Where can I find some Taobao jokes with bright spots?

Seeing the bad comments on Taobao, I laughed until tears came out.

1 `Wild hazelnut

Bad review [details] hazelnut shells are very hard. After eating this catty, my teeth are almost falling out. In order to increase the weight and charge more postage, I also stuffed a piece of broken iron into the box.

Explanation: If you look at the iron carefully, will you find a screw in the middle? If you look down, there is a crack in the middle, and you have to separate it along this crack-this broken iron is a pliers for clamping hazelnut shells for you!

2 ` Product name: Yida chewing gum

Bad review [details] I asked for chewing gum, and I got a piece of white stuff, which was too sweet to eat 2006.04.04 16: 56.

Commentary: Oh, my God, that's the white chocolate I gave you. Chewing gum is wrapped in the newspaper below. You're not going to throw it in the trash, are you? Go find it.

3' Item Name: Maggie's comment on cotton compressed paper film * No Alipay transaction was successful.

[Details] Nothing.

Explanation: Nothing is nothing! ! Nothing! ! There is no way to evaluate! ! What what person! ! Dizzy! ! !

4 ` Product name: * Earrings * Bird Earrings

Why don't you respond to the comments? Try to comment.

Commentary: How did this happen? Hey, your computer can be upgraded: (very, very depressed)

5 ` Product name: crystal ball

Bad comment: Nice ball. Why didn't you give me the bottom seat in the photo?

Explanation: Wrong! That's my LG ashtray.

6 ` Platinum-plated necklace *9 yuan ~

The girlfriend's evaluation is "average"

Explanation: You buy her a diamond ring!

7' Bad praise attitude, things are ok, [Details]-2004.12.0313: 31

Explanation: When did I treat you badly? I wonder if I should say I love you and feel that I have a good attitude! ?

8' Comment: I didn't buy it.

Explanation: alas!

9' Fine chocolate imported from Europe

Bad review [details] The chocolate arrived three days late, and it was all broken when it arrived, which led to a quarrel between my boyfriend and me in February 2007 12 15: 32.

Explanation: Beating is pro, scolding is love, and if you really can't, kick.

10 `Mid-term Evaluation [Details] General 2008.438+0.27 23: 32

Explanation: Two kinds.

1 1' weight loss and headache treatment in whipple.

Bad review [details] Why is your vervain different from others'? 2.02 14:2 1

Explanation: Why do you look different from others?

12 ` alarm clock/bedside clock/round biscuit clock

Bad review [details] Because I am often cheated, I haven't bought online for a long time. I couldn't help buying this watch this time and was cheated again. What the hell are you doing February 2005.1314: 29

Commentary: Ma Lisan said, "I'm kidding!"

13 `Item name: 500g of preserved plum.

Comment [Details] Why can't a plum become a plum? Not at all what I want. 2006.03. 19 20: 19

Description: It's probably been done for a long time. Just as delicious.

14 `Zan: The boss has good sexual desire and fast delivery. If you want to buy, you have to find such a seller. "Ha ha!

Commentary: Sister, is the word of mouth good? Tiny difference, thousands of miles away! ! !

15 `swarovski crystal

Zan: I see. Very satisfied. One question: What's with the disposable lighter in the package? Is it for me? I don't smoke. 2008.03. 10 15:4 1

Explanation: Shh, keep your voice down. Someone has been looking for it at home since afternoon. Just in time to help him quit smoking. I guess he accidentally dropped it while helping to pack. :)

16 ` praise: the clothes bought by 39 yuan, but the label on the list is 18! ! ! I feel a little sick. I wanted to give an evaluation, but I thought about it. Doing business is not easy. I have no other requirements, I hope the seller can give me a reasonable explanation ~

Note: Please read it carefully. That is, 18 USD, not RMB.

17 `Product name: personalized photo album production (production cycle is about one week)

Bad review "Details": I received it a week later, "Wait until the flowers wither"-Jacky Cheung

"explanation": I didn't finish it until a week later. "I cried until the Great Wall fell down"-Meng Jiangnv

18 ` Product name: Yunnan third-class Pu 'er tea

Comments on the "details": it doesn't look good, and it can't be pleasant to drink!

"Explanation": I suggest you buy a third-class audio-visual product. Maybe it will look better and feel happier!

19 ` Product name: white windbreaker of urban beauty (send ×× park ticket)

Comment on "Details": Why are tickets for the garden limited to two people? If the whole family goes, there will be three people, and if they are with friends, there will be four people. You didn't mean to embarrass me!

"Explanation": I was thinking about you. I'm afraid you three will fight landlords, and you four will play mahjong. How can you go to the garden?

20' Product Name: Lottery Winning Collection

Bad review "details": The first page of the book doesn't say "After reading this book, you will win a million dollars!" Really? Why didn't I even win the final prize?

Explanation: You certainly haven't read it carefully. The last page of the book says, "If you want to realize a million dreams, you must do whatever it takes!" " . Don't worry, your efforts will pay off, not without reporting, but without reporting!

