In 1' s dream, a young gypsy girl is dark and beautiful. She sings sad songs and dances, her hands are beating, and her sexy ankles are naked with a smile. I feel lighter and weaker, as if I were going to die.
In a dark world, it seems that people riding horses are going to the market, and groups of people are constantly moving.
When I met L and his father, I greeted L, and he asked me why I ignored his father. I didn't speak and left the group in a panic. Because I hate that man, the rich man with dark circles.
In addition, I also saw many acquaintances, with loose skin, sparse hair, drooping bags under the eyes and dull eyes, which were muddy black.
Along the way, I saw someone die. His relatives cried and cried. Someone bathed him, dressed him, covered him with white cloth, looked around and lamented, like the original voice of primitive people.
At that time, I was not afraid of anything, because I was just a passerby.
When I walked to the front of a family's yard, my mother and acquaintances were talking. I saw red flowers on the earth wall in the yard. They were in full bloom, like roses, but much fuller than roses. When people look at it, they mean admiration.
So I shouted outside the house, "Awa, Awa, come out quickly. I want to talk to you about something. "
At that time, there seemed to be a banquet at home. As for a happy event or a funeral, I don't understand.
Ava arrived late, with dark skin, high nose, a few naughty freckles and blinking eyes, as lively as the stars in the sky. She is a beautiful and young woman, and I even saw her towering.
I came straight to the point that I liked those flowers. Ava is very enthusiastic. She took me to see the flowers without saying a word. I hold the wall and look at the masterpieces of nature.
I don't know what kind of flower it is, but in short, it is beautiful and charming. The black leaves and thick stems set off a blood-like enchanting flower. Avala took me to other places I have been. Really, I remember she was a bride last time.
Almost as she carried me forward, I asked her, "Sister Ava, are you married?" She said "yes". The tone is decisive, but I still have a smile on my lips. The atmosphere in the air is pleasant and gloomy. I was not afraid of anything at that time, because I didn't see anything.
We almost ran and jumped on the hillside, where there were many flowers. The last time I came here in my dream, I only remembered the lush, green and full leaves of Chlorophytum, which were much better than ordinary Chlorophytum. Obviously, its vitality is very tenacious.
This time, Ava pointed to many flowers, most of which were gloomy and depressing. When I was looking at the flowers, Ava was busy picking up things scattered on the ground. She moved very fast, but most of them were strange. A pair of scissors and a piece of leftover dry steamed bread. What else have I forgotten?
Ava saw a chlorophytum turning yellow and becoming soft. Presumably, it won't live long, but Ava touches it with her hand, just like taking care of her child. After a while, Ava stuffed the chlorophytum into the soil again, as if it would not die and miraculously survive.
After doing these things, Ava and I both ran down the hill with things.
The face I saw was intimate and gentle, always smiling with a faint smile, but it had crow's feet. I know this is a real smile. She didn't elaborate on anything.
Looking at it, a sad song emerged around me. Ava was singing and dancing, calling my name loudly. I also began to laugh, carefree and happy.
But slowly, I watched Ava's clothes change from bright to dark. Finally, I got scared.
Ava's face is black and round, but now she is thin and shriveled, and her towering chest sags.
I still have a smile on my mouth, but I look very painful.
"Oh, no, Ava, stop singing, no ... Ava, stop ..."
I was hysterical, but Ava didn't even look at me.
I was scared to death and wanted to run away in a panic. I need a hug, mom's, dad's and azi's. ...
I think of my mother. Oh, my mother left. where has she gone ? "Mom, where are you? Oh, please don't leave me here alone. Come out, mom ... "
No one answered, and I kept crying.
Ava still sings and dances like a madman. Bare ankles, withered * * *, deep eyes, black and sparse long hair, dragged to the ground. The night is too deep, so scared.
I know this is a dream, but I don't want to wake up, because I long for that kind of comfort. I don't want to wake up to the bright world, where there are too many things that make me feel embarrassed, painful and forbearing.
But after the shock, the lamentation continued and Ava's dance became more grandiose. She is like a witch, and lamentation is more like a spell of death.
The ever-changing lamentations have a very lonely tone. Ava is still shouting my name. "Black graves, gentle people, blue windowsills, Yamako crying, flowers withered, Yamako, Yamako ..."
I can't stay here any longer. I'm scared, really, really. Ava smiled at me like a ghost, as if to take my soul away. I feel my body getting lighter and weaker.
In my dream, I can't even move my feet, I can only stand there and cry. Suddenly, in a flash, I opened my eyes and saw the white ceiling at home.
I'm also wearing black clothes, a black strapless vest and black slacks. I picked up my coat and ran downstairs, muttering, "I don't want to be euthanized, I don't want to be euthanized, I don't want to be euthanized, I don't want to be euthanized, I don't want to be euthanized."
