Why do two people get along well? Most people don't think deeply, but everyone has a bloody lesson.
That is: mutual friendship = mutual usefulness.
Once useful to each other, once friends; It's useless to each other now, and everything in the past will be cleared.
Therefore, ordinary migrant workers should never find former playmates who are already "big officials". No matter how you recall the good times when you were young, the "big official" can't remember it.
I have a bosom friend who studied together and served as a soldier together. When I joined the work, he was still a rural youth who "picked the dike".
At that time, he talked to me about life and charming girls every night. Half of my salary was spent on him.
He has a quick mind and loves to toss and turn. First, married the fat daughter of an old cadre in the county, and solved the hukou and work; Then I worked hard and got promoted to "minor course".
After being laid off, I went to work in Shanghai. He is already an official cadre in the city. Later, because the communication tools were not as advanced as they are now, we lost contact.
When I went back to my hometown last year, I learned that he became a director and his wife changed three times. I asked for his phone number through someone else and added WeChat.
One day I told him on WeChat: I have been apart for too long, I miss it very much, and I am eager to meet.
There was no reply for one day, but nothing happened for two or three days. Four days later, I was looking forward to his reply: I'm busy, let's talk about it later when I have time.
Soon, my uncle passed away, and I was embarrassed to meet him who came to pay his respects. Didn't you say you were busy at work?
He generously came to shake my hand and patted me on the shoulder. I was just about to talk to him when my cousin in the distance waved and he ran past with a big smile on his face. Oh, what a big smile.
My cousin is a character. He works in Shanghai and has a better future than him.
Oh! I suddenly realized.
In fact, there are no friends between people. As long as they are useful to each other, there is no need to ask about their sources. We can pretend to be together, shake hands and pretend to have deep feelings.
In front of your former friends, you are of no use at all. You can't go back to the past with your deep childhood feelings, let alone expect to be understood and helped.
Now it is a snobbish society, and feelings and friendship have become scarce resources. Whether a friend is a bosom friend is not a question of eligibility.
In places where the status is equal, the temperament is the same, and both are useful, the two can hit it off and become so-called deep friends.
For the son of Lao Wang next door, don't worry about intimacy, because this is an invalid proposition.
We grew up in the 1970s. Although we are short of materials, we are sincere at heart, and we don't need to excuse ourselves when we speak or do things. We are free and happy.
Unfortunately, it's hard to go back to the past!
The so-called jokes and details made me see two people clearly.
I've known you for a year, and we have a good relationship. I spent the whole summer vacation with her little W before the placement. I have a very good relationship with Xiao W. Xiao F met him through Xiao W.
Although I like them all very much, if I like Xiao W better, because Xiao W and I hit it off as if we had known each other for a lifetime, she said that my first sentence would tell me what my next sentence was.
Xiao F, I like her personality a little more. She is cheerful, has friends everywhere, is warm, and is very popular in the crowd.
Coincidentally, I am in the same class as Xiao F, and I sit in the front and back positions at the beginning of school. Xiao W and Xiao F quarreled over a girl, and I was caught in the middle.
My contact with Xiao W is online, and I haven't met many times, but Xiao F is the opposite.
For a while, my relationship with Xiao F reached its peak, vaguely surpassing Xiao W.
But the story is always dramatic and has been turned upside down.
I changed my deskmate after the monthly exam. I was weak in math and English, so the class teacher transferred me to a girl who studied very well, Xiao G.
I didn't have any contact with Xiao G before, but I was deeply impressed. She was in poor health and applied for long-term sick leave. It is said that she was seriously ill and had an operation before. I saw her mother help her upstairs before.
Speaking of Xiao G, I can only say this: willfulness.
In fact, she satisfied all my good feelings for girls. She looks cute, writes well, is among the best in study, has excellent popularity, can play games, looks comfortable in study, and draws beautifully. She is a big boss.
Compared with her, I am nothing.
