The morality of "three obedience" has evolved from mourning system to interpersonal domination and obedience, which corresponds to the "three cardinal guides" advocated by the Han Dynasty-"the father is the child's guide" and "the husband is the wife's guide", which is extended to the relationship between men and women.
"Obey" has multiple meanings-obey, follow, obey and follow. Women who are required to abide by the morality of "three obedience" cannot be independent (objectifying women), but must act according to their father's orders, husband's orders and son's wishes, so as to be filial to women, virtuous to their wives and virtuous to their mothers.
"Obeying the father without marriage" means asking the unmarried "housemaid" to listen to their parents, and "not disobeying their father's orders" means "filial piety" (according to Confucius' explanation, "pro" refers to parents, but also "filial piety"); Daughter filial piety, in addition to taking care of daily life, but also to stand up when her father is in danger. For example, Emperor Wendi of the Western Han Dynasty persuaded Wendi to abolish corporal punishment, and her father was spared from sin. In the Eastern Han Dynasty, Cao E drowned to save his father from drowning (there is a "Cao E Monument" in history to commend Cao E's filial piety). Obeying "parents' orders" in lifelong marriage is also a manifestation of "obedience" and filial piety.
Married and married
"Married husband" means that a woman who marries as a wife must obey her husband's orders. A gentle and virtuous wife refers to an auxiliary husband.
"Being a husband" begins with a woman's marriage, and the ceremony of marriage is "handsome men and beautiful women, women follow men, and the meaning of husband and wife begins from now on"; The mother told her daughter that "it doesn't violate the master." When you go to your husband's family, you get kinship terms (such as daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, sister-in-law, etc. ) according to your husband's seniority and age. The wife regards her husband as "heaven", "destiny cannot escape, and her husband's life cannot be violated", so she must obey and respect her husband, and he will sing along with her. Meng Guang in the Han Dynasty, for example, was known as "treating her husband as a distinguished guest".
Wives and wives also need to perform filial piety on behalf of their husbands, serve the daily life of their in-laws, and have children for their husbands; Since the Song Dynasty, "nurturing husband and educating children" has become the most important duty of women. "Being a husband" means being loyal to her husband and keeping chastity. After her husband died, she didn't serve him or even become a martyr. In the Spring and Autumn Period, her husband was captured by the State of Chu, and the King of Chu forced her to be his wife. She died unsatisfied and became a model for history books to praise chastity. The official recognition of chastity in past dynasties has become a system, which has led to some women's self-mutilation. Even before her husband was about to die of illness and death, wives and concubines died early to show their loyalty to her husband.
Husband is dead, follow son.
"When the husband dies, the child follows", that is, after the husband dies, a woman must obey her son's orders. A good wife and a good mother refer to raising and assisting her son. Is the continuation of the woman's husband, the father died and the son inherited. Essence: honorable people are humble, humble people respect them, and honorable people in turn respect humble people.
Used to prevent the prince from being manipulated by his consorts after he was a minor and the female emperor from appearing.
Evolution of four virtues
The "Four Virtues" were originally the cultivation and accomplishment of the four necessary qualities of court women-morality, speech, tolerance and skill, which included the four traditional educational contents of "women's studies", so Confucianism called it "four teachings" and also called "four lines". Originated from the education of women in the court, it belongs to "Yin Li" (the etiquette that women abide by) and "Yin Duty" (the responsibility that women bear), and soon expanded to the upper-class families to undertake the cultivation of women's roles.
When the girl was ten years old, she was educated by a female teacher at home-teaching "gentle delivery, obedience" (morality, speech, forbearance, pliancy and obedience), holding hemp (spinning hemp thread, ancient clothes were mostly hemp, ge and silk), treating silkworm cocoons, weaving and making clothes, and learning a series of jobs (work, weaving, sewing and preparation) three months before marriage. After the training is completed, a sacrificial ceremony will be held to make the woman obedient.
It can be seen that "four virtues" serve the morality of "three obedience". The "four virtues" were later summarized as requirements for all women. According to Zheng Xuan's explanation, "women's virtue is chastity, women's words are rhetoric, women's capacity is gentle delivery, and women's work is diaosi." Later generations have been making new explanations.
