Learn to use the south wind effect to compete with the north wind to see who can let passers-by take off their long coats first. The north wind tried its best not to let passers-by take off their long coats, but to make everyone wrap more tightly; The south wind went from shallow to deep, and passers-by felt very warm and gradually took off their long coats. Nanfeng didn't win anything in this game. The south wind often succeeds because it adapts to people's own needs and turns people's behavior into initiative.
This is the south wind effect in social psychology, which tells us to pay attention to the way when dealing with interpersonal relationships. For example, the purpose of the north wind and the south wind is the same, but the ways are different and the conclusions are different. This means that when we solve the relationship between men and women, we should blow the "south wind" and realize men's own needs in a warm way, and the best way is to admire men, undoubtedly men, and praise men.
Dale Carnegie once said, "Women need to be clear. Men want to be admired and affirmed by women regardless of male chauvinism. In fact, this is a reflection of their nature. " When a man has enough self-suggestion, if a woman praises him, he will deal with his feelings more actively.
Learn how to make two-way payments. Ji Shengli in the TV series "Little Sadness" is the secretary of the district party committee. He is usually very busy, of course, there will be a lack of food at home, so he feels guilty, but his wife Liu Jing has never said a word against him. It is because in her view, Ji Shengli has already suffered a lot of mental pressure because of her lack of family responsibility. If she reprimands herself again, it will make Ji Shengli even more uncomfortable. Therefore, Liu Jing chose silence. It was Liu Jing's understanding that prompted Ji Shengli to give up the career she had always cared about and share joys and sorrows with Liu Jing.
Dickens said: "Perfect feelings, respect and loyalty are not easy to express, but their voices are very high. This is modesty, forbearance and ambush, waiting and waiting. " Feelings are always paid in both directions, which is interesting. Only when you realize that you have moved your heart and then give feedback can a man be influenced by love?
Learn to create a sense of crisis When we have something, we just don't think it is valuable, but when we know that it may not belong to us, we will pay special attention. Because love never knows its height, unless it is at parting. Therefore, when dealing with feelings, don't be too active, even lose yourself and give up life because of men, which will make men feel that they have completely mastered everyone and then don't know how to cherish them.
Mr. Lin Yutang once said: "I didn't know my life until I saw the autumn clouds." Please don't be too congested, have some time. " Therefore, even if you are in love, even if you are married, you must remember that you must put yourself first in the order of life, and then you can be regarded as others.
If we want someone, we should approach him, but if we want to lose someone, we just need to approach him freely. When our emotions are uncertain about men, or when our casual mentality makes men feel a sense of crisis, then they can cherish it more because they are afraid of losing.
Learning to use the sandwich effect to criticize is actually a very easy personal behavior, especially for men with high self-esteem. Although the suggestion is ugly, it will still violate face. However, when a man makes a mistake and you don't say it, it will be easy for the other person to make it again next time, but if you say it directly, it will endanger the love between us. Therefore, it seems necessary to learn to use the sandwich effect at this time.
Sandwich effect means not directly blaming the local people first, but expressing recognition, praise or no doubt to each other first; Secondly, criticize some bad things done by the other party; In the end, there is no doubt that the other party did the right thing. In this way, it becomes a "sandwich". This method is not easy to make the accusation sharp, but it can achieve the goal of letting the other party correct the mistake, killing two birds with one stone.