In July last year, I experienced an unforgettable online love for two and a half months.

It is unforgettable because this love has satisfied all the fantasies of an older young woman in literature and art. The other person is independent, talkative, humorous, gentle and considerate, loves sports, fitness, food, travel and small animals, and has a clear plan for her work, life and future development ... All these make me an independent woman who has always been cautious and boasts intelligence step by step.

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The story starts with a chat software.

Tandem is a software that can chat with foreigners directly. There are two kinds of free and paid members, and the members are all over the world. Like most chat software in China, you can see their gender, age and country of origin on the home page, with photos of their lives and simple personal introduction. The difference is that this software will also see the languages they know, their proficiency and the languages they want to learn. It is a good choice for people who want to improve their foreign language level by chatting with foreigners and making friends. It was on this platform that I met Leighton Wang, whose Chinese name is Li Wang, hereinafter referred to as Li.

From the head portrait of Li, his facial features are more like those of Southeast Asia. Two photos of his life are hip-hop dresses, both wearing sunglasses and earrings, which look fashionable. He is 35 years old, and his location is in Britain. He knows English and wants to learn Mandarin and Cantonese.

At first, Li didn't attract my attention. When I first registered, I just chose a few online people from English-speaking countries to say hello, and several of them replied with simple conversations. At that time, I chatted with Li, feeling that he was polite and casual, but Li disappeared for a few days, and suddenly replied to my message one day, and apologized to me that I was a little busy in recent days, and asked me if I could add wechat. I was not surprised that there are a large number of groups using WeChat all over the world, and left him my micro-signal.

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Two days later at noon, it was a Saturday, and I received Li Jia Friend Request. Unlike other foreigners, Li will tell me something about his current situation, such as what he is doing now, what he is going to do in the future, and ask me about my next arrangements. We will chat about our lives as friends at will, and he will also correct some grammatical mistakes in my English, and encourage me to use Chinese if I have difficulties in expressing myself in English, which makes people feel quite intimate and warm.

During the chat, Li introduced some basic information about him. Li was born in Beijing and his parents were from China. After his father died at the age of 6, he went to England with his mother, and now he lives in Leicester, England-more than 2 hours' drive from London (my own Baidu). So he can read and write Chinese, but he can't speak it well. He is a contractor of building materials, and will undertake some outsourcing projects of the government, sometimes in foreign countries, such as India and Turkey. He loves fitness and goes to the gym for 3 hours every weekend. He has a little black dog named coca. His house has a big yard, which is full of all kinds of flowers, which was raised by her mother before her death. His mother has been dead for 6 years.

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Looking through the chat records with him later, I found that my online love with him can be divided into several stages, which made me fall into his scam a little unsuspecting.

First, the period of friendship lasts for one week

We mainly talk about our life, work and hobbies, and gradually form a tacit understanding of chatting in the morning, afternoon and evening. There is a 7-hour time difference between Shanghai and England. Basically, when I go to work at 8: in the morning, it is late at night in his place, and at 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon, it is morning in his place. When I rest at home at night, he is working and will take time to chat with me. We talk every day, about what we ate today, what weather we had, what troubles we had at work, and so on. Chatting with him has gradually become a habit. Like a good friend, he cares about my life and appreciates all aspects of me at the other end of the mobile phone.

2. At the beginning of boyfriend and girlfriend, after two weeks

forming a tacit understanding of chatting, Li began to ask me what kind of boys I like, the requirements for boys' height and other aspects. Asked me some emotional questions before, he said that he wanted to know more about me. Of course, he also encouraged me to ask him questions. He hoped to chat comfortably and talk about everything, and to fully express himself without hiding anything. I haven't thought much about it during this period, but I just think that people chat in English every day, and they are all light topics, which plays a great role in English written expression.