Feminine morality
Women's virtue is the most important one in women's education, and Zheng Xuan's chastity obedience is the core of women's virtue. "Chastity" means sticking to chastity, keeping a clean body and being loyal to her husband. "Shun" means "obedience and obedience" in the Book of Rites, and it is polite to in-laws, husbands and even family members.
Ban Zhao, a female educator in the Han Dynasty, especially pointed out in "Women's Commandments" that "women's morality does not have to be exclusive" (meaning that there is no need to have special talents, which is the original basis of the catchphrase "women without talents are virtuous" in the Ming Dynasty), and that she has women's morality. Ban Zhao pays more attention to the cultivation of women's moral quality. By the end of the Qing Dynasty, the standard of "women's morality" was more specific and detailed, and there were detailed norms for women in different situations and roles: as wives, husbands and uncles (in-laws) should be obedient and gentle, and as wives, they should "get rid of jealousy" and help their husbands take concubines; As a mother, you should be able to "teach your son" and "be kind to your stepmother"; When you get along with your family, you should "get along with your uncle and sister (brother-in-law and sister-in-law)" and "get along in harmony". If the family is poor, it must be "poor", rich and frugal. It also includes "respect for the body", "loyalty", "chastity" and "revenge" ... with a series of virtues.
Women's words
At first, out of fear that "a woman with a glib tongue will subvert the country", the ethical code stipulated the words of women. In The Book of Songs, Zhou Youwang was scolded and praised as "the eldest daughter is arrogant" (a gossip is the chief culprit of national subjugation). However, speaking is also a necessary accomplishment and skill. Zheng Xuan's explanation of "women's talk" is "rhetoric", which means being good at coping and speaking appropriately. Ban Zhao thinks that "women's words" don't need to be glib and eloquent, just consider whether the words are appropriate, don't hurt people with ugly words, don't grab words, don't say more, and don't be annoying. If a big family hates women, it will sow discord among family members, and a talkative woman will be punished, which constitutes one of the "seven extinctions".
Lan Dingyuan's "Women's Studies" gave concrete and positive guidance to "women's words", saying that "women's words are not expensive, but expensive (appropriate)". Various occasions need different appropriate words, such as encouraging husbands, teaching children, euphemistically advising, being conscientious, showing wisdom, avoiding disasters and so on. Therefore, "women's words" need the cultivation of wisdom and knowledge.
Women's ability
Confucianism has special standards for women's appearance modification. Confucius advocated valuing virtue over color, and asked her husband to be "virtuous and easy to change color" because he valued his wife's character rather than beauty. The requirement for women's appearance is to emphasize simplicity and decoration, while "smelting capacity" is close to "teaching prostitution" (deliberately dressing up is equal to tempting men's temperament desire).
Zheng Xuan's explanation of women's appearance is "elegant delivery", which means gentle expression. Ban Zhao believes that women's appearance does not mean beautiful colors, but in daily life, for women's appearance, "washing away dirt, wearing fresh and clean, taking a bath in time, not dirty and not insulting"-that is, diligent in sweeping the floor, neatly dressed, taking a bath on time, paying attention to hygiene, is in line with women's appearance standards.
Lan Dingyuan's requirements for women's appearance focus on the practicality of different occasions, such as "women's appearance should be dignified and respectful, children should be gentle and respectful", "respect for husband", etc., when pregnant, dignified, sorrowful and restrained when mourning, calm and calm when avoiding chaos, and die hard when necessary.
Work undertaken by women
The "women workers" in the four virtues of women's studies refer to the labor and work that women are engaged in. The gender division of labor is that the male is the master and the female is the master, so the standard of "female worker" has not changed much for thousands of years-picking mulberry and sericulture, spinning and weaving, feeding and preparing wine pulp in the process of doing business; I have to support my in-laws and husband, have children and entertain guests; There is also the important work of preparing sacrificial supplies and assisting sacrificial ceremonies.
