1 If life deceives me, I will also cheat life.

2 There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it.

the opportunity has passed, and I regret it.

If God gives me another chance, I'd like to say to the village head: I'd like to go.

If I have to add a limit to that salary, I hope it is: 4 yuan

3 I don't often watch the legal online (I don't know who I'm hurting)

4 Life is like a piece of junk. If you throw it into the fire, you can make a fine product by beating it!

5 if you poke a noodle in that lock, a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

6 I just want to compare myself with Pan Changjiang, with Peisi Chen in hairdressing, with Pavarotti, and speak Chinese with US President Bushby! Oh, tell him to death ~

7 crosstalk pays attention to four lessons: pit, Mongolia, abduction and deception!

Mr. 8, please respect yourself! We only sell ourselves, not entertainers!

9 catching a cold and coughing these two days will not only cost you money ~

1 What are we fighting for, you big turtle?

11 I bought a bottle of mineral water and took a sip of it-fake! How is it fake? It is watered!

12 there are tricks to cut, but there are no tricks to cut.

13 You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat any more after eating four, so I said, I really can't eat, and I have to eat when I get home later.

14 thank you for your silent encouragement.

there are plenty of fragrant grass in the sea, so why not look around? The quantity is not much, and the quality is not good.

16 You can be shot for five minutes.

17 Go to the streets to recruit hooligans.

18 You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard!

19 even believe has a lie hidden in the middle!

2 it costs no electricity to speak up!

21 I never hold a grudge, but I usually report it on the spot.

22 We are going to talk while drinking water.

23 I'm sorry to make you laugh.

24 don't call me a playboy if you can't tie my heart!

25 It rained twice this week, the first three days and the second four days.

26 Once, it was hard to get a ticket for Deyun Society, and the audience lined up in order to buy tickets under the guidance of ticket sellers.

27 A hundred women asked for it, so how to decide for themselves, that is, don't post photos online, (referring to Yu Qian) Yu Guanxi!

28 bed wetting? Otherwise, people will say that I have a great wet (master) demeanor since I was a child!

29 If I hadn't beaten you, I would have turned against you ~

3 If he farted, he would have broken white shorts into chrysanthemums.

31 Just cut some meat. If you eat well, you can come back to the old lady to take the meat, and your hands are shaking and watching. It's too fat.

32 I'm driving 3 miles, which is so exciting.

33 The most touching thing my father said: Study hard, son. Dad used to play mahjong for 1 yuan, but now he plays mahjong for you.

34 Kill the panda and I will be a national treasure!

35 Sister Lin? It's face first!

36 My artist has been walking for more than a week ~ ~ ~ ~

37. He is sitting here, the dog is sitting here, and one side is tall. Anyone who comes over will wonder: Whose twin is this?

38 whose husband am I if I can't serve my country and the world!

39 your shameless appearance has the charm of my youth.

4 You put on my fur robe and sit down to be a Tibetan mastiff.

41 If you want to be a chopstick in your next life, you won't be lonely!

42 animals (people) have discerning eyes.

43 tomb-sweeping day, when it comes to tomb-sweeping day, those widows.

44 er, this student is so rare.

I, I think you are my michel platini. Come on, adoptive father, sit down, adoptive father.

45 I not only have a car, but also have my own

46 I can resist everything except temptation.

47 Only when you hold your son's hand can you know that he is ugly, and his face is full of tears.

48 The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for standing upside down.

49 Confucius said: all the good cabbages are arched by pigs

5 Do you have any chickens here? Attendant: Shh! I just

smoked at 51 o'clock, but I was lonely.

52 Kara is a dog. I wrote it. I'm going to write another one: Yu Qian is a pig.

53 when I have money, I'll buy a leader's dress. Feng Gong's classic quotations

1. It's not that if you don't laugh, the powder will fall off when you smile!

2. I'm sorry to make you laugh.

3. I can resist everything except temptation ...

4. I don't even believe in punctuation.

5. I not only have a car, but also do it by myself ...

6. I don't stay here, but I have my own place to stay. I don't leave you anywhere, and I go home to do housework.

7. People are not smart, and they are bald like others.

8. The most attractive person is Master Kong. Thousands of people are hitting on him every day.

9. Even if it is a piece of shit, there will be a day when I meet dung beetles. So you don't have to worry too much about yourself today.

1. If you want to make chopsticks, you won't be lonely!

11. Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

12. In a few decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, and all of them will be burned to ashes. There are piles of you and me, and no one knows anyone. All of them will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

13. "Love" is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from the metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from the metamorphosis.

14. Why do I always feel unhappy? Is it because I was not at home when I was in The Pursuit of Happyness?

15, the so-called beauty, three points of appearance, seven points of dress, the so-called temperament, three points of talent, seven points of pretending, the so-called gentleness, three points of tolerance and seven points of depression.

16. No matter how good Chopin of B is, I can't play the sadness of Lao Zi!

17. How can you lose weight if you are not full?

18. Don't call me a playboy if you can't tie my heart!

19. Count the stars with me. If your IQ is low, count the moon!

2. I miss you so much that I can't eat. It's disgusting!

21, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

22. I never hold grudges. Generally, when I have a grudge, I report it on the spot.

23. I admire myself so much. Self-adhesive labels sometimes kowtow to themselves when looking in the mirror!

24. If I win 1 million yuan, I will buy 3 houses and rent them to others, and collect the rent once a day. Wow, Kaka ~ ~ full!

