Opening: < There is a table and three chairs on the stage. One person is sleeping in one chair. < The sleeping position is very ugly >, and the other person is putting his feet on the table and reading the newspaper very lazily. This is a girl coming (the host)

The host (who is also an examiner): (Very angry, banging on the table) Hello. Hey! Hey! Get up quickly! It's time to start work.

Oh, I said you two, how can you ... how can you remember the 1.3 billion national audience in front of the TV, and how can you remember the 1 billion Fans who have always supported us? I really feel, confused about you! (At this time, the boy who has been sleeping lazily looked up and stretched himself. )

Master Meng (that is, sleeping boy): It's noisy, noisy! I was dreaming just now, but now you woke me up. Alas? You know what? Do you know what dream I just had? Just now, I dreamed that I was sitting on the "Chang 'e I" and talking about the philosophy of life with sister Chang 'e!

Dongpo (the boy reading the newspaper): I feel dizzy. Can you be realistic? Don't you smell a strange smell? Ha-ha-ha-(after looking at his feet on the table)

Master Meng: Ah … you! ..... Ah! (Kuqiang) What's wrong with this ... what's wrong with this? There are feet that stink worse than me! No, I can never be the second in the world, absolutely not, I am the first in the world forever-smelly feet! ! !

host: you really confuse me! You see, people who want to interview are all lined up in a long line of 5 thousand meters, from Changping to Chang 'an Avenue. CCTV, Beijing TV, Changping TV, and China University of Political Science and Law TV are all giving us live broadcasts. So now, every move you make, every word you say, you have to pay legal responsibility.

su Dongpo: well, let's get started! As if I didn't want to start, this man!

master Meng: yes, she likes to talk about me best. I just slept for a day and a night plus 24 hours!

Dongpo (to the hostess): Please call for the start! Call it a start, why is it so slow?

you really confuse me! Alas .....

(The host turns around, apologizing and officially announcing the start of the interview)

Moderator: Dear students, dear teachers, and friends in front of one billion TV viewers, good evening, and welcome to the recruitment interview site of our "quasi-philosopher" association. Today is the first interview for our "quasi-philosopher" association, so this time our organizer, the 7-level philosophy class of China University of Political Science and Law, has prepared a small gift for all the friends present. The gift includes a number of newly unearthed fragments of Zhouyi, plus a bagua diagram, as well as the classic works of Socrates, Plato, Hegel, Kant and Marx. Of course, the most attractive gift is- Please contact the life committee of the philosophy class to get the gifts after you finish (the host can read aloud with paper)

Dongpo: Come on, come on. Stop tempting everyone and get to the point!

host: ok! Now I will solemnly introduce the examiner for this interview. The first one is Master Meng (pointing to Master Meng). Mr. Meng, can you talk about your feelings about philosophy?

master (standing up): you don't need a reason to fall in love with philosophy. If you love her, take her to study philosophy.

Moderator: The second appearance is Mr. Su Dongpo (finger Dongpo). Mr. Su, can you tell us the benefits of studying philosophy?

Dongpo: It's good to study philosophy. Whoever studies will know, and I won't tell him the average person!

Compere: Next up is the third examiner in this interview, and that is me. I am the examiner and the host. What I want to say to philosophy is: philosophy, very good, everything is possible to learn philosophy.

ok, the interview of our "quasi-philosopher association" is now officially started, please welcome the first interviewer.

(The four interviewers are: Ling Huchong, Mulan, Supreme Treasure, and Jane Eyre)

< Ling Huchong came on stage, walking back and forth in front of three examiners as if nothing had happened >

Master Meng (a little awed): Hello, hello. I said, buddy, what's your name?

Ling Huchong: (glancing at him, then reaching out his right hand, jumping back with his feet, standing still and picking up his hair with his hand) Actually, I am Ling Huchong, a great disciple of Huashan School!

Dongpo: oh, it's your little Xia. I've heard so much about you!

Ling: (holding out his right hand) Wrong. Accurately call it Linghu Shaoxia.

Moderator: I said Linghu Shaoxia, you are a good hero, but you come to Changping to join our "quasi-philosopher" association. Are you abandoning the dark and casting your light on the bright?

