One of the most important of all perceptions is the one you have of yourself. Of all the things you talk about all day long, the most meaningful are the things you say about yourself.

Each of us has unlimited potential, but how much of it we can realize depends on how we know ourselves and how we overcome ourselves.

Section 1: Strengthening Strengths and Weakening Weaknesses

One: Overcoming Humanity's Greatest Weakness

Anthony Robin pointed out that the greatest weakness of human beings is self-depreciation, that is to say, the selling out of oneself cheaply. This fault is shown in countless ways. For example, John saw a job in the newspaper that he liked, but he didn't act on it because he thought, "I'm afraid I'm not good enough, so why ask for trouble!" For thousands of years, many philosophers have advised us to know ourselves. However, most people interpret this as "recognizing only your negative side," and most self-assessments include too many flaws, mistakes, and incompetencies.

It's good to recognize your weaknesses and use them to improve. However, if you only recognize your negative sides, you will be in a mess and make yourself less valuable. It is important to recognize yourself correctly and comprehensively, and never to belittle yourself.

Sentence-making is like a projector that projects the activities of your mind, and the image it shows determines how you and others react to you.

For example, you say to a group of people, "Unfortunately, we failed." What image would they see? They would really see the devastation, disappointment and sadness that the word "failure" conveys. But if you say, "I believe this new program will work." They'll be energized and ready to try again.

If you say, "It's going to cost a lot of money." People see the money flowing out and not coming back. On the flip side, say, "We're making a big investment." People then see profits rolling in and a very happy picture.

Here are four ways to make the images projected by your intentional activity have a positive effect.

(a) Describe your feelings in great, positive, pleasant statements

When someone asks you, "How are you feeling today?" If you reply, "I'm tired" (or "I have a headache," "I wish it was the weekend," "I don't feel very good "), others will feel bad. You need to practice doing the following, it's simple, yet incredibly powerful. When someone asks, "How are you?" or "How are you feeling today?" , you're going to reply, "Great. Thank you. How are you?" Saying you're fastidious at every kind of moment will really make you feel fastidious, and, moreover, it will make you carry more weight and win you more friends.

(ii) Describe others in bright, quick, favorable terms

When you talk to someone about a third person, you want to praise that person with constructive words and phrases, such as, "He's such a nice person." Or, "They tell me he's doing a wonderful job." Be absolutely careful to avoid saying destructive things. This is because the third party will eventually learn of your criticism, and as a result, the words will come back to bite you.

(3) Be encouraging with positive words

Praise people whenever you can. Everyone craves praise, so make it a point to say something complimentary to your wife or husband every day. Be aware of and praise the partners you work with. Sincere praise is a tool for success; use it constantly.

(4) State your plan to others in positive terms

When people hear something like, "That's great news, we've got a great opportunity..." When people hear something like, "This is great news, we have a great opportunity..." it's natural for hope to rise in their hearts. But when they hear, "We have to do the work whether we like it or not," they get a dull, bored feeling inside, and their reaction to action suffers. Therefore, it is necessary to show people the hope of success in order to win their support. Build castles, don't dig graves. To see the future, not just the status quo.

Two You're better than you think

Do you know your own strengths? Strengths are any talents, abilities, skills, and personality traits that you can utilize, and these strengths are the elements that allow you to contribute and continue to grow. But people always think it's wrong to talk about their strengths, that it's not very humble.

In fact, denying that you have strengths in a particular area is both dehumanizing and dishonest. Affirming one's own strengths is never bragging; on the contrary, it is a sign of honesty.

What are your strengths? Do you know them? Do you know all your strengths? Can you name them? Usually, people are not too willing to talk about their strengths, they always feel that talking about their strengths seems too immodest, and they always feel that talking about their strengths is a wrong thing to do. When people ask them what their strengths are, they may say, "I don't know, but I guess I have some strengths"; but when people ask them what their weaknesses are, they are quick to list a long list. Most people have been taught the idea that it's wrong to talk about their strengths, and that it's absolutely right to talk about their weaknesses.