25. Don't look for me if there's nothing, and don't look for me if there's anything!

26. I'm not RMB. How can everyone like me?

27. Kill the panda and I will be a national treasure!

28. It's lonely to light a cigarette ...

29. My father said the most touching thing: "Study hard, son. Dad used to play mahjong for 1 yuan, but now he plays mahjong for 1 yuan for your study."

3. Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

31. Comrades: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky. It's safest to make tofu! Dried tofu is hard, bean curd brain is thin, bean curd skin is thin, soybean milk is useless, and stinky tofu is stinky! Make sure you don't lose!

32, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are a stainless steel cock!

33. Keep a low profile! Is the most awesome b show off!

34. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk.

35. I like you so much that you will die if you like me?

36. Fall, get up and cry ~ ~

37. Girls! Where are so many white horses? Just find a donkey. Don't wait until one day all the donkeys are robbed, leaving a pile of mules ...

Feng Gong's classic quotations _ Feng Gong's classic lines _ so funny

1 If I were a bitch, I would have fallen in love with me.

My sister-in-law married me. She was my sister-in-law at first.

3 listen to cross talk 2, make a hullabaloo about 13 thousand, and then laugh and add money!

4 I'm the best in film and television, the best in directing, the best in directing and editing, and the funniest in comic dialogue. You have to play a comprehensive strength these days.

5 cross talk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang healthy.

6. You earn more by fighting than by fighting, don't you?

what would Mr. 7 like? Don't ask, fry this one!

8 The house we live in is riddled with holes. When it rains, it is fatal: it rains in the rainy house outside, and it rains in the rainy house outside. Sometimes the rain is too heavy, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

As soon as the door opened, two little nurses came down. The thief was beautiful, seven in one meter, with big eyes, a small cherry mouth and a narrow waist, just like a retired stewardess. Look!

1 Just when I was feeling sick, I saw my girlfriend, with her boyfriend.

11 I don't even believe in punctuation.

12 Why do I always feel unhappy? Is it because I was not at home when I was in The Pursuit of Happyness?

13 I finished my bachelor's degree, my master's degree and my doctor's degree, and you finished your doctor's degree.

14 A harmonious society stresses calmness.

15 at most, you are a naked substitute for male No.9 ...

16 I am a scientist, and I am a scientist with a way.

17 whoever doesn't know him has never eaten pork.

18 hooligans know martial arts, and no one can stop them. Scientists know martial arts at home, and hooligans can't stop it.

19 Every year, I find the buddy who looks like Zangao to pinch a noodle.

It turns out that it's been 11 years since I left.

You've stepped out of a women's football team!

2 if you want to be famous, you should publish a book first, and something will happen first!

21 congratulations, friend! Ah, can you wear it? You see, it's just different. It's much poorer than just now.

22 you don't look very white.

23 After taking a job, I can earn 3, yuan.

I took a look at the drawings and built a 4-meter chimney. When it was finished, people came to see it and beat me up. The drawings were upside down and they asked me to dig a well.

Flight 24, from Xizhimen to Zhongguancun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants have to shout when they stand there. Go, go, go. There are big seats, there are big seats.

25 The couple are not necessarily on good terms, and a good relationship is not necessarily a couple; Crosstalk masters don't necessarily speak cross talk, and singers don't necessarily know music.

26 You underestimate me, Feng Gong. I am an artist in Feng Gong, and real art is priceless. You want it as soon as you drop it, and as soon as you drop it, it depends on how much it costs, right?

after all, dancers are looking for steel pipes.

28 who are you talking about? I don't have any virtue.

I just often take part in performances (sit down) when I'm sick.

colonel, last time my father was critically ill, I didn't go home (sit down). That wasn't my real father.

Colonel, two days ago, I sent 2 yuan (sit down) to a child who was out of school. That child was my nephew.

colonel, the window glass of your house was broken two days ago, and that's what I installed (sat down). The glass is my cei's

29. There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one and have a look. Very nice! Old vinegar peanuts!

open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts!

open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar!

the fourth one, a plate of vinegar!

3 keep a low profile! Is the most awesome b show off! !

31 how long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside the toilet.

32 I stopped the woman who was walking on the road to rob. I didn't know it was a laid-off woman until I asked her. The more I talked about it, the more miserable I became. Finally, I gave her five dollars.

33 I admire myself so much that I sometimes kowtow to myself when I look in the mirror!

34 why do I often have gum in my eyes? that's my deep love for sleep.

35 if their family doesn't pick up things when they go out, they will lose them.

36 it takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I'm sweating here. You don't sweat when you look at others, but people are raising them.

37 The only difference between me and Superman is that I have underpants on.

38 this plane is also diesel.

39 Poor Lyrics Edition ... Use nunchakus quickly. Hum, hum and haw ~ ~ That's it ~ You're both dead here ~~

4 Mr. Fan's daughter is insulted by hooligans. I stood up with a basket and said, I was scared to death. I thought I was robbing eggs.

41 There is no road in the world, and there are many people walking, so it is useless to have a road.

42 We post-8s .. post-188s

43 Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk.

44 This young man looks like an actor.

45 Everything has to be looked down, and he will be very happy. If you are unemployed, there are people who have lost their virginity. Your daughter-in-law doesn't want you, and she doesn't want me.

46 has an English name, Erbaldy.

47 what's your name again? don't say it. you said it was a curse.

48 If you fall, get up and cry ~ ~

49 Would you like to be my next ex-girlfriend?

5 I've become a phoenix tree, and even the phoenix has come to me. I can't believe it. I can't get you back!

51 people are not smart, and they are bald like others.

52 Teacher, just follow the old woman!