Ban Zhao believes that "women's work does not need skills" and "it is not funny to concentrate on spinning performance; Eating and drinking to entertain guests is called a woman's job. " However, for family needs, smart wives have always been praised, while "lazy" and "stupid" women are the objects of condemnation and ridicule. Lan Dingyuan also divided the order and purpose, saying, "Women workers should weave silkworms first and then feed them; Support, sacrifice-learn from each other's efforts ... "
In fact, women's contribution to women's work is not only an important guarantee for family continuity, but also an important source of national tax revenue in past dynasties. In ancient times, there was an idiom that "a husband doesn't farm the world hungry, and a woman doesn't weave the world cold". Ban Gu pointed out in Hanshu Shihuozhi that women get together at night.
summary
With regard to "three obedience and four virtues", we should first see that these requirements and norms for women came into being in a specific era, out of a certain need, and also changed with the changes of society. After the establishment of patriarchal marriage and family in the Zhou Dynasty and the clear boundaries between men and women, there appeared a moral code of "three obedience" that required women to obey their fathers, husbands and children, that is, the female role in the family was subordinate to men. The "four virtues" are the etiquette, manners and operational skills that women must have to practice the moral goal of "three obedience". Under the influence of Confucian culture, the interaction of "three obedience" morality, the promotion and cultivation of "four virtues" and the intimidation and punishment of "seven out" rules gradually disciplined the virtues of traditional women.
With the passage of time, the male control over women gradually gave way to the husband's power, and the interests of the husband's family were higher than those of the father's family, with more emphasis on silence and sacrifice for women, more detailed rules and regulations, and more costs paid for women. However, we should also see that under the overall cultural framework of Confucianism, "three obedience and four virtues" emphasize "obedience from the father" and also need to obey the mother; It is emphasized that as a husband, a wife is also "equal to her husband." Especially the promotion of "filial piety culture", the filial piety of sons to their mothers, especially widowed mothers, is unique in China. Confucian filial piety, under the concept of "housework is a woman's business", many men don't ask about housework and say that they love their mothers, but they have never done anything for them; Coupled with the concept of "making a living by a husband", when she got married, she automatically acquiesced that her wife was the labor force in her family of origin, so she thought that she had the responsibility to continue to enjoy the fruits of her mother's labor, and her daughter-in-law had the responsibility to compensate her mother for her hard work. As for the "four virtues", we should pay attention to women's moral appearance and rhetoric accomplishment, if we can change them into new era content today (for example, "virtue" focuses on civilized manners, "speech" and "merit" focuses on the cultivation of talents and creativity, and "tolerance" focuses on proper decoration without deliberate makeup and beauty, etc.). ), it is also of great reference significance.
New three obedience and four virtues
The new three followers refer to the world, love and self; The new four virtues refer to the virtues of gentleness and martial arts, gentle speech, both character and knowledge, and self-cultivation.
Looking at the world: we should look at the development of the whole situation from a macro perspective. Under globalization, the competition between countries is more intense. The rise of China plays an important role in the international arena. Although Hong Kong is an international city, its relationship with China is inseparable.
From love: love should be used to solve contradictions in family, work and social life.
Self-respect: people have self-knowledge, avoid their shortcomings, promote their strengths, and thus accurately locate their own life coordinates.
Wende Wude: There is great social competition. Although you are not proficient in all aspects of piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, you should be well informed and cultivate your special skills.
Speak modestly and morally: always think from the perspective of others, speak wisely, and impress people with women's gentle words.
Have both ability and political integrity: good character increases popularity, and taste increases charm; Constantly learning and pursuing progress can make you more and more beautiful.
Cultivation and virtue: explore and make good use of women's delicate and gentle characteristics, show self-confidence in work, show elegance in life and show virtue in family.
The new "three obedience and four virtues" mentioned above is quite different from the old "three obedience and four virtues". In the feudal society of China, according to the principles of "internal and external differences" and "men are superior to women", Confucian ethics requires women to "obey three things and be virtuous". The so-called "three followers" means not marrying from the father, marrying from the husband, and dying from the husband. The so-called four virtues refer to women's virtue, women's words, women's appearance and women's merits. Nowadays, with the development of the times and the improvement of women's status, they are gradually abandoned.