Hopefully you'll be really clear about what you have going for you, because to be successful you'll have to capitalize on your strengths.

For example, if someone tells you that you cook well, you might say, "No, no, actually, I don't." Or you might say, "That's not really a special talent." But cooking well is definitely a special talent.

It takes a lot to cook well: creativity, timing, and organization. Good cooking also has a very close relationship to the happiness and well-being of others.

If someone told you, "You're good on the phone." You might say - it's easy to talk on the phone, it's no big deal. But know this: there are a lot of people who find it very difficult to talk on the phone, so being good on the phone is really something to be proud of.

Of course, discovering your strengths is not easy. As a child, the psychologist Dr. Schweikel was very jealous of her cousin. She recalls, "This cousin of mine could play the piano and draw, and nobody ever said I had any talents or virtues, so I was very jealous of her accomplishments. Growing up I realized I could dance, talk well, and get along with others. I had talents of my own! In time, I began to be able to appreciate her artistic skills. Because I discovered my own strengths, I was able to admire and appreciate her talents without feelings of jealousy. So, discovering your strengths is good for you to realize your potential, so how do you tap into your strengths? We believe that in order to identify your strengths, you must first value yourself and shape your own good impression of yourself. On this form, please list five experiences that have helped you grow - you can list the events themselves or cite the people who provided you with the experience. If possible, link these good experiences to your current strengths.

Taking Dr. Schweikel's story as an example, she describes it this way: Although my parents treated their children well, my family really didn't have much money. When I was very young, I knew that the only way to get money out of my pocket was to go out and make money, so I devised a game of marbles. I found a wooden box, and if the marbles went into the holes, then I won more marbles, or else I had to buy another marble to play the game, and ten marbles were sold for a penny. This game not only made me money, but also gave great pleasure to the children who played it. So I would say that even though my family is poor, being poor has been good for me in that it has taught me how to use my creativity and how to make money.

So Dr. Schweikel describes his experience as follows: Experience - designing a marble game, Advantage - creativity, and making money.

Dr. Schweikel has participated in Dr. Schweikel's "Successful Workshop" (which helps people achieve success). "He said: "We didn't have a lot of money in our family, but my mom and I had a very close relationship, and that relationship allowed me to learn how to talk to people and how to be sensitive to their needs. One of my strengths is that I get along with most people - people like me and trust me."

J could note his experience in this way: experience - I have a close relationship with my mother, strength - I get on well with people.

F says: "I grew up in an orphanage and I was jealous of those who had homes. It was only when I became a mother myself that I solved this problem and I gave my children what I didn't have - a happy childhood. I think the orphanage experience made me a good mother." F You can write: experience - I grew up in an orphanage, advantages - I became a good mother.

M says: "I had a very good math teacher who often encouraged me. This experience taught me how to train myself and discipline myself. It was a very valuable advantage that made me not afraid to work and made me a very good manager today." M You can write: experience - I had a very good math teacher, advantage - learning how to train myself and discipline myself.

Think about your past experiences and think about the good ones. What kind of strengths did you develop from your past experiences? Sense of humor? Willpower? Ambition? Passion for learning? An optimistic outlook on life? What other strengths come to mind? There is no denying that everyone has had a bad experience, but after a few years, people often look back and realize that the bad experience was just another form of good experience. I'm sure you've been there too. This is the attitude I want to convey to you: no matter how bad the experience was, we can find the positive side of it. From poverty we can learn ways to make money; from suffering we can develop compassion; from loneliness we can exercise creativity. As long as we look at our lives with a positive attitude, we will find that no experience is in vain. Further, to be successful, we must never keep remembering the bad experiences of the past, and even though it is not easy to pick out the positive aspects of bad experiences, we must emphasize the positive in order to continue to grow.