However, her character is really a bitch.
Often say something inexplicable to disgust me, and always pick up my things and stab me.
These three details are totally my fault.
There is a kind of person who eats my cooking and scolds the cook.
Little F has an incredible passion for little G, and later he developed into a dog licking.
Of course I'm unhappy.
You see, I've known you longer than Xiao G, and the relationship is so good. As a good little girl licking dogs, what are you doing?
Half sad and half jealous. I'm a super mom ...
Once, the teacher asked us to write our Chinese homework on paper, but the class representative didn't notice that we wrote most of it in physical education class, and Xiao F took a blank sheet of paper. Fifteen or six people asked her to copy, and I was the only one to accompany them.
There were a lot of people that day and I copied it for a long time.
Xiao F said to give you one. I'll keep Xiao G's and give it to her tomorrow.
Then I said stupidly, no, Xiao G asked me to get it for her. We are deskmates, so it is not convenient for you to give it to her.
Xiao F gave it to me very unhappily.
We walked home, and then she suddenly said to me, I don't want little G's money, I want yours.
I thought she was joking. I didn't trust her, so I asked why.
She told me seriously that Xiao G was good-looking.
I thought she was joking, and I gave a ha ha.
But she refuted me seriously. I didn't come out for fun.
Then I learned it for my cousin during the Spring Festival. My cousin said it was normal. I didn't say she said she never joked, so my cousin mistakenly thought I was too sensitive to this matter.
Actually, it is not. )
When I saw her off, I looked at the dark night sky and almost didn't cry.
Yes, I'm a bitch. I'm with you. You say such disgusting things to me.
She looks good. Can she eat as a meal?
Who gave you a birthday present? I'm a bookkeeper. I bought a bunch of beautiful notebooks, and I can't bear to use them. Then I reluctantly gave her one. Others may not understand, but I really have a clear conscience about her. )
She knows your birthday? She gave you a present?
Dad was at home because I came home too late. I called my mother several times and waited in the cold wind for a long time.
That's disgusting.
Later, I broke up with Xiao F and had a cold war for several days. Finally, I relented and made up with her.
But she poked me again and gave me a cold war.
What I can't stand most is that I almost tore it on the Internet the day before yesterday, and the next day I got into people's arms like a normal person.
Anyway, I love someone, and I hate her.
Finally, at last, she sprinkled some perfume on Xiao G's shampoo, and the smoked Xiao G coughed a math class, which made me numb.
Little G became dissatisfied with her.
Physical education class also told everyone in the world that Zhang San and Li Si had made Xiao G hate her even more.
Ah!
During lunch break, Xiao G complained to me that Xiao F was dishonest and dishonest, but rude, which made her lose face.
Said to stay away from her in the future
This is the legendary dog licking, right?
Write another little g. _(:з」∠)_
I once knew a girl at work, and we had a good relationship, which can be called the kind of girlfriends. Then she resigned and went back to her hometown to get married. Then I gave birth to a boy. After more than two years, she sent me a message saying that she wanted to work again and asked me to introduce her to work. Later, I introduced her to the place where I work now.
Her job is opposite to mine, and we commute together every day. Feelings are getting better and better. At that time, our boss was a man in his thirties. I usually take care of the employees below. I am also quite cheerful, and I will play jokes on us from time to time. Later, due to family reasons, I asked for leave to go home for half a month. When I came back from home, I found that my friend was different from before. She became particularly concerned about our boss's every move, as long as our boss spoke louder to her. She will cry for a long time. Another time she told me inexplicably that she especially hated our boss's wife.