Ling Huchong: (When I saw the host, the application immediately turned 18 degrees and became very docile) Yes, yes, sister, you are absolutely right. I just want to abandon the dark for the bright future. I will become a member of the "quasi-philosopher" in the future and see my sister every day ...

Master Meng (touching his mouth with his hand, his expression is unhappy): Cough. I said, Ling Huchong, since you're here, I can't let you come for nothing. I still want to test you-please talk about your understanding of life.

Ling Huchong (eyes turn from the host to Master Meng, and his attitude becomes cool) Life? Life? ..... Hey, let me tell you this (it's very heavy). My master Yue Buqun once told me that life is like a box of chocolates (taking out a piece of chocolate while talking), in which the taste can only be known by the eater (eating the chocolate). How can I generalize?

Dongpo: Alas, your master Yue Buqun is still good, so I decided to take your master.

Ling Huchong: Sorry, this sentence was actually told by my master's master.

master Meng: forget it, then. You'd better tell me your own opinion.

Ling Huchong: (slowly raising his head, deep and deep) In fact, life is like a feather in the air, drifting with the wind, I don't know where it came from, and I don't know where it will go. But I believe I will master my own destiny, and I will try my best to give full play to the strength and intelligence given to me by God. I must be able to look back on the world and sigh: Although I have never been earth-shattering or vigorous in my life, I will never regret it, because I have interviewed in the Association of Quasi-philosophers, and I hope my life will be anchored in the Association of Quasi-philosophers (I look at the host affectionately). I will keep working hard for the benefit of the Association of Quasi-philosophers. Join this great cause of mankind! !

(Ling Huchong said, holding his fist with both hands, waving his arm and striding away without looking back)

Dongpo: Alas, Mr. Ling Huchong, please stay.

(Ling Huchong pauses and looks back)

Su Dongpo: Do you have any more chocolate? ......

(Ling Huchong exits)

Moderator: Alas, this child, why do you always look at me? I'm blushing

Well, the next interviewer

(Mulan walks in with goose steps)

reports that Mulan will be waiting for an interview at the end

.

Mulan: (very confident) man or woman ,this is not a question! The most important thing is that I am a person. If I am a person, I may be a man or a woman, but a man or a woman. It must be a person first. Have you ever seen a man who is not human? Have you ever heard that it belongs to a man but not to a man and not to a woman? Have you ever seen a man and a woman? Have you ever met anyone who is neither a man nor a woman?

So (a pause), men and women are the unity of opposites, so men are women and women are men. (The faster you speak this paragraph, the better)

Master Meng: I feel dizzy.

host: mom, that's not so XX!

Dongpo: Oh, my God!

Mulan: (super narcissistic) God? There is no God in this world, and there are many people who believe in God, so you people created God, but you still think that God created you, poor human beings! (sympathetic)

master: (thumbs up) awesome, classic, incisive, expert, superman, god!

Mulan: Actually, I didn't say this, but Lu Xun and Marx said it.

Old Marx taught us that we should make the most thorough break with theism. Haha ~

Moderator: Mulan, in fact, you are very talented in philosophy, so we sincerely hope that you can join us.

Mulan: ah! I was admitted, thank God, thank earth, thank Guanyin and Jade Emperor, and thank Uncle Lu Xun.

Under Mulan

Moderator: Are you kidding? You have changed your outlook on the world and life so quickly. He also said that he wanted to make a "complete break". He really didn't believe it, alas! It's so helpless. What's wrong with these young people now? This is ~

OK, next, eh? (looking at the list in his hand) It's called Supreme Treasure. The name is so familiar!

Next, Supreme Treasure (raised his voice)

(Supreme Treasure trotted, greeted the audience while running, and blew kisses from time to time. Supreme Treasure walked around the table, and finally stared at the face of the host for a long time)

Zunbao: Sister Zi Xia, you actually didn't.

master Meng: alas, my child, I understand your feelings. You, I didn't see that a beautiful woman is lacking in strength, but you are crazy when you meet a beautiful woman. My child, I used this trick when I was chasing Li Qingzhao. It's too vulgar. Let's change it!