Says S: "When I started to look at my past in a positive light, my view of myself changed in ways I didn't quite believe. For example, when I was a kid, I used to feel anxious and bored, and at home, my mom used to tell me to do this and that, and I resented doing it. However, when I forced myself to look at this experience in a positive light, I realized that this is where I developed the ability to do things and where I learned how to be responsible. Honestly, looking at my past in a positive light has made me feel very good about myself." When you can look at your past with a positive mindset, you will also be able to look at your present with a positive mindset. You must look at yourself carefully and discover what good traits you have - traits that are also part of your essence. These are the strengths that you have, and strengths are power. Your strengths can make you freer and more comfortable.

Anthony Robin said, "You cannot have anything else but your strengths. Your strengths are the ingredients and the mainstay of your success." Therefore, if you want to win in tennis, then you must be a good tennis player. Being a good tennis player is also a merit. If you want to be a famous writer, you must have the ability to write. The ability to write is also an advantage. However, if you decide to be a writer when you have never had any writing ability and have no real interest in writing, that decision is what is called a self-inflicted decision. To succeed, you must apply your true strengths.

This is borne out by the following example: G is scared to death of math and has little interest in business. Instead, she goes to work as a stockbroker, or she goes to work for a very large trading company where achievement is measured solely by how much money she can make for the company. Obviously, she's working against her original talents. She is making choices that are harmful to herself because she is neither good at business nor is she really interested in it. This is what Anthony Robin always emphasized, that the choices you make must be based on what you are really good at. If you decide to be a racehorse competitor, and you can't learn to ride a horse no matter how hard you try (and you actually really hate riding horses), you're doing yourself a disservice.

Confidence comes from discovering what you're really good at - what you're good at. As H says, "I never thought of my organizational skills as a strength. Now that I can think of that as a truly remarkable skill, I don't think I should ever again think of my organizational skills as unusual." F said, "I felt so good after I filled out the strengths form. I realized that I am much better than I thought I was. Mind you, I really have athletic genius - I'm good at all kinds of sports - that's my strengths. I feel very proud of my strengths." You can learn how to emphasize your strengths just like they did. Paying attention to what you won't do all the time will only cause you to hang your head. Please read the strengths checklist below and check off your strengths, and as for the strengths you have that the list fails to list, please write them in as well. Make sure you take a moment to fill out this sheet. Learn to see your strengths as clearly as you see your weaknesses. Design skills, mechanical ability, physical coordination, and a pleasant personality are all strengths. Don't make these qualities unimportant just because you have them.

At the bottom of the form, in the Examples column, write down one thing you have done recently that utilizes your strengths.

For example, if you cite your strength as being "witty," in the Examples column, you might write down, "Last Saturday night at the party, you told a joke that made everyone laugh." The reason we want you to write down examples is simple: the more specific and specific you can be about your strengths, the more meaningful they will be to you.

For example, let's say someone says that you are "very good at taking care of people, and I really admire, I really admire the way you entertained that new girl the other night, you smiled at her, you introduced yourself, you quickly made her happy to talk to you about herself, and you made her feel welcome". Doesn't this not only tell you that you are very good at taking care of people, but it also tells you exactly why, and doesn't that come off better? Doesn't that really make you feel like you are indeed a good caregiver? So when you're checking out your strengths, make sure you take a little time to write up examples as well. Before you make your strengths checklist, you might want to look at the examples made by others, and the person who made it, L, is a history teacher.

Experience Examples

Expressive My students and colleagues say that I bring history to life

Sensitive to other people's feelings Last week, Anne and her husband were having some problems, and I

helped her to resolve them. She thought I was very sensitive to her feelings

Smart I read the newspaper every morning, and I think I

am very familiar with what's going on in the world

Enthusiastic I've always been very enthusiastic about teaching

Now you're going to make your own strengths checklist! You're guaranteed to find out that you have more strengths than you thought.