At that time, I thought she seemed to like our boss, so I asked her. She told me that she really likes our boss. Because she was ill when I was on vacation. Our boss takes good care of her. So she must be with him. I told her that you both have family and children, so you can't be together. Even together, it will destroy the happiness of others. You are a third party. She said that as long as two people love each other, they are not a third party. She doesn't love her husband either. But our boss is not interested in her at all. He is very concerned about all his subordinates. We talked for a long time that day and finally broke up. After a while, she sent a message to our boss asking him to divorce his wife, or she would hang herself in front of his house. Later, our boss was harassed by her and couldn't stand it. He resigned and left. Then she resigned and left, and we gradually drifted apart.
The year before last, she sent me another message. Said she divorced her husband. The baby is hers, and she doesn't intend to get married in the future.
My wife and I run a Hunan restaurant.
My wife has several friends who often come to dinner, female, with rich backgrounds. But every time I come to dinner, I never take the initiative to pay the bill. And asked me to open good wine. After eating, I patted my ass and left, leaving us to clean up. We are thin-skinned, and we have never pursued them hard. If we ask them, we forget to pay the bill again. Next time we buy together, the result is not to buy. In fact, it costs us to open a shop and do business. Not to mention the cost of food, wine, tableware and cleaning, it is a very tiring thing. Every time they come, they drink until late, and we have to stay with them. In fact, if we can take the initiative to pay the bill, we will also give the most favorable discount, only hoping to recover a cost. Besides, if you have dinner together, you can eat it for free or treat you, but you can't rape and not pay the bill, just like eating the king's meal. Out of the courtesy of friends, we are always served delicious drinks, but such friends not only don't understand the hard work of cooking, but also feel at ease. My wife is always sad after reading it, but she can't say anything because of her feelings. So we know that such friends will always be fair-weather friends and stay away from them.
Dear Ten Bao Xiao:
Mom wants to tell you a story.
Mommy had a friend before, and her financial condition was not very good. So I go out to eat, most of them are my guests, and I often take her home to cook various foods for her.
Her English is not good and she loves to travel, so I will take her with me when I travel abroad. I'll do the raiders, book air tickets and hotels, and I'll be responsible for external communication. She just needs to bring herself.
After this for several times, one day I will go to Hong Kong to buy a present for your father.
I don't know Cantonese and I'm not familiar with the roads in Hong Kong, so I want to take her who knows Cantonese with me.
She told me explicitly that she wouldn't go.
I asked her in surprise: What are you going to do this weekend? So next week?
Her answer is: nothing, I just don't want to go.
After listening to this sentence, I gave her two eyes. From then on, I decided to stay away from this girl.
Bao Xiao, when you are old enough to make friends, you will always meet some people who take your contribution for granted. No matter how good you are to him, no matter how moved he was at that time, he will openly refuse when he needs to pay in the future.
Because at that time, he didn't think of you, he always thought of himself.
Such people may be fair-weather friends, not close friends.
2
Some time ago, Mommy bought you a white tiger's hat and tail. You love it.
I will take you to the clinic one day. You want to show your beautiful tail to your dermatologist Maria, but you don't take good care of the food in your hand. Dad asked you if you wanted a tail, and you shook your head.
When you got on the bus, you began to whisper that you wanted a white tail after dinner, and I stopped you.
When you come home at night, you lie under the quilt and chat with me, asking me what Maria said about you.
I said Maria praised your good English.
You said you didn't show Maria your white tail.
I tell you: the white tiger's tail is very beautiful. But it's a beautiful tail. Anyone looks good in it, not you. So it doesn't matter if you don't take it to see Maria.
You said doubtfully, but I will bring my beauty, that's fine.
Yes, I rubbed your forehead. You wear it beautifully, but you can't be beautiful because of it. You can talk to Maria in English. She praised you, not her tail. You know, you deserve more praise than the tail. Aren't you beautiful without a tail?
You thought about it and shook your head: beautiful, too.
Having said that, I have to spit out that Libra is really persistent about beauty.
Mommy doesn't object to using luxury goods, although I don't use them much myself.
We must admit that in many things, a penny is worth a penny, and most good things are not cheap.
