as composition material 1. Red beans do not grow in the South, It’s on my face, I really miss you! 2. I dreamed of eating pasta and woke up in the morning to find that my shoelaces were gone! 4. Only when you hold the hand of the child will you know that the child is ugly, and your face will burst into tears. If the child does not leave, I will leave. It can be used as humorous language for composition.

5. I can’t bear to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday and walked around. I think I’d better continue eating porridge. 6. Whenever I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

7. Although the green mountains are left, there is still no firewood. 8. Pure, fictitious, chaotic, beautiful.

9. Happiness means scratching an itch when you feel itchy. Unlucky means being itchy but not being able to scratch it. What’s even more unfortunate is that for a long time, neither the soul nor the body can feel the itch that’s about to itch. 10. Although I cannot be the descendant of a rich man, I must be the ancestor of a rich man.

11. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still torture my mind and strain my muscles and bones. 12. Who holds my hand and restrains my madness for half my life; who kisses my eyes and covers my wandering for half my life.

13. I looked for her thousands of times in the crowd, but when I looked back, that person still looked down upon me.

14. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten.

15. What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters. 16. Could it be that you are the dung ball rolled by the cockroach Xiaoqiang who was crushed by the little novice monk Wangcai and his imbecile pet dog Wangcai, who was the only one in the world in swordsmanship and martial arts at Huashan and was the only one in the world who was known as a pear blossom weighing a begonia? 17. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

18. Advertisements on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements on taxis: Traffic jam? Take the subway! 19. I received a text message on my mobile phone: There was a monkey in the zoo that was so ugly that everyone vomited. One day I went there and I vomited. One day you went there and the monkey vomited. 20. They say that money is a sin, but they are all trying to get it; they say that beauty is a disaster, but they all want it; they say that it is too cold to be at high places, and they are all trying to climb; they say that smoking and drinking are harmful to the body, but they don't quit; they say that heaven is the most beautiful, but they don't go to it! 21. Strongly protest against the insertion of TV series during commercial breaks! 22. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you to your whole family, thank you to the eighteen generations of our ancestors.

(Have you ever seen someone thank someone like this?) 23. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil! 24.Sorry! I'm already dead! But thanks for coming to see me! I will also visit you at 12 o'clock tonight! 25. I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim. 26. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

27. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to be lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? --Stop thinking blindly and study hard! 28. A fool stole a beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute roared, which frightened the deaf man. The hunchback stepped forward, and the lame man kicked up. The wanted criminal wanted to take him to the police station. Mazi said, look. Forget about my face. 29. Loneliness is a person’s carnival, carnival is a group of people’s loneliness. 30. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

31. Lei Feng did not leave a name for his good deeds, but he recorded everything in his diary. 32. Lovers are the road, friends are trees. There is only one road in life, and there are many trees on the road. Don’t get lost when you are rich, lean on the tree when you are short of money, don’t forget the road when you are happy, water the tree when you are resting.

33. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless. 34. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me? ! 35. I’m not a fortune teller on the bridge, and I can’t tell you as many things as you want to hear.

36. When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I turned myself into a highly educated gangster. 37. My principle is: I won’t offend anyone unless they offend me; if someone offends me, I will get angry! 38. I gradually discovered that talents are fairies! Some goblins eat humans, but humans will eat anything. If you catch a goblin, you might be able to barbecue it! 39. Time is too thin and the gaps between fingers are too wide.

40. In fact, you and I are the same. Everyone is pretending. The key is to pretend to be the same and round. There is a threshold. Once you are done pretending, step forward and become the legendary temperament person. , it was not installed properly, so it was stuck there. It's Carmen.

41. Geography teacher: What would happen to our world if the earth stopped rotating? Little B: Even if the earth stops spinning, we will still continue to revolve around the Party Central Committee with *** as the center. 42. Little girls all want to find a white horse in their dreams, but when they open their eyes, they find that the world is full of gray. The donkey who passed away in autumn was so sad that he could only choose a strong donkey from the herd. Such a donkey was named: an affordable man. 43. I once looked up at the stars with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was because of a broken love, and I was because I sprained my neck. Composition material "Humorous quotes that can be used as composition material".

44. I want to cry, I want to make trouble, stay up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, and a small rope to hang myself. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and the world is filled with love.

45. Love is a luxury product. Just like the fox fur coat in the Paris window, it is so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will make people sober.

Love is also a luxury product, you can only look at it from a distance, don’t imagine or touch it because it requires the right time, the right person meeting at the right place, both are indispensable. 46. ??I am a passerby that you turn around and forget about, why should I accompany you to the end of the world in wasting time? 47. Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, some people praised my left nostril for being idol-like.

