Chapter 12 How to Turn a Child's Shortcomings into Advantages

Because the mother will always remind him of the shortcomings to be corrected, the child will know it himself. However, a child with high self-demand will always worry about his own shortcomings, so his mother's direct scolding will often have the opposite effect and make him less confident.

the first move is to make children face up to their shortcomings in an appropriate way

the second move is to blame other children's faults in front of them

the third move is to distinguish whether they are shortcomings or personalities

the fourth move is to change the child's position and make him self-disciplined

the fifth move is to exchange the shortcomings and advantages of children

the sixth move indirectly eliminates the insatiability of children

The seventh move uses the implied effect of moderate punishment or threats

. Disadvantages of children

The ninth measure does not need authority to suppress children's resistance

The tenth measure encourages children to "do more than they can chew"

The eleventh measure, children can do it

Children with inattention will have other problems besides being active or in a daze. First of all, he will have some psychological problems because of being rejected by his peers. His excessive tension and excess energy will not only annoy adults, but also make friends of the same age leave him. He will soon feel inferior to others and will soon lose his self-esteem. Second, he is likely to have problems in his studies during his school days. His attention time is very short, so it is difficult to sit in his seat and concentrate on the class, so he will influence and interfere with others, and even bring harm to other children.

what is the solution? Here are some useful suggestions to parents from Dr. Du, an American doctor who specializes in children with "attention deficit":

1. Adhere to consistent rules and disciplines.

2. Keep your voice calm and slow. It is normal for you to be angry when the child has done something wrong, but it can also be controlled.

3. Anticipate that the child may get into trouble and make preparations; Try to keep your emotions calm when trouble comes.

4. Acknowledge and react to any positive behavior, even if it is small; If you look for good things in children without prejudice, you will find some.

5. Avoid frequently using negative language, such as "No", "Stop" and "No".

6. Distinguish the children's bad habits from the children themselves. For example, you can say to your child, "I like you, but I don't like your disobedience."

7. Make a very clear schedule for children. Set a timetable for getting up, eating, playing, watching TV and going to bed. Observe the time schedule, but be flexible when children don't observe the time. After a period of time, your schedule will become your child's own habit.

8. When you teach him new things, be patient, explain briefly and clearly, and repeat your requirements frequently.

9. Try to set aside a space for children in the room, avoid decorating with bright and strong colors, and keep the room simple and tidy. Put the desk under an empty wall to keep it away from interference, which is good for children's concentration.

11, only do one thing at a time. Store toys in a box with a lid. Give him only one toy at a time. If the child is drawing or reading, you should turn off the radio or TV. Multiple stimuli will make him unable to concentrate.

11. Giving children certain responsibilities is very important in the process of growing up. The task entrusted to him should be within his power. Once he has completed the task, he should acknowledge and praise it even if it is not satisfactory.

12. Only one friend is allowed to come home to play at a time. You should be responsible for supervising their activities.

13. Don't pity, ridicule or excessively indulge your child, and don't be intimidated by your child. He will learn well in the end.

14. Talk with your child's teacher about educational methods that are beneficial to your child.

1. How to make children feel that learning is easy

(1) First, let children do "what they can do"

◎ When children are not confident, let them do the problems they have done before quietly.

◎ It is helpful to conquer the lessons that you are not good at.

◎ Focus on one subject and experience the feeling of perfect score.

◎ feel the successful experience outside of study.

(2) Make children's impression of learning no longer "pain" and "darkness"

◎ Reduce children's learning pressure through psychological adjustment.

◎ It's best to say "Don't be forced!" Instead of saying "learn".

◎ If children are allowed to study for 1 hours every day, there should be a requirement of 2 hours at the beginning.

◎ Use propositional rather than imperative.

◎ Don't ask your child "Are you studying or playing?" Instead, you should ask your child, "When do you want to start studying?"

◎ Let children who watch TV all day choose whether to run errands or study at home?

◎ The child just doesn't study, so you might as well ask him (her) whether to rest or study.

(3) Add "games" to learning

◎ Eliminate children's resistance to learning.

◎ Introducing fun games into learning.