Strengths Checklist

Emotional Strengths Examples

□Warmth

□Sensitivity

□Care for others

□Compassionate

□Ability to respond appropriately to the needs of others

□Generousness

□Philanthropy

□Boosting of others' confidence

□Understanding of others

□Thoughtfulness

□Ability to take care of others

□Consideration

□Acceptance of others

□Support of others

□Ability to forgive

□Intuitive

Intelligent Strengths Examples

□Good at Analyzing

□ Perceptive

□Intelligent

□Wise

□Responsive

□Good at grasping concepts

□Capable of deep thinking

□Logical

□Reasoning

□Comprehending

□Good memory

□ Curious in learning to say

□Verbal ability: writing

□Good reasoning skills

Aesthetic strengths Examples

□Sensitive to color

□Sensitive to design

□Imaginative

□Capable of invention

□Capable of improvisation

□Witty

□Know how to configure furniture

□Courageous

□Determined

□Honest

□Candid

□Fair

□Sense of Humor

□Motorable

□Motivating

□Captivating

□Persistant

□Natural

□Eloquent

□Have Eloquent

□Persuasive

□Open

□Elastic

□Flexible

□Interesting

□Calling

□Responsible

□Sells

□Vivacious

□Introverted

□Gentle

□Warm

□Warm

□Tidy

Examples of Physical Strengths

□Balance

□Physical Strength

□Endurance

□Coordination

□Agile

□Speed

□Spirit of Competition

□Handedness

□Good Physical Conditioning

After doing your strengths checklist, how do you feel? I hope you feel good because the more strengths you see in yourself, the more confident you feel about yourself. And every time you discover something new about yourself, it makes your sense of self even better.

As you begin to see yourself in a positive light, how can you see others in a fresh and positive light? You will naturally become more successful in your relationships with others if you can find the good in them, and that is part of your success.

Most people find it much easier to criticize others and put them down than to appreciate the good in them. But there are far more benefits to looking at someone else's strengths than there are to looking at their weaknesses, and focusing on someone else's strengths can also enable you to emphasize your own strengths more. As A said, "Once I began to be able to appreciate other people's strengths, I discovered my own." M also said, "As I began to notice the good in others, my powers of observation improved, and I now look at people differently than I used to - I'm more and more able to look at people in a positive light." Plus, the more you can find the real good in others, the more you can appreciate and accept their special abilities and temperaments.

So let's say this: trying to find out what's good about the people around you is actually a necessity. To help you do that, we've prepared four forms.

Mother's strengths: Examples

1. 1,

2. 2,

3. 3,

4. 4. 4.

5. 5.

Father's strengths: Examples

1. 1.

2. 2. 2.

3. 3. 3.

4. 4.

4.

5, 5,

Merits of husband and wife or friends: Examples

1, 1,

2, 2,

3, 3,

4, 4,

5, 5,

Merits of a child, sibling, or teacher: Examples

1, 1,

2, 2. ,

3. 3.

4. 4.

5. 5.

Starting with the people closest to you and listing the strengths of others, which you have already done, is the first step.

But it is not enough to see or feel the good in others; you must show it to them in words, that is, you must tell them all the good thoughts and feelings you have about them.

One man, after making a list of his mother's good qualities, said, "I never thought of my mother as an individual and unique person, and therefore I didn't see the good qualities that were peculiar to her. Now, I'm not like I used to be." Can you remember the last time you praised your wife (or husband)? Do you remember when you said "I love you" to your children? In any case, always try to express your good feelings, and be sure that the reaction you get as a result will make you happy, and ideally you will make it a habit. Because everyone wants to be liked, appreciated and loved. Every person looks forward to hearing others say, "I think you're marvelous!" "You know what? I really like you." Or "You're so eloquent, I admire you so much." If you like someone, you must want to make them feel good. If you like yourself, you must be willing to make yourself feel good.

So according to Anthony Robbin, you should never begrudge others praise, and you should never forget to praise yourself.

For example, if you tell your daughter that you're glad she finished her math problem on her own, you'll be able to detect how happy your words made her. But we're not asking you to be full of hypocritical compliments, we're asking you to respond to others in a positive way, to show that you genuinely appreciate them.

Remember: just as we've been conditioned (and taught) to feel uncomfortable when we hear people complimenting us, we also feel very uncomfortable when we compliment others for the same reason.

