Fear and loss

Author: impeccable

The woman looks for a marriage partner, but meets a man who doesn't want to get married. The woman is smart and flattering, and the man is rich, beautiful, talented and tasteless. There is no upper limit for sex and no lower limit for character. Mengda asked in a low voice, "Are you ready? Open your legs to accommodate my invasion, bear the pain I bring you, and become my woman? " Yao Pei said softly, "Yes, I have been longing for you for a long time. I bite my teeth and can't sleep at night. Tonight I will fulfill my long-cherished wish and make my memory last forever (last update: 20 15-06-0 1).

The author's postscript

I started writing this novel when I was still on a website that was mainly for male readers. It seems that there is a certain gap with women's reading taste, so it did not perform well after uploading in Jinjiang. Can only end in a hurry. The heroine's character is more pragmatic. Lu has two major personality characteristics, one is strong and capable, and the other is easy to get confused. Due to the family changes in her adolescence, on the one hand, she longed for a stable family, on the other hand, she completely distrusted men in her marriage. This leads to her vacillation and ambiguity in choosing men and dealing with emotional problems. Essentially, Yao Pei doesn't want to get married at all. Although she shouted for a reliable husband, she actually had reservations about any man, and because she was afraid of being hurt, she chose a man who could not be entrusted for life. Wang Haoran is mercenary and has no bottom line. Mengda is not only a married woman, but also sensitive in identity. Tang Mingshun's debauchery is still a trivial matter, mainly because Tang Mingshun, like Liu, is afraid of being hurt, cautious and unwilling to pay. Zheng Bin has a low education level and is engaged in the most unsafe occupation. It is impossible for a woman who wants to stabilize her family to choose such a man. Zhang Jian is gay and has suspicious sexual function. The most suitable husband is Jiang Tao, but the hostess doesn't like him. Lu has never devoted herself wholeheartedly to any man, which is why she can quickly switch from loving this man to loving another man. Lu needs feelings to prove it, but no one can prove his feelings without going through the storm, and adults are not stupid and refuse to give their true feelings to get hurt easily, so Lu can't lock men in the first volume. Lu is afraid of marriage, so she has invested a lot in her career and devoted herself to finding her own value, because she is the most reliable. Lu Yaopei said: "People choose between future careers and marriage and love. No one will choose love, because the future belongs to them and love depends on the gifts of others. Other people's gifts are whether they are willing to give them to you or not. When they give them to you, others have the final say. Even if they give them to you, they can get them back at any time. " This passage is her deepest heart. The first volume of this novel is Metamorphosis of Pupa. As long as the content is the career growth of the female host and the love entanglement with several men, the workplace part is basically cut off. The original outline contained the marriage stories of her two female colleagues, and now there is only one outline left. The entanglements with several men are also omitted, so in the first volume, the entanglements between her and Zheng Bin are not very deep. In the initial outline, the hostess and the boyfriend Jiang Tao have more contents about marriage and love. The hostess gradually understood what kind of man she wanted, and stopped sticking to the original concept of mate selection, so she began to entangle with three men later. Among the four men: Meng Da is a married man, and her family suffered great changes in her girlhood. Psychologically, she rejects the entanglement with a married man, so although she worships Meng Da and is deeply attracted by him, she still keeps a very distant distance, maintains a loose relationship similar to a one-night stand, and tries to get rid of herself in an ambiguous relationship. Mengda complained about it many times, but the hostess ignored it. The female host's affection for Mengda began with worship and light use-good wind depends on strength; Finally, worship and gratitude-you have made my life. She never wanted to spend her life with Mengda, and even planned to spend a long time with him. Mengda saw this clearly later, so she no longer mentioned that she followed her. Tang Mingshun is the most suitable man for the hostess. Tang Mingshun is a typical intellectual, calm and rational, and his behavioral ability lags behind. However, in their dispute, Liu should bear at least half of the responsibility. There is something wrong with Tang Mingshun, but his fault is beyond Liu's control. Liu is very passive, or she has been gently excluding him and secretly rejecting him. Both of them protect themselves well and refuse to pay more, which leads to the stalemate between them and the inability to develop