48. Bus jogging is a comprehensive exercise that integrates various sports and fitness projects such as Sanda, yoga, judo, and balance beam. 49. Spring is the season when colds and emotions are most common.

Some people accidentally catch a cold, and some people accidentally fall in love. I belong to the former. 50. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained... and I drowned.

51. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood. 52. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

53. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten! 55. Money can buy a house but not a home, it can buy a marriage but not love, it can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone! 56. Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will coax them away with a piece of cake.

57. When I was young. 3. Asking for a humorous story

Xiaoling was sleeping on the table.

Xiao Ai left the book beside him and went out. Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's seat.

Xiao Ai (comes in): Oh, man, this is really baffling. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see, I’ve already taken this seat! Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, and Mao is Mao. In fact, I got it earlier than you! Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning, why didn’t I see you? Xiao Wu: I took it last night. Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, scratched my head, and my blood was flowing. I couldn’t lose this position! Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. The Feng Shui here is unique.

If you want to drive me away from here (Xiao Ai: - How?) I advise you to knock me down as soon as possible! Xiaoling woke up: What's the fuss about? Quarreling in such a sacred classroom early in the morning is a waste of youth! Do you know what mistakes you made? ah? Xiao Ai: I know. Xiao Wu: Let’s stop arguing.

Xiaoling: The most unforgivable thing about you is that you woke me up! Xiao Ai sat in front of Xiao Ling. Xiao Ai: Last but not least, let’s promote our style.

Brother, follow my lead in the exam! Xiao Wu: Huh? Is there an exam today? Xiaoling: Can you? My hands are numb today! Xiao Ai: Are you scared? Xiao Wu: Are you sleeping? Xiaoling: None of them are right! Tired of fighting grass! Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent most of the night lighting the lamp and burning oil! Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard? Xiaoling: Do you also play grass? Xiao Ai: Oh no, I’m thinking about exam strategies! Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling came closer: What do you think of? Xiao Ai laughed wildly: Let me tell you, this trick is amazing! Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: Come on! Xiao Ai: Copy according to the book - (picks up the book) Xiao Ling: Go to hell! Xiao Wu: That’s a good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Hey, in order to relieve the tense atmosphere, I will give you a humorous puzzle.

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her. Xiaoling: Tell me, how many steps are there to answer the exam? Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu came closer: How many steps? Xiaoling: Three steps! Step one: write your name.

(Both nod) Step 2: Read the question again! (Both nod) Step 3: - Hand over the rolling paper! Xiao Ai: Hand in blank! Xiao Wu: What's wrong? Xiaoling: Let me ask you another question: There is an exam today, who didn’t come? Xiao Ai: Who can’t come to the exam today? Xiaoling? Xiaoling: I'm not here! Xiao Ai: Look around, Xiao Wu? Xiao Wu: Here! Xiao Ai: Ah! I know—Xiao Ai! Xiao Wu: You are here for nothing! There is no difference between coming or not coming! Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not here yet! The teacher walks in. The three of them were startled: Are you coming? Why did you come even though you said you couldn’t come? oops! (noisy) Teacher: What is it called? The toad has come in? The three of them laughed.

Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? --Fraction! Minute by minute, your lifeblood! (Evil smile) Test, test, test, our magic weapon! Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, copy, our trick! Teacher: Hand out rolling papers quickly! Don’t come early even if you have an exam, what time is it already! I didn’t come until half an hour after the exam started! What have you been doing? Curly hair. Teacher: The exam time is *** two hours! No papers are allowed to be handed in for less than one hour! Students who want to answer the paper please pick up the pen, and students who do not want to answer the paper please rest where they are.

Students who want to go to the toilet - please restrain yourself! Xiao Ai: Let me compare the teacher to someone else. He is like a mouse looking for a cat to be an escort - his request is unreasonable! Xiaoling: That’s right! Could it be that he is a legendary rapper, otherwise why would he keep mumbling? Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than trees! Do you know what a serious mistake you have made? Heavier than the sea of ??salt! Three people started copying. Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) This student, please stop copying! Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: I didn’t copy it! The teacher walked up to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying! Xiao Ai: How do you know? I put it on the table and copied it! Teacher: The board in front of your desk fell off, I saw it! Xiao Ai: (looked at it) Oops! What bad luck! The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's rolling paper, and Xiao Ai was about to stand up and leave.

Teacher: Sit down! You are not allowed to go out for less than an hour! The teacher walked to Xiao Wu, and Xiao Wu took the roll of paper to the table and copied it. Teacher: Okay, okay, stop pretending! I look down the most on those of you who cheat with books, you have no technical content at all.