You can enjoy the beauty and enjoyment brought by things, but you can't be disturbed by external things.
Things are just for use. We are happier with them, and it doesn't matter without them.
Those who cling to things and scratch their hearts and lungs because they can't get things are not smart people.
You will always meet people who like to compare with others, but never compare themselves with foreign things.
Men compare mobile phones to cars, while women compare clothes, jewelry and cosmetics.
Such people can chat together, but they can't make friends, because their lives are too boring.
Nothing they compare is their own. They are all designed, manufactured and sold by others. I really don't understand, but people who pay for it have nothing to be proud of.
three
In the post that Mommy wrote to you some time ago about the four conditions for finding a wife, someone replied to me: Don't expect anything. Parents brought back by their sons generally don't like it.
For mommy, whether I like it or not has nothing to do with me.
I'll tell you in the morning. You should know. As for the result, it is your decision to choose who.
Everyone's fate is just a decision of one intersection after another.
I can't interfere in your life and destiny, that's your own business.
Just as a teacher who teaches you theorems and methods can't take your place in the examination room.
You are responsible for your own life.
To be clear, each has its own destiny. This is my attitude towards you.
So do the people we meet. You should explain your reason to others.
When someone has the intention to test your bottom line, you should tell him frankly at once, that's my bottom line, don't step on it.
Everyone has different requirements for the bottom line. Sometimes the bottom line that you think is clear may not be so clear in the other person's eyes.
Or, in your opinion, some things can't be repeated.
But for some people, he will think that since you were not angry the first time or the second time, how about a few more times?
The result of a few more visits is that you can't bear to kick this person out of your interpersonal circle. The other party is still confused and doesn't know where the situation is serious.
As the old saying goes, the ugly words are ahead.
Apart from some well-known rules, if something is unacceptable to you, it is good for both of you to tell each other in advance where your minefield is.
But for those who know where your minefield is and step on it, forget it. Blow him up so that he can never come near you again.
The most important and only thing to get along with people is to make sure that you get along well with this person.
In our life, there are not many people we can love and few important people. Catch them.
As for the rest, let it be. Being together means being apart. There's no need to force yourself.
When I saw him break his word to another friend!
I once followed a so-called "big brother", of course, not in the black society, but a friend at work. He told me that I had resources and could give full play to my strengths and let me join his new project of cooperation with others. Because we usually have a good relationship, I am a little skeptical about what he said, but I didn't say anything. I'm just saying that I can help, but I can't go full time. You can always help if you have something to do, and you can go after you finish what you are doing. Later, I helped to do a lot of research, made a business plan, a feasibility report, and worked out several schemes. And then went to some places to help register the company. During this period, he found a friend's relative to be the chief technical engineer, but he was the chief technical engineer for his brother's company and worked part-time after-sales. At that time, the eldest brother asked the chief technical engineer to come full-time. At that time, the chief technical engineer said: "After all, it is his brother's business. You can't just leave. Although the salary is high, we are still relatives here, let's wait. " Then you promise to help me first, and you can come when the company is officially operating, and you don't need money in the early stage. But this big brother was afraid that the chief technician wouldn't help him with his work, so he verbally agreed to 10000 yuan a month, and then he was on call ~ The technical big brother was also really on call, helping to deal with many things, establishing many interpersonal relationships and making a lot of technical preparations. As a result, one day, eldest brother said that the project was not done and needed to be transformed, which meant that the chief technical engineer was worthless. At that time, the promised 10000 yuan was not given, and the technical eldest brother was still busy for a long time with the help of people. Later, the chief technical engineer found the eldest brother, who cheated and didn't give money. Big brother also showed off to me, saying that he would not give him money, which was awesome. At that time, I really didn't think what was awesome. At that time, there was a particularly uncomfortable feeling, but I couldn't say anything about working for someone. It didn't take long for the big brother to play with me and disappeared. He owes me a month's salary and several thousand yuan for reimbursement, more than 10 thousand (the point is that I worked as a part-time freelancer for half a year before I went to him, and I didn't spend a penny). He didn't answer the phone and sent WeChat, so he was a missing person. Later, I was anxious. In the circle of friends, we have many friends and many bosses know him. I sent a message directly to diss him, and then I replied, threatening me that there were people in both black and white, and I couldn't take advantage of anything.