further. Relatively speaking, Tang Mingshun loves him deeply, so he is more painful. Tang Mingshun's biggest competitor is Mengda, and the hostess has always compared Tang Mingshun and Mengda. After all, Tang Mingshun is young and not as wise as Meng Da, so the hostess can't completely fall in love with him. Zheng Bin's personality is straightforward, sincere and chivalrous to people, without much hesitation. In the original outline, the hostess has great feelings for him, because Zheng Bin has deep feelings for the hostess, and she lacks security and needs to prove her love. Zheng Bin can prove his love with actions, so the hostess dares to give her true feelings because she trusts him. Later, because of the short space, the relationship between the two became very shallow. Zhang Jian is the most admired suitor of the hostess. Zhang Jian has everything that the hostess likes, handsome, rich, capable and energetic, especially when the hostess knows that he has no passion for her but intends to marry her, it gives him extra points. Zhang Jian pursued the mistress out of pure reason. The hostess is afraid of the change of feelings in marriage, so she agrees with purely rational marriage. She believes in the choice of marriage more than love. In the original outline, the woman worked in China for four years, and there were many time disputes with these three men, but now it has been shortened. In addition, there are many personnel changes in the bank, including Zhu Guangyu's final accounts, which have not been written since. Li Lina and Zhu Hongxia should have more space. In the first volume "The Metamorphosis of the Chrysalis", several protagonists are still in their adolescence, ending with the female host going to the United States to study for an MBA, and the female host soon married a handsome foreign guy after arriving in the United States. Tang Mingshun was heartbroken. The second volume is Rain or shine. Five years later, the hostess came back from her father's funeral. Lu accepted the position offered by Zhang Jian at the funeral and returned to run the spindle factory. Lu's emotional line: Tang Mingshun just got married, Zhang Jian and Zheng Bin have been living together, and Zheng Bin is actually bisexual and heterosexual, so there is always a sense of dissatisfaction with Zhang Jian. Zhang Jian's father is getting worse and worse, and he is worried about his son's lifestyle. He is putting pressure on Zhang Jian to get married and have children. Zheng Bin still loves her. After returning from the United States, Lu's views on sex and marriage are very different from those in the past. She has realized her personality defects and subconscious fear of marriage, so she has no plans to get married and have children. The night Liu met Zheng Bin in Random Harvest. Let Zhang Jian and Tang Mingshun very lost and jealous. In order to get married and save Zheng Bin, Zhang Jian intends to formally marry Liu. Zhang Jian has feelings for Liu, even a kind of love. Although Liu lacks feelings/desires, his feelings for Zhang Jian are more complicated. He will always be her ideal marriage partner. She has love, feelings/desires for him, but she knows that neither can be fully satisfied, so she hesitates. According to American moral logic, Lu refused to associate with married men, so Tang Mingshun wanted to divorce anyway, but it took his wife nearly five years to get him and get a marriage certificate, and she refused to divorce anyway. In the choice of marriage, Tang Mingshun is ahead of Zhang Jian, a man who can satisfy the hostess physically and mentally. Only he can end the chaotic emotional and sexual/love entanglement between the hostess Zhang and Zheng. Wang Haoran is already the director of the tax bureau where Zhang Jian is in charge of the region. He is ruthless and monopolizes power. He has a close relationship with Jie Chen and has become a political couple. Lu's return made him want to realize the unfinished dream of his youth, and he also wanted to possess her. For the sake of her future, Wang Haoran dared not corrupt, but when she gained power, she had a strong desire for money. Lu's beauty and millions of annual salary are very attractive to her. On the professional line, these men and women meet. This leads to another theme, official corruption: the beginning of the second volume does not actually start with the present funeral, but with the story of Lu, the stepfather of my parents' little sister. After graduating from Xiao Yan University, she stayed in Shanghai, got care places by marrying her brother-in-law, went to Fudan for postgraduate study, and was assigned to the court after graduation. Now she is a judge of Shanghai Intermediate People's Court. Liu's mother came to you to recognize this daughter who has been able to squeeze oil and water. The stepfather was planted by Zheng Bin and was punished for several crimes. My aunt wants to fish in troubled waters and ask for a bribe. The conflict between gangs and police, Liu Bingquan and Zheng Bin, has a long history. Jassamyn Liu's father, Liu Bingquan, is already a director