But don't let this mentality limit you. In fact, if you can find out what's good about someone else and express your sincere appreciation, then you and that person will feel happier and more joyful. We all know that it's not easy to break old habits, like in some families, verbal appreciation is never a thing, and knocking someone on the head as a form of appreciation, which just goes to show that there are times when we are all afraid to express our feelings. If your family, there is no mutual appreciation of the habit, do not be discouraged, you can still go to change the situation, a moment to change may not be possible, but as long as you are patient to practice and experiment, success will be yours.

J participated in a successful workshop, once Dr. Schweikel praised him for being very good at detecting other people's needs, and he replied, "Alas, you just don't see me at home, I'm the one who's slow!" Dr. Schweitzer told him, "That in no way means you are insensitive, for your behavior in the workshop today shows that you are keenly aware of the needs of others!" In other words, although we have shortcomings and certain limitations as human beings, that still does not take away from the good that we have.

You may be sensitive at one time and insensitive at another, however, just because you are insensitive at times does not in any way mean that you are insensitive at other times. Where in heaven's name is the person who behaves perfectly at all times, have you ever seen a perfect person? Anthony Robbin said it best, "When someone brings up your good qualities, don't say (or think), 'You don't really know me yet.' Make sure you embrace your strengths." So you must put some work into figuring out your strengths and continue to keep discovering more of them and cultivating new ones. Don't use only 1/10th of your potential; it's common to hear people say, "He's really spoiling his potential!" What about yourself? In order to become more mature yourself, you should be persistent in developing your strengths. Therefore, you should always take the opportunity to engage in a fair amount of risk-taking. For example, how can you know if you have the potential to play tennis if you are not sure that you can play tennis, but you don't even allow yourself the opportunity to go to the court, pick up a racket, and play on the ground? Of course, going to the court is quite risky - if you can play or not, when you get to the court, yes means yes and no means no. But if you don't, how can you realize that you do have the talent to play tennis? If you do realize that you have the potential to play, and you like to play tennis, then you can start practicing, and soon the potential will become your merit. You could become a tennis player, and then you'd have one more strength to add to your list.

In short, you must try to seize every opportunity to develop your potential, which will increase your merits, and build your ego on them.

Three Born to be useful

Everyone must accept his or her destiny. While talent can certainly be strengthened through education, practice and focus, innate mental and psychological limitations cannot be ignored at your peril.

Reinforcing talent is only half the battle, and the easier half to fulfill. It's actually quite difficult to determine where a particular talent lies! Athletes find out early on that they can run faster and jump higher than others, that they've been unusual almost since childhood, and that they improve even faster when they're discovered, especially under the guidance and refinement of their coaches. But most people seldom have a particularly outstanding talent, most often have multiple abilities at the same time, but none of them stand out.

No matter what line of work you decide to pursue, if you are a disappointment in your own right, or if you are personally underperforming (and be honest with yourself about this), then be brave enough to drop everything and start again!

(1) Finding Yourself

There was a boy who grew up as a student of balanced development. He was good at every subject, good at sports, but not a star player; quite creative, but not very keen to be a real artist; and when he went to college, his language scores were almost on a par with his math scores.

In his freshman year, he took all science courses and planned to major in theoretical physics. (His expectant father, a practical man, said it was fine to study physics, but the word "theoretical" had to go.)

A year later, the son realized that what moved him about physics was the abstraction -- the formulas, the ratios, the ideal concepts. So what really moved him was actually the math in physics, so he changed his major to math. (Pragmatic Dad wasn't thrilled at all... what would be the future of math? A statistician? A professor?) The father's concern didn't last long, as the son had a new idea by the third grade. He liked the orderliness of math, but he couldn't stand the coldness of it. So he decided to pursue art instead. (At this point, the ever-faithful father couldn't help but ask himself, "Where did we go wrong?") After a long time, money and time (seven full semesters), the young man finally reached his goal and became an architect, and he has never changed his ambition since, and he has done so with great success.

