I once ran away from home and wanted to go far away. I didn't want to remind me of my son at the sight of this home. I was tortured all the time.
But I couldn't escape. No matter how far I went, I couldn't walk out of the distance in my heart. During the day, I hurried through the noise of passers-by, and at night, I enjoyed my own happiness in that charming dark night. At night, I don't have to hide from the eyes of the world. I can stare at the stars in the sky with wide eyes, enjoy the most beautiful moment, and miss my son in the sky. Among those shining stars, I firmly believe that one must be my son. Although I don't know poetry, I am not a poet, but I know that this night sky is the best opportunity for the poet to give me to meet my son. My son is in the sky, I am on the ground, and we look at each other from afar. I tell my thoughts about my son, and my son winks at me mischievously and gives me a bright smile.
every time I imagine the night with my son like this, my heart is filled with endless joy. I don't think I'm crazy. They said I was mentally stimulated.
The days when I was homeless, hungry and cold made me like the night. When I saw other children on the road, I stood on the roadside and watched them play happily. When they saw me, they all ran away in a hubbub. Some children even threw stones at me. I still smiled at them stupidly. I don't blame these children. Maybe they will understand when they grow up. Some well-meaning people will ask me why I am here, and even bring me a bowl of rice, which makes me burst into tears!
I stop wherever I go. What impresses me most is that hunger attacks me all the time. I'm not begging! I just want to find my son!
but I'm hungry, too! Green corn on the cob and half a sweet potato dug out of the soil are enough to make me feel extremely delicious when I am hungry!
After more than two months, I returned to my poor home. I still miss my son and I don't want to stay at home. Home makes me feel terrible. My original small and well-off family is so ruined. Who can I blame? Am I too upset? Didn't they just take my furniture? As for more reasons, I can't bear too many blows! My son was strangled a month after they took away my furniture. When I woke up that morning, I had a splitting headache when I saw him. The more I looked at him, the worse I felt. Look at my home. It was empty. His father went to the fields, and a good home was destroyed. My hard-earned family business was confiscated. I run this home. What is my hope? One hoe can't dig out a golden pimple, and it's ridiculous for a family to rely on him to make a hoe at sunrise and rest at sunset! Son, today, my mother will send you to another world to live a happy life. I saw my son smile. He didn't struggle or suffer, and went to live a happy life with the beauty that exists in this world. I laughed too.
When his father came back, I said to him, "Look, how sweet our son sleeps, he is so happy!" The husband picked up his son, and his face suddenly changed. He put down his son and raised his hand to attack me. I was so frightened that I dared not come out under the bed. I peeked at him from under the sheets, only to see him slumped on the ground with his hands on his face, sobbing ...
Until dawn, I was dragged out from under the bed by him in a daze. He put his son in front of me: "Take one last look at his son." I picked up my son and suddenly woke up. It's impossible. My son is clearly asleep. He will wake up. Why don't you smile at me anymore? My five-year-old daughter also cried and said to me, "Mom, my brother is gone." I cried like rain, how could I be so confused!
coming home reminds me of these things again, and when I saw those three children, I felt sad for a while. I curled up in a corner of the room all day, didn't eat, didn't sleep or talk, and didn't even know I was hungry. My daughter brought me a meal and said, "Mom, have some." I gave her a bad look, and my two daughters stopped being close to me. There is also a son who never asks me.
my husband saw that I had been like this for a long time, and he was afraid that I would attack the children again, so he sent me back to my parents' house. I have no idea about home at all. The cold shoulder of others and the cynicism of relatives also made me strong. I have the courage to realize my intention.
I'm not crazy. I'm also sober, and I'm well aware of the family infighting. They forced their mother and younger brother to separate, and I didn't agree. In the middle of the night, I woke up my younger brother and daughter-in-law, and I ordered him not to separate from his mother: "What you said is not counted, and what your brother and sister-in-law said is not counted! You will carry my mother's bed to your room tonight! " I'm going to make such a scene that you can't be separated! But my ordeal was in vain after all.
I can see that my poor mother can't help my little brother after his separation.
My little brother's daughter is just one or two years old. Seeing her makes me full of joy. I asked to take care of their children, and I can see that they dare not disobey my will. I have also heard the admonition from others: "She strangled her own sons, how dare you let her take care of your children!" I just want to prove to them that I am not crazy and I can take care of this child!
The child is estimated to be in her twenties now, and I believe she is still alive and well.
Later, when I was noisy at home, they had to admit that I was sensible. I knew it very well, and I knew everything in my heart. Then my husband took me back.
when I get home again, it's still empty; Seeing this mess again, I can't help feeling sad and angry. The child has also become sensible, the husband said, take good care of this family, it will be fine!
in this way, I watch my children grow up day by day, and I am getting old day by day. From time to time, I think of some stupid things I did when I was young. Now I am in a lonely corner, and every day I just hope to hear one sentence: Mom, I'm back!