when Li asked me about my emotional experience, I didn't answer immediately, but asked him first. I learned that his ex-girlfriend was from China, who was his translator and guide when he was doing projects in Beijing. After a period of time, he developed feelings. Finally, when he was leaving Beijing, he discussed two plans with his girlfriend. One was that his girlfriend would stay in Beijing, and Li had a menstruation in Hong Kong. He would go to Hong Kong to see him and menstruation once every three months. On the other hand, when his girlfriend goes back to England with him, he will try to support his girlfriend's idea of opening her own restaurant. After a week's consideration, his girlfriend chose the latter. Li said that they had been together for three years, and they were very happy. The business of their girlfriend's restaurant was also very good. They were already saving money for a big house. As a result, when Li came back from a business trip to Turkey and bought a diamond ring of 2, pounds to propose to his girlfriend, he found that his girlfriend and his best friend slept in his house and caught the rape on the spot. Li said that he wanted to kill the man very much at that time, but he thought that he would go to prison, and later gave up. Li said that he was deeply injured and moved from the original place to Leicester in order to heal his wounds, so as not to see his ex-girlfriend again. When Li said this, I saw a picture like a movie plot in my mind. It was really sad and affectionate to think about him.

Li said that he wanted to find a girlfriend from China, and he liked people from China. Li asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend, even at such a long distance. I said some Chinese reserved and shy words at that time, but I finally agreed. In fact, I didn't really accept him in my heart. I just thought it would be more interesting to have an online love with a foreigner.

3. Mid-term of online dating-falling into a trap for 3 weeks

Li changed my title to Dear, and reported his trip and work progress to me every day. Li said that he hoped to share everything with his lover. Also ask more about my daily life, my family, colleagues, friends and so on. Li's seriousness gradually touched me and made me think that I was really with him. Maybe this is my fate? A Chinese-American boyfriend, a handsome guy who knows how to live and has his own small career, a devoted man who is the first to say hello to me every morning, say good night to me and write me English love poems. Although he is far away from Wan Li, he has always accommodated my time. Maybe I can go to live in England in the future ... In his gentle knife without blood, my heart gradually fell, and I really began to look forward to opening a picture of a better life with Li at the other end of the network.

4. Love period-2 weeks

Li slowly brought me into his life. Although it was only in language, it was assisted by pictures, small videos and voice calls, which made me have no doubt. Li said that he was talking about two projects, one in India and the other in Zznja, and asked me to help him choose. In the meantime, Li and I reported every progress of the project, from bidding, to the government interviewing all the responsible persons who won the bid, to the final project determination and many other matters. Li shared every small detail with me and asked for my opinion. Li said that I am now his family, and he hoped that I would participate in every decision he made, because it was related to our future life. I am always moved by him. Finally, I helped him choose Zznja. Li said he needed to stay there for two weeks, and then he would come to Shanghai to see me and my family after the project. All this is like a dream, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Five, the period of disillusionment-1 week

Li successfully went to Zznja, Nepal. Before going, he sent me his ticket information and took photos of him on the plane. A few days before he first arrived in Zznja, Nepal, Li also told me about the local situation, weather, food and project progress, and told me how much he missed me. We had a voice chat almost every night, Li. Just before I came to China to make all kinds of preparations for Li's upcoming project, it was also a Saturday. I was shopping with my friends in the afternoon. Li said that he was a little busy, but told me that I must take photos of the clothes I bought. He wanted to see my best appearance and everything was as usual, but that was the last message I received from him. Since that day, he has disappeared without a photo.

I'm worried and frustrated. There has been no reply to the message sent to him. Thinking that something must have happened to him, we have never lost contact for more than two months, never. I also tried to contact him by voice call, but I still tried not to respond. I spent that weekend in fear, but he still didn't hear anything from me when I went to work on Monday. My whole person was not well, and I began to think about it: something must have happened to him, such as the theft of his mobile phone and the chaos in Africa. This is very possible. But if you steal it, you can buy it again. Besides, he has my email address. He can send me an email at the Internet cafe to tell me the situation, or borrow someone else's mobile phone. Or someone had an accident? Site injury? Or a traffic accident? I have thought of ten thousand possibilities, but every time I think of possible solutions, no matter which possibility, he should try to let me know the situation at the first time, unless he is dead.

VI. Epiphany period-1 day

The more I think about it, the more worried I am, thinking that this possibility should be extremely low. When all kinds of possibilities came to my mind, suddenly an idea came to my mind: he wouldn't be a liar, would he?

