02. I miss those days very much. You wriggled in front of me and walked on the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw you, we all praised you: Hey, it's beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, coming out to release pigs in such a small grade!
03. It was another chance encounter. Your big watery eyes looked at you with emotion. I tried to avoid your sight in panic, but you followed me. I know how you feel, so I ran and shouted: Whose dog is not tied?
04. You were on TV, and I saw you. It was really eye-catching and photogenic. You looked so handsome, so cute, so confident and so perfect in the advertisement. I told you, you can be a model in any advertisement for pig feed!
05. The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said: that's because the mind is calm and naturally cool.
06. I have always been by your side, and I have been worried about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you just couldn't take care of yourself. Whenever I walked away, you would jump out of the pigsty.
07. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and you stood in Tanaka, your clothes were broken and dark, and your eyes were tearful and said: Stealing a cabbage, is it worthwhile to use shelling?
08. An old man stayed at an old friend's house because his daughter-in-law was in labor. Friends ask why? Answer: "Don't mention it! My daughter-in-law gave birth to a child and squeezed me out. "
09. You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a little temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can set off the beauty of the world?
10. One day, when Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest, he stepped forward and said, I am Hong Tao Liu, and the foreign guest said, I'm still a square seven!
1 1. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do it; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read short messages, but you did. Congratulations!
12. In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please hit your head against the wall with all your strength-see? Countless stars in front of you are my infinite care!
13. I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was taken away by the waves; So I wrote down your name in every corner of the street .....................................................................................................................................................................
14. Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: selling children, selling women, selling rice, selling iron and selling blood, selling houses, selling land and selling wives. Thanks for your cooperation! China Telecom.
15. Don't be crazy with me! Easy to die! Don't pretend with me! Easy to get hurt! Beat you up! No one! You can't be singled out! I'll beat you into Zhang Haidi! Or beat you into a mummy! Give you some face! Beat you to death.
16. Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, so God let you come to me, so God lost the bucket of rice!
17. Are you lonely? If so, then you go downstairs to buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and go to the roof to wave the stick when the wind blows. People want to ask you: What are you doing? Just say: I'm crazy!
18. After the bell rings, the phone prompts a voice saying: The other party is streaking, please dial again later. I can't believe it! Dial again and say: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed has run out of service area, please redial later.
19. When you smile, wolves hang themselves, when you scream, chickens fly and dogs jump, and when you stop, the smell is pervasive. When you sweat, lice disaster, you don't dress up, which is uglier than ghosts. When you dress up, ghosts are paralyzed.
20. Standing under a tall building, my heart is sad, my face is wet, and it tastes a little salty. Is it rain or tears? Look up at the sky: damn, who is peeing upstairs!
2 1. Four ideals in life: 1. Tile the Great Wall. 2. Set the equator with Phnom Penh. 3. Put a railing on the Pacific Ocean. 4. Mount Everest with an elevator.
22. Four ideals in life: 1, put gloves on flies. 2. Wear a mask for mosquitoes. 3. Put shackles on the mouse. 4. Educate cockroaches to wear condoms.
23. The sea is all fucking water, spiders are all fucking legs, peppers are so fucking spicy, and I don't fucking regret knowing you. I wish you happiness and keep smiling every day!
24. If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die!
25. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world, with a nest of cabbage on your head, a sack and a kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation of fools.
26. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly again, "Count off!" " So, reluctantly, you turned around and hugged the tree!
27. Love is empty, and I am wandering in the street; People are empty and money is empty, and single bad karma is working; Things are empty and businesses are empty, and they go crazy when they think about it; There is no money to charge the mobile phone, and life is not easy-in short, everything is empty.
28. I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: 8 yuan the trotter. Do you think the machine is broken? Look over your face, and the screen shows 5 yuan, the pig's head!
29. A college student was caught in a terrorist camp by mistake. The terrorist asked: Where did you come from? Tell me quickly, or I will electrocute you. The student replied: my TV University ~ ~ ~
30. You and I are both angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to the world just to find you, and I found you after all the hardships: TMD! Our wings are on the same side!