I regret it too. Seeing the fate of brother technology, I should know my own fate. I should get ready early, otherwise I am too young to trust others.
So when you see a friend doing something cynical to others, such a friend must not be close, because you may think your relationship is better, but in his view, just chips are not enough. If you have enough chips, you are absolutely non-negotiable.
Here I want to vomit my roommate (I feel uncomfortable and want to find a place to say it).
There are four bunk beds in our school. At the beginning of freshman year, someone cleaned according to the duty table, and now I'm the only one cleaning. One of my roommates doesn't have any friends (he feels a little lonely), so I try my best to take him with me. Because he is a road idiot (the kind who gets lost at school), he will stay at school until his father picks him up. Once he said he wanted to go home, so I sent him to the station. I felt sick in my stomach these days, so I took a bus for two hours to see him off and said thank you (smile). Usually, we share a trash can. He uses it more than I do, but he never takes out the garbage. Once I asked him why you didn't take out the garbage. His answer is: you are different from me. Later, I asked the same question, and his second answer was: I am dirty.
From then on, I don't want to be close to him, just be an ordinary friend, the kind that doesn't need to pay.
As the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Usually icing on the cake is unreliable, and the truth can only be seen if you send charcoal in the snow.
I have a classmate who used to get along well with me at school and later worked. He often asks me for things, and I have helped him. Later, I went to work in other places, and my mother was at home alone. One day, I suddenly called home and needed help urgently. I immediately thought of my good friend and called him to ask him for help. I promised on the phone that I would be fine, but I didn't help me at all. Later, I found someone else and did a good job. I also sent him greetings on WeChat during the Spring Festival, but he didn't reply. Do you think this friend can still get along? You should help him. He doesn't even have a door to help you. It's not fun to shave your head and carry your load.
Another classmate once lived in a dormitory and got along well. Later, he went to work in Shanghai. Every time he comes back, everyone gets together. I invited him to dinner, and everyone accompanied me. He had to walk to the railway station and bought him something. I paid the taxi fare. Later, I also went to work in Shanghai, because I was not familiar with the environment just now, and I wanted him to rent a house for me. After all, he has been in Shanghai for many years, at least he knows me well. I didn't answer the phone, and I didn't send me a text message. It was like disappearing out of thin air. I have no choice but to find another classmate to rent it for me. This classmate is not very close to me at ordinary times. I didn't expect to help me at a critical moment. I am very grateful to him. But that classmate, who can't see it at ordinary times, didn't see the truth until he dropped the chain at a critical moment. I finally deleted him completely.
In interpersonal communication, some friends can make you gain energy, and some friends will only waste you all the time. When a relationship has become a burden, then decisive termination is the best choice. Your close friends must be people with similar views. When you are excited about small things, he can understand your joy; When you are confused and frustrated, he can understand your regrets and even help you laugh; When you insist on something that others think is unimportant, he can cheer for you ... you will be comfortable with people with the same three views. On the contrary, making friends with people with different views is like casting pearls before swine.
Sincere friends don't need to keep in touch. Most importantly, it is not common to miss each other, but there is also a feeling of tacit understanding. This is a true friend. Stop those so-called friends who are absent-minded and perfunctory, and don't waste time on them.
There are so many details, I can give you tens of thousands of words, but the strength is not allowed!