I was scared myself, and Awa's elegy still echoed in my mind. Her clothes, makeup, and the last time I saw her, that withered, dying face kept flashing in my mind, just like an old movie, over and over again.
The more frightened, the more resistant, the more flashing.
I hurried downstairs and came to the warmest place in the sun. I hope the sunshine will take away the haze. I want to escape from that dream and the panic in a foreign country.
My headache is still the same, and I am still in a trance. My mind is still full of Ava's pale and beautiful face. She cried, and the tears soaked the brown tear mole on her eyelid. She was in great pain, so I squatted on the ground and muttered, "Oh, Ava, don't cry, I'll save you."
In a trance, I am in a foreign country. Old castle, rolling hills, Ava wearing a long red dress, bare ankles, long black hair dragged to the ground.
She kept spinning in the rain. The land under her feet is not red soil or black soil, but dense people, so black that they can't recognize anything except their beating hearts.
She was baptized with her head held high and proud. For the last time, one last dance, no lamentation, no accompaniment, she is not a witch, not Ava, just a dancer.
She is a dancer with her life, and her figure is enchanting and uninhibited. The long red dress stretched out into the sky, just touching the bloody sunset.
I can't tell which is Ava and which is sunset. Looking around, the old castle began to collapse, and the red phoenix flowers spread constantly, filling the whole world. The black wind sobbed on the mountain. Ava, where is she? Where did she go? Is the sun setting, or is Ava gone?
The phoenix flower in the city is her makeup. The castle is her body, full and solemn. The black river flowed from her chest to her heart, where a brand-new life was thriving.
Isn't Ava longing for eternity? She wants a young face, a fresh body, smart eyes and even a plump * * *.
Now, she got it.
The phoenix flower will never wither, it will always be beautiful. It will only bloom one after another.
The collapsed castle is her living body, and she will provide fertile soil for the phoenix flower in eternal time.
Black holy water, red blood. From her breasts to her heart, give her always smart eyes.
Ava, you have eternity. Of course, you will never cry again.
There are flowers in spring, moons in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If you have nothing to worry about, this is a good time on earth. " This mentality is similar to that of children looking forward to rainy days. However, the older you get, the fewer surprises you have in life. Just like a teenager who played happily in the rain in those years, one day decades later, he may be complaining about mud and congestion with everyone. Rainy day or rainy day, people's right and wrong are more, and the "surprise" of life is naturally less.
We always complain about the dullness of life, but never look at that heavy heart and that overloaded soul. In fact, life surprises you every day, but your heart is full of troubles, and there is no room for joy in life.
Su Dongpo lived in Huangzhou, a remote place, but turned the neglected pork into "Dongpo meat". Empty and cold food, broken reed wet stove, but from the bland "snow foam milk flowers" and "bamboo shoots of Artemisia", he realized the safety and leisure of "human taste is pure joy". No matter how life kisses him with pain, he can always find a kind of joy from his own difficulties. His life is never short of surprises. Lin Yutang said that he was a "hopeless optimist", which I deeply agree with. Of course, his life has a sigh of "the world is a big dream, and life is a few degrees cool in autumn", but more is the joy of "a snow in Dongzhu, a few degrees sunny in life". He has nothing special that can surprise life forever. The only difference is that ordinary people can always keep a happy heart when they want to cry. He is often in a state of unhappiness, but he never loses his happy heart. His heart has been bright and pure all his life, and his soul is always soft and elastic, so there is always a clear joy in his heart whenever and wherever; There is always a kind of sensitivity and lightness. I feel the happiness in pain and cherish the happiness that is as plain as rain.
What we lose is not only the surprise of "rain", but also a soft and light force. We are busy pursuing and then suffer losses. We are so busy that we forget the process of body odor. Our requirements for life are getting higher and higher, and the definition of "surprise" is becoming more and more secular and utilitarian. We have no time to look up at the stars and forget to stop and wait for our souls.
When Mr. Jiang Xun was teaching at National Taiwan Province University, he saw a couple lying on the grass and looking up at the stars before the meeting. After a long meeting, he was exhausted and found that the couple were still happy on their way back. "I was busy before the meeting. I was tired of their behavior and even felt sorry for their wasting time, but when I came back, it suddenly occurred to me that I was like this more than ten years ago. Hours of sleepiness may be a waste of life than looking up at the stars. " Mr. Wang resolutely resigned, traveled around the world, studied and estimated, and finally occupied a place in the study of Chinese studies and modern aesthetics.
The starry sky that once made you happy is still the same, but where are you now when you are ecstatic? We are addicted to material desires, and we stir the clear water into a chaotic sauce jar with greedy hands. We become snobbish and smooth, but we think it's growth. The once mellow heart has rusted, the young heart is full of calluses and famous benefits, and the surprises of life naturally have nowhere to be placed. We lost not only the simple happiness, but also the simplicity and simplicity.