2 1 `product name: Korea super cute chewing gum/chewing gum

Praise the "details": Boss, your oral sex is really great! It's so cute, so does my friend!

[Explanation]: Sweat! Well, I've never seen you face to face, so how can I be with you? If the word "glue" can't be typed, please add the word "incense" in front, because I'm afraid others will misunderstand what I do!

22' Product name: authentic American hickory

Mediocre comments

Details: Didn't you say Tong Yuan? Why do you still send shentong?

"explanation": ah, that's enough! At that time, I thought you were reminding me not to write your name "Tong Yuan" wrong!

Product name: Qingzui buccal tablets

Bad review "Details": I heard an advertisement saying-"Want to know the taste of kissing?" I was curious to try it, and it tasted more than sugar. Isn't it obvious?

"Explanation": Son, you are underage, so you should kiss your classmates. What does advertising have to do with me? Now you can taste unreasonable "bad reviews"

24' product name: Nike casual shorts 40 yuan postage.

Bad review "details": there are serious quality problems. I only wore it for a week. I accidentally farted that day and my crotch burst!

"explanation": who told you to put it down accidentally! Moreover, it is too cheap to compare with the genuine product, and the freight is 40 (fact). What do you want me to say？

25' Product name: Korea's latest fashion body shaping underwear

Bad review "details": it's different from what you introduced. I'm so old, and my husband says I'm out of proportion!

Commentary: Women should be a little independent, isn't it good to be bigger? Don't let men master it at once!

26' Product Name: French Fine Rose

Bad review "Details": You lied to me, saying that five flowers represent "sincere appreciation", but I like that girl and call me "half-hearted"!

Explanation: Who told you to add three red ones and two white ones? Saying "I love you" and "alone" is romantic! Just like Zhang Ailing's Red Rose and White Rose. Can you not be half-hearted?

27' product: selling mobile phones.

Buyer: Boss, do you have any chocolate?

Seller: Yes, Dove and Di Chin.

Buyer: I mean the mobile phone! ! !

Seller: Oh, I didn't know I was selling mobile phones until you reminded me.

The buyer took a fancy to the seller. .

Buyer: Is the photo yours? How handsome!

Seller: Sorry, don't bargain!

Buyer: ........

29' Product: selling mobile phones.

Buyer: Boss, how can I tell the difference between a primary battery and an assembled battery?

Seller: If you throw the battery into the fire, the original explosion will be louder.

Buyer: Haha

30 ` Questioning the owner's bad reviews

Buyer: Boss, why are there so many bad reviews?

Seller: Don't you think China is a country with many unjust, false and wrongful cases? Where there is injustice, there is resistance, and where there is resistance, there is sacrifice.

3 1 `product: selling mobile phones.

Buyer: With such an expensive mobile phone, I might as well buy a laptop.

Seller: That's right. I imagine it must be cool for you to stand in a crowd and open your notebook and stick it to your ear to answer the phone.

32' product: selling mobile phones.

Buyer: Hello?

Seller: Sorry, I only sell mobile phones!

33' product: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, is the call quality of this mobile phone good?

Seller: Samsung's are generally very good.

Buyer: None of the mobile phones I bought works, and I can't hear what others are saying clearly.

Seller: Oh

Buyer: What do you recommend me to buy?

Seller: hearing AIDS

34' About express delivery. . . .

Buyer: Boss, we can't receive express delivery here. Is there any way to deliver it faster?

Seller: You rented a plane and put it down.

35' comment: the mobile phone can't reply.

Explanation: It's my fault that your mobile phone can't reply.

36' Zan

Buyer: Very, very beautiful! The seller is very, very stupid.

Explanation: 5555555 ~ ~ How can you say that about me? Very sad. . .

37' praise

Buyer: Brother, your package is so strong! I took it apart for a long time!

Explanation: Oh, I can't afford a girl without a strong bag! Otherwise, it will be said that the tape we saved is too stingy, haha!

38' Zan

Buyer: I bought DD surface mail for 4 yuan, but the seller sent 5 yuan by express mail, and personally made a long-distance call to ask what the spirit was! Communist spirit!

Explanation: I ... really don't have time to go to the post office ... to sweat.

Product name: Osman-—30g pearl moisturizing eye cream

Bad review [details] How to return the goods?

Explanation: Wrong. After the photo was taken, I didn't pay or deliver the goods. What about returning the goods?

Buyer: I'm sorry, JJ, some things have been delayed until now, which has delayed your laying!

Seller: it doesn't matter ~ ~ lay eggs, I don't have that function.

Buyer: Haha, sorry, the wrong number is the order!

Seller: Oh, I said I don't seem to have that function!

4 1 `I should be asking the boss if he has a physical store.

MM A: Boss, do you have a corpse shop?

Cao: Sorry, Taobao doesn't allow people to sell that.

42 ` Buyer MM: Is the shopkeeper there?