in Shanghai, while Zheng Bin has become the boss of Shanghai gangsters in the past few years, and there are constant contradictions with Liu Bingquan. Liu Bingquan dealt with the gang's iron fist, did not accept bribes from the gang, but embezzled and extorted enterprises. In the gang conflict, Zheng Bin and another gang leader, Heisan, are sworn enemies. Heisan has a little leader who sells white powder. He is the stepfather who once violently attacked Lu. Zheng Bin avenged Liu's humiliation in those days, and also had a fierce conflict with Heisan's men in order to grab territory. There was a fierce battle in the shopping mall-mainly between Zhang Jian Company and the tax bureau. Want to use the power of the whole sword to compete with Liu. Chen Weiming of the bank is already the vice president of the branch. Liu Xingquan is about to retire, and Zhu Hongxia is now the youngest branch director. Li Lina has just given birth to a son and has a bad relationship with her husband. She continues to have an affair with Chen Weimin. Soon after, it was exposed that Chen Weimin was jailed, the Liu Xingquan Building was about to collapse, and then a pile of corruption was dragged out, and a group of people in the bank were jailed. Li Lina car accident, Zhu Hongxia marriage crisis. The plot of the second volume is very abusive, bullets, bleeding, disability and death. The woman has no confidence in marriage and love, and needs the man who loves her to prove it with actions and facts. Later they proved that she lost. Finally, Meng Da returned to Shanghai as the executive vice mayor and put everything down. The first half of this novel is fragrant and the second half is bloody, which caters to men's reading tastes, so it is not very popular in Jinjiang, so I will not write it for the time being. I will finish it when I have time later. The original outline is relatively thin, and the changes in feelings and thinking after cutting are not so natural. If one day I modify the text, I will add the deleted content to make the novel more fluent. Let's talk about the sexual description of the novel again: I think the sexual description of this novel I wrote is better than that of No lingering. I'm a little worried about whether I can write such a tempting composition in the future. I wish I could go up the stairs. There is masculinity/love in this novel. It's a big challenge for me. My friend once asked me to help her write down the masculinity/love in rainy days. She wrote it herself, but skipped the sex part-she's rather conservative. I told her that I couldn't write, because I couldn't imagine two men having sex, and I lacked this concept in my mind. I am very grateful to a friend of mine for giving me the details. Her boyfriend is bisexual and masculine. They have been entangled in 10 years. Her boyfriend has been suffering from sexual dysfunction, and both of them are in pain. He is playing with her favorite male star outside, and she is looking for a one-night stand. After three years of formal cohabitation, the two finally decided to enter a asexual marriage. The night her boyfriend proposed, she suddenly found that she could afford it. Her boyfriend said, "Let's try again." It worked. She was ecstatic and wrote me many details. This is the love she longed for 10 years, and it is finally complete. From her description, I know for the first time that men with homosexual tendencies like to bite their breasts/heads, which is almost insensitive to heterosexual men. Later, I found out that men with same-sex orientation have as many as 29 sexual sensitive points, which are similar to those of women, while heterosexual men have few sensitive points. The most exciting thing for heterosexual men is to directly stimulate reproduction/reproduction/organs. It took me a long time to understand what she told me about prostate. According to her complaint, I conceived the image of Zhang Jian, a combination of male and female temperament, aggressive, masculine and tender. Zhang Jian is very strong, aggressive and capable of action, but he loves Zheng Bin who is completely masculine, a person who can't be controlled by money and power. So Zhang Jian showed weakness and trapped him with tenderness. This is a tough hand. Zheng Bin values loyalty and vows, so he has to give up his favorite woman. I think the complicated relationship between love and sex among the hostess, Zhang Jian and Zheng Bin is well written. The love, jealousy and concern interwoven among three people make their relationship turn left and right for a while, and they will be biased towards this and that when choosing. A lot of uncertainty, a lot of instant passion. After the passion, there is a lot of regret and shame. Zheng Bin realized that his affection for him was not as good as that of Zhang Jian, and finally he chose Zhang Jian. Zhang Jian knows that Zheng Bin loves Liu more than himself, and Liu prefers to choose Zhang Jian. The entanglement between the three became unsolvable. I don't know what you think, is it unacceptable to men with same-sex tendencies in the text? Thank you all.