People are old and rambling. Why don't you fight?
Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "
The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " "
The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "
The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" " "
The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "
The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "
The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "
The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" " "
The fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" " "
The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"
The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"
The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "
The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"
The senior math teacher said that I will teach senior math this semester.
The college physics teacher said: I teach big this semester.
The information management teacher said: I teach asset management this semester.
The socio-economic teacher said: You talk, I'll go first.
The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of logs. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.
Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.
The door of Lao Wang's house is made of stone. Lao Wang said that the door of my house is Shimen.
Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!
The students of normal college said: I am from normal college.
The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.
The student of the Air Force Academy said: I am from the Air Force Academy.
The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!
County Party Secretary: "Rabbit, shrimp, pigtail! Without pickles, pickles are too expensive! " Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the secretary of the county party Committee finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!" (Translation: Now please speak to the county magistrate! The county magistrate said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is chinemys reevesii!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. Let's make a big bowl! County magistrate: "Don't be a pickle, I'll lick a shit for you? "Stop it, I'll tell you a story. County magistrate: This shit may be eaten by someone. Some people may know this story. County magistrate: don't worry about what you can't eat (and don't worry about what you don't know) County magistrate: I will lick it for you now.
There is a man named Du Ziteng.
Ask the teacher when you call the roll.
"Where is Du Ziteng?"
The classmate said, "He has a stomachache."
One day, a male deer ran faster and faster, and in the end, it became a high-speed male deer (highway).
One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.
She announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."
All the children went to pick fruit.
As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.
Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"
Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."
Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"
Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."
Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "
A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."
One day there was a mother-in-law in a car …
Sitting halfway, my mother-in-law doesn't know the way.
My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this?
Driver: This is my ass ... I was on a business trip with my colleagues from other places, and my local colleagues were very hospitable, so I hosted a banquet in characteristic hotel's private room that night. After sitting down, a dozen men and women have been chatting, and only one person is ordering. After ordering, I asked everyone's opinion: "The food is ready. Is there anything else to add? "
In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the young lady to quote the name of the dish she ordered. So a buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report it."
Miss saw his one eye, nothing happened.
"Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent.
Miss face flushed, still nothing happened.
"What? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent.
A female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, please report one by one, ah."
The young lady mumbled something and asked, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?"
"poof!" A female colleague just took a long sip of tea and sprayed it all on the person in front. A dozen people laughed, and the young lady was at a loss.
It's time to serve Let's have a mixed face lift first. A large plate of thin face was served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. Miss didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be unhappy and asking the young lady: "What should I do?"
The young lady said calmly, "Whatever you want."
"What do you say?"
"What do you want to do?"
"What do you usually do here?"
"Why don't I help you?"
"Very good."
I saw the lady holding chopsticks in one hand and chopsticks in the other, and quickly poured several dishes of ingredients and sauces on the rapier.
Spoon, just brush it a few times and mix it. Then he said to his buddy, "Sir, you can eat."
The buddy stared at the plate for a long time without saying anything, and another colleague said "thank you" to the lady for him.
The main course is served-roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this mouth.
You're welcome to grab a leg of lamb, click it is a bite, eat it loudly. Miss a look and said:
"Sir, this should be dipped."
The elder brothers looked puzzled at the young lady and then at the local colleagues. A local colleague said, "It tastes better when dipped in it."
The buddy then stood up with a leg of lamb and clicked again.
The young lady hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?"
"ah? No. "
"Then please sit down and eat."
The buddy sat down and muttered, looking at everyone, lost. Carefully hold the leg of lamb to your mouth and take a careful bite.
The young lady added, "Sir, you should dip this."
Buddy stood up, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "How to eat standing and sitting?" ! ? "
The table is full and the leaders are here.
The house was full of greetings.
The lady next to the party is very beautiful, new, inexperienced and quite nervous.
Everyone sat down, and someone called, "Miss, tea!" "
Miss hurried forward and pointed her finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, * * * seven!"
Everyone laughed, and the leader went on to say, "pour the tea!" "
Miss busy "down" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or 7."
Someone asked, "What are you counting?"
The young lady hesitated and whispered, "I am a dog."
Everyone was very angry and shouted, "Call your manager!" As soon as the manager came in, he put his hand down and asked with a smile, "What do you want to tell me?"
The leader said, "Don't ask any more questions. Ask about the age of this young lady."
The manager thought for a moment and answered according to his orders: "18 years old, a dog!" " "
The leader smiled and everyone laughed. It is not convenient for everyone to pursue the massive failure of leaders.
Miss and manager are like falling into the clouds.
After 30 days of drinking, a dish came up: "Stewed tortoise!"
Everyone was happy, but they didn't forget the rules. Someone dialed the king with chopsticks and said, "lead, lead!" "
The leader looked at the turtle's crazy shaking head and was unhappy. He didn't want to reconcile the ending of this statement, and he didn't want to go against everyone's good wishes. He tasted the soup with a spoon and said, "Good, good! Please feel free. "
Someone said, "Yes-a turtle should have soup!" " The leader almost spat with anger.
After a while, the soup was almost finished, and a round thing surfaced and asked, "Miss, what is this?"
The young lady quickly replied, "It's an asshole." Everyone was surprised and happy: "Leaders eat first, leaders eat first!"
The leader was happy not to hear the words of "bad luck". He called the young lady: "Give it to everyone!"
For a long time, the young lady didn't move, and the leader asked angrily, "Why, is this unclear?"
The young lady said awkwardly, "How to divide seven people and six bastards?"
Everyone looked at each other, full of delicious food, hard to swallow. `