Supreme Treasure: (to Master Meng) No, son, you are wrong, you are too young! Do you know the philosophy of love? Do you know the origin of the universe? Do you know love through time and space?

Master Meng: Another master. Alas, Bao Er, can you share it with me?

Moderator: Yes, yes, Bao Er, please share your thousand years of love with everyone!

Supreme Treasure: (Looking at the distant horizon, slowly) Dear friends, whenever night falls, when you look up at the sky and stare at the sky, you will find that the universe is really big. You can't see the edge of the big one, and you will also find yourself really small. You forget your existence when you are small. However, I met her in my life, and the probability is so small that you feel that life is just like the first time. However, the Millennium has passed, and when I suddenly look back, I find that it was one of her Millennium tears that stayed in my heart, bright and clear. This is a sudden awakening-love is eternal in the universe, not black holes and dark matter.

Moderator: Dude, you mustn't say that in front of Hawking! But what you said is still reasonable.

Zunbao: Fairy Zixia, this is all from my heart. I'm really wrong and I really regret it.

(turning around) There was once a pure love in front of me. I didn't cherish it until I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me another chance to come again, I will say three words (stop for a minute) to which girl. If I have to add a deadline to this love, I hope it is-1, years! (sighs and wipes his eyes)

Su Dongpo: How touching!

master Meng: (sad and sympathetic) Bao Er, you are so pitiful! God is so unfair!

host: so happy! I'm talking about Zi Xia, haha ~ OK, you can go. Next, Jane Eyre.

(sovereign treasure is depressed)

< Jane Eyre >

(Jane Eyre walks leisurely with headphones)

(When Jane Eyre sees three examiners, her face shows a happy expression, she walks quickly to them immediately)

Jane Eyre: Excuse me, do you need a tutor? I am a person who can only speak English. I can be your English tutor. English is very important now, especially CET-4 and CET-6 ... < P > Moderator: Stop! Everyone knows the importance of CET-4 and CET-6, so I don't think you need to introduce it more!

Dongpo: I said, son, did you not sleep well today, or did you drink too much at the hometown meeting last night, and you didn't even know what you were doing or who you were talking to.

Jane Eyre: What? Isn't this an employment agency? I came to Changping by 345 at 5 o'clock this morning in order to find a part-time job!

master: 5 o'clock? Son, are you sure it was 345 or 919? Was there a car then?

Moderator: Jane, I think you really didn't sleep well. This is not an employment agency. This is the recruiting site of the Quasi-Philosophers Association of China University of Political Science and Law. You probably took the wrong bus. Alas, poor child!

Jane Eyre: Alas, life is really wonderful. I accidentally recorded 543 as 345, and I came to Changping unconsciously. In fact, I was going to Xuanwu, and I unexpectedly came to your "quasi-philosopher" recruitment site inexplicably. Oh! Life is accidental and inevitable!

Dongpo: wonderful! Wonderful! Jane, what you said is wonderful. Life is accidental and inevitable! Countless accidents will inevitably lead to inevitability, and countless inevitability will inevitably lead to more accidents.

Alas, life is bound to be accidental, accidental, endless and endless, alas ...

Jane Eyre: Are you a philosopher? You are so talented!

Dongpo: Alas, everyone thinks I am a writer. Actually, my other occupation is a philosopher. It's just that I accidentally wrote a few articles full of philosophical wisdom. Everyone thinks I am a writer. Alas! It's all accidental!

master: philosophy is actually in life, right beside you, in your conversation, philosophy is close at hand, everyone is a philosopher, Jane, you have a unique analysis of the relationship between necessity and chance in life, and we have decided to have you!

Jane Eyre: alas! Life is accidental, Nothing is impossible!

(under Jane Eyre)

< After the interview, the host gave a concluding speech >

Moderator: Time flies. In a blink of an eye, our interview will be over soon. Dear friends, through the interview, we found that the original philosophy is not as boring as you think. Philosophy exists in life and transcends life. You just need to appreciate life and experience it with your heart.

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