How did you copy it just now? so? so? Xiao Wu: Lower it, lower it! Teacher: (Confiscating Xiao Wu’s paper) Sit down and think about it, why did you cheat with the book? Xiao Wu: I don’t want to take the book either! Why didn't I do a good job like her (Xiaoling)? Xiaoling looked at Xiaowu with wide eyes. Teacher: That’s right, remember to hit the grass next time! I just like this kind of hard-working children.

Teacher: It’s time! carry out an assignment. Put away the roll paper.

Teacher: OK. Remember to take the high school math test in the afternoon! (Part 2) Xiao Ai: Ah! Are you taking the high school math test in the afternoon? Xiaoling: Ah! ! High school math test in the afternoon! (Picks up the grass) What did you test just now? Xiao Wu: High... number? ! What tree is that? Three people: Let’s study how to kill grass! The teacher walks in (each teacher can be played by one person in costume).

Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher! Teacher: Xiao Ai, how do you write a composition? (Give the roll of paper to Xiao Ai) Xiao Ai: What's wrong? Teacher: Read it. Xiao Ai: "My Teacher", my teacher has an oval face... Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign with claws written on it) Do you have an oval face? What you wrote is that my teacher has a clawed face! Xiao Ai: Teacher, the paw face is also a face, can’t we just look at it? Teacher: You continue reading.

Xiao Ai: My teacher is so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful... Teacher: Stop! Why do you write so much about how beautiful it is? That’s how I wrote it until the end! Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn’t it required that the composition should be no less than 500 words? Teacher: Then you are only *** pretty? Xiao Ai: Isn’t it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings! Teacher: Hum hum, tell you, you only have 496 words! Xiao Ai: Oh! Then I’d like to add: It’s so beautiful! Teacher: Look at your ancient Chinese translation. How did you translate "died by touching a locust tree"? Xiao Ai: Hang yourself in an old locust tree! Teacher: Why is it an old locust tree? Look, when you explain words and death, you actually write about death! Xiao Ai: Oh, I wanted to write about death! Teacher: (with a helpless look) You, you failed again! Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I've retaken it five times! Teacher: Okay, I'll give you a chance. 4. Short humorous story

No one is writing ink. A son from a rich family went to take an exam. His father took the exam beforehand and his score was very good. He thought he would definitely be admitted. Unexpectedly, his son's name was not on the list.

My father rushed to the county magistrate for comment. The county magistrate brought the scroll to check, and saw a faint layer of gray fog on it, but no words could be seen.

As soon as his father came home, he scolded him: "How come your exam paper is written in such a way that no one can read it clearly?" The son cried: "No one in the exam room polished the ink for me, so I had to use a pen to write it. Dip the inkstone in water and write." The old lady was chanting Buddha. There was an old lady holding counting beads in her hand. While chanting Amitabha, Amitabha, she shouted: "Er Han, Er Han, there are too many ants in the pot, I hate dying. Come on, take the fire and burn them to death for me."

Then he chanted: "Amitabha, Amitabha." Then he shouted: "Er Han, Er Han, put the food under the pot for me." Remove some ashes from the fire. Don't use your own dustpan, because it will burn out. Just ask your neighbor to borrow a dustpan.

Remember, remember. "Amitabha, Amitabha" is not a vegetarian monk who visits other people's homes.

When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked, "Master, do you drink?" The monk smiled and said, "Drink a little wine, but I never eat vegetarian food." The complaint said: "The villain lost a hoe tomorrow, please investigate."

The county magistrate asked: "You slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow, why didn't I report it yesterday?" After hearing this, I couldn't help laughing. The county magistrate immediately concluded the case and said: "You must be the one who stole the hoe! What did you steal it for?" The clerk replied: "I want to get rid of that idiot with a hoe."

The old man was worried that there was an old man who had both wealth and honor. , a house full of descendants. On his 100th birthday, the house was crowded with birthday guests, but the old man was very unhappy.

Everyone asked him: "You are so lucky, why are you worried?" The old man replied: "I am not worried about anything. I am just worried about how many more people will come to congratulate me on my 200th birthday." Hundreds and thousands of dollars, how can I remember them all?" He was playing with his son outside the door while trying to get a bargain. The neighbor joked: "The blood of father and son is really the same. Just look at your son and you will know. The face is exactly the same as mine." The man holding the child said, "Yes, you and the child were born from the same woman, so how could your face be different?" He was so heartbroken. Two villains had malignant sores on their backs and asked a doctor to treat them.