3 1. In the middle of the night, Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was frightened and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and smiled grimly, saying, Rejoice is so confident!
32. There was a bean, which fell down. It was discouraged and depressed. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called * pig encourages beans *.
33. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I'm very abnormal recently. How can I get back to normal if I eat cucumbers and eat watermelons? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.
34. Do you know why we are predestined friends? We knew each other as early as 1000 years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving your teeth marks on me. This has become an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.
35. Speaking of a bus driver, a passenger stuck his head out of the window, and the driver said, "The one who stuck his head out put his head back. You can't put your head down in such a big carriage."
36. A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and ran fiercely to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog looked at it dismissively and said, idiot, look more clearly, I'm in plain clothes!
37. I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Ask me to eat well, or write: marriage, both men and women, unlimited conditions.
38. The cannibal father and son hunted, and his son caught a thin man. His father said, Let go, there is no meat! His son also captured a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, Take it home and eat your mother at night!
39. One day we went to a wishing well. I bent down and made a wish and threw a coin in the well. You wanted to make a wish, too, but when you bent down, you accidentally fell into the well. I was shocked and muttered to myself: That's really clever!
40. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl said to the boy, You should be responsible for me if you kissed me. The boy patted the girl's shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old!
4 1. The monkey picked up a card. It wanted to see what it was, so it climbed to the branch and looked at it. At this moment, a lightning strike struck it. The monkey cried and said, it turned out to be an IP card!
42. Zheng Xiding's daughter-in-law did not see her husband, so she went to her father-in-law's house to look for her. Seeing my father-in-law washing his face, he asked, Dad, what about Xi Ding? Father-in-law is unhappy and continues to wash his face. The daughter-in-law was angry and asked, Dad, where is Zheng Xiding? Father-in-law is furious: wash your face!
43. A man and a woman had to sleep in the same room at night. The woman drew a line and warned the man that it was an animal who crossed the line! The next day, the woman found that the man really didn't cross the line and immediately slapped the man: I didn't expect you to be worse than an animal!
44. A large number of people in the street are buying "welfare lottery tickets" and drawing prizes on the spot. Anyone with animal patterns printed inside is the winner. The bigger the animal on the pattern, the bigger the prize, and the more valuable the prize. After someone carefully opened one, he saw that he had won the first prize and couldn't help laughing. He shouted, "I am a donkey! I am a donkey! ! A man next to him repeatedly missed it and said angrily, "What are you yelling about? As long as it is an animal, there is a prize! "
45. One day, I picked up my two-year-old son from kindergarten and came home. The child was bored sitting in the back seat of a bicycle. I said, "Hey, son, I'll make a word. Can you make a sentence for my father?" "Yes, you go ahead," he said. "Delicious," I said. "delicious fart!" He blurted out after my voice?
46. When my uncle came home as a guest, Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." My mother immediately shouted angrily, "What monkeys are you looking at? Your uncle is here, what zoo are you going to! "
47. A little boy asked his mother after school one day, "Mom, where did I come from?" Mother thinks this question is not easy to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children, and take cats and dogs as an example to talk about the reproductive process in a serious way. After listening to it, the son said in a daze, "How did this happen? My classmate said that he was from Shanxi. "
48. A family of three moved into a new house. Seeing that her husband and son didn't pay much attention to hygiene, the wife wrote a slogan at home: "Everyone is responsible for paying attention to hygiene." When my son came home from school, he saw the slogan and took out a pen to change it to: "Pay attention to hygiene, adults are responsible." The next day, when the husband saw it, he also took out his pen and changed the slogan to: "Pay attention to hygiene, and the wife is responsible."
49. The farmer raised a pig and fed it bran every day. The Animal Protection Association found out and fined it 1 10,000 yuan. Farmers changed to feed orchids and roses, and as a result, they were fined 1 10,000 yuan by the Plant Protection Association. One day, someone came to inspect and asked him what to feed the pig. The farmer said, I don't know what to feed, so I have to give it 100 yuan every day and let it go out to eat by itself.
50. I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I had to chase and shout, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, don't chase."