◎ finding faults for others can make children keen on doing exercises.

◎ "Interesting stationery" can be a "promoter" for children's learning.

◎ allocate study time reasonably.

◎ Let the children who are procrastinating choose to study by drawing lots.

(4) Combine daily life with study

◎ Making a family travel plan for a child may make him or her fall in love with geography.

◎ Letting a child learn newspaper clippings may make him or her pay attention to politics and news.

◎ Take the children to visit the museum.

◎ The whole family should study together at least once a day.

◎ Pay attention to what you can't learn in class.

◎ When walking, shopping and visiting friends, turn into the bookstore and browse the books.

◎ The 45-minute attention needed for study is obtained through daily life training.

◎ Parents may wish to send books that exceed their children's reading ability occasionally.

2. Tips to make children want to learn

(1) Adjust children's learning mentality

◎ After the new semester comes, change all school supplies.

◎ Prepare all kinds of writing tools for children.

◎ change the "new feeling" learning environment.

◎ If you feel that your child is tired of studying, let him (her) try to change a course.

◎ Try to make a "no-school time".

◎ after major exams, encourage children by entertaining them.

(2) Cultivate children's favorite lessons into good subjects

◎ Posting cartoons and advertising pictures in the room can also make children interested in learning.

◎ Let the child collect newspaper clippings on issues he or she cares about.

◎ "Giving books" to children will stimulate their expert consciousness.

◎ Getting to the bottom of what children like is helpful for children to form the habit of investigation and research.

◎ Cultivate children's good subjects by using the good subjects of family education.

◎ Let children have their own pet or flowerpot, which is helpful to improve their observation ability.

(3) A small thing may make children willing to sit down and study

◎ Rooms, desks, lighting, encyclopedias and reference books will become opportunities for children to love learning.

◎ Let the child put his precious collection in his drawer.

◎ When children study, dim the surrounding light and only light a desk lamp at the desk.

◎ writing big words and sticking them on the wall helps to create a memory atmosphere.

◎ Scatter books in every room of the house to create a learning atmosphere.

◎ Let children write a few lines of diary before going to bed, which can help children develop good study habits.

(4) Make children like schools and teachers

◎ Eliminate the additional factors that children don't like learning.

◎ Don't force children to take out their report cards.

◎ even if the score is low, find out what can be praised.

◎ Let the child wear his "fancy" clothes and bring his (her) favorite items to school.

◎ When family members eat together, they praise a teacher quietly.

(5) Help children to cheer up from depression

◎ Children's achievements should not be viewed as "one joy and one worry", but as "both suffering and pleasure".

◎ When a child fails, find a "companion" to comfort him or her.

◎ Children should be encouraged to look to the future even if they fail in the exam.

◎ Children should be comforted when they are slightly depressed. This is just the charging period for the next leap.

3. Help children find the key to learning smoothly

(1) Let children feel that learning is so easy

◎ Books printed in large letters can improve children's reading speed.

◎ Try to select as thin a problem set or extracurricular exercise book as possible.

◎ Choose reference books and problem sets that can see the answers immediately.

◎ In the room, we should not only make a schedule, but also draw a red circle to make a "completion table".

◎ pile up children's used books and workbooks in a conspicuous position to increase their sense of accomplishment.

(2) Help children adjust their learning order

◎ If they study for 2 hours, they will change one kind of learning content every half hour.

◎ Avoid boring and monotonous sea tactics.

◎ When a child does exercises, he (she) is deliberately stopped to make his (her) memory deep.

◎ After 31 minutes of music, let the children study.

◎ After the child finishes learning, let him (her) look at the beginning of the next learning content.

◎ It is best not to let children study immediately after meals.

(3) Improve learning efficiency

◎ Let children do some preparatory work such as sharpening pencils, sorting out textbooks and preparing manuscript paper before learning begins.

◎ If you want your child to start learning, clean up his or her study with your child.

◎ Don't scold children for playing with pens or biting their fingers at the table.

◎ Let the child learn from the lessons he or she loves to learn.

(4) Concentrated learning method

◎ When children have to learn, it is better to set the end time than the start time.