While his father despaired for a time that the son would never amount to anything, the fact is that the boy acted boldly and wisely, and it was not easy for him to discover his true character and talents, and then to choose a trade and follow it to the end.

Physics gave him an understanding of how objects fit together, math gave him a sense of measure and order, and art gave him an eye and deft hands.

Whenever students worry that their lives will be over if they haven't decided by age 16 whether they want to study law, or if they haven't completed the necessary credits for graduate school in business in their freshman year, they ask, "What's the point of having a career in law? If you look at the story above, these concerns are unfounded, because no one can make a decision at 16 or 17 that will set the course for their life, and even if they do, the benefits are few and the disadvantages are many.

This is a life-long endeavor to learn from the past and to realize one's potential.

(2) Small and sloppy

Hitting a great home run in life or at work -- whether it's the first special award, the launch of a popular magazine, or strategizing to complete a merger -- is an opportunity to make great use of one's talents. The opportunities to make great use of one's talents are few and far between; instead, life is full of little things that require all-out effort at all times.

What we value here is whether a simple business-related phone call can be handled cleanly and skillfully; whether an official document can be written fluently and smoothly, concisely and succinctly; and whether a social situation can be natural and unobtrusive...

These situations are all handled well, and it is only when they are handled properly that we can say that we have been able to make the best use of our time and resources. These situations are coped with freely, only then can be said to have achieved success.

Completing a big deal or accomplishing a big endeavor is not difficult, but it is the same meticulous attention to the smallest details that is the key to ultimate success.

(3) Lack of determination

Take the example of a smart and capable female editor who works for a magazine, is well versed in a variety of editing techniques, has a steady flow of ideas, has a good rapport with her staff, and knows where her readership is, and what their needs are. Unfortunately, she's always had to settle for a lower position, and several promotions have eluded her.

In this business, where winning means getting published and getting the space in the magazine that you deserve, a good editor may have to argue her case in editorial meetings, or persuade others with a mixture of hard and soft words, and sometimes even with a lot of shouting.

But this editorial lady is stuck in a rut. Perhaps it was because she didn't want to argue, perhaps it was because she didn't fully agree with the story she had been assigned, or perhaps it was because she didn't have enough confidence in her own judgment.

As a result, she did 95 percent of the work, but failed at the final stage, the doorway to potential.

Another example: a man who graduated from a top business school is handsome and charming. Ever since he was recruited to work for a major securities firm, he has appeared as a star broker. With his brand-name attire, he looks like he's worth a lot of money. Especially the attitude is modest, quite able to win the favor of others; have extraordinary education but do not want to make a big fuss, so as to avoid others can not stand.

However, in spite of all the favorable conditions, his performance is just ordinary, because he has forgotten that success is a continuous process. It's not enough to have an impressive education, a great dress code, and a great attitude, but to just go with the flow from that point on. This person feels that as long as he looks "like" a successful person, he is satisfied, and no longer has a strong desire to "be" a successful person.

At the tennis club, this is the type of person who wears a snow-white tennis outfit and plays with grace and poise. He loses six to four, but treats it as a game and doesn't give a damn.

Another example: a supervisor in his early fifties suddenly changed jobs, from the third chair in a large company to the second highest position in a small company. This man had many years of work experience, his children had all graduated from college, his mortgage was paid off, and he was on a solid financial footing. So for him, success was not primarily about money. He wanted to modernize this small, dead company and to become chairman before he retired. So he jumped in, computerized the company, pushed the quality of the staff in the sales department up a notch, and not only that, he raised money to improve the capital structure to make up for past shortcomings. The result was, of course, a dramatic improvement in the company.

He also wanted to be promoted to chairman of the board as a matter of course. Unfortunately, the company is a family business that has been in the family for several generations; the owner's nephew works for the company, and even though he's in his forties and is a mediocrity, he's a close relative of the owner, and it became clear that there was no way that this executive could become the company's manager.

The company was willing to pay a premium to keep him, but money was no longer a criterion for success. The company could