I've heard from friends before that there are many online dating scammers who will keep good relationships all the time, but they will suddenly disappear, making you anxious and flustered, and there will be demands for money later, but that's in China, and he is a foreigner? I strongly deny this idea, but my fear is getting stronger and stronger. I am afraid that he is a liar, that everything with him will go up in smoke, and that a relationship that I finally started will eventually turn into a scam and a joke?

I started asking for help from Du Niang. It doesn't matter if I don't check, it scares me to death. There are many examples of China women being cheated on the Post Bar, some even being business owners, and the highest one being cheated by millions of dollars. The routine is almost the same. Through dating websites or English chat software, you will become an online couple in the pursuit of each other's extreme "truth" and "concentration". Generally, it takes 2-3 months for you to enjoy a wonderful love experience, and then suddenly disappear. The disappearance period is usually about 3 days, and then it will be a reasonable reason for the project to disappear due to financial problems, debt collection, car accidents and so on. Then the amount of money needed will come out, requiring the woman's support, even sometimes without the other party's saying it. A smart woman in the workplace who is carried away by the sweetness of love will give all her support at the first time to help him out of the predicament, because she has regarded him as a "family". However, after getting the money, this "family" will disappear, even if she calls the police, because of foreign countries and various inconvenient factors, the money cannot be recovered, and finally people will be rich.

I spent one night trying to digest the fact that on the one hand, I was extremely lost and humiliated, and after all, I became a cheated member of such transnational online dating; On the other hand, there was a voice of denial. Maybe he wasn't. He was so real and considerate. He also tried his best to plan the future of both of us. He even put on beautiful lipstick for me and worried that other male colleagues would like me. He also used my photo as his mobile phone screensaver, and added a red heart and a diamond ring to the name of the note. Just last week, he asked me the size of my finger ...

VII. Adjustment period-1 day

Although I was very reluctant to believe that I was cheated, I recalled some details, and I realized that I had met an expert. It is very likely that the other person was a recidivist at all. The female IQ under the influence of love is really easy to be .

1? The other person grew up in England, but his oral English has neither British accent nor American accent, but he has a little African accent. It is also said on the Post Bar that it is likely that you will be chatting with a Negro NiZznja with white teeth.

2、? From beginning to end, I haven't seen him in person, and I haven't seen any videos, but I have only received a small video recorded by him. The other party asked for a video with me, but when I was nervously preparing to communicate face to face with my lover in the video, the other party missed it for reasonable reasons. However, this initiative to request videos will dispel most concerns arising from online dating, which is very clever.

3、? The screenshot of the flight ticket to Zznja, Nigeria that he gave is only the booking page, not the information of his successful booking. He asked me to remind him to get up in the morning so as not to delay the plane, and attached a handsome selfie after boarding the plane, which successfully concealed the loophole that was not the ticket information itself.

4、? His overseas Chinese set up the story of his ex-girlfriend's breakup, which is more like a wonderful script for a movie.

5、? There is a big difference in hair styles between the photos he sent before and after. I asked him at that time, and he either replied that it was a new hairstyle or an old photo.

after thinking about it, there were still many doubts, but at that time, surrounded by love, everything was so natural and impeccable.

Eight, easy waiting period-1 day

As a mature woman, after several days of thinking and psychological construction, I realized that I had not lost money at least. I am also relaxed and happy in this process of being cheated. I have nothing to lose from the present and the past, except that my ideal partner no longer exists and the beautiful life in the future no longer exists. My written and spoken English has obviously improved by more than one Lever. In more than two months, I was happy. I began to work and rest regularly and exercise hard to make myself more and more beautiful, so as to meet Li, who is about to meet and spend a lifetime. Li's affirmation, encouragement and support in the process of communication with me also gave me more confidence, and my whole state was excellent. The next step is to see how Li acts.

IX. Ending period-1 day

On the fourth day after Li disappeared, he appeared. He sent me all kinds of apologies. Li said that he had a car accident, which was very serious. If his right leg was not cured, he would be amputated. His credit card could not be used locally, and the project company he cooperated with in the local area was not willing to pay him first. He is in urgent need of money for treatment now, and sent me a photo of his right leg wrapped in gauze in a hospital bed, but he didn't get a face. Li said that his mobile phone was broken, so he couldn't return my message. I asked Li to take a full-body photo or video with me. I was very