◎ Set the time for homework before the start of TV programs that children like to watch.

◎ Set the learning end time with the alarm clock.

◎ Holidays let children play until it is too late to do their homework.

◎ Let children pay attention to the effective time limit when making family study plans.

4. Establish self-confidence that children can learn well

(1) Let children know that they can do many small things

◎ Praise children more on small things.

◎ Encourage children to study when they are having fun.

◎ Find the learning-related skills that children are good at, and guide children to pay attention to these skills.

◎ Choose the little things that children can learn and experience the taste of success.

◎ If the child is extremely tired of learning, praise his or her personality and hobbies that have nothing to do with learning.

(2) Let others tell their children for themselves

◎ Let others say that it is fresh for children if they are tired of listening.

◎ Let the children's grandparents teach them.

◎ Praise children in front of friends and neighbors.

◎ Let the child study with his/her peers, and he/she will have to study.

(3) Make full use of the child's rebellious psychology

◎ Deliberately goad the child and said to the child: You can't do this.

◎ wasting.

5. Four ways to arouse interest in learning

(1) Interest suggestion method

For those subjects that you don't like, you can use interest suggestion method.

For example, in mathematics, before studying, first warm up, rubbing your hands, smiling, looking at mathematics, and saying loudly, "Mathematics, I will like you from today!" "Lovely math, I'm going to be interested in you." "Teaching, I will learn you with great interest!"

Hint at yourself loudly before learning math every time. If you persist for three weeks, or even longer, these languages will go deep into the subconscious. Once you enter the subconscious, your interest in math will really be established.

Many students who are not interested in learning will have unpleasant emotions, even boredom and fear as soon as they pick up books, thus closing their spiritual doors, resulting in low learning efficiency and even ineffectiveness.

When you are rubbing your hands and smiling at yourself, you will feel a sense of pleasure. Boredom and fear will be swept away, and the door of your heart will gradually open, so that the knowledge you want to learn will be easily absorbed.

As students, learning is our duty. If we can't change the curriculum, we have to change ourselves and our attitude towards learning. Pain is learning, and happiness is learning. Why don't we choose to learn happily?

When learning Chinese, I hint to myself: "I am very happy to learn Chinese well, and I am full of interest in Chinese."

when learning mathematics, I suggest to myself: "I am very happy to learn mathematics well, and I am full of interest in mathematics."

this method can be applied to any course. When you study happily, you have become attached to your interest.

(2) self-confidence enhancement method

People often succeed because of self-confidence and often fail because of lack of self-confidence. Emerson, a thinker in the 19 th century, said; "If you believe that you can, you will be invincible. Napoleon even said,' In my dictionary, there is no such word as' impossible'. "It is not the word that made him travel to the north and sweep across the European continent.

In fact, many students just lack the confidence to learn a certain course well, which leads to fear and loss of interest. Therefore, to build up their interest in learning, we can start with enhancing their self-confidence, with the following specific steps;

① imagine what you have achieved, and try to remember that sense of accomplishment in order to gain interest in learning.

② Pleasant things always arouse interest. So try to think of happy things, such as "I will learn another 11 words today" and "I learned how to solve equations today", so that I can know that today is beyond yesterday and establish the belief that "doing more every day is the beginning of success".

(3) Making things real

Dale Carnegie has a famous saying; "If you pretend to be interested in your job, then this attitude will make your interest real and eliminate fatigue." This kind of experience can be well applied to the rise and cultivation of learning; If you are not interested in a certain course or study, you can train yourself to pretend to be interested in it and stick to it, which will certainly have good results.

first, train yourself to smile. Don't frown when you face the course you don't like. Let yourself smile and be happy from the bottom of your heart to keep a sense of happiness.

Then, announce it in affirmative and short sentences; I like you very much! ""I'm very interested in you! "

If you persist in this way for a period of time, you will get rid of the sense of exclusion in your heart. You will really become interested. This method does not mean "getting everything you want", nor does it mean that I can do whatever I want. It requires you to start immediately after you have an interest in learning, and make in-depth research to turn this interest into motivation for in-depth learning.