"It's like a cool breeze blowing in your face." If all beings can cultivate a soft and clean heart, they can have the joy of "every family has a bright moon and every family has a breeze". When you look back, you will find that happiness is now.
Your heart is soft and clean, and your happiness will always exist.
The world of mortals is rolling, and there is a sea of people, full of too much noise and trouble. Why do you frown deeply at "it rains at home in Huangmei season", but you don't know that when you look up, it means "grass ponds are full of flowers"? Why do you not know how to listen to "the wind blows the banana and rains it" and "a hundred birds sing the spring mountain"?
The bright moon is in the sky, and flowers bloom and fall. Look, they are wandering among the flowers, singing poems in the bright moon and breeze. They are happy, they are happy, they have a normal heart and forget themselves. This is the true meaning of life.
"Three cups and two light wines", savoring life and expressing feelings, "Flowers fall and water flows", life is light, relaxed and free. The bell of fate rings gently. Are you still confused? Have you lost your way because of the troubles and pains in your journey? Why not wander around with the clouds outside the sky, watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court, and enjoy life with a carefree attitude and indifferent attitude? Open your heart, listen to the sounds of nature, feel and understand with your heart, and you will find that "climbing mountains is full of feelings, while watching the sea is full of meaning."
For a long time, when I was alone and my thoughts were flying, his floating shadows wandered into my heart, such as Chu Yang and Ruicai Thousand Lines. If water is clear, it will warm my heart. Once upon a time, you returned to Shandong, looking for quiet and luxurious drinks and selling eternal feelings; Go south to the five mountains, sleepwalk in Tianmu, and send love between mountains and rivers. Eternal pain is just a turbid wine. You are Li Bai, with a peaceful mind and bright literary light. I envy you for traveling in Qian Shan. I envy your free and easy. What I see is the radian of your mouth and your indifferent smile.
"Building a house is under human conditions, and there are no chariots and horses. "You like mountains and rivers," picking chrysanthemums under the east fence and seeing Nanshan leisurely ",you live indifferently. "Proud against the south window, judge the comfort of your knees. "You feel relaxed," board the East to relax ",and when you write a poem when it is clear," You enjoy yourself freely. This is you, smiling at life with an indifferent and ordinary heart.
Pursuing landscape and overlooking life, Su Shi wrote: "Where is the track when it rains?" A pool of ping is broken, three points in spring, two points in dust and one point in water. " Pursuing freedom and enjoying the sky, Zhuangzi made use of the meaning of heaven and earth, resisted the debate of six qi, and floated outside the dust.
Draw a boat and listen to the rain, dream a leisurely dream, live between clouds and water, hold the gentle moonlight, listen to the sounds of water and mountains with a pillow, put aside your troubles, immerse yourself in a leisurely and indifferent ordinary heart in the uninhabited Yuan Ye, watch the sunset at dusk and enjoy the colorful scenery ... Is it soon!
I used to feel sorry for it. It seems that I have surrendered to it. That's true. I used to be its servant. Loyal and afraid to resist. Now I refuse to be a servant. I want to be the master of my life. I want to be a friend of time. Just someone who has watched me for half my life. Instead of dominating my life. I am the master of my life. This is a foil. So now when I feel this way, I'm not saying it's short-lived. Said it was heartless and beautiful. It took away our ignorant years. We're not the only ones left. Our bodies. Every hair of ours grows with time and nutrition. Our thoughts. It is also free to ferment and float. Like 100 degree boiling water. It keeps rolling. It never stops.
I used to regard time as my enemy. I still do. We are like inferior soldiers in two countries. For their respective countries. Now it is shouldering the destruction of swords and guns. I hope it can surrender. I can find a way to celebrate my success at the moment it surrenders. On the other hand. I hope it will fight back. You can enjoy a life of death. I'm not afraid of larger foe. I'm afraid it will surrender. Let me be a failed winner.
This ambivalence made me start to panic. Time flies. I also grew up in a hurry. But the songs of the years are still singing. There is moonlight on the Dongla River. We are such ordinary people in the ordinary world. Their extraordinary ideas. Is burning in this land. Do you still believe in time? Are you still afraid of its power? I'm afraid of everything. I'm afraid I'm hopeless. Afraid that time will pass too fast. Let all my things have no time to comfort.
White hair three thousands of feet, sorrow as long. I just want to spend some time in the future. Hope is like blood. Under the sting of the scorching sun. The same light shines. Don't lose your appearance. What will be the ending? I am still looking forward to it. Love and hate are intertwined. The end of time. People want to live all their lives.
I just hope that time will not take away hope. Give us the strength to gallop.