2, people are iron, fans are steel, and there is no panic in one day!

3. It is forbidden to urinate here, and the tools will be confiscated.

4. It is said that you look like Mammy Rong. Actually, your heart is princess huanzhu.

5. What is important these days is speed, otherwise you can't catch up with the heat when you eat shit.

6, don't worry about eating, don't worry about wearing, sleep and have a perm.

7, listen to the treatment of constipation, listen to the top three times, listen to the fruit with high calcium, and still want to listen.

8. The punk is just my superficial work, and my real identity is a rogue.

9. If there are ghosts in the world, marry me.

10, friendly, I admire your thick skin very much. I have never seen such a terrible woman as you in my life.

1 1, if you want to cry, I can hold you and make you cry loudly, and you can also wipe away your tears and snot with my clothes.

12, if you knew me before, you might forgive me now!

13, don't kill me, I still have my acceptance speech.

15, the fox is not demon sexy, not coquettish fox is not refined or coquettish light.

16, who has not died since ancient times, has to die early and late.

17 A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good blacksmith.

18, the highest level of eating fried rice with eggs is: give it to your wife after eating.

19, like many people, but love is only one, no matter how many people you like, how many times you have talked about love, there is only one person in the end.

20. I'm not fragrant, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in your hand?

2 1, you take your sunshine road, I'll take my underground road.

22. The subscriber you dialed is playing monster.

23. I couldn't buy a mobile phone, so I ran to find you with my mobile phone …

24, good fire waste carbon, good women waste sweat,

25. The first kiss was dedicated to the earth, and the youth was dedicated.

26. I remember that you sang with fear.

27, ask what the world is, everything has its vanquisher! ! !

Yesterday, a rogue woman stared at me, and I blushed for the first time since I was a rogue.

29, Gong Linna that tore heart crack lung voice. I wonder if she killed pigs in her last life.

30. Women like to hear men say that another woman is ugly, and men like to hear women say that another man has failed.

Inspirational quotations in September

1. Running for the goal is a kind of realm, trying to challenge the limit is a kind of happiness, and smiling beyond suffering is a kind of happiness.

For climbers, it is not a pity to lose the footprints of the past, but it is dangerous to lose the direction of the past tense.

Strugglers have sailed their career to the other side of the ideal in the river where sweat gathers.

4. Those who sow with tears will surely reap with a smile.

A good life can never be afraid of trouble. Only those who are not afraid of trouble can finally overcome the triviality of life and become its master.

6. Many failures are not because of limited ability, but because of not sticking to the end.

7. Opportunity will not find you on its own initiative, but must show yourself.

8. The rudder of destiny is struggle. Don't have any illusions, don't give up a chance, and don't stop working hard for a day.

9. Today will be cruel, tomorrow will be more cruel, and the day after tomorrow will be beautiful, but most people will die tomorrow night.

10. Difficulties and setbacks are not terrible. What is terrible is the loss of ambition and courage.

1 1. Busy bees have no time to talk in front of people.

12. You chase after me and fight for the first place, bleeding and sweating without regret.

13. Diligence is the password of your life, which can translate a magnificent epic.

14. Please treat hard work as a habit, not a three-minute fever. Persistence is the way to success, and every harvest you envy is hard work!

15. Let's change our worries into thinking and planning beforehand!

16. The more setbacks in life, the more insights in life; One more fall in life, one more experience of struggle.

17. Any restriction starts from your own heart.

18. If you are afraid of the ups and downs of the rocks ahead, life will always be a stagnant pool.

19. Life is not an arrangement, but a pursuit. The meaning of life may never be answered, but we should enjoy this unanswered life.

20. There is only one life, either you make it or you will make it. If you don't want to do it, you should try to achieve it.

2 1. A person is not afraid of regretting what he did in the future, but is afraid of regretting what he didn't do.

22. As long as you set a goal and move forward step by step, life is likely to turn over at any time. It's never too late to change.

Other funny quotations from Lei Ren.

Know you well? Play a video if you have nothing to do. Think of it as your TV, and it will pop out when you press it.

Work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and go empty.

The difficulty of marriage is that we fall in love with each other's strengths, but live with her weaknesses.

Tonight, let's use the cold war to keep warm!

If you have a doormat face, don't step on it.

Mom says it's best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

Don't say that women are too realistic if men don't have skills, and don't say that men are too playboy if women don't have strength.

If you can do it, try not to make noise.

Were you thrown up three times after you were born, but only caught twice?

Handsome is useless! In the end, it was eaten by a pawn!

Who can be as loyal to love as to RMB?

No tiger will die in Pingyang, when I make a comeback.

Be gentle with people and things. Don't lose your temper at will, no one owes you.

The person I love is taken. People who love me are terrible.

Have what you like, and don't be afraid of the result.

It's very painful now, and when you look back later, you will find that it's actually nothing.

Choosing a good man needs methods, just learn to say no before you get the hang of it!

Some people can be easily erased by time. Like dust.

It's not so much that others make you suffer, but that your self-cultivation is not enough.

There is an abyss lurking in her heart, and she can't make a sound when dropping a boulder.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former!

We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

I am small-minded, but not lacking. I am good-tempered, but not without it!

Some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

Cherish life-if God keeps you alive, you must have his plans.

There are two tragedies in life: one is despair, and the other is complacency.

Classic shocking jokes of funny quotations

The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated for the spread of anti-virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have more legs ~! ! The doctor consoled: Brother, take it easy, you will be an earthworm in the future ...

A farmer kills chickens tomorrow and feeds them at night, saying, Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down and left a suicide note: I have taken rat poison, and you don't want to eat me. I'm not fucking easy to mess with ~!

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were shaken down. Only one ant clung to the elephant's neck. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's backwards!

Many cocks chase a hen, and the hen is moved when she sees that one of the cocks bows its head and says nothing. On the wedding night, hen: You are so cool. Why didn't you scream at that time? Rooster: I drank too much that day … I was afraid of vomiting.

Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, and the old donkey sighed: We can't compete with men, we eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts!

A store kept a parrot. When the customer came in, he said welcome. A girl did not believe it and left six times. The parrot said it six times in a row. At the seventh time, the parrot said angrily, Boss, someone is playing with your bird!

The child stole the parrot raised in the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called: Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You said angrily, If you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The puppy said happily, Let's see who is cruel.

When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you and bit a piece of meat from your foot, and swallowed it quickly. When you stretched out your foot and was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

Mike: Sorry I'm late, teacher. I dreamed of a football match. Teacher: Then why did it make you late? Mike: Because the two teams were tied, they played overtime.

The son takes his girlfriend home: Mom, she is a very good girl, who can do laundry, cooking, cooking and housework. Mother: Well, I agree to hire her and let her come every Tuesday and Thursday.

Secretary: Have you been busy during my leave? Colleague: Nothing. Everyone shared your work. I read the newspaper, Xiao Zhang chatted on the phone, and Xiao Liu flirted with the boss.

One day, a gentleman's wife gave birth to a baby. He hurried to the hospital to visit. After waiting for n hours, there was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I am a father! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed. A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's cry came from the delivery room: It's all because of the killing that day. If you don't reply, you will get what you deserve.

Father: "Did the letter I asked you to bring this morning go into the report box?" Son: "Report? Oh, yes, you forgot to write your name, or I added it! "

At the military meeting of small countries, one person: Iraq is at war, so we should send them a tank. Second person: We should send them two tanks. Third person: Why don't you give them all three cars?

A group of people went camping at the seaside. On the way, one person kept eating fried soybeans. Everyone was afraid that his fart would "harm the whole life" and advised him not to eat any more. He said, "You will camp later and I will fry fish in the sea!" Dear, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing dramatically every day, because someone told me that "the price of pork has gone up, so you can get a good price!" "

The headmaster recognized one of his former students: Are you John? "Yes, headmaster." "You see, I never forget the names of students. What do you do now?" "Teaching under you"

When the family went to the theatre, they bought tickets upstairs, but their son always looked down on the railing. The father said to his mother, Don't let him fall, the first-class ticket is downstairs, and it will be troublesome to make up the ticket if he falls.

The church girl said to an old man, please donate some money for God. The old man waved his hand: Don't bother you. I'm sure I'll see God before you, and I'm going to give him the money directly then.

Patient: Doctor, are you convinced that I have pneumonia? Sometimes, doctors are treating pneumonia, but patients die of other diseases. The doctor smiled: When I was treating pneumonia, the patient died of pneumonia.

The shop sells pajamas with numbers. Clinton is very surprised. The salesman explains: If a flea bites you at night, you can say to your lover, "Levin, please scratch in the box 17."

Morrison bought a new pair of shoes but didn't wear them. A week later, the wife asked, "Why don't you wear those shoes?" "You can wear it tomorrow. When you buy it, the salesman said that these shoes will pinch a little in the first week."