The doctor looked at one and then the second, pretending to be horrified and said: "His heart is worse and can be cured, but your heart is so bad and rotten that you call me How can I be cured well? "Sparrow Treats One day, the sparrow treated the birds to wine. It said to the kingfisher: "You are wearing such bright and bright clothes, so naturally please sit on the table."

Then it said to the eagle: "Although you are bigger, you are wearing dark and ugly clothes." , I have no choice but to sit down at the bottom of the table." The Eagle replied, "Why are you such a snobbish slave?" The Sparrow replied, "Who in the world doesn't know that I, the Sparrow, have a small heart and shallow eyes?

"

Animals bully the poor. Someone asked a beggar: "Why do dogs bite you when they see you? The beggar replied: "If I have good clothes and hats, the animals will respect me." "Emperor's Clothes" A beggar came back from the capital and boasted to others that he had seen the emperor.

Others asked him: "What clothes does the emperor wear?" Answer: "Wearing a hat carved from white jade and a robe made of gold." " Question: "How can you bow when you are wearing a gold robe? After hearing this, the beggar spat at him and said, "Haha, you really don't understand the world!" Now that you are the emperor, who should you bow to? "Afraid of drowning in wine, the customer comes into the store to buy wine. After drinking a glass of wine, he says the word "dun" and keeps talking.

Others asked: "I think you drank too much wine. Are you afraid of diarrhea? Are you going to squat in the hair pit? The man pointed at the wine glass and said, "No, I just want a ridge so that I can climb up and not drown in the thin water." " Signboard Drawing Knife The hotel owner asked someone to write the store's sign. After the person finished writing, he drew a knife on it.

The boss asked in surprise: "What does drawing a knife mean? He replied: "I want to use this knife to kill the water in the wine!" " A hotel that flattened a gourd had a rule: any guest who came to buy or drink wine and said the wine was sour would be punished by being tied to a wooden post. One day, a Taoist priest came into the store carrying a big gourd and saw The man tied to the wooden pillar asked what was the reason.

The boss replied: "He lied about my wine being sour, so I punished him." The Taoist priest said, "Please give me a cup and let me have a taste." "

When the shopkeeper served the wine, the Taoist priest only took one bite and ran away in a hurry. The boss was very happy because he didn't say the wine was sour, and hurriedly greeted him: "You forgot the gourd." "

The Taoist priest said as he ran away: "I don't want it, I don't want it anymore. You can keep it and flatten it as a sign of jealousy. "A banner. A family in Huizhou has been fighting lawsuits with others year after year, and they are full of resentment and boredom.

On New Year's Eve, the father and son discussed: "Next year, we must say something auspicious for the New Year. If you say this, you will be blessed with good luck in the coming year and avoid lawsuits. The sons said, "Dad, please tell me first."

The father said: "This year is a good one." The eldest son continued: "There is little bad luck." "

The younger son also said: "No lawsuit. "They asked someone to write a banner with three sentences and 11 characters, and posted it in the nave, asking family members to recite it aloud from time to time to seek good luck.

Early in the morning on the first day of the new year, the son-in-law came to pay New Year's greetings. When he looked up and saw the banner in the hall, he read aloud: "This year is very unlucky, and there will be few lawsuits. "The father and son stamped their feet anxiously and said repeatedly: "Unlucky, unlucky! "A group of friends were sitting together, and suddenly someone farted. I didn't know who it was. Everyone suspected someone and started to blame him.

In fact, the person didn't fart, and he didn't argue. He just laughed. Laugh. Everyone asked: “What’s so funny? He replied: "The one who laughed at the fart also followed everyone and scolded me." "

"Pay off" every year. A man borrowed 6 taels of silver from someone, and agreed that the interest would be 5 cents for one or two months. At the end of the year, the interest would be 3 taels and 6 cents. One year has passed. When the loan arrived, the borrower asked the creditor to repay 4 taels in exchange for an IOU of 10 taels. The creditor agreed.

At the end of the second year, based on 10 taels, the interest should be 6 taels, but the person could not. He asked for another 4 taels in exchange for an IOU of 20 taels, and the creditor agreed again. At the end of the third year, the amount of 20 taels with interest and principal was calculated as 32 taels. He couldn't pay it back, so he asked. He asked for 8 taels in exchange for an IOU of 40 taels.

The creditor hesitated, and the borrower got angry and said, "You are so heartless!" No matter what year you borrow your principal and interest, it doesn’t count. 5. Funny examples of my classmates’ compositions

There is a classmate sitting in front of me. He has a chubby figure and a mouth that never stops. He often makes us laugh. As long as he hears something He naturally made many humorous remarks from this topic.

His name is "resounding" in our class, because when he introduced himself in our class, he was the first classmate to rush to the podium. Although his voice was not very loud, we could clearly hear his name. Wang Leifeng. Although the study is not the best, his humor can make us relax and happy in the boring study. When he was distributing books, he accidentally picked up a rope binding the books, and turned back to us with a smile: "Let me tell you, if any of you feel impatient one day, I will I will be very enthusiastic to lend you this rope! No! If you really need it, I can give it to you. I hope we can have a happy cooperation!" What he said almost made us laugh. There is a TV series called "Iron" Teeth Bronze Teeth Ji Xiaolan"! Here, we can call him "Wang Leifeng, the sharp-toothed one", which is the most appropriate name for him.

Today, during the break, Wang Leifeng got interested in talking about him as the group leader again, and said funnyly: "Am I not the leader of our group? So? Well, I am the "pig leader" now, and you are all piglets, and I am the feeder and the one who manages you! If a piglet is disobedient, I will use the pig method! Whipping, two, if you don’t learn well, let’s adopt a scoring system. If you get 5 points at a time, you will have to do it for real. “Everyone laughed after hearing his words. One classmate said: "It depends on whether you can be a good "Pig Leader". As soon as he finished speaking, the school bell rang. The "Pig Leader" said: "Goodbye, little pigs. "Last time, pig growth!" "Although these ten minutes are short, they are full of laughter and laughter. It's so unpleasant! It doesn't make people feel boring anymore. 6. Who can give me some humorous stories?

Teacher: When writing articles, pay attention to observation , Du Fu watched Sun Erniang dance and learned a lot from him

Student: It’s a pity that Sun Erniang is dead, where can I watch it?

"Wo Chun" "I'm Stupid"

Dark plum blossoms and quiet flowers, I am uneducated

My IQ is very low when I lie on the branches and feel sad

When I smell the flowers in the distance, I seem to ask who I am

It is easy to reach the spring green, a big stupid donkey

The bank is like green, I am a donkey

The bank is like transparent green, I am a donkey

The bank is like transparent. Dark green, I'm a stupid donkey

A Scotsman went to London and wanted to visit an old friend, but he forgot his address, so he sent a telegram to his father: "Do you know Thomas address? Quick report

On the same day, he received an urgent call back: "I know."

Three people went to New York for vacation. They booked a suite on the 45th floor of a high-rise hotel.

One night, the elevator in the building broke down, and the attendant arranged for them to spend the night in the lobby. Three Gorges Blog

After discussion, they decided to walk back to the room and agreed to take turns telling jokes, singing and telling stories to reduce the fatigue of climbing the stairs.

The jokes were told and the songs were sung. After finally climbing to the 34th floor, everyone felt exhausted.

"Okay, Peter, tell me a humorous story.

Peter said: "The story is not long, but it is extremely sad: I forgot the key to my room in the hall. . "

·The monk said to the waitress in the monk restaurant: The lady is so beautiful! The lady was unhappy: How could the monk say this? The monk asked: If you are a vegetarian, you can't read recipes with non-vegetarian food?

·My wife is a big tree, we must hug it; my lover is a grass, we must protect it. We can build a big tree, plant a piece of grass, enjoy the shade under the big tree, and walk with birds on the grass. This will lead to a harmonious society and a green environment. , Such a wonderful life.

·The get out of class time has come, and the professor is still giving lectures in a leisurely manner. A boy is in urgent need of urination and shouts: I want to urinate! After hearing this, the teacher was furious: How could you be so shameless and openly ask for a girl in class?

Confucius said: Fighting with bricks and shining a light on one's face is not suitable for chaos; since this is the case, how can one be alone? It is not a joy to have friends and work together, to exert one's strength. It doesn't matter anymore, it means going to death; it doesn't matter whether it is death or not.

·Professors talk more and make money everywhere, and become more and more like businessmen; businessmen appear on the forum, write books and talk, and become more and more like professors. Doctors are more and more like killers when they do nothing to save people's lives. Killers are more and more like doctors when they act swiftly and leave no consequences. Celebrities show off their sex, and they are more and more like celebrities when they are given money; their sex is charming and clearly marked with prices, and they are more and more like stars. The police are tyrannical, bullying the weak and afraid of the strong, and are becoming more and more like gangsters; the gangsters dominate each other's side and dare to do what they do, and are becoming more and more like the police. Rumors are well-founded, basically true, and become more and more like news; news is based on random exaggerations, and becomes more and more like rumors. ”