Share a little thing about my subordinates in the last two weeks. See the characters for details. I am engaged in the internet industry and am in charge of a project of our company in our city. There are about 5-8 people in the project. Except for me and two colleagues before I came, everyone else is the human resources of the company. Help me find my resume according to my requirements. I will interview and decide whether to stay. My colleague is the one I interviewed. When I interviewed him, his resume was particularly beautiful, and he also brought many beautifully packaged works of his own. The first impression is particularly good. The whole interview lasted about 45 minutes. He talked with Kan Kan calmly and generously, and his professional ability fully met my requirements.
At that time, I thought this young man was excellent. I called HR after the interview and left him. A week later, he joined the company normally. Coincidentally, on the first day of employment, our leader came from Hangzhou company headquarters on business and asked me to help buy some local specialties. I readily agreed, the leader has always taken care of me, and I will do my best as the landlord.
Because my leader and I are going out on a business trip, I thought I brought my new colleague as soon as he arrived, just to give him a chance to get in touch with and know the leader. Because the leader is still upstairs cleaning up, I will wait in the car downstairs with him, while waiting for me, while the contact person buys something for the leader. As a result, my new colleague said that he happened to have a very close friend. When I said that it was good, I bought it by the way, which is credible. I saw the photos, and the things were good and the packaging was good, so I asked him to contact and buy them.
Just then, the leader came down, and he quickly got off the bus to help the leader open the door. Because I have been in contact with the leader for a long time, we are all of the same age, so I am not so particular about it, waiting in the car. He greeted the leader, helped open the car door, and said smoothly, "I thought you needed some time." I just bought it for you? " ! When I said this, it was so casual, natural and casual, like a breeze blowing in my face, but I was shocked at that time. I didn't expect him to tell people in front of the leader that he was helping him buy things. I didn't expect him to take credit. I didn't expect his contribution to be so natural ... but I just kept it in mind and didn't care.
Have dinner with the leader in the evening, just the two of us. He asked me, will you let me? Help with shopping? Because I found out at that time, I was a little psychologically prepared unconsciously, so I told the leader the whole story very neatly, and the leader was relieved twice. I think this matter is over.
Later, when the leader left, he called me to be careful. , he is not simple. I was petrified at that time, and that tiny detail was really the spring breeze blowing willow branches, how could I have such a skill! I didn't ask the leader's colleague if there was anything else that made him care. If there is, he is really something. I am inseparable from the leader. He even has something I don't know. If nothing else, then the details are amazing!
Later, it turned out that my colleague was really a master of flattery, so I won't go into details here. I wish you fewer villains and more intimate friends.
I agree that the workplace is a place of great interest, but I absolutely disagree that the workplace is a sacred place where you can use and collude with each other at will. At least, in our small team, besides the pressure of work, it should be that everyone is United and happy. Life is not easy, so why bother yourself. So I have decided to let him find his own world as soon as his probation period is over. He is a great man, but he is not suitable for our environment.
Code words are not easy, please save it!
This question reminds me of a long-time friend who has broken up now. I deleted her WeChat and blocked her message. I'm going to never contact her again!
She is my college alumnus. Our dormitory is very close, and it is not easy to meet a fellow villager nearby when we study in other provinces. So we often play together, and their dormitory is not very popular, so we have a good relationship with our dormitory! It can be said that after playing together for four years, I think the relationship is still good. After graduation, she stayed in the province where the school was located and got married, while I went back to my hometown. This is the background!
Usually we communicate through WeChat and occasionally praise each other's circle of friends. After having children, she likes to bask in the baby in the circle. At that time, she showed a video of a nearly 2-year-old child standing on a stool, grabbing food on the table and carrying plates. I feel bad when I see it, because I have my own children, and I think it is unacceptable for me to do so.
I replied to her: It is impolite to advise the child not to grab what everyone eats together, but to put it in his bowl and let him grab it by himself. At that time, she retorted that it was not good to label children impolitely. I immediately apologized and said that suggestions were the most unpleasant after all. I wouldn't say it if I were anyone else, but I think I have a good